Scarcity

[Von]

How do you know your in scarcity mode?

How you know you getting either introverted or really in ''need''?

Me I feel is when I start being shy with approaching girls or my heart pump alot lol. happened twice yesterday... both 10hb, I did a move but the entire time I felt beta

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Not many people like Roosh and Return of Kings. Like anyone else, I don't agree with everything he says, nor his outlook on certain things. But he makes a lot of theoretical sense on a good few subjects.

Here's the thing, you're going after 10's, which is as admirable as it is unsurprising; I have a new rule that I will not even be considering anything below an 8 moving forward (which generally I rarely do anyway, but we all slip up now and then).

https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-57720.html

What he says here, is a harsh reality we all have to face:

"Remember, if that perfect ten you approached doesn’t think you’re good enough for her then chances are she’s probably right."

For me, the same thing goes for ourselves. If you are feeling scarcity, or inadequate in yourself, especially when you approaching women, you're probably right as well. Essentially, you are in completely the wrong frame of mind becasue subconsciously, you don't think you deserve this woman, for whatever reason. This will be portrayed in your general body language and dealings with other people.

It might be something as simple as being over-tired and all you lack is a decent night's sleep.

But most of the time, as Roosh says, most guys are entirely over-estimating their own value. That's nothing personal; and not to say you can't become a 10/10 and attract a 10/10. What it comes back to is the age old philosophy - increase your own value to attract higher value women.

It takes guts and a fair amount of introspection to be so honest with oneself. The things is, once we pull a 9 or a 10, we think we can pull them all - simply not the case. I know I've certainly over-estimated my own value before.

Personal value involves a lifetime of improvement and maintenance.

 

[CMNILS87]

If you're talking to a girl and you hang on every word she says and have to think about replying to not make her mad or withdraw is a scarcity mindset.

Same as a really good job scarcity mindset. You have a great job, you do everything perfect, walk on eggshells to not piss anyone off at work. It's all mindset. You're putting the job in front of you.

"I have a great job and I'm lucky to have it and I'll do my best".

Versus "I work my ass off, I love my job, and those ****ers are luck to have me". "I value myself enough that if I'm unhappy I'll walk away and find another job right down the road that's even better".

Which scenario do you like more???

 

[Poon King]

How do you know your in scarcity mode?

How you know you getting either introverted or really in ''need''?

Me I feel is when I start being shy with approaching girls or my heart pump alot lol. happened twice yesterday... both 10hb, I did a move but the entire time I felt beta

Whenever you're not spinning plates.

You will always feel more confident and masculine when you have many women available to you. This is why.. even when you're "in a relationship" you should still have female friends and booty calls.

 

[Von]

I've been extremily emotionaly tired these days... death of my 2nd mom (aunt who raised me), handling my family, work and trying to keep the shape (didn't dance or gym for 2 weeks... i mean wtf), work, dropping plates, overdrinking (went from 1 glass a week to 2 a day)

Also, I have exams coming at the end of the month that will decide my futur (if I don't pass them, I'll be looking for a new career cause they mandatory to practice).

So, I am probably... wanting to get at them but the emotional drainage is affecting me and making me behave in scarcity mode. I open, behave beta, eject lol.

Love what you guys wrote here. I wanted you guys outlook into this too. We share a same mind for that

There is much more important than the female, but it's important in every interaction to be on top and create a valuable interaction (with male and female).... I believe scarcity kills it

 

[CMNILS87]

I've been extremily emotionaly tired these days... death of my 2nd mom (aunt who raised me), handling my family, work and trying to keep the shape (didn't dance or gym for 2 weeks... i mean wtf), work, dropping plates, overdrinking (went from 1 glass a week to 2 a day)

Also, I have exams coming at the end of the month that will decide my futur (if I don't pass them, I'll be looking for a new career cause they mandatory to practice).

So, I am probably... wanting to get at them but the emotional drainage is affecting me and making me behave in scarcity mode. I open, behave beta, eject lol.

Love what you guys wrote here. I wanted you guys outlook into this too. We share a same mind for that

There is much more important than the female, but it's important in every interaction to be on top and create a valuable interaction (with male and female).... I believe scarcity kills it

Take care of yourself first. Exams, emotional health, family, and hobbies come before women. If your dating is taking up too much of any of these, put women on the back burner

 

[Yewki]

happened twice yesterday... both 10hb

Scarcity leads to pedestalization, which leads to over valuing girls, thinking they're special, getting nervous, freaking out, etc

I don't know of or even seen a girl that I would give a 10. There is one 9 and she's a celebrity. Everyone else is 8 or lower

You met two 10s the other day

Lol

 

[guru1000]

How do you know your in scarcity mode?

How you know you getting either introverted or really in ''need''?

Me I feel is when I start being shy with approaching girls or my heart pump alot lol. happened twice yesterday... both 10hb, I did a move but the entire time I felt beta

A DJ will NEXT a girl for any action that she initiates that lacks FULL deference to him. When you feel hesitancy to NEXT, then you are in a scarcity mindset.

 

[ubercat]

If it helps when you are interacting with beautiful women remember that looks really don't last long. I was watching a movie with Gwyneth Paltrow last night. Few years ago used to think she was really hot now I wouldn't bother crossing the road.

 

[Von]

So thought to update this:

I got booty called once in the month... my neighbour.

I've meet a Turkish girl in a coffee, we had actually meet before at a party... so it was easy to close number her. It's been my only dating, don't feel like talking to girls or escalating much. You'll see in my turkish report

We went out 3 times with Turk:

1) Time she got late, we had drinks, drop her home... she's living in front of my building .... Got laugh, closed another date

2) The 2nd time, we got in a boat club, we laugh, I got hit on so much by the gays owner of the bar, she laugh and during the date she said she had 3 LTR and all of them were popular with gays lol, and that dating for Turkish was just hanging around until we become GF/BF.. Date ended: she rubbed her breast on me while cheek kiss.

Felt that she got more comfortable but she's resisting kino in public.... my experience is that Turkish are really not into kino in public... even married couples do cheek-kiss

2 dates in 2-3 weeks.

Jump 2 weeks: I invite her to a concert while saying I had to go study after the concert: I had bought 2 tickets, since I am part of the philanthropic group... I get great seats for no $$. She instantly said yes. Like 1 minute to reply texto. (Her answer: Perfect timing, thank you, look forward to it)

3) She did most of the talking (her school, her job, the issues, visiting dad, I exposed her to my really good terrible jokes, she got confortable me touching her shoulders, getting closer while sitting... but after a while sitting at places she would take a distance (put her ass further lol) ... The concert was amazing, we both had that music in common, she was inviting me to drag the ''date'' longer (lets do this and that... I eventually had to close it for the day.)... she made cute sounds and showed me her love for dogs in the phone. Anyway.... these show comforts. I tried to take her hand while walking.... she rejected it and put her bag... but her behaviour never changed (showed the cute, lets do this and that), sometimes she would walk closer and pump in me).

I didn't push more for escalation...

Why Scarcity here? Well, I feel I am in a scarcity mode... that girl is interesting, classy, look forward to see her.... However, I am putting her on a pedestal.... I don't know where its going, I want more but not expecting much... more importantly: I don't feel having more dates with other girls (or hit on them) .... I believe its' this is due to my business and examns taking all the energy

I don't feel like calling my plate who's DTF.

So Scarcity: 1) This Turkish girl no idea where its going but she's interested in hanging out (she offered to pay etc...) ... I am taking a slow escalation approach 2) Don't feel like asking other girls or meeting my plate 3) My head is entirely on the business/studying 9 hours a day.... 4) Every time a girl or someone approach I start being shy.

My source to get out: 1) Keep inviting Turkish girl when conveniant 2) Or replace her with friends 3) Focus on my health and business and go monk mode 4) Just let life find me another date

 

[Who Dares Win]

So thought to update this:

I got booty called once in the month... my neighbour.

I've meet a Turkish girl in a coffee, we had actually meet before at a party... so it was easy to close number her. It's been my only dating, don't feel like talking to girls or escalating much. You'll see in my turkish report

We went out 3 times with Turk:

1) Time she got late, we had drinks, drop her home... she's living in front of my building .... Got laugh, closed another date

2) The 2nd time, we got in a boat club, we laugh, I got hit on so much by the gays owner of the bar, she laugh and during the date she said she had 3 LTR and all of them were popular with gays lol, and that dating for Turkish was just hanging around until we become GF/BF.. Date ended: she rubbed her breast on me while cheek kiss.

Felt that she got more comfortable but she's resisting kino in public.... my experience is that Turkish are really not into kino in public... even married couples do cheek-kiss

2 dates in 2-3 weeks.

Jump 2 weeks: I invite her to a concert while saying I had to go study after the concert: I had bought 2 tickets, since I am part of the philanthropic group... I get great seats for no $$. She instantly said yes. Like 1 minute to reply texto. (Her answer: Perfect timing, thank you, look forward to it)

3) She did most of the talking (her school, her job, the issues, visiting dad, I exposed her to my really good terrible jokes, she got confortable me touching her shoulders, getting closer while sitting... but after a while sitting at places she would take a distance (put her ass further lol) ... The concert was amazing, we both had that music in common, she was inviting me to drag the ''date'' longer (lets do this and that... I eventually had to close it for the day.)... she made cute sounds and showed me her love for dogs in the phone. Anyway.... these show comforts. I tried to take her hand while walking.... she rejected it and put her bag... but her behaviour never changed (showed the cute, lets do this and that), sometimes she would walk closer and pump in me).

I didn't push more for escalation...

Why Scarcity here? Well, I feel I am in a scarcity mode... that girl is interesting, classy, look forward to see her.... However, I am putting her on a pedestal.... I don't know where its going, I want more but not expecting much... more importantly: I don't feel having more dates with other girls (or hit on them) .... I believe its' this is due to my business and examns taking all the energy

I don't feel like calling my plate who's DTF.

So Scarcity: 1) This Turkish girl no idea where its going but she's interested in hanging out (she offered to pay etc...) ... I am taking a slow escalation approach 2) Don't feel like asking other girls or meeting my plate 3) My head is entirely on the business/studying 9 hours a day.... 4) Every time a girl or someone approach I start being shy.

My source to get out: 1) Keep inviting Turkish girl when conveniant 2) Or replace her with friends 3) Focus on my health and business and go monk mode 4) Just let life find me another date

First of all there is nothing wrong in making mistakes or being in the wrong mindframe at some point as long as you learn from that.

Now personally I believe the problem here is that you wrote half a page about a girl that doesnt even add much to your life except frustration and damages to your well being and self esteeem.

Again nothing wrong with that, we all did at some point of our life.

What I suggest you to do is to stop rewarding her with your attention and care while she doesnt even bother to hold your c0ck in her hand, thats the minimum nowadays.

Drop this girl and follow poons king advince, spin plates (I know easy to say hard to do, its the same for me) or try to get some inf you dont have any.

Improve yourself and fix your stuff, you will be less stressed and more confident once you have your sh1t togheter, the turkish girl is not the goal, right now she is just a symptom of the global problem.

 

[Von]

First of all there is nothing wrong in making mistakes or being in the wrong mindframe at some point as long as you learn from that.

Now personally I believe the problem here is that you wrote half a page about a girl that doesnt even add much to your life except frustration and damages to your well being and self esteeem.

Again nothing wrong with that, we all did at some point of our life.

What I suggest you to do is to stop rewarding her with your attention and care while she doesnt even bother to hold your c0ck in her hand, thats the minimum nowadays.

Drop this girl and follow poons king advince, spin plates (I know easy to say hard to do, its the same for me) or try to get some inf you dont have any.

Improve yourself and fix your stuff, you will be less stressed and more confident once you have your sh1t togheter, the turkish girl is not the goal, right now she is just a symptom of the global problem.

Aahah you are right.... I write too much... I don't think she add frustration.... just unknown (maybe I wrote it wrong but it is frustration if I don't feel in the clear and I dont know where its going or how I feel about it to go).... and yes, I did chat with her a bit more... a friend style more than anything.... Am I lost right now? I think so in terms of the Girl/Lady, didnt go dance or gym in 1 week due to work (been working 12 hours + studies mostly at night)...... that's not helping the blood.

You are right... I should drop the social (girls who don't add up) and focus on my studies... which should be done in 1 year, has I work 80 hours a week + gym and dance. Once the studies are done, my life will feel free.... going out on dates will seem more natural.

I already booked and bought the tickets for all the event I am going until June 2017 (so plan, some are doubles: I will invite people of value there)

 

[MrWood]

your Turk girl has a boyfriend or a regular FB
she doesnt like him but stay with him because he "cares" but is super jealous, blablah

this is why you are being rejected in public Sir.

 

[Von]

your Turk girl has a boyfriend or a regular FB
she doesnt like him but stay with him because he "cares" but is super jealous, blablah

this is why you are being rejected in public Sir.

Probable.... It's just I am used to seeing Turks being soo ... unemotional in public / Conservative... even with married couples. I think I am letting my ''scarcity'' overanalyze for me.

Last time was convenient, didn't want to be alone, wanted it short, she lives in front

What Scarcity brings:

1) Lack of options, Oneitis, overanalizing

2) Weird feelings

Is it good? No... cause you disbalance your frame

 

[Reykhel]

How do you know your in scarcity mode?

How you know you getting either introverted or really in ''need''?

Me I feel is when I start being shy with approaching girls or my heart pump alot lol. happened twice yesterday... both 10hb, I did a move but the entire time I felt beta

This is a very easy question.

To know abundance , you have to truly experience abundance. Abundance cannot be explained to you on an internet website.

How can I explain to you what an apple tastes like. I can't. You, have to experience how it tastes. Not only that, you must be able to
explain how it tastes.

If you can teach what abundance means, then you know you have experienced it......

Yes, someone else mentioned spinning plates, and it's correct, if you really want the abundance mentality, you must at one time in
your life, experience what it means to....spin plates

 

[Von]

It's okay to 'overavalize', as long as this analysis centers on you - instead of the girl.

Be self-absorbed.

The Turkish girl was probably fobbing you off. I have dated a number of nationalities (got a number of 'flags' as it were), and it's the same game each time. Women are women, no matter where they are from. The problem was in your own escalation - which honestly sounds non-existent.

With this attitude, you are filtering for girls that are very high-interest. Most women will expect you to be better.

You are also leaving yourself vulnerable to time-wasters.



Treat her like practice. Each is merely practice for the next.

That girl will just be a memory in a few years time.

You are important here, not her. Focus on yourself, and you won't go far wrong.

Escalate.

Got a booty call tonight, turned her down.... I am just not in the mood I guess too much important stuff coming in the next 2 weeks busines wise.

I'll focus on my self and see what happens.

Getting date and getting laid is soo easy... just the feeling is absent and i've isolated myself from social life due to career deadline.

But I had my fun with the turks... she's not for me in the long run anyway (smokers are off my list of acceptable)

 

[corrector]

How do you know your in scarcity mode?

How you know you getting either introverted or really in ''need''?

Me I feel is when I start being shy with approaching girls or my heart pump alot lol. happened twice yesterday... both 10hb, I did a move but the entire time I felt beta

Are you also an incel?

 

[resilient]

I'll focus on my self and see what happens.

Good to put your self first.

I've isolated myself from social life due to career deadline.

Socializing will you keep your stress (cortisol) levels in check, even if you're not necessarily spinning plates. Studying, exams and career transitions are stressful, yet should always come first. I'm in the middle of all that now too.

Keep exercising daily even if you only have 5-10-15 mins to keep stress/anxiety at bay. You might want to read up about muscle atrophy. You can keep it simple with small goals like planks, sit ups, push ups or a walk around the block.

I've made progress doing a 25 minute dvd HIIT workout series daily for two months and soon to go onto three. I dropped 8-10 pounds, 8% bf. I can tell the difference in my BMI, endurance, agility, speed, and general social confidence levels.

Anyway... can't recommend enough getting in some kind of exercise if any... GL!

 

[RedBear]

How can I explain to you what an apple tastes like. I can't. You, have to experience how it tastes. Not only that, you must be able to
explain how it tastes.

If you can teach what abundance means, then you know you have experienced it......

Mmm maybe you want to reformulate this... it sounds and looks like a paradox.

 

[Von]

So I passed 1 of the license, got laid 3 times since last post (1 plate, 1 girl from a different office at my work convention)

There is only 1 more license to go ... giving myself around 1 year to finish it. That license is 8 exams, 6 modules for each chapter (500 pages) - They touch: Finance, Law, Fiscality etc... than 3 months of class... the final exam given only twice a year.

That license is mandatory in a few years for my profession to be able to exercise and its also one of the requirement to fully take over my family business.

Plate: I got one, she calls me more than I call her (actually I never call) .... she's my neighbor, few days ago saw a guy knock on her door, the knock was soo strong I jumped while entering my place. The guy is irrelevant but just funny situation. I've been distancing myself from her. I don't like to see a woman more than twice, we already had sex 3 times.

Health: Started Yoga and pilates (saturday-sunday morning), still go to the gym 3 times for bodybuilding and 3 times for cardio-run (odd-non workout day) ... so I am at the gym at least 1hour to 2 hours every day. I've been told I look more relax and focused.

Dating: No dates in line, dropped pretty much all of it

Scarcity: I've been having I believe this ''scarcity feelings of loneliness and solitude''... I don’t have many friends (all my close friends are in relationships so it doesn’t help but I am happy for them) phone doesn’t ring or text for 1 week unless its work. It actually never bothered me until in recent memory last week (even when I broke up with my 5 years LTR, I was fine), got moment of loneliness even if I always have something going on (dance, gym, social jetset, studies, work, exams). I was like... ''yes but you’re still doing this alone and no one is calling. I've don’t meet much women outside of work... my Lay count is around 2 different girls per month since I am single (1.5 years ago)

Frame: My frame been always a challenge, I am someone who might you call ''fear of commitment or trust issues'' but I also want everything lol. So it's might be sometimes all over the place and I was told for decades I send mix-signals. It's been 5 years I didn’t get the ‘’your sending mix signals’’, although some girls stopped talking to me altogether, but now I am more grounded and confident. There is no desire real for me to meet women (i am never horny, only get its when the sex is happening or I know the girl wants me and than I Lay close), even if I find them beautiful, not shy at all... but sometimes their energy not there but the mind is. To improve my frame: I tell myself to be calm, focus 1 think at a time, speak slower but more articulate, just go with the flow... ''if you have the feeling of not wanting to do it that means its good for you and will work''. Some days I have all the energy in the world, some other days I can barely move or be efficient (chronic tiredness or depression?). The earlier I go to bed the more I sleep lol (always wake up at the same time, no matter what)

Never been more in shape, goals are well-defined, the process are too... actions towards them are happening sometimes they take a small curve. The only thing that really matter is getting that last license. After that, i'll be free for night-day games, my business will be safe to grow. Hence, conquering that social life scarcity (dating, friendships).

Thanks for reading. These are what happened/feel since last post

All progress is good, still in scarcity mode but my mind focused on my business goals and personal shape so make me more ''grounded'.

For the ladies: I'll approach when I feel like it, in the areas I hang around for gym/study/dance... and ask them out on my schedule terms