Seeing girl with boyfriend

[Scaramouche]

Dear Vlad,
Take care with this Lady,if she is still with him she could be using you as an innocent lever on him,see if she can get his neck back into the noose,he could cut up rough it happens...She exposes herself as calculating and manipulative...don't get emotionally involved with her...

 

[MacAvoy]

I love how the morality police think they can get someone to change their mind. He's set in his way, your not going to change him, quite trying to be holier than now in an attempt to make yourself feel better about yourself.

As for the OP, I think its low interest. The reason the guilt comes into effect is because your not creating enough stimulation for her. She's slightly bored and therefore goes into thinking about her b/f. Whereas if she had a great time with you and had a blast, the last thing on her mind would be her b/f.

Maybe your focussing too much on the sex aspect. Try to be a little more adventurous and fun, spontaneous, the stuff that is missing in 99% of relationships. Think of the movie True Lies with Arny & Jamie Lee Curtis, she's intrigued by that short **** car salesman because he brings adventure to her life. Once you do that, then you can work that into the sex aspect. However the used car salesmen, didn't have game to back up his package, why he failed.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Joekerr gets it. But then, the majority of his posts are spot on.

It isn't even about "doing what's right," for those of you that believe having principles will hurt you. It's about standing up for yourself and refusing to be a slave to the p*ssy.

Guys that hook up with an attached girl always get this smug sense of pride, as if they "beat" the boyfriend at his own game. They like to believe that they were just SO irresistible, the girl just HAD to cheat on her boyfriend/ husband.

Truth is, it's just a game to her, and you're a pawn. Maybe she's bored and needs the drama of an illicit affair. Maybe the boyfriend cheated on her and this is her "revenge." Either way, it's about HER, not you. When you hook up with her, you are making the statement that you're so desperate to get laid by her that you'll risk taking the blame and getting physically assaulted by her boyfriend. Hell, you don't even mind that she'll probably be getting railed by said boyfriend the next day, as long as you can get some p*ssy. That's called being a scavenger. It's no better than banging a fat chick!

It's not hard to get a girl, even a hot one, to cheat if she has even slightly questionable morals. After all, she doesn't really care WHO you are, she just needs to feel that rush of excitement. Chances are, though, she's MUCH more selective when choosing a boyfriend. It's similar to Hugh Grant cheating on his hot wife with a hooker. Should the hooker really feel flattered??? Should she think that, given the choice, he'd rather be married to HER?

I'm not saying the OP is guilty of ANY of this. However, there are a lot of people that believe that getting laid by any means is what makes a DJ. Remember that AFC's get laid, too. The difference is that a DJ gets girls on his OWN terms, not HERS--he doesn't settle for table scraps and he doesn't let a woman drag him into her silly games. This may result in less options, but overall it will bring you more happiness and respect.

When you outright refuse to sleep with an attached woman, it definitely does shock them to their core. They're so used to AFC's being all too eager to accept. They LOVE having the power to make these AFC's think that they "got lucky." When they encounter a DJ that would rather walk than be played and sucked into a end-of-relationship drama, they question their own feminine powers. It's a great punishment for such dishonesty IMO.

The one exception: Sometimes, a girl will be reputed to have a boyfriend, but, in reality, it's just some clingy AFC and no official commitment has been made. Attractive girls are ALWAYS "kind of" dating someone, so I wouldn't let a situation like this deter you. However, if it's obviously LTR (ESPECIALLY if they live together), it's in your best interest (as well as morally correct) to stay away.

 

[mikeraw]

Wow, I had forgotten about this post! I agree with you, Jeffst1980... Pretty much about everything you said, but you really put it in perspective with the whole scavenger thing.

I've come a long way and those two ended up getting married, I heard. I kinda feel bad for the guy, but whatever, I'll probably have to deal with him some day, so I'll be on the lookout.

PS... I just read the other posts, too. Thanks all. In hindsight, you are all quite correct. I can really see all your advice and predictions happened. Man, what an AFC I was... I may still be but won't recognize it until later, but at leas I can see the difference now in my standards and behavior.

 

[mikeraw]

No, wait... I looked up and saw who I was talking about. I was thinking of ANOTHER couple... the ones that this thread refers to, have since broken up and I banged her the other day that I was visiting my friends in Miami
(moved to HOU 01/07... little something called oil)

 

[Colossus]

I cant really add much on top of what others have said, but there are some key things to take away here:

Like Jeff said, very attractive (8-10) women are almost always in some phase of a 'relationship'. They are either dating casually, full-on LTR status, or on the tail end of one. It's a great social booster for her to be "taken", so understand if she is cheating on her s.o. with you, it ain't about you buddy; you're just the tool she chose for the job. She is unhappy with her relationship for whatever reason, but guys delude themselves when they think they were so money she just HAD to have him.

A woman who is truly unavailable will make that known in no uncertain terms. She will wear a ring or be very blunt about it.

My policy is this: I don't play second fiddle, for any reason. If she is in a relationship, then this is a poor use of my time, and to accept an advance would be weak on my part. Like Joe said, you are screwing someone else's girl, and like it or not, you area an active player in whatever damage ensues.

And Ive been #2, the "all's fair in love and war" guy. Trust me, when people cheat, it's about them, not you.

Just my .02.

 

[jophil28]

but that said, my personal belief (and its merely a personal opinion) is that to participate in an act that you know will bring someone else harm, simply for your own pleasure, is not of the highest moral standard.

Now that is the quote of the year. Gold.

 

[jophil28]

How about dating girls who are with an ex fiancee? There is this one I met online who basically nexted me for no reason. Then out of the blue she is contacting me now wanting to get together.

I chatted with her and she starts to tell me how she is with a guy who cancelled their wedding, and she is not happy, and she is trying to meet up with me. But she explains she is still "with" this guy.

What the hell?

Don't get played by her.
I was imvolved with just such a woman a few years ago. She lied to me about why she was still living in the same house with her "ex-fiancee".
Essentially, women who act like this are stiil with the ex until the BBD comes along and then they will branch swing.
This is SOP for goldiggers and immature brats in adult bodies..

 

[Latinoman]

I cant really add much on top of what others have said, but there are some key things to take away here:

Like Jeff said, very attractive (8-10) women are almost always in some phase of a 'relationship'. They are either dating casually, full-on LTR status, or on the tail end of one. It's a great social booster for her to be "taken", so understand if she is cheating on her s.o. with you, it ain't about you buddy; you're just the tool she chose for the job. She is unhappy with her relationship for whatever reason, but guys delude themselves when they think they were so money she just HAD to have him.

A woman who is truly unavailable will make that known in no uncertain terms. She will wear a ring or be very blunt about it.

My policy is this: I don't play second fiddle, for any reason. If she is in a relationship, then this is a poor use of my time, and to accept an advance would be weak on my part. Like Joe said, you are screwing someone else's girl, and like it or not, you area an active player in whatever damage ensues.

And Ive been #2, the "all's fair in love and war" guy. Trust me, when people cheat, it's about them, not you.

Just my .02.

I agree with most of what you wrote. I will say more...if a woman REALLY wants to be with you (and she is in the tail end of the other relationship)...she will NOT cheat on that man. Instead, she will dump him...and THEN get involve with you.