Seeking Advice

[Outsider]

I need some advice on how to handle a situation that happened last night at a bar to my girlfriend.

My girlfriend was at a bar that I bounce at last night. She was out celebrating the end of the school year with some of her fellow classmates and a professor.

She tells me last night on the way home nonchalantly that one of her guy friends was wasted and came up to her and grabbed her ass. She tells the guy, "Hey, don't do that, you know I'm in a relationship. Besides Chris (me) would kick your ass if he was here and saw you do that." He goes on to the grab her ass again. And that pisses me off.

I have no real tie to this guy besides my girlfriend. They're old friends.

I'm a little upset about this, and I never really liked this guy, so I wouldn't feel bad about kicking this guys ass or breaking his arm. I would feel bad about getting arrested for felony battery and blowing my four years of school, year of paramedic training, and any opportunity of becoming a firefighter.

Should I call this kid up and tell him, "Hey jackass! Touch my girlfriend again and I'll break your ****ing arm!" And then break his arm if he does. Or next time I see him should I try to bait this guy into a fight, and then **** him up?

Please, give me your advice on how I should handle this.

 

[romangod]

I would feel bad about getting arrested for felony battery and blowing my four years of school, year of paramedic training, and any opportunity of becoming a firefighter.

There's your answer. It isn't worth it.

Cheers!

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

getting arrested for felony battery and blowing my four years of school, year of paramedic training, and any opportunity of becoming a firefighter.

How could you risk all these for a stupid thing a (drunk) guy did to your current gf?
Furthermore, in the grand scheme of things, your current gf is just an unimportant broad.
How could you possibly think to kick away your future for a random girl?

Should I call this kid up and tell him, "Hey jackass! Touch my girlfriend again and I'll break your ****ing arm!" And then break his arm if he does. Or next time I see him should I try to bait this guy into a fight, and then **** him up?

Yes, go ahead and show him and everyone else that you're a dumbass who loses control over his mind and actions.

Contrary to movies' plots, you don't have to go wild when one makes advances to your woman.

When you meet him, tell him politely that you didn't appreciate his actions and ask him, politely, to never do it again. Don't call him to tell this, just wait until you meet him; call him only if he repeats that before the you two meet.


Be a gentleman, fella, and your words will weigh more and you'll get a lot more respect than a goon.

 

[Outsider]

Unfortunately my girlfriend is not a random girl or "just an unimportant broad." I've been with her for over two years, so we're somewhat deeply involved.

Furthermore, I feel like I have to do something so this guy won't do this again.

 

[horaholic]

You can tell him to back off without being a douchebag about it. I've been told by a couple guys coolly, but firmly "Dude, dont grab my girl again." and I will stop. I didnt know the girls were taken though, in my defence. I didnt apologize, I just said "Ok, I wont." Be like that. Give the guy a fair warning, but dont actually threaten him. If he does it again after that, then he is starting a fight.

Also, realize that it isnt about your girl so much as it is about your ego, anyway. Dont do stupid shyt just to heal your ego. This isnt an insult, but we guys tend to let our ego rule over us sometimes, and it isnt smart or right. Be confident enough in yourself to know that it isnt some life threatening ordeal.

 

[WaterTiger]

Have a friend call him and say this:

Sir, I am a lawyer.
My client, (girl's name) is considering filing a sexual assault charge against you. Did you molest her after she told you not to touch her? Well yes, some people might consider it funny. Other's consider it assault and could cost you your job, a steep fine and several years in jail. This looks very, very bad for you sir. I would suggest you not contact or touch this woman till we see if we have a case here. I'll be in touch.

No matter what Mr. Touchy-tush says, have your friend stay cool and keep saying things like. "Oh this doesn't look good for you"

Don't resort to violence when sneakiness can fix the problem.

 

[Kerpal]

Get her a can of pepper spray.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

She tells me last night on the way home nonchalantly that one of her guy friends was wasted and came up to her and grabbed her ass. She tells the guy, "Hey, don't do that, you know I'm in a relationship. Besides Chris (me) would kick your ass if he was here and saw you do that." He goes on to the grab her ass again. And that pisses me off.

Whatever WaterTiger said.

And that, WaterTiger, would throw them in the clown box.

Have a look at what I quoted in bold.
Does it resemble:
"She tells me last night on the way home outraged and mad that one of her guy friends sexually assaulted her blablabla Go away you pervert! Leave me alone! blablabla" ?

It does not.

So the story, as I see it, is:
A drunk guy who has the hots for my girlfriend made some moves on her. She didn't accept the advances.
Should I be an ape and possibly ruin my future by kicking his ass?


Are we, all of a sudden, playing in a gangster movie where the ones who even contemplate the idea of fooling around with the properties that are our girlfriends should be beaten up to the point where you break their arms?
That's some deranged thinking right there.

 

[L B]

Your girl should know better now and not hang out with this friend of hers, especially after an incident like that. She should also know how to defend herself against people harassing her.

Never throw away your future for a woman.

 

[Ease]

You sound like your insecure and jealous.

I see guys try to pick fights over the things like this all the time. Truth is, its not for the honour of their woman, its because they are soft jelly on the inside and are dying for a chance to show off and get angry over their jealousy. Its more the fact that he's around his gf that is getting the jealous boyfriend angry, not because he did X or Y.

Stop showing a reaction to your girlfriend. Stop being a jealous weener, you can talk tough guy but you cant beat up a guy everytime he makes a move on your girl.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Forgive, but don't forget.

I would try to make all of it happen again, and next time be paying attention. Your window of opportunity to use violence is very brief. As soon as one of them walks away, it is no longer self-defense. But if you catch him in the act, I think you can legally hit him. The right of self-defense is transferable - it's the same as her hitting him. And by the way, you're supposed to stop when he is no longer a threat.

If I were a bouncer, I would brush up on wrist locks and single joint manipulation. Having a finger bent backwards will take the fight out of most people. Plus, it does not look violent like punches and kicks; it looks like normal bouncer behavior, and it is harder to see on video. As you toss the guy out, you have the option to break his wrist, fingers or thumb. But the pain will probably subdue him before that happens.

 

[Outsider]

Thanks for the feedback.

Just to get this out there quickly, I'm neither jealous nor insecure; guys hit on my girlfriend all the time and I'm alright with that, but I'm not okay with some guy violating my girlfriend after she tells him to back off.

I wasn't at the bar when it happened so I couldn't handle the situation then, the only question is what to do about it now.

I like the forgive but don't forget, and anyways its probably to late to do anything about it now but I'm still pissed off about it, I don't like the fact that this guy might just get away with this. Moreover, I don't want this fool to think it's going to be okay to do this again.