Seeing your ex macking someone else.

[Lost Cause]

Last night was a very surreal experience for me. I hit up the local Brewing company with a friend for a quick beer (it was after 12 already) and guess who's there? My ex of 2 1/2 years. As I get closer she started macking this dude right in front of me. Now I know she didn't see me because her back was to me but i was 5 feet away from her when it happened.

My world turned blurry when they were kissing. I couldn't see anything in focus. My hands, feet, the room. It all felt like I had been spun around really fast 100 times and jerked to a halt. I had to say something but I couldn't talk.... So I tapped her on the shoulder and said Hi and gave her one of my "Whats up slut" looks... then walked away and got a beer. And she wasn't even 21! I shoulda had her ass kicked out.

I was crushed guys. The fact that a girl I'd never seen so much as hug another guy but myself is all over someone else just got to me. For a second I was gonna pummel the guy but what would of that done? Nothing. So much for the "I need to be alone" speech she gave when we broke up. The other, underlying part of it all was the fact that she had moved on faster than I had. That was more of a male pride thing than anything else but nonetheless it still wore in on me.

Oh yeah and the best part is that she came over without notice a few days ago and asked me out to lunch. I declined her invitation though and now I'm glad that I did.

This whole event made me realize something. I need to get on it. I need to stop worrying about women and work on myself. I need to do well in school, accomplish my goals, improve myself inside and out and start crossing those things off my to-do list. I need to get a few new hobbies and meet some different friends. The girls will come when they see that you're a man of action and don't sit idly by waiting for life to throw things at you. They will, trust me on that one. Ya know what? My ex is a dumb, coked out hairdresser and that's all she'll ever be. I've got a lot more going for me than that. Good riddance to her.

Man what a fukkked up night. A script writer for "The OC" couldn't of written this one any better.

 

[Revlis]

That sucks man. When did you two break up?

As you know an ex is someone from the past and sooner or later she was going to meet other guys.

 

[NewMan]

I here you.

I think we've all been there - and no matter how much you feel you've moved on, it still effects you.

Be strong brother - even though it's hurting, you can't let her know.....

I think what it boils down to is this. Whenever you break up with someone, you want to move on and hook up with someone else before your ex - that way, when you find out that she's if someone you somehow feel it will not hurt as much. That's wrong - in my experience it hurts just as much.

But you did it right.

 

[Lost Cause]

We broke up at the end of June. She broke up with me right after driving me home from the ER after a dirtbiking accident. I got an abrasion on the right side of my face and after she took me home she was like.. Yeaaahhh we can't be together anymore. Hahaha guess who healed up perfectly? Dumb shallow hoe. That's all she was concerned with was her looks. She looked in every mirror she walked by and was always fixing herself. I'm glad she did. She's stuuuuuuuupid. It's all she has going for her and she knows it.

 

[Revlis]

You'll meet someone that looks better and has a nicer personality soon. When you do I'm sure you'll feel on top of the world!

 

[dionysius_d]

when its over, its over..

i can't help having small patience for guys who still want their ex and yet its over and done with..

my own best friend.. divorced his wife.. now ex. but would have a heart attack if he saw her talking with another guy..

why?? on top of that, he broke it off!!

make a decision and be man enough to stick with it.

if you don't want her, don't think about her anymore.. finito.. easy.

if you do, then that's another story.

 

[Lost Cause]

Dude i didnt say I wanted her. It just sucks to see a girl you've slept with for all yer adult life in the arms of another guy. THat's all. I don't want her back I just didn't want to see that.

 

[dionysius_d]

sorry, yeah my response was over-done. i too would have a reaction in such a circumstance.. though i am able to distance myself from such a thing or the emotional attachment from the past.

best wishes.

 

[Borgia]

You might be wrong but it doesn't matter

Man, thats difficult. I know that if i saw my ex do something like that i wouldn';t want to look - however, it will never happen as we are in different countries - something which i am still glad about. Anyhow, you keep attacking your ex but i think that is more of a sign of weakness then strength - you still care about her and are upset that she has got over u before u have her.

However, her macking that guy DOES NOT NECESSARY MEAN THAT SHE HAS GOT OVER YOU, she could be just trying to forget about you by doing or she could be insecure and feel inferior without a man.

Regardless of that, its over! Just come to terms with that, concentrate on improving yourself - work out, do whatever hobbies you have, phone old friends, KEEP YOURSELF BUSY and accept that its over

Borgia

 

[CGE333]

Hey man, just some more support. I know that is like a kick in the balls to see something like that. But you will get through it and judging from your post you are doing fine and putting the focus on improving yourself. You keep doing that and next time you will be the one with someone and she will be looking at you. Trust me, if she saw that it would affect her too, although somehow I don't think she would be as adult about it as you were.

 

[Lost Cause]

The more I think about it... the more I think that she saw me somehow and did it to make me jealous.... which I didn't do. My friend that was with me swears that she didn't see me but what does he know?

I just want to call her and ask her "So if you've moved on so well then why do you call me all the time and come over unannounced?" I really need to know that. But I won't call her I'll wait for her to call me.

 

[NewMike]

Which bar? Goat Hill?

 

[Kodiac]

Dude, i know that EXACT feeling - it sucks, BAD!!

My ex - oneitis, lets say she was the chick i never even imagined myself with, she was fine, and i mean FINE - blonde, tight clothes and the body to boot! but due to this site i managed to change that, and i got her

Fast forward - she disrespects me one night at a club, she thought i had left to go and find my mates (i was playing hard) but i couldn't leave cause i still had a drink with me - so i head back in to the club and she's all over this try hard homey punk - you know the type!

Then i experience that exact feeling you mentioned - man it sucked. I didn't know what to do. Basically i grabbed my balls, walked up, tapped her on the shoulder & told her that it WAS OVER! The dude fired some lines at me but i was too focused on her to worry about his IQ of 5 comments.

Looking back on it now, i don't regret what i did..but i still wish i had smashed that dudes face in... apparently he fuked around with one of my mates the following weekend. Punk needs an *ss whooping.

Getting off track here, lol But sounds like you are definately on the right path man, keep up the good work!

 

[Lost Cause]

Dude its nice to finally find someone who knows what I'm going through. All my friend can say is "Dude get over it and move on." But they have no clue. Man it still hurts 3 days later. I've had so many questions go through my mind... "Did she know I was there?" "Is she dating this guy or did they just meet?" "Did she kiss him to make me jealous?" "Why did she run into the bathroom after I confronted her?" "Should I call her?" and after seeing that you can't help but want her back a little.

I mean why would she try so hard to get a hold of me and try so hard to get me to go out with her to lunch if she was seeing someone already?

 

[Lost Cause]

I think i'm gonna call her sometime this week and just lay it out for her.

NEVER CALL ME AGAIN. NEVER COME OVER AGAIN. NEVER SEND ME AN E-MAIL AGAIN. IF YOU'VE MOVED ON DON'T TRY AND DRAG ME ALONG FOR THE RIDE.

I told her that once before but she didn't get the clue. I think she needs to hear it again.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Dude, you broke up almost three years ago!!! Why haven't you dealt with whatever caused the breakup and moved on??!! The only way that it could get any worse is if you started stalking her!

Quit obsessing over the past and start focusing on yourself. Trust me, you would give a rip about her if you had your own life in order and was seeing different women!

Be a DJ and stop acting like an AFC, women won't find it attractive!

 

[NewMan]

Lost Cause...

Don't do it...

Don't call her, email her or contact her. Don't ask her about it....

If you do, she knows she's got you. Got you bad.

I know the feelings your going through - I know you want answers to questions - why and did she see you etc....

But do you think that she will be honest with you? do you think that she will not continue to play games with you?

And, anyways, what does it matter?

Talking to her about this, will only delay your recovery - it will set you back, bring back your emotions and memories of her. It's going to fvck with you.

Your probably feeling the way you are right now, because you don't have a chick - correct? If you had a hottie you were going with, would you give a damn? probably not.

Focus on other things if you can, but don't confront her about this - there's nothing good that will come out of it - you'd just let her know she's got to you.

 

[echo1212]

DO NOT email call or contact her about the "incident". It will only come back to haunt you and prove to her that she can still get to you. Your best bet is to relax and have fun when/if you see her again. Be jovial, good natured, and most importanly..a man.

 

[learningtopimp]

So she was with another guy? Don't worry bro....there's millions of girls out there you just keep doing the DJ thing and you will have plenty of your own. I feel you it sucks...but keep it up you'll do great.

 

[Reto]

Been there. It took me a while to get over my oneitis. Then when I thought I was, she shows up at the gym with her a boyfriend.

Your X just stops by and calls? Next time she does, tell her she isn't welcome. "WE BROKE UP !!!" Chances are, she's up to something...She's still hanging on... ?

I don't know...