seduction of a friend (a situation)

[OrlandoDaHash]

Hi Guys!

I’m having a situation here myself and would be very grateful for all kind of input you may have.

I’ve known this girl for a couple of years now and although we don’t see much of each other we’re always happy and thrilled when we finally meet to catch up. We talk and laugh, cuddle and make fun of each other, etc. We even had each others photos stuck on the wall! I know, I know… it’s sooo cute it sucks.

Anyway, somewhere in the last year I’ve fallen madly in love with this girl. Since she was in another relationship at that time, I’ve let it go and didn’t make any moves. When her relationship ended I’ve decided to make a move and invited her to a date in London (we live in another part of Europe), since I’ve had some business to take care there anyway. At first she was enthusiastic and decided to go, but just a day before the flight she called me to say she changed her mind and that her ex-boyfriend would not approve. I was pissed at this and didn’t bother to dig into what her ex-boyfriend has to do with anything.

After that we didn’t really see each other much or talked about the London thing. I just kept my distance and stayed low. Lately we started to see each other more again in a group of mutual friends, playing kino again, having fun. I believe I’ve waited enough and things have cooled enough to invite her on a night out again, without our friends, so I can tune-up the intensity of my kino in private setting.

Now, I’ve checked the posts on this forum like Escaping The Friend Zone, which is great, but I would still like to hear some input from all of you. What do you think of this situation? How to continue with the seduction game? How would you play it out?

Thanks guys!

 

[Wiesman44]

First of all, you will go nowhere in this situation if you are 'madly in love with her' w/o being in a relationship. Your one-itis is unhealthy. Go find another girl to date so you can calm this one-itis down.

Once you do that, just ask her out on another date. If she gives another excuse she might just not be interested. An ex-bf excuse is kinda fishy seeing as you guys were friends before that. There should be no reason an ex would care.

You're probably worrying about how you can get her interested in you. She's already made up your mind. Get yourself a date, and then we'll talk about seduction.

 

[Slickster]

Man quit screwing around.

1. Make a date with her.

2. Forget about being in love or having a relationship. Just have fun.

3. At the end of the date go for a kiss.

If she gives you any negative responses to the above three steps then guess what? You've cut thru a whole bunch of crap and you can move on with your life.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
First of all, you will go nowhere in this situation if you are 'madly in love with her' w/o being in a relationship. Your one-itis is unhealthy. Go find another girl to date so you can calm this one-itis down.

Once you do that, just ask her out on another date. If she gives another excuse she might just not be interested. An ex-bf excuse is kinda fishy seeing as you guys were friends before that. There should be no reason an ex would care.

You're probably worrying about how you can get her interested in you. She's already made up your mind. Get yourself a date, and then we'll talk about seduction.

I agree with this. "Madly in love" is a red flag in my head. You were possibly giving out an aura that you were really interested in her that she picked up on...or maybe it was more blatant than an aura. The problem is that when you're friends with a girl you like, she tends to see a side of you that is "too nice". And you know that saying "nice guys finish last".

Also, she is just getting out of a relationship and you jumped at the opportunity. I think her ego may be inflated as well. She probably sees herself as a prize now. Look at it from her perspective. She just got out of a relationship and already there is a guy there waiting to date her. If this continues, she's going to force you to keep chasing her and she'll probably brush you off most of the time (did something like this happen already? . ). Anyways, doing what Wiseman44 said will help turn the tables in your favour. Show her and let her know that YOU are the prize. That other girls out there want you...and that maybe YOU'LL consider her (instead of the other way around).

 

[OrlandoDaHash]

First of all, you will go nowhere in this situation if you are 'madly in love with her' w/o being in a relationship. Your one-itis is unhealthy. Go find another girl to date so you can calm this one-itis down.

Although I am madly in love with this woman, I do full around and have sex with other women too. My mind just keeps ending up with her. Sort of crazy infatuation I guess.

You were possibly giving out an aura that you were really interested in her that she picked up on...or maybe it was more blatant than an aura.

Could be. That's also the reason I didn't call her or initiated any kind of contact for months after I've invited her to London back in February. And I never chased her. Not in direct kind of way anyway. I never told or showed her exactly how I feel about her.

...

But I guess you're right. I'll just have to ask her out, go into a full kino mode and see what happens.