Originally posted by Lifeforce
I don't mean women are worthless for relationship, I mean they are worthless at the moment you meet them because you know nothing about them. If you get along well her value rises.
""I agree with what you are saying . That one should be willing to make mistakes and fail . That one should focus on himself , his life , passion and look at the big picture . This is where im sometimes stuck , you know when things aren't going your way , when you haven't dated , busy in studying , not getting the right results of working out , pressurizing yourself to have fun and enjoy . ""
Actually, that was pook talking, not me. It's so easy the search for the passion becomes "Hmm, what is my passion? I like to ski... haha, now I am skiing, this means I focus on my passion and is on my way to become a man."... You cannot pressure yourself to have fun, you either have fun or you don't.
I agree with this but to add ...Every now and then I need a bit of attitudinal adjustment . I tend to take things seriously at times and at this times ...it's not very easy to get back to the right mind-set of having fun , embracing the moment etc... that's why it seems like pressure is the way to go (i despise that) [/I]
Passion you experience with your heart not your mind. In fact, passion IMO is the abscence off the mind. Wheter it's skiing, painting, playing music. It's that feeling you get when you enjoy something so much you get a really strong feeling of satisfaction doing it, even if other people find it to be too much work.
But if you tend to focus on the same passion all the time , it starts to be boring ...You need to be going through alot of things to experience what makes you your heart jump in joy and ecstacy and this is sometimes a problem for me since im kinda lazy to seek to change habits all the time .
If you try to force yourself to have fun, your mind will be present and you will NEVER experience the passion. An example:
Lets take a look at the gym as you work out also. You see the guys who come in there and work their asses off and makes gains. Those who will never miss a workout for anything. They have passion, they enjoy the work off improving themselves. Even if they got the choice of getting a magic pill to make them feel this way they would never accept it, they would choose going to the gym because it's their passion.
You know these other people who work their biceps, train in machines and talk alot and who skips workout now and then. They don't have the passion, but they force themselves their because it makes them feel better, it fools them to think they live a good lifestyle and are better, even if they don't get any results. They hate the work, and if they didn't have to go to the gym to feel this way they wouldn't.
[I see your analogy and i don't seek a magic pill to make my life this or that ..It's just that at times my life is out of order ,a routine thing , That's why i come here reading alot posts in a trial to get back to the right-midset (pook posts , my old ones etc..not tips though )
I really like a song by death that's called empty words that fit perfectly into this post:
//
Through the winds of change
Words are blown away
When visions that should be
Are tattooed in your mind
The power to let go
Is sometimes hard to find
The answer cannot be found
In the writing of others
Or the words of a trained mind
//
The first two lines: You can read all the stuff you want but when you experience the thing it talks about all your thoughts on how it should be will be changed and your understanding.
I've experienced the thing many times and my problem is that I am not very patient and want to change many things in a short time . I actually tend to perfectionalize alot though i know that perfect is boring as an example ( if i hadn't gone out since long , I tend to perfectionalize the whole thing , where to go , what friends to pick alongside her friends (this hold me back at times) because in this country it's hard to go on dates one-on-one ...it makes you seem desperate ...it should be a group thing then one-on one . I think i need to go out a bit more and not perfectionalize since i have this fear that the whole outing will fail and the ppl (guys and girls) won't cope with each other or that we won't find many common things to talk about (not the right mindset) . so I come back here trying to read posts that focus on having fun , letting go , focusing on yourself , not the girls etc..
Next four lines: When you want yourself to be something it's so hard to stop thinking and just living. That's a big problem, it's a big difference on thinking about living a good life and actually living. The first one is faking, the other one is actually doign it. Stuff like making the women prove themselves and not feeling you need to be with someone all the time will come automaticly when you are ready for it. I was desperate for women all the time before now I am not because there are more women who want me and I can no longer be with everyone so I choose the ones I like and the more women who get interested more women will have to prove themselves. All this boils down to me being worth more.
What will not work is thinking "I have to be picky", "I have to be a man"... you haven't really changed at all then, you just cover up the thing you see as a problem.
Yeah but at times when things in your life isn't going well , this focus on the inner side , no tips , techniques seem a bit vague so i tend to read posts like t theory , secret of the jerk , krassus etc.. to aggravate the thought that this how a man shall live and continue on the path that i've chosen long time ago (having fun , passion , letting go , enjoying life , focusing on yourself etc...
Lást three lines: You cannot find an answer on how you want to be in any post, you have to discover this yourself and go for something that you really want with your heart, not your mind. It's scary to discover you do something for a completly different reason than you think, but you have to accept it. There will be no one judging you if you don't follow what is said here, do whatever you feel like doing with no bad concience. Because everyone is not alike and everyone cannot go for the same goal.
I live my life naturally , focusing on my world , not living in securities , having fun but there are somethings or let me say flaws that i find it hard to accept , in other words i have to give myself the right to be Human and fail and make mistakes , not worrying about how others will think of me when i do those mistakes.
For me women are pretty important to happiness. Well I can live without them for a while, but it feels really great to be with someone you really enjoy being with.
What motivates me is that I have more stuff that hold me up than just being good with women. If stuff are going bad with the girls things most likely will be going good somewhere else, because my goal is not to be good with women anymore, it's to be happy and that's just one part of my happiness. If I would base all my life around getting women and I got into a dry spell that would really suck. Sometimes alot goes wrong though and I start to doubt myself, I look at the alternatives. If I give up, I'll can see where that will lead, if I don't I can see where that lead. Most likely I suck it up and move on, then suddenly everything seems to start moving again.
