This post thread started going of the rails a bit. Heres what I noticed though in the original post. Real advice to follow. Take it, and you'll be singing songs of victory.
1. Uh. KINO! Why did I not hear in your post about you touching her more. Especially while kissing.
2. I did hear you say a few times though " She touches my hand or not" She is initiating more than you? Or you are waiting for her to give you signals? Thats not working in your favor if that's the case. I think you know this already but Ill state it again... You need to be taking the lead here. Even when just making out. It will turn her on. It translates desire.
3. Your thread label is 'How to ESCALATE" Do exactly that and this problem is solved. Even if you are not trying to F6ck her that very night, you want to be touching her and rubbing her as if you are already f6cking her. That kissing rut gets boring real fast. I would be touching every part of her both under and over her clothes. Pulling her hips into mine. Pick her up and hold her while she straddles you and your kissing. I mean if you are not actually penetrating her I would still be making her think about it so much that she beg for you to do in the weeds of a parking lot. Which brings me to my next point.
4. Your frame is shook by your humble apartment. It is quite obviously why you are not escalating properly. It is giving you insecurities that are showing up in the physical realm of your interaction with her. STOP IT.
Here in lays the whole culture and entire sentiment of this forum... Stop apologizing (even to yourself) for who you are and what you have or do not have. You have and are, everything you need, and everything she wants already. Girls do not want perfection, they want someone who loves himself for his imperfections and is always in motion towards bettering them. Thats all you need to be. You. Perfectly imperfect. Smiling and confident that any flaws are only temporary because you are a man of value and perpetual motion. She will be turned on by your little hovel of an apartment as long as she feels like you dont care. You are confident its only temporary and shell be excited and turned on that she knows she met you on the way up.
I read a story in a relationship book that illustrates this. Guy A is out to dinner with a girl. Handsome successful, dressed well. Divorced. Because he is divorced and he perceives this as a negative and a failure, and he thinks women find it a turn off, that's how he talks about it. And, she is turned off indeed. His focus is on what his negatives are so he BECOMES to her a negative. Panties sty dry, and he doesn't get another date.
Guy B is an average Joe. He is on a date with the same girl. He talks about his life and struggles as well. He works two jobs, has 2 kids, is also divorced, and is not overly handsome. Yet, when he speaks about these possible "failures" he speaks of them happily. He says things like " I used to have it all. House, great job, wife kids, nice clothes. But as I look back, and I look at my life now, I have never been happier. When I lost my job, I had to take a job landscaping. I dreaded it, but now, I realize how much I love it. I love to work with the earth, I am outside, I smile randomly throughout the day, and my kids think its so much cooler that I am always dirty." Im glad me and my ex have moved on, and I am so excited for the future, because it all feels like opportunity and not failure." The girl slept with him on the very next date, in his sh!tty little apartment. And...she texts him all the time to see when they can do it again. She likes his place, because her place is so big she feels like she is always cleaning it and feels like she can relax over his apt. Plus, like his kids think its cool, she thinks he is sexy too, because he is always dirty from a mans day at work. He loves himself. He loves where he is in life. He seems happy and in motion towards betterment everyday. She thinks hes great.
Be your authentic self, without unraveling to beta blue of course... Unapologetically confident, and always KINOing. Youll be enjoying sex with her very soon.
About the relationship building: Thats fine to me man. If thats what you are after, fine, there is a ton of enjoyment in that, and, great sex to be had as well. However, the idea of that should not change the patterns of how you deal with her as a man. I think this take it slow nonsense in this case is you masking insecurities and biding time. That is going to build a relationship alright...Its called "Best Friends"
Escalate immediately!!!!. No one liners. No more long talks or walks.
Meet with her. Kino. Kiss. Drive her back to yours. Fix her a drink, and kiss her and undress her with the passion you claim to share. This girl wants to be F6cked as much as you want to F6ck her. Yet, there is not much sand left in the timer man. Take your time building the relationship, thats cool with me, I get it. Just make sure its ALL parts of a ROMANTIC AND SEXSUAL relatioship. Or you my comrade will be flying those friendly skies and beating off into a sock. That ****y apartment you are complaining about is going to look a whole lot better with a girl walking around in her panties around it. And... a whole lot worse with porn on your laptop alone.
Frame up. Take what she is offering while it lasts. Believe she wants you just as bad.
ACT NOW!!!!
-Saline
