Screw women

[becker]

Man, this is so crazy, but I've come to the conclusion that the only way to get a woman is to not want a woman. I freakin' hate that, and it pisses me off to the point where I really don't want a woman at all.

I blame it on all the guys who are players who have screwed up women by totally hurting them and making them bitter, then the next guy has to deal with it. Now it has gotten to the point where you either get a girl before she has gone through all this crap and become jaded, or else you have to play the game just to get one.

Sorry, had to vent.

 

[TurboLover]

Tell us what happend to reach this conclusion.

 

[becker]

I think it's just a revelation I had dealing with this girl that I had an unbelievable chemistry with. We hit it off more than I ever did with a girl, and we were both into each other. Then, she just flipped out on me when I became more interested in her and showed it. Gave me the whole "I'm afraid", "I have issues", "It's not you, it's me", "we need to be friends" thing. Then, after trying to figure out what the heck was going on, she eventually said "I don't think I'm interested in you in that way, and we can be friends". I mean, this girl was someone I trusted and her heart and mind is so messed up that it ruins everything between us. We were pretty much able to tell each other anything. She was going through a divorce of course, so I guess this obviously played a role. I said fine, let's be friends, actually intending to be only friends with this girl, and she's not talking to me at all now.

At this point, I figure that if I can't get along with a girl like this, then it just isn't possible to get with any girl, because I just don't trust them anymore. It turns me off completely to women because of it, and I don't even want anything to do with them. It's crazy.

 

[Grey Fox]

Perhaps the fact that you believed you had great chemistry with this girl had blinded you as to what was really going on. Some girls are out going, some funny, some snobby, some refined, some trashy. Point is there are lots of women out there and they all screw around with guys in one way or another. Don't take it personal its just the way they are all wired.

-Grey Fox

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by becker
She was going through a divorce of course, so I guess this obviously played a role.

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover

lol

wtf were you thinking becker?

 

[Skweints]

I've noticed that girls you tend to get along with REALLY well initially usually tend to flake more, from my experiences. This is, I believe, because of the "too good to be true" factor. Of course she got scared, what if things went perfect for her, for once? She wouldn't know what to do! The only way to conquer that is to play it easy. I'm assuming you guys probably went a little too fast, especially since she was still getting over someone she was married to. Had that been me, I would've quit while I was ahead and gave her time to figure things out.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Skweints
I've noticed that girls you tend to get along with REALLY well initially usually tend to flake more, from my experiences. This is, I believe, because of the "too good to be true" factor. Of course she got scared, what if things went perfect for her, for once? She wouldn't know what to do! The only way to conquer that is to play it easy. I'm assuming you guys probably went a little too fast, especially since she was still getting over someone she was married to. Had that been me, I would've quit while I was ahead and gave her time to figure things out.

Thanks guys for the kick in the arse, but I got that already from the girl.

I think the problem was, I've never really had a lot of problems with women, especially ones with issues like this, nor have I been exposed to divorce, so I can only guess at how it affects someone. Sure, it can't be good, but the degree is uncertain for me. That's why I didn't really take it into consideration that it was a problem, especially by the way she acted.

However, Skweints, you really put it well here. I'm thinking that this may have happened. I'm going to have to give this a LOT of time. What is your experience in this? How do you have this insight?

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by becker
Man, this is so crazy, but I've come to the conclusion that the only way to get a woman is to not want a woman. I freakin' hate that, and it pisses me off to the point where I really don't want a woman at all.

I blame it on all the guys who are players who have screwed up women by totally hurting them and making them bitter, then the next guy has to deal with it. Now it has gotten to the point where you either get a girl before she has gone through all this crap and become jaded, or else you have to play the game just to get one.

Sorry, had to vent.

I blame AFCS more than any player.

 

[becker]

AFCs don't hurt women, players do, and then they get bitter and jaded, and end up not trusting guys. Granted, I do agree that you shouldn't be AFC either, but just a normal non-player, honest guy who doesn't kiss ass either can get screwed because she is so cautious, when she wouldn't be otherwise.

 

[OpenMind]

Stop looking for chemistry and start looking for a good woman. Chemistry is what women are supposed to look for, not men. I am not saying that there shouldn't be some kind of spark but if you notice some great chemistry with a woman that should be your sign to get the hell out of there and find another... Let the women have the feelings this way you wont have to worry about losing your balls over some short-lived chemistry bull****... just my 2 cents...

BTW... AFC's ruin women, not players..... they give women so much attention that they end up looking for guys that don't give them any attention at all.. if all guys were players than the AFC's would be in demand..

 

[Frankie]

Originally posted by becker

At this point, I figure that if I can't get along with a girl like this, then it just isn't possible to get with any girl, because I just don't trust them anymore. It turns me off completely to women because of it, and I don't even want anything to do with them. It's crazy.

You can make that decision if you want, but there's something you might want to consider. You say that you can't get any girl because you aren't able to get along with a girl like this. The implication is that she's some kind of ideal.

Well, she isn't. She's just some psycho divorcee who has so many issues that she makes Mr. Becker "I'm giving up on women" look like the straight man. She won't sleep with you, not because your game isn't 'tight' enough, but because she's a crazy-woman.

I've been through this same kind of situation before, and I want to share with you a story that REALLY inspired me. This one time, I met up with one of my old friends, who I wanted to hook up with. She's a smart girl, but she has a LOT of issues, some of which stem from being used by players. At 19 years old, she's been used up, and I lost a lot of interest in her by hearing her sob stories, but I gave it a go, since I didn't have anything to lose. I'm with you here, believe me.

So I got blown out of the water by this nutcase, so I go back to my hotel and start flipping through the TV channels. The Howard Stern Show was on, which I don't generally watch, but it was kind of interesting. One of the guests was Miss Howard Stern, who at one time participated in the World's Dumbest Stripper contest. This girl is borderline retarded, but watching her take **** from Howard Stern and his goons really opened my eyes. She's in her 20s, she's only been with one guy, and even though she's a stripper with a crappy life, she has more morals and confidence, and most of all less ISSUES than that smart girl from college.

Is that helpful at all?

 

[joecollapoppa]

becker, you want girls, then do as you said. stop wanting girls. If you avoid sex, sex will be all up in your zone.

 

[WorldTraveller]

I said fine, let's be friends, actually intending to be only friends with this girl, and she's not talking to me at all now.

99% of the time when a girl says "let's be friends" she doesn't mean it. She just wants to stop seeing you. Period.

However, she's making you a favor. You don't want to be friends with a girl you have feelings for. It's the quickest road to PAIN.

Overcome it. Live your life. There's always another one round the corner. Don't become a bitter resented dude because it won't take you anywhere. That's an AFC feeling.

Good luck.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by becker
get a girl before she has gone through all this crap and become jaded

Exactly.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Originally posted by Skweints
I've noticed that girls you tend to get along with REALLY well initially usually tend to flake more, from my experiences. This is, I believe, because of the "too good to be true" factor. Of course she got scared, what if things went perfect for her, for once? She wouldn't know what to do! The only way to conquer that is to play it easy. I'm assuming you guys probably went a little too fast, especially since she was still getting over someone she was married to. Had that been me, I would've quit while I was ahead and gave her time to figure things out.

Great post. For women, it seems to be a thin line between 'great chemistry' and the dreaded 'we're too similar', which in ******** means 'you are not giving me enough emotional turmoil'. 'Great chemistry' can sometimes become too dependable, too close, in fact, too good to be true, and women can't handle it, as they have to have drama in their lives. You need to be just that little bit withdrawn.

 

[decades]

don't get reeled in with your emotions UNTIL you know what you are dealing with and even then be very careful. IOW, make sure she is worth it. And that takes time. When we are young, we move to fast. We get "caught up" in the LOVE feelings. Those feelings are dangerous. Society and movies and TV and books want you to believe that those feelings are the END ALL, that that is what life is all about, getting those feelings for yourself. But those feelings are as dangerous for you as any other negative emotion. Think of a relationship as a partnership where you are each exchanging something of value. Have fun but don't get caught up in this she's the only one for me crap. Don't lose yourself. You went too fast and had no where to go but down.

mike

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by persistent exaction
Have fun but don't get caught up in this she's the only one for me crap. Don't lose yourself. You went too fast and had no where to go but down.

mike

If only I could turn back the clock 10 years and have someone give me this piece of advice I wouldn't have wasted 4 years and 7 years respectively on 2 girls that just plain weren't good enough for me.

Very good advice Mike, spot on the money.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Austin Allegro
Great post. For women, it seems to be a thin line between 'great chemistry' and the dreaded 'we're too similar', which in ******** means 'you are not giving me enough emotional turmoil'. 'Great chemistry' can sometimes become too dependable, too close, in fact, too good to be true, and women can't handle it, as they have to have drama in their lives. You need to be just that little bit withdrawn.

Interesting, Austin, what has been your personal experience with this? I'm curious, it makes sense, but I'd like to know real life experiences.

 

[rgeere]

I do, actually....