Seeing women as a financial threat?

[countermart]

Anyone who has read my posts over the years knows I’ve seen the ups and downs of LTRs, and not with low class girls, these girls are all doctors, last three anyway. But strangely despite their positions they do not have much money saved.

My problem is that after going through the divorce from hell after she literally went crazy, no really crazy (not my fault), 12 year marriage, taking me to court for 6.5 years, $500t in legal billing, and taking the assets back from millions that I built up from nothing, to well let’s just say a whole lot less, I’ve come to look at women as a bit of a financial threat.

I make it clear from the start that I would want a cohabitation agreement, in my last LTR I got one drawn up, but she just kept putting off signing it, it sat on the table for ages, which made me increasingly edgy, and this was a primary reason the relationship blew up as time ticked by.

I’m just not willing to risk my children’s future, another divorce and I’d be almost on the street and so would they, and I am just starting to re-establish myself.

She would say that if I didn’t trust her it left her without a firm foundation in the relationship, but I’ve seen enough of women to know that what they say is true to then, but may be completely meaningless at another time.

I can understand that a woman wants security, reasonable enough, but how do you get around the “You, don’t trust me issue?”

Don’t say spin plates, I’m really not into that I would like to find a great stable girl who wants a LTR but is able to go forward on a 50:50 basis, and not have to risk what I and my children have left. Also I’m getting older and it takes time to make money back especially in this economy.

Women just do not seem to have any empathy for this. They want me to risk it all again and I’m not willing to.

All around me I see marriages and relationships in tatters, my friends, work guys, family. I am not actually even sure if modern LTRs work at all. Perhaps LTRs worked when all you had to do was go out and hunt a few bison.

Any older guys having the same experience?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Countermart,
You are not Robinson Crusoe....No economic debacle can equal the potential of a Woman to destroy you...You have Kids,no reason to sign your assetts over to the capricious whims of a Woman,backed up by the malicious State...Why so desperate to have a Womens feet under your Table anyway?...far easier to have a couple of regular bolt holes...as things cool you move on!

 

[user43770]

Scaramouche just gave you all of the wisdom you need, but I will attempt to tack on.

I think, deep down, as a man that's had some life experience, you already know what we're going to tell you: the American dream is no longer possible. You can no longer meet a woman that will love you unconditionally and stick by your side no matter what. I mean, it's still possible, but no betting man would ever take the odds.

taiyuu_otoko is always the first to say that everyone is out for themselves. He's right every time. Everybody is most concerned with what will make their lives better.

Back in the day this was a given: A women needed a man to provide for her, and a man was happy to have his house, family and occasional pvssy. Everyone was happy.

These days, women are married to the government. The government will always support them. It doesn't matter what mistakes they do or don't make, they're always going to have a back up plan.

Do you understand why you and I are fvcked? Do you see why the perfect woman that you and I are searching for will never be found?


So, to reiterate what Scaramouche said, fvck these hoes when you can, and find happiness elsewhere the rest of the time.

 

[hithard]

You have to know exactly what you want in a woman beyond that of 'one that signs a prenup'.
You then need to change up where you are finding these women.

A couple of options could be to either find one that has established herself through her own hard work, preferably one with more worth than you. Women that slogged their guts out to build a business are generally different to those that just have a high paying job.

Or look in the charity sector for one that gives of her time freely and is not hung up on money (better to be backed by a rich family).

You possibly need to expand the circles you are looking for ltr material from. If you are just hitting the trophy wife circuit, expect more of the same. Aim for those with more than you if possible. It's the only way for some peace of mind.

LTR's are tricky in this day and age though so always protect yourself.

Scaramouche speaks the truth.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This is the way I look at things. When a guy hasn't gotten laid in a long time, he'll willingly bang any woman.

This is a given. But the thing is that he convinces himself, that he actually does want her. He's caveman brain tells him all kinds of lies, so he's conscious behavior will be congruent with a guy who's really into her, which is what SHE needs in order to bang him.

But after he nuts, that filter of sexual desperation is GONE. And if he has halfway decent game, he'll wonder why he thought she was all that, and he takes a walk.

If he's got NO game, (e.g. no options) he'll stick around.

Women are the SAME way.

When they are desperate for SECURITY and a RELATIONSHIP, she'll see a guy,and her cave woman brain will tell her that he's all that. So she acts congruently, the guy thinks he's found the perfect woman of his dreams.

But the longer she's in the relationship, the more her security-relationship based frame weakens. If she's got options, she wonders what she's doing with him, and SHE bails.

Girls bailing after a long relationship are bailing for the same reasons guys bail after they nut.

Problem is that this is worsened by the fact that society at large will ALWAYS tell the girl it's NOT HER FAULT. Courts back her up. Social media back her up. TV shows back her up.

This wasn't true 50 years ago. Girls had NO CHOICE but to stay in the relationship. They had no other option. Women may well have hated their husbands, and hated being married, but they had no better option. So for guys back then, it was EASY to marry some girl and do a minimum amount of work to keep it alive.

Today the pendulum has swung WAY to the other side.

In order to KEEP a women WANTING to stay with you, you simply have to continuously demonstrate to her that staying with you, (when the "love is gone") is a BETTER choice than being a social hero and extracting free money via the courts.

Which means you've got to do a LOT of work on the front end. Most of her friends have to NOT have been divorced. Most of her family has to NOT have been divorced. She has to BELIEVE that divorce carries social stigma and is ONLY the last resort option.

Asking a girl to stay in a relationship WITHOUT a full commitment is similar to a girl asking a guy to have sex WITHOUT ejaculating.

For guys, the whole purpose of girls is to ejaculate.

For girls, the whole purpose of guys is to commit.

They CAN be found (on both sides) but they've got to be pretty desperate, and this usually means they are stone cold nutjobs.

I don't believe that there are NEARLY as many psychopath women today as many people believe. It's just that any NORMAL woman would have little reason to stay in a relationship with her PRE-RELATIONSHIP desperation filters are sufficiently weakened.

It would be the same for guys if as soon as we banged a decent women, she suddenly turned ugly, and tons of other hot women appeared, AND it was socially acceptable to dump her and go for the new hotties.

I also believe that this male-female situation that's been getting worse and worse the past decade or two are a SYMPTOM (one of many) of cyclic societal collapse that happens every few hundred years or so.

To answer the OP's question, just realize to find what you're looking for, you've got to put in a LOT of work up front when screening.

A LOT. Meaning it's something you need to be doing ALL THE TIME, and understand you're looking for something you may NEVER find.

Problem is our caveman brains and our deep instincts that have filled up planet earth with billions of humans are kind of hard to manage with any degree of consistency.

No easy answers.

 

[sodbuster]

I've met a little Fillipina {friend of mine's wife introduced us, he had his wife sign a pre-nup} and We've discussed that before I'd ever get married, there would be one.... she's still talking to me. AMERICAN women need to be without husbands for another 10 years before they get the hint......
She's 29, college educated, no kids, slim and NICE. When we met, after 17 hours in an airplane, I needed a shower. So, I told her I needed a shower before we did anything. When I came out of the bathroom, she had my shirts hung up and my pants put in the drawers.....
When I tell an AMERICAN woman that, she thinks that's not such a big deal, but would SHE ever think of it?

 

[backbreaker]

most american women are generally garbage until they are about 40, but then.. well they are 40 lol

 

[backbreaker]

was reading a thread on reddit friday where this dude took this woman he had been dating for 4 years overseas no a month long Eruopean Vacation. On day 2, she breaks up with him saying she needs space. He's out of 6 grand for the trip. So he comes home becuase he's so down and she's living it up the entire trip and FLIES HER MOM OVER for the rest of the vacation.


someone in the comments says you are looking at it the wrong way. she did not cost you 6 grand she saved you about 85k in divorce money lol.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sodbuster,
Home Town Boy makes good.....Great you had a break away from fang Doctoring....Filipinas are an interesting option,I work with several,in general they seem to make wonderful Wives,but you have to marry the Family...What she did for you was an expression of her joy in Service,something her Occidental Sisters have lost!

 

[sodbuster]

You ALWAYS marry the family.... Here, you have the man hating mother-in-law, the crazy feminist sister, etc.... AND you HAVE to spend some Holidays with them.... alternate x-mas, etc.

They CAN"T move here easily, I may be Dead before they'd ever get a green card..... But, I understand the financial implications....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sodbuster,
Yes you are quite right,but with them it is to the power of X,go over there,and you will be expected to bank Roll Mum and Dad,take everyone in the extended Family out to big eats on a regular basis,single Sister gets Pregnant or thrown out of her Home and you will be expected to dig deep...But the care,the love the loyalty...Have our Women ever been like this?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Mauser,
"I see marriage as a threat, financially, if it is not handled properly"....In the Western World,it is impossible to protect yourself,Read Taiyuus post again!

 

[countermart]

Thanks guys,

Yes it is too larger risk in this day and age, especially the second time around. It is too easy for women to walk away when the going gets even a little tough.

I’ve had a lot to do with women now, and I’m coming around to the belief that the more you understand women the less you can love them.

A lot of a man’s love for a woman is projection. In other words he projects onto her what he wants her to be, what qualities he perceives a woman should have.

But he’s been sold a fantasy by society.

You would not think it should be this difficult.

But I look around me at other people and it is clearly not working for that many people.

 

[Colossus]

I've met a little Fillipina {friend of mine's wife introduced us, he had his wife sign a pre-nup} and We've discussed that before I'd ever get married, there would be one.... she's still talking to me. AMERICAN women need to be without husbands for another 10 years before they get the hint......
She's 29, college educated, no kids, slim and NICE. When we met, after 17 hours in an airplane, I needed a shower. So, I told her I needed a shower before we did anything. When I came out of the bathroom, she had my shirts hung up and my pants put in the drawers.....
When I tell an AMERICAN woman that, she thinks that's not such a big deal, but would SHE ever think of it?

When I started dating my gf we were long distance. When she came to visit all my laundry would be done, folded, and put away without me asking. All my dishes were clean. We split the cooking. She helped clean my house almost daily.

It was awesome, but I just chalked it up to us being long distance and her wanting to please me. Figured I'd enjoy it while it lasts.

Fast forward 6 months, she moves to my city and state. This behavior continues. Fast forward another 9 months, and she is STILL doing 90% of my laundry, cleaning up when we cook, and tidying up my house without me ever asking. She knows when I get back from a backpacking trip or long hike I just want to relax and she will make me dinner and make sure my load at home is light. Of course I help her too, but the help I would normally give any girlfriend (heavy lifting, fixing, scraping windows, etc) is markedly more appreciated by her. Most American girls expect these things (and more), but to her it's like I'm doing her a favor every time.

It could be that I have somewhat of a unicorn, but I honestly think it is good parenting, good genetics, and her virginity that made her this way. She has an excellent mother who embodies all the traditional female traits we covet here. Her demure personality I can attribute to genetics, and the virginity thing was just like winning the lottery in terms of probability. So yes, I am very, very grateful.

The biggest mistake I could make, however, would be to assume that all my work is done for me and I could just treat game and leadership like an afterthought. She is still a female, still has whims and moods (albeit mild), and without boundaries and guidance from me she could still become sassy, irresponsible, greedy, or lose respect for me. Anybody is capable of anything under the right conditions, and if we cant believe that we are deluding ourselves.

So if and when I marry her, will I demand a prenup? We've talked about it, and she would defer to my decision. Since I have no children and no major assets, I would need to talk with a lawyer to see if it would even make a difference. I do however make significantly more money than her, so the thought has occurred to me this could be used against me. It's a sad world we live in when even men with GOOD women need to take these measures. But better than being taken for half my net worth later on.

 

[Cejay]

Women are a huge financial risk. The pendulum has swung in their favor.

As I see it, unless you want to have children or need citizenship in a country there is no benefit to marriage, none, especially for a successful man.

I'd love to believe otherwise, I'd like to get into an LTR but I really don't want to lose half my **** and pay again so I likely won't.

CJ.

 

[TheBossman]

I don't know, is a torpedo a risk to a battleship?

 

[jimmy18]

Is the pope catholic?

 

[dasein]

As long as one of your top priorities is constant, daily contact with a cohabitating woman, yes, your finances are at risk, and that's just a risk you will have to shoulder.