Describe the situation "before". So for example:
Before:
1. She wasn't cooking or helping out at all
2. She had me sexless
3. She was lying to people about me
4. She was spending money in our joint accounts without checking
5. She was staying out all night in girls nights out
6. She was doing verbal abuse and put downs infront of our kids and others
7. She would always go in on me when she saw me happy
This went on for X number of years and got worse over time. I was always down, angry and I felt like I was backsliding.
After:
1. She's helping out, acting like we are a unit
2. We have sex almost every day, she almost never says no and she's into it
3. She's real protective of our affairs
4. She no longer does anything that might hurt me without checking
5. She cut those friends off who were accomplises to her hurting the marriage
6. She treats me with respect and deference
7. It makes her happy to see me strong and successful
I get sex when i want, get to see my kid and I feel like i have a mostly supportive wife.
Before:
1. She was living in my house for free, i payed upkeep(water,power,heating, taxes etc.) including all the food for the family (though she had a higher income)
2. She didnt do anything in the household but complain and the laundry
3. She was jeallous at everyone in my circles, even at my cats
4. She was trying to cut my parents and grandma out of the "family",
5. She wasnt out at evening/night(never was), 2 female friends (both on tinder)
6. She was constantly complaining about my house (how its built, dust, smell.... she knew it for years before she moved in though)
7. She was using EVERYTHING she could grasp as leverage to force me into compliance (kid, money, tried to manipulate my parents, ect.)
8. She was still up for sex as much as she could get
9. She was trying to isolate me from EVERYONE
This went on for 8 months. I didnt know what hit me, i tried to comply, it got even worse the mor i tried to make it work.
She gaslighted me, took my pride, talked everything down that i enjoyed or was proud of.
After 8 months i took the redpill and started to fight back. Fighting had no effect, she didnt change, i didnt comply/react anymore to most of her shyt, ignored her, started to fortify my social circles, regained my pride (about my house, achievements, etc.), planned my exit strategy out of this ****ty marriage. Just wanted her gone.
1,5 years after she started acting up, she moved out, back 3 weeks later.
After her return (for 2 years now):
1. I made her pay her share for upkeep and groceries. Practically i still pay all because the money comes from the alimony i started to pay for my kid during the 1,5 years.... but that way at least she has no leverage on my about alimony in case of later divorce. (she still earns more then me by 500 bucks/month)
2. She does more in the household and pays for a charwoman
3. I can have sex as much as i want (no changes here)
4. She treats my parents and grandma way better now
5. She complains a lot less now, mostly not due to changing her mindset but to avoid conflict with me
6. Still not going out with friends...... early after her return, she started implementing men in her spare-time activities though, met them at the local gym, went to the shooting-range with a colleague, stuff like that. I told her if she wants to "enrich" her spare time activities with men, i will be doing the same with women and that she souldnt dare to believe i have no options for this case. She stopped at once, never did it again.
7. I know she didnt turn around her mindset 100%..... there is still a lot bully in her if she sees herself in the position of power.
8. I can shut her down most of the time rather quickly when she has an outbreak of her "old self".
9. I never tell her "i love you". Only reply after she says it with "me too".
10. I almost never make compliments about her looks, i only compliment on things she does for me
11. I criticize everything she does wrong openly
