Seen the BPD ex with new boyfriend after a year and three months of ghost....

[TonyBaloney]

Hey guys,

Any of you who were using the board about sept 2011 and beyond (especially bradd80, who has helped me enormously) may be familiar with my BPD story.

It was the most exhausting, humiliating, stressful, depressing episode of my life......to a lesser or greater degree i was foooked.....i kept going back for more, but after a final insult, have managed NC for 16 months. I am still recovering to the damage to my soul.....i think that this one, who looked like an angel, was touched by evil......


Today i bumped into her, and although i dont feel sexual or anything towards her, i still have anger, resentment and hatred for the way i was treated. She was with what looked like her boyfriend....an Arabic or mixed aced guy. Didnt feel at all jealous.... just felt very sorry for him with a biyatch like that......

I at least have now met a decent goos woman who ive fallen for, and who is pregnant with my child. Its earlier than anticipated after only 6 months.....but i really really want a child, and this will be such a lovely thing for my life.......

I just wish i could erase the memory of whaat happened to me. Its like shes a lurking dark cloud. troublee is she still lives in the saame town ;( just gotta keep ghosting i guess.... how would u handle it?

 

[Findog]

+ everything bradd80 said. It takes time and lots of work on yourself to get past it to the other side. Also meeting a much healthier woman and hitting it off with her will do wonders.

 

[AgentSmith]

Similiar situation back in 2010 buddy. LTR with a crazy (7 1/2) years. Same small ass town 3K POP, trashed my name, had a house together, and a lakehouse. Sold both, split town, best decision i've made in my life. Like mentioned above, just avoid the spots she tends to be at, your kid will be a blessing and help occupy your mind off this chick furthermore. Best of luck.

 

[Boilermaker]

I'll just post this here:

"YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbZEkFLXh9Y

 

[Harvey_Poon]

You've handled it very well my friend.

You've been through a rough experience so of course those feelings are still there.

You will probably always think about the experience about her at some point but at least you don't have to live it anymore.

You just need to erase it as a bad memory but she won't feel any remorse.

It was probably a shock to see her again so that is why your emotions are raw.

Just remember that the guy she was with will be getting the same treatment that she gave you very soon.

Make sure that she has no way to contact you like phone, email etc. because after seeing you in person, you can expect some sort of contact from her in the near future.

May your days be filled with much greatness and plenty of poon

Dr. Harvey Poon

 

[BlackEricNorthman]

I had one of those horrible relationships where I feel too fast for a woman who had all the signs of a bad relationship written on her. Ignored the red flags attempted to become serious with her and she knowingly put me through the ringer mentally and emotionally. Even now I still think about her sometimes despite how horrible and embarrassed she made me feel. I use to get really angry about it but I realized something.

I couldn't blame myself for being human and going for what the heart wanted. Should I have listened to my intuition and been more careful in the relationship with her? Yes. Did I do the right thing and try to make her happy? Yes. Then I stop there. You can't stay upset about your past with her for three reasons.

1) Most women are breed to be master manipulators. They have magazines, movies, tv shows, mothers, aunts, friends that teach them from childhood what to do to keep, attract, use, and dismantle a man. It's centuries old social conditioning and it's being taught and cultivated to new generations of girls everyday all over the world.

2) Despite what she may have said you did or what you felt you could of did, be sure you aren't exaggerating the negative in your head over the positive. I've been the ashole who girls have cheated on their man with and I've been cheated on too. I took care of this girl I was dating after she had a major car accident. I cooked for her, wrote songs for her all that, even told her I loved her and she made me feel like sh1t for doing these things. Then she hooks up and moves in with a guy that proceeded to beat the **** out of her and fyuck her friends. I eventually came to terms with the fact that I did all the right things to make it work, but I can do all the proper boyfriend things. If she is too stupid to tell gold from fool's gold there is nothing I can do to be more valuable in her eyes.

3) This horrible relationship is a major learning experience you'll never forget. The anger you feel is a reminder so that a woman will never get away with that bull****e again. Now not only will you be more aware of the pitfalls of a bad relationship and of avoidable women, but you also have valuable life lessons that you can pass onto your kid later in life so that they can avoid life's pitfalls earlier than you did.

 

[SecondHalf]

Forgive that woman for who she is as she knows no better.
Forgive yourself for failing yourself.

You accomplish these two things, you won't need to post here if you bump into her again.

SH

 

[TonyBaloney]

Thank you guys, there are so many really good replys here that would take forever and a day to answer, so Im just going to thank you all fo your wisdom and advice.

Really great to know how supportive the community is in situations like this...... friends/family find it difficult to understand......

Thanks again bros