saying i love you

[d9930380]

Zerotwoonenine - Take the blinkers off, I hate to admit it but Last Man Standing is right although VERY blunt. Unless you are married don't assume she's anything much more than a friend and **** buddy waiting for someone better to come along. It's only when we accept we can't get better or are have run out of time (biological clock) is when we decide to marry unless you're stupid and get married early. As for love, it's crap, you always love the one you're with. There is no such thing as soul-mates, how many times have you heard that and then they have broken up later down the line and end up falling in love with another soul-mate . Even a girl saying "I love you" constently is just her emotionally blackmailing you so that you aren't un-faithful when you are apart. Only blood relatives and people who have earned it by their actions over a long period would I consider that I love. With these people I've never needed to say "I love you" because they know by my actions. Some girl I hardly know, hell no! Girls say I love you before they're even going out with you just so when they make a move you won't reject them because you know it will hurt her feelings more - Girls are really just a bunch of AFCs although it works on us because we like sweetness and nice and don't want to upset girls.

 

[d9930380]

It's not about showing emotions. It's about having them. By all means say I love you if you want, just don't believe that you or her mean it because if you do before she has earned it then you can get seriously hurt.

 

[Raikojo17]

Zerotwoonenine - Take the blinkers off, I hate to admit it but Last Man Standing is right although VERY blunt. Unless you are married don't assume she's anything much more than a friend and **** buddy waiting for someone better to come along. It's only when we accept we can't get better or are have run out of time (biological clock) is when we decide to marry unless you're stupid and get married early. As for love, it's crap, you always love the one you're with. There is no such thing as soul-mates, how many times have you heard that and then they have broken up later down the line and end up falling in love with another soul-mate . Even a girl saying "I love you" constently is just her emotionally blackmailing you so that you aren't un-faithful when you are apart. Only blood relatives and people who have earned it by their actions over a long period would I consider that I love. With these people I've never needed to say "I love you" because they know by my actions. Some girl I hardly know, hell no! Girls say I love you before they're even going out with you just so when they make a move you won't reject them because you know it will hurt her feelings more - Girls are really just a bunch of AFCs although it works on us because we like sweetness and nice and don't want to upset girls.

who says u cant love more than one girl? Love is not and ends but a means to an end

 

[d9930380]

Raikojo17 - True for some people I suppose although I don't think that way so for me it means a monogamous relationship.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Zerotwoonenine - I hate to admit it but Last Man Standing is right although VERY blunt. .

Never hate to admit to the truth - the truth is your friend! The truth is blunt, so it must be stated bluntly!

Some girl I hardly know, hell no! Girls say I love you before they're even going out with you just so when they make a move you won't reject them because you know it will hurt her feelings more - Girls are really just a bunch of AFCs although it works on us because we like sweetness and nice and don't want to upset girls.

This is why they say it - it has nothing to do with feelings (not always the case, obviously) - it is a mind game - hors play with your head and emotions kids - but pimps don't play along - we are the master of hors as we are the leader of our wife and family!!

 

[the_azn_fu]

its just that after saying it sooo many times, its special meaning begins to wear off you know? any suggestions of how NOT to say it when she initiates?

 

[d9930380]

It has no special meaning. I've heard it a million times normally from girls that are trying to play me, sometimes from girls that just want to get with me but know I don't really like them.

Girls aren't the romantic princesses you think they are, they are much more practical and great at manipulation. If a girl says it then just say "Prove it, Don't say it".

I'm not saying that girls don't love, just that you have to protect yourself from being fooled by the ones who are playing you.

 

[lougv22]

It has no special meaning. I've heard it a million times normally from girls that are trying to play me, sometimes from girls that just want to get with me but know I don't really like them.

Girls aren't the romantic princesses you think they are, they are much more practical and great at manipulation. If a girl says it then just say "Prove it, Don't say it".

I'm not saying that girls don't love, just that you have to protect yourself from being fooled by the ones who are playing you.

I agree with some of the things you said and disagree with others. First of all, I disagree about it not having a special meaning. It has a special meaning if the one saying it truly loves whoever they are saying it to and if they don't say it too much. There is a couple I know and they truly love each other but they say 'I love you' entirely too much, meaning several times a day. Those three words are really meant to be special as they express the highest feeling one human being can have for another. If you say it too much it loses its meaning.

I agree 100% with your last sentence. That really sums it all up. There are girls who will say it to you when they don't mean it just to get something from you they want, i.e. money, power, a stroke for their ego, etc. If you love a girl don't say that to her until you are absolutely, 100% sure she feels the same way about you, otherwise you will probably get burned.

Many women grow-up with the fairy tale idea in their head that one day their prince charming will come along and sweep them off their feet, and they live for the day when he will utter those 3 words to them. They love the suspense, the drama, the anticipation, the build-up to that special moment. So if you time it right it will have the desired effect and I think it's ok to say it first, but again, only if you know beyond a reasonable doubt she feels the same way about you. In other words, don't give it to them until they've earned it. If you do it too soon or at the wrong time you will screw the relationship up big time.

I made the mistake of saying it to the girl I love too soon and ended up driving her away. After that we grew apart big time and now she is not talking to me.

 

[the_azn_fu]

thanks for all the replies
however, i still dont understand what i should say.

this is probably how things would go...

her: i love you
him: okay, bye
her: you don't love me?


then what?

 

[azanon]

Unless you're in some kind of serious, post-sex relationship that's well established, i'd recommend finding something else to say. Its a great way to give away a lot of power really quick.