Seems like when I try to take my mind off women, one-itises become infectious again..

[squirrels]

On the advice of some people on this forum, I've been trying to take my mind off of women for a little while and focus on myself and what I want to do.

Only problem is that without actively pursuing women, or at least actively thinking about women, I'm falling back into some bad habits, not the least of which is thinking about a girl I was falling for a while back.

I'm not fawning over her or anything...in fact, I'm acting as cool and aloof as I can without seeming ignorant, but I keep thinking about hooking up with her, when there's really not that much possibility, if any, of it happening. (I've got this burned image in my head of her bare tummy and hips in these low-rise pants and every time I think about it I wanna go hump some furniture or something ) And since I'm trying to take a break from "other" women, it's very hard to shake those thoughts.

Anyone else have this problem? When you do, what do you do about it?

 

[MrNiceGuy]

i know exactly where you're coming from, if you're feeling a bit down and bored, not sure what to think of while you drift off to sleep I sometimes turn to "lets imagine what it would be like if me and so and so got together..." or "lets imagine so and so leaving her boyfriend and me seducing her"

Of course for a few moments all these thoughts are very nice and you feel pretty good, untill you remember of course that none of it is going to happen and all you've done is get yourself even more obsessed with so and so.

I'm not sure the best way to handle it other than, just stopping yourself doing it.. maybe imagine the next pick up you're going to do and how well its going to go rather than focussing your thoughts on a lost cause.. yeah actually thats the way I've dealt with it in the past, just go out for a wander and hope you at least get eye contact and a smile off one or two fitties, essentially do enough to remind yourself that there are other women out there and that some of them are attracted to you, the one-itis (ie the only girl who you really get on with) suddenly becomes alot less important. Untill of course you go another few weeks without scoring.. but thats a different issue!

 

[RKTek]

Duh, when have I NOT had this problem. Even while banging my current concubine, my mind will wander to a past encounter or vision of a previous hot chick. To me it's normal. What ever you want to think of or imagine, or fantasize about is up to you. And the beauty part of it is that it's completely private.

Who among us, when we were younger, didn't get a woodie over one of our better looking 7th grade female teachers bending over to help another student and we got a glimpse of down-blouse? Or a centerfold in a magazine that you just could NOT get out of your head? To me such things go along with the territory of being a normal, healthy male. Did you ever really think you'd score with that 7th grade teacher? Of course not. Same with your ex girlfriend. Think all you want, even if you know you don't really want her back.

Wanna fantasize about this ex girl for the rest of your life, or until you actually find someone who 'does it' for you better? Go right ahead!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by MrNiceGuy
i know exactly where you're coming from, if you're feeling a bit down and bored, not sure what to think of while you drift off to sleep I sometimes turn to "lets imagine what it would be like if me and so and so got together..." or "lets imagine so and so leaving her boyfriend and me seducing her"

Of course for a few moments all these thoughts are very nice and you feel pretty good, untill you remember of course that none of it is going to happen and all you've done is get yourself even more obsessed with so and so.

I'm not sure the best way to handle it other than, just stopping yourself doing it.. maybe imagine the next pick up you're going to do and how well its going to go rather than focussing your thoughts on a lost cause..

That's just it...because I've stopped thinking about picking up women, there IS no "next pick up". Seriously, I don't think I feel comfortable trying pickups right now because there's so much info to digest, even just getting the attitude right is difficult.

I swear, I'm going to need to start keeping a journal or something to keep all of my thoughts down.

I actually IMed her a couple minutes ago...we chatted for a little while, but the convo just sort of drifted off (big surprise...actually I think she' just a crummy conversationalist LOL) and I was talking to someone else and almost called that other person by her name! I'm saying to myself, "This is sick. Something needs to be done."

I just can't seem to figure out what I want right now. I don't know if I want to deal with a relationship with anyone, but then again I don't know if I want to deal with casual, meaningless sex...cuz like it or not, most of the women worth knowing or even f'ing aren't going to give it up on just meeting you.

It's just that I'm trying to sort myself out...my conscious mind has fully accepted the DJ/be a man philosophy, but my gut instinct is still fighting it, and that makes it hard to believe. Having to deal with old could-have-beens and is-she-stills doesn't make it any easier.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

The thing with one-itis's is you get the idea that they are just perfect for you and there's no one else out there like that..

The times when I've been able to temporarily stop that thinking recently has always been when I've met someone that has at least had the potential to become someone special to me. It doesnt matter if I fail to get the #, (as long as I dont see them again all the time) it just provides a reminder that there are other women out there and therefore concentrating energy on the ones you cant have is a waste of time.