saw a thread about BPD. thought i'd speak up

[Rayneveres]

i was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder myself about a month and a half ago while at Basic Training, and was subsequently discharged.


it sucks. it really does. try to keep in mind guys, that while me might do a lot of stupid ****, it's not necessarily our fault, and some of us DO realize that something is wrong and want to get better, and having the support of another is very, very important on that long and ofttimes lonely road. try not to take our outbursts personally; we don't mean to push you away, and we often feel even worse after we realize what we've done.

i can't blame you for not wanting to be with someone that's this fvcked up, but do try to see all sides of the equation. a relationship isn't just about you. if it is, then it was never a relationship to begin with.

 

[horaholic]

We know its not your fault, but for our own sanity, and happiness, we need to stay far away from you. Some of us here have had our lives ruined by being in relationships with BPD. Yes, its our own fault as well, but the fact is, BPD women have done some unspeakably horrible shyt to us, and we dont deserve it.

I feel for you. Its a shame, because as fvcked up as my ex is, she can be a wonderful person in many, many ways, but the cheating, lying, and almost getting me murdered is the cue for me to TRY to stay away.

At the same time, psychopaths cant help the fact that they feel no emotions if they kill someone, but that doesnt mean we should let them in our lives.


Also, when you say "some of us DO realize that something is wrong and want to get better" we have to take that with a grain of salt, because BPDs twist things around and manipulate us so much we cant believe a single word they say.

All I can say is, I empathize with you, and am sorry you have the disorder,and please dont take any BPD references here personally. Noone cuts me any slack for the way MY brain is wired either, you know. I have a little BPD in me too, but not enough to lie, manipulate, and cheat the way thats been done to me.

I do believe people have control over the choices they make, and actions they take. My ex, CHOSE to lie to me, and CHOSE to cheat on me God knows how many times. I forgive her, but I will never forget.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The overwhelming majority of BPD individuals are female. I have never heard of or met a male BPD. It is possible, but you would be a statistical rarity. I don't know for sure, but given that it's a military medical exam, they might be wrong.

 

[wait_out]

My (undiagnosed) BPD ex was one of the finest people I'd known outside the context of our relationship. It sucked ending the relationship but she wasn't taking responsibility for her actions, no matter how much she wished she could.

I still have a lot of love and sympathy for her. But Ray, my support occasionally made her feel better, but never made her a more self-sufficient person. You owe it to whatever girl will love you, that you can deal with your issues by yourself and not put it on her because you feel overwhelmed.

Long and lonely road or not, it is yours to walk. Good luck man. Be sure you have good professional care to keep you on track.

 

[Rayneveres]

The overwhelming majority of BPD individuals are female. I have never heard of or met a male BPD. It is possible, but you would be a statistical rarity. I don't know for sure, but given that it's a military medical exam, they might be wrong.

i hardly think so. after about four weeks i was pretty intent on pulling a Private Pyle in the latrine after we got back from the range one day. had a moment of clarity and told my Drill Sergeant about it. after a week of seeing a counselor with no perceived progress of any sort, i almost ended up slashing my wrists with a sharp piece of wood i found out on the ground on morning. another private saw me pick it up and called a Drill Sergeant over. i wouldn't have gotten very far anyway, since the wood turned out to be soft and mushy from it raining all day and night.

they would have taken me up to the mental hospital if they had been able to find it, but instead they took me up to the mental health clinic where they gave me an official diagnosis (apparently they had been suspecting BPD for a few days before) and issued me a discharge recommendation.

also, from 7th grade - 9th grade i was constantly in counseling, pretty much being convinced every week not to go blow my head off.

My (undiagnosed) BPD ex was one of the finest people I'd known outside the context of our relationship. It sucked ending the relationship but she wasn't taking responsibility for her actions, no matter how much she wished she could.

I still have a lot of love and sympathy for her. But Ray, my support occasionally made her feel better, but never made her a more self-sufficient person. You owe it to whatever girl will love you, that you can deal with your issues by yourself and not put it on her because you feel overwhelmed.

Long and lonely road or not, it is yours to walk. Good luck man. Be sure you have good professional care to keep you on track.

i understand where you're coming from. i don't have any intention or desire to unfairly take out my issues or dump them on someone that really has no idea about what's going on. unfortunately, that still happens from time to time. i wish it wasn't so. i know this is my problem in the end, and that i'm the only one who can slay this dragon, so to speak, but even Frodo wouldn't have been successful without Sam. just trying to say that support can sometimes go a long way. and feeling better about yourself can provide you motivation to take a few more steps toward climbing out.

it's funny how much i hate it, but at the same time, can see benefits, in my own distorted view. since my emotions are nigh uncontrollable, i'm prone to extreme outbursts and displays, but on the plus side, it enables me to love and care more intensely and passionately than almost anyone else can. whether this is true or not is up for debate, but it's the silver lining to this otherwise very dark cloud.

 

[Rayneveres]

bump, yo

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Ok...

Well, why don´t you post about your past relationships? How were they? Could you describe them (THE WAY U SEE IT)?? I know it will be seen differently from a non BPD, but it´d be interesting anyways.