Saw my exgirlfriend with another man tonight.

[RedPill]

Rutgersman, you have a choice. I will make that choice as clear as humanly possible for you:

Option 1) Stop arguing with the guys here. Concede that you honestly don't know sh!t about women, dating, and relationships. Show some humility. Then, start learning. Do a ton of reading here. Your pride and ego is what's holding you back. The guys here are not making any value judgments or personal attacks against you. We all used to be you at one point in time - average and FRUSTRATED.

Option 2) Get the fvck off this site. Go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and keep doing what you're doing, because obviously it's working for you.

 

[DJDamage]

You sound like the guy in this AFC song! Stop thinking you are the victim and being helpless, MANUP!! you will get over it.

(WARNING AFC SONG AHEAD!! LISTEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fEjvLFa980&search=your beautiful james blunt

:kick:

 

[WestCoaster]

The prefix EX really shoots off a red flag in my book. Why? Because I know a couple things:

1. The guy is desparately trying to get the EX back.

2. The EX is playing him like a fiddle.

3. The EX really doesn't want to get back.

4. (This should be No. 1) It's time to move on and see other women, there are plenty of them.

I don't speak for any but myself on this board, but I've been there. That's why I post here, because I think my prolonged AFC life was a state of misery, even if I didn't know it. I might as well have put my nuts in a jar and handed it women when I was dating them. It was sick. What's sicker is most men (I use that term loosley) now just hand their nads over to women, including 99 percent of my married friends. They don't have lives, they live in a daily emotional prison.

TWICE I foolishly got back together with ex-girlfriends, TWICE it was wrong.

Why? In each relationship the woman had the upper hand, she knew if she dissed me, cheated on me (yep, took one back after that ... amazinginly stupid AFC), and disrespected me, she'd always have me back because I was a chump.

If you get back with an EX, the relationship becomes one where the woman ALWAYS has the upper hand and don't you ever think otherwise. You've handed over your nads to the woman, plain and simple.

Always best to move on from a breakup and to someone new just for the sake of your own masculinity and dignity.

Trust me on this, I'm not pulling this out of my a$$ ... I'm speaking from experience.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

DAMAGE, that song is the reason I bought noise cancelling earphones for the gym. The fact that this song is on the Billboard top 10 is a testament to just how deeply in trouble society is.

Excuse me now while I purge my head of that song with some Slipknot,...

 

[KarmaSutra]

Excuse me now while I purge my head of that song with some Slipknot,...

Rollo my man, You may want to toss some Tool on the ol' IPOD when hitting the weights. Makes me want to blast myself to oblivion.

 

[DJDamage]

DAMAGE, that song is the reason I bought noise cancelling earphones for the gym. The fact that this song is on the Billboard top 10 is a testament to just how deeply in trouble society is.

There is no escaping that song, its brainwashing at its best. I am just glad that I am now able to recognise and avoid this kind of music that causes men to feel unworthy and depressed because of their oneitis.

Rollo my man, You may want to toss some Tool on the ol' IPOD when hitting the weights. Makes me want to blast myself to oblivion.

Also listen to White Zombie "More Human than Human" You know its a song for a Man when the first 15 seconds of it, is the sound of a woman having an orgasm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewFRAzaDUyY&search=white zombie

 

[Desdinova]

NEXTING her didnt work.

NEXTing is when you no longer consider the woman in question as a prospect. It doesn't mean she steps on a landmine and you never have to see her again.

She was constantly toying with me..AFTER she left me! I ignored her stupid phone calls telling me she knew of a "wine tasting event...go to it and enjoy because I know you like that sort of thing." I would never call an exgirlfriend up and tell her about an event that we used to enjoy together. Thats stupid. Then she would call me and tell me she was in the area and wanted to see if I was working--then she would blow me off!

To you, this is toying. To women, it's normal. Read the linked post in my sig under the subheading "When Women Want You Back". Perhaps you'll be able to make some sense out of it.

 

[rutgersman]

I agree rotollassi--its time for me to get a handle on things..

Its tough. Its hell knowing she is fvking this fat slob right now.....i still just cant beelive it....i mean we had major chemistry and she was in love with me...then she just pulls the cord on me after a stupid argument. When i saw her that night with that guy...man i just couldnt beleive...I wanted to slug her. i felt anger and jealousy inside of me because this girl had sex with me only a few months ago and talking seriously with me...and now she is with another guy. I felt so close to her. I admit this has fvked me up. I will have scars from this. Bitterness. Now when i see her in the bars kissing and hugging all over this guy....knowing they will go home and make love....its just too much to withstand. I want to harm her for the damage she has caused me but I cannot.

I have tryed moving on and going out to date other women and........i just feel empty inside.

I think when i see her making out with him....i will just buy them both a beer and tell them both to get a hotel room and laugh my ass off as im walking away......but then get in my car and feel intense jealousy knowing some other guy is going home to fvck my girl. Its kills me inside. I feel rage.

Steve.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Your emotions are normal and expected. Many guys have been through the same thing. But there are too many women out there to get hung up on just one.

 

[Latinoman]

Being a don juan is overated. I want to share my emotions with someone i love and am attracted to.

The key word in here is "share". Share that emotions with somebody that is reciprocating you with the same emotions. She is not. She in fact dumped you.

YOu dont know waht she is thinking: she may feel sorry for me, or she may hate me, or is jealous of me, or may think im a stalker,...she has accused me of being a player..so maybe this is all the grief i caused her.

Nahhh...she is currently sucking and phucking ANOTHER man. While you still whining and crying. Here is the thing...I'm willing to bet that your "feelings" are more due to the fact that she is currently sleeping with another man...and dumping you.

She hates me for sleeping around with other women, etc. So you have no idea. I always have other photos of other women and she has seen me with other women---so u dont know how she feels. she isnt contacting me so obviously she doesnt like me. ----which stems from hate or indifference. thats the only two rational explanations.

Maybe...but women very rarely act "rational". So, you might be wasting your time. Furthermore...one thing we know for a FACT: she is sucking and phucking ANOTHER man. And she dumped you.

How can you form opinions of a girls state of mind..without asking her? Only her best friend knows this.

I'm willing to bet that what her best friend knows might not really be how your girlfriend feels for you. Sometimes, women put a face so society (and girlfriends) can validate them.

You have a LOT to learn.

 

[WestCoaster]

Great post Latinoman, as always you're spot on. One thing all guys -- including me until I discovered this board, and I still blow this now and then -- is trying to figure out women. Why did they do this? Why did they do that? I bet they're thinking this and so on.

I've said it a dozen times and I'll say it again:

Women will dump you because they had a bad hair day. Women will dump you because they had a good hair day. Women will dump you because their emotions told them to do so at the moment -- whether it was right or wrong. Women will dump you just because. They don't act rationally. They act emotionally and for the moment.

The 1 percent of women out there who are thinking about their education, futures, and the RIGHT guy are extremely hard to find.

Meanwhile, quit trying to figure out women.

 

[Latinoman]

None of my DJ mindset (for lack of a better term) has "gone out the window" after 10 years, it's only become more refined and I understand why it's necessary now.

And my STRONGEST suggestion is that you NEVER let them go away at all. I was married for a long time...and it work perfectly for me. To the point that if I wanted to go back (I left)...she will take me back in a heart bit. That's how much respect and love my ex had for me. When I left my home...I had 4-5 (maybe more) girls within 30 days already giving me (without me asking) their digits. I mean, they didn't know about my personal life...I simply put met them and put myself in a situation for them to offer their digits. All of them very good looking women (two as young as early 20s).

Of course, I have some things I need to focus 100% (including my two kids and my job), so I had to made a decision. I strongly believe that a man can go far in life if he has the right woman (something that is mentioned in Scarface and I agree with it). Because of my professional status, I had to pick a woman taking that into consideration too.

I also learned from others experiences. Even older men than me (I'm in my upper 30s). One of my buddies that is in his 40s and was going through similar situation is now getting puzzy whipped. So, I had to make sure that crap didn't happen to me.

 

[Latinoman]

It doesn't make you self-righteous, it only makes you a pvssy. If you can't control your emotions, how different are you from an average woman? If you can't be secure in yourself, how can you offer security to a potential LTR? How do you instill this in the children you may have one day?

Comes down to that. I agree 100%.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Alright I have a new take on this and it goes back to my Jelousy thread. I think half the battle of controling an emotional response is consciously recognizing that it is taking place. Children (of both sexes) cannot help but react emotionally to external stimulus. They do this because they have no prior experience with that stimulus to associate a response to. In addition, they have an underdeveloped capacity for abstract thought and therefore an emotional response is almost a given. But as we mature and experience things, we understand what is happening (because it's happened to us prior) and we can better react and prepare responses for them accordingly.

When a person first experiences jealousy this triggers a complex chain of hormonal and emotional imbalances. True jealousy rarely occurs before puberty so there is no prior experience to prepare an individual for it. It also happens so rarely that we don't consider it an issue to consider until we're in the middle of experiencing it. This is further complicated by an immature, but developing capacity for abstract thought, as well as the fact that jealousy is an in-born, innate biological response that has served our species well for millenia. Needless to say this severly limits rational thought processes and the ability to form appropriate behaviors based on them. Now lets further complicate the situation with the same chemical ****tail and the emotional responses associated with sexual relations and you can see where this is going.

RUTGERS, it's my theory that what you're experiencing are withdrawl symptoms from an addiction. Studies have shown that the chemical/hormonal signatures that naturally occur in the human body while one is experiencing love are virtually identical to the euphoric properties of heroin. The reason you pine over this girl, the reason that rubbing her nose in it (so to speak), the reason seeing her with another guy or the idea of buying her a room to go fvck in provokes such an intense emotional response from you is because it re-triggers that same hormonal charge you got from it the first time and you're seeking ways to re-stimulate that rush. You've yet to develop the cognitive capacity to deal with the associations of this rush because you have few or no prior experiences with this jealousy/betrayal dynamic, so you think of it in the only terms that have been available to you up to now - that which media/culture has conditioned you to take at face value. Therefore you have this Shakespearean sense of betrayal.

 

[MacAvoy]

Of course, I have some things I need to focus 100% (including my two kids and my job), so I had to made a decision. I strongly believe that a man can go far in life if he has the right woman (something that is mentioned in Scarface and I agree with it).

Latinoman - would you mind explaining your reference to Scarface to me. I think Tony is an alpha male in alot of aspects but when it comes to his women, he doesn't seem to act totally DJ in my eyes.

I agree with your notion that a man can go far in life witht he right women. I would also side with the DJ's on the board who would state that you shouldn't need a women in your life to go far. I don't recall any reference to this in scarface though.

 

[rutgersman]

latino you are so far off...

when i dated her i fvcked 3 girls and it pissed her off....so were even...if she is fvcking another man..i dont care lol.....as long as i fveck her and fvcked other girls on the side i got my fair share..im only angry because i want to still keep fvcking her......lol!

Not only that -----you have this ****y insecurity----bragging on here that your wife would take you back in a heartbeat? LOL because you left here? Are you sure about that? Women ARE rational people too. They hold rational positions as CEO, bankers, attorneys, and have RATIONAL relationships with men......and now you are taking quotes from a totally ridiculously biased movie such as Scarface? Thats just shows your immaturity level.

Give me a break! We are SOCIAL ANIMALS. This is a jungle and violence is present in each of us. We are all capable of killing.

Male deers fight over a female deer in heat. Wild coyotes will kill each other over a jealous mate. Monkeys will eat their offspring over an infidelity. People, Man and Woman, go into fits of anger over jealousy. Its normal. Whats not normal is when we suppress our anger and act liek it doesnt bother us because socitey has conditioned men to beleive it is not normal to angry. This website is designed to help give men the upperhand on women..and to keep it there. I dont care how much upperhandedness you have with women....she will leave you for another guy whenever she feels like it. No amount of using don juan techniques will change that.
I agree we live a civil society and one must control their emotions. I know guys who hit their girlfriends and their girlfriends stay with them. Jealousy is apparent in all of us. Funny enough, I dont care about her boyfriend....he can fvcked her all he wants....im not threatened or mad at him. However, Im angry at this girl for her blantant contempt and rudeness for the male race. I warned her several times. YOu dotn make plans with a woman for her to later blow you off....and then she calls me after I arrange something with her..then she tell she is out with the girls tonight.Thats incredibly disrespectful to me. A good punch in the nose will teach her a lesson. Then i can walk away laughing. I dont mind going to jail when my pride is at stake.

 

[WestCoaster]

She should dump you if you screwed around on her. Who would want to be in such a lousy, dishonest, white trash, scum of the earth relationship when one of the persons is screwing others?

You get in relationships to date one person exclusively, otherwise just play the field and date around.

You have no reason to b-tch and whine as you were being a first-class jerk if you wanted to date only her. You can't have it both ways: either be a swinging single or in a committed relationship.

God, I'm thinking the average American male is as messed up as the U.S. female. Spineless, cheating wimps who are too afraid to commit, and cry their heads off when they get dumped.

Make an appointment for a labotomy.

 

[rutgersman]

West coast you are making me laugh....

LOL......i had the upperhand on her..and yes i had plenty of other women and she knew it....and it pissed her off...so i guess the don juan method of having the upperhand and having power DOESNT WORK. I had the power and she still dumped me. I had other women vying for my attention and she still dumped me. I had practiced all these stupid don juan techniques in her for a while and applied them and she still dumped me. So dont try to overanalyze this men......women are rational!! She loved me...but couldnt stand it when other women showed an interest in me. She told me that if other women desire me she doesnt want to be with me because 9 out of 10 times men will cheat and she was RIGHT!

Im telling, it doesnt matter what you do....the woman will leave you when she can rationally determine whahts best for her. Women are not dummies. They are looking for men to provide security for them. These website is just a mindfvck...thats all. Its oblivious to what women really want.

No amount of don juanness will win her over. I am also stating that beware....women DO NOT like men who are desired by other men. They hate players and they hate ****y men.

 

[WestCoaster]

OK, if you're such a grand macho man, why did you come in here crying like a baby?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I like this thread, so let's keep it civil RUTGERS.