Self actualization or self-image actualization, Which do you primarily invest in?

[LiveYourDream]

“Many people dedicate their lives to actualizing a concept of what they should be like, rather than actualizing themselves. This difference between self-actualization and self-image actualization is very important. Most people live only for their image”--Bruce Lee

I think people often lose sight of this distinction or maybe because modern culture is so image based, they don't even see it to begin with. Much of modern culture revolves around image promotion. Countless corporations profit millions of dollars each year, as they teach consumers what image is most desired (profitable to them) and what products one 'needs' to buy, so one can be closer to portraying that most desirable image.

Eventually most people will notice that a persona and/or life based primarily on image will leave one feeling mostly empty inside. On the other hand, developing/knowing one's Self from the inside-out has a very different result. In doing so, one can experience a satisfaction with themselves and with their life, that image promotion alone, will never provide. I am not implying it has to be one or the other. I think which focus primarily drives a person's life will correlate to their satisfaction in life. It's important to be aware of choices and the actual level of reward they can offer.

Why the topic? To me, it seems it relates closely to how different men undertake their red pill transformations and their results. I think some men perceive a successful DJ/Alpha/Man/Red-pill conversion, as an image they are trying to align with. Their focus seems to be, how they look, how they act, and how they are perceived by women and others (without necessarily transforming their core.) Then there are other men who seem to primarily take on the red-pill transformation as a process of transforming themselves from the inside-out. They learn, focus, and work to become/be 'that Man,' not just an image of one.

Again, I am not convinced it has to be all one or the other. I do think a man's results and his internal life satisfaction will vary greatly depending on where he places his focus.

Thoughts? Agree or disagree? Is there more to it that I am missing? Which do you personally invest more of your resources (focus/time/energy/$$) in? Is it working for you? Are the results satisfying?

TL;DR In bold above

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Yeah I see what you mean. One side is being what you want others to see you as, the other as being what you want to be. Like that old proverb of "just be yourself, don't be what others want you to be" or however it goes. People will eventually see through your facade though, as I do believe that each person sends out some type of energy that lets you know about them (like a vibe you get from them). Better to just be happy and do your own thing imo.

 

[AlexLefty1]

Agree. The world, at least America, is so very image focused that it's almost laughable. Just look at the proliferation of the biggest self image promoter, social media. The fact that Instagram now has ~500 million monthly active users is kind of disgusting. So many people are focused on projecting an image to world that isn't necessarily a reflection of who they are. The results? Men and women who despondent and diffident on the inside, yet on top of the world on the outside. We have become attention cravers and validation seekers. I mention social media because it's the biggest example I can think of, and is literally changing our brains on a biological level.

Rant over. But yeah I think inside-out is obviously better than image promotion. And I do my best to work on self-actualization, but I'm sure a large portion of it is actually self-image actualization. As long as you understand the difference, however, and are focused on the former, I think you're heading in the right direction. Also you bring up a good comparison in trying to develop yourself into you idealized image, vrs just developing yourself. It's conundrum, no doubt. Because you have to have a goal or image or something that you're striving for in self-actualization. But whether or not this is actually the biggest folly, I do not know.

 

[Julian]

I think its a phase. Fake it til you make it. The image self actualization is something you do to change how you look at yourself and feel about yourself. Even if it is a fabrication at best in the beginning. Eventually..if and when you reach the next level you will be able to ascertain the core inner beliefs which is the true self actualization and naturally it will reflect in a self image actualization and be FOR REAL.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Betas are so repressed by society as a whole that they are not themselves, the don't know who they are to begin with, for they were not free to act as they desired to, exploring their identiry this way. So when you discover the manosphere you find a really important part of yourself: you are a man. And, as we men tend to do, we get excited and start trying tons of different manly stuff. A lot of these activities or ways or interacting with the world don't click with us, a lot of them do. So you integrate what fits your identity and discard what doesn't, creating this way an identity that you feel comfortable with. This is the YOU you really want to be, in a way the YOU you really are deep inside. You have to see through what society wants you to be and see who you really want to be. But it's a process. I say: let the newbies commit mistakes, indicate their wrongs and let them do their thing...is the only way to learn and grow.

 

[JohnChops]

Hell ya we are imaged focused, look at all the girls photoshopping their pictures on instagram because they care about what other people think of them. THey think people want to see them "perfect" they have to be "perfect". Pook said it best, perfect is boring.

When I started to learn all this redpill / dj stuff, I did strive to be the persona , hiding what I really wanted and who I really was. Then a few years ago I decided I was not happy and did not do that anymore and found a good middle ground between Red Pill/Dj concepts and aligning it with who I was.

Doing that makes me feel happier every day. I think a lot of Red pill people think they have to analyze each situation, they have to do everything by the book, everything has to be "perfect". Nothing is perfect. Just as in war, a plan for war will never go as play, it will never go off without a hitch because war is not a perfect scenario, we do not live in a vacuum.

I was talking to this girl recently, before I deleted my instagram, who said she had to block a few people because they would judge her based on the pictures she posted. I was so shocked, I laughed and said, " you actually care about what other people think of you?" , she replied, " No .... well I do care a little ...". Why, is all I asked and she couldn't give me an answer.

So, a little TLDR, don't strive to be someone, just do it. And do not listen to the critics, because they have no insight to your life.

 

[oOh Nasty]

I think those who are new to PUA start out with your latter. After a few years of this, many of them will realize that they are still unsatisfied. That's when they start working from the inside out.

Whether you decide to work on your image first (fake-it-till-you-make-it) or start with your core first, it's quite a process regardless. I think this may touch upon slightly to the recent introversion / extroversion theme that's slowly being brought up recently on these forums. Those who are non-stop energetic and can meet dozens upon dozens of new people per day may work more on their image than anything. Those who are prone to introspection will probably spend more time working on the congruity between their private alone life and their social life. Both are pretty important, in my opinion. I've spent a great deal of work on my image, but I don't think it took away from understanding who I truly am.