Hogwild said:
Lotus had a post that got me thinking. What do you think about breaking up with a girl yourself and not the other way(being dumped).? Im in a relationship where my girlfriend is low interest but is too scared to break up with me. The problem is I care, I can't stand the feeling of being with a cold girl who i care so much about, she does not show me affection. But I too don't want to initiate the break because I may regret it for the rest of my life!. I have been thinking what I should do, being that she is too scared to end it, she knows im a catch, but there is no fire for her part. I wanna not care but its hard to not care and still wonder about the relationship, there is nothing definitive! It seems we are both weary of ending up regretting initiating breakup. I asked for game tips to spark a revival?! here but most of that seems catered towards new relationships, we been 4 years together. I want to initiate it or say somethings gotta change but avoid ultimatums, I just dont wanna regret it later on.
My friend is having a similar experience as you. There's no intimacy between both of them. He claims he want to break up with her and has told her he wants out yet she won't accept it. She doesn't want to break up, lol. It's quite comedic and pathetic on both of their paths. Back to you.
"Four Noble Truths
1. Suffering exists
2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires
3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases
4. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path "
The problem with guys like you and my friend is that you are full or ego and self deceit. You know what needs to be done and this leads to # 2. I understand it's hard to let go when you've been in a lengthy relationship. Still I feel like you want to eat your cake and have it. Yes, when you break up with your girl. You will be the bad guy. Someone has to be the bad guy for the greater good. You are both cowards especially you the man. Who should be the one to take the stand to do what needs to be done. When you do what needs to be done you will experience # 3 above. Sure you will be gutted for the first week and that's ok. I've been there. I've cried in my car while driving. Trust me it gets better with time.
By the way how old are you both? Do you genuinely love her and want to be with her then I would suggest you start doing all those things you are supposed to do when you first start dating a chick. This site is full of such advice. One thing that might help is for you to tell her you want to take a break for a week or two. This should help you clear your mind. Between now and then you can decide to break up with her. When you do you need to go to her place do it swiftly and leave then delete that # and go no contact. Now if after the 2 weeks you genuinely feel you both want to be together. Then you can trying dating again as if it's a new relationship. You want to do things differently this time. I get the sense you guys didn't have much life outside of each other and then you got bored and didn't do things to keep it fresh. If you are both really young. It's just best to suck it up break up and go discover yourselves and the world. There will be other people out there for you to love. This is planet earth with a billion people.
Be brave break up! It's a part of life. You will feel so much better.
Cheers
Brrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaakkkkk UPpppppp........
