seeing too much of each other?

[phillyb]

Hey guys, Well I have been seeing my girlfriend now for about six months. Things are going fairly well. I'm wondering how to tell my girlfriend that I would just like a night or two per week alone. IE by myself, such as sleep in my own bed, etc etc..

here is the situation.....I work 36-40 hours per week and have school fulltime. She on the other hand just has class during the week and comes home during the day, and takes naps...etc etc.. She lives right upstairs from me and I work at the complex that we live in. Just today she wanted to eat lunch with me, so i made time for that, on the clock mind you. So tonight I want to go to bed get some rest and do some work at my place alone. I even walk her f-cking dog for her tonight. When I go to leave i say that im going home, doing work and going to bed... She calls me 1 hour later and says she has got some stuff to give me. I go up and get it, and she starts laying into me that we never have sex, I'm not showing interest, etc etc blah blah fricking blah. Saying that I must not know how relationships work, Attacking my way of life("you come home, play with your stupid dog") which she is jealous of!(cook dinner, maybe do some homework and then you want to go to bed!!...YOU never want to have sex anymore!") I just tried to have sex last night by touching her in that area and she resisted)......Oh MY F-cking GOD!!!!! dude sometimes I just want to bang my head into the wall.


Am i missing something here? Please help...Philly

 

[Go West]

Oh man - I've burned several relationships because I just wasn't considerate enough of "her" feelings. Especially after I was working 10 hour days, going to classes and having a girlfriend. I feel ya brother. Closely examine this relationship because she sounds like she may have some emotional probs (what's new?).

Basically you have limited choices. The obvious is to keep your power and do whatever the heck you feel like doing. When you want to sleep, eat or bang, you do it, without getting an OK to do so. She'll probably be more attracted to you after her initial tantrum.

Another chioce is to explain to her how busy you are and if she can't handle it, tell her that you need a few days of no contact to figure out if the relationship is worth it. Make sure she knows that you care about the relationship though.

Another alternative - ? AFC'ville! Bow down to her fits, do what she says and enjoy the next few months of getting used and abused and begging for sex.

 

[NewMan]

Whose rules do you want to live by?

Yeah - that's right yours.

You know what you've got to do.

 

[phillyb]

Well, the other night we hung out. She was being nasty the whole evening, saying insulting s-it, and just being way too irratable. While we are watching a movie, she freaks out about something so stupid and starts calling me an idiot......etc etc same ol s-it all f-cking night. After this I had enough....I went to get my things and she stood in the doorway blocking me.....i said move and she didn't.....I then physically pushed her out of my way, and she slapped the sh-t outta me saying " Don't you dare touch me!!" I walked away. About an hour later she IMs me saying she is sorry and she was being nasty all night. I did not respond as I was in bed by then. Next day I go to call her and she is very short on the phone saying We'll talk later.......Next day I IM her and she doesnt respond. Finally went up to her place and she said it's not working out.....she said me pushing her was the last straw...and that I shouldnt even try to get her back....her mind is made.....She still wants to be cival and thinks we should be friends....because of our animals......I don't (is that childish?) I want no contact honestly......and A question for those who had the patience to read through this.....was it totally wrong to push her...???? I apologized for it....but it just seems like she was asking for it....






peace...

 

[Euthyphro]

never push!

Women will drive you crazy all the time and there will certainly be moments when it may seem like a girlfriend, especially one that won't let you out the door deserves a shove. My advice is never touch a girl in the heat of the moment. Not because she needs protecting from you but because you need protecting from her.

The reality of our legal system is that it presupposes that women are fragile victims and they are given the benefit of the doubt and an unfair advantage in legal proceedings. This advantage is due to years of serious rape charges being filed against real live rapists. THis is not a rant against women as I think it is horrific anytime anyone, regardless of gender is hurt or has been violated against their will. Rather, as a consequence of abuse and rape, women are empowered and encouraged to report all acts of domestic violence to the police. And your pushing her out of the way will certainly be viewed as an act of domestic violence in the eyes of the law.

Be careful with this girl right now b/c she seems to be trying to keep control of you at your own expense. I'm not trying to say she will press charges or anything, but if she does, its her word against yours.

One of my good friends had a similar situation with a girlfriend as you and he physically moved her aside while trying to leave. I don't kow the specifics but he ended up having to attend anger management classes for four months! This guy is one of the mellowest people I know and wouldn't hit a dog that just bit him but the court saw things in the girls favor and to be safe required he get anger education.

Be Careful!