Safe space

[Loki.7]

So basically dating a women. She lives a few hours drive from me. We see each other on the regular (about once a week).

It's developing pretty fast. Both fallen in love , plans to move in together e.t.c.

The thing is she gets really bad on pms. Pushes me away, being mean, e.t.c.

I always get butthurt and get needy. This time around I got needy told her "I loved her" and she responded with "I can't tell you that , because I don't think I do". Might have nuked the relationship, but **** it.

So I'm very sad, and search the internet.

I have a major validation issues. The same "I love you" thing happened in my last long relationship. It was kinda a theme, that relationship went on for 8 years.

On my search I found a book "no more Mr nice guy".

So I buy it. I'm reading it and it suggests, I tell my girl that I'm reading it and she might see some changes. **** it.

So I do knowing full well she's going to blow her top, considering she's a pms monster right now that hates my guts.

Pretends to be supportive for a bit. Then gives me some crap that I over look into things. I'm sure she's going to ***** at me some more for wanting to improve myself.

Anyways....

The book suggested talking about the book, yourself, amoungs 3 trusted sources.

Mines going to be two make friends and I'm looking for a forum.

So I think I'm going to do it here. It will be my journal.

 

[wifehunter]

You joined in 2013 and are having 'issues'?

Have you learned nothing?

 

[mjb3617]

What does your gut tell you about this woman? I'm thinking you already know the answer to what you must do if you decided to share with her you're reading No More Mr Nice Guy

 

[Machine10033]

Honestly f her... she sounds like a b$tch and I don’t know why your putting up with it. It sounds like your in the “honeymoon” stage of a relationship... which should be awesome... girls still shave they pu$$y, put on thigh highs... f8ck you until you can’t walk right.... your seeing the best of her... it doesn’t get better so if she’s a raging ass when she’s having pms and gives you ****.... it only gets worse. Go find something better and don’t take any ****

 

[zekko]

I've heard that book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy", brought up a lot here. But I'm really surprised it instructs you to tell the girl you're reading it. Not sure what good that accomplishes. Maybe prepares her for a change in your attitude? But I don't like it.

 

[Loki.7]

You joined in 2013 and are having 'issues'?

Have you learned nothing?

I got into a long term relationship around that time. I didn't look for advise the time I was with her. I came back in 2021.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've heard that book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy", brought up a lot here. But I'm really surprised it instructs you to tell the girl you're reading it. Not sure what good that accomplishes. Maybe prepares her for a change in your attitude? But I don't like it.

I agree. It’s a good book but I see no value whatever in telling her. If you do, then whenever she is challenged she will say “Did you get that from this book you’ve been reading?”

 

[metalwater]

this is what is in the book about share with a partner.

"Caution
Before you decide to apply the principles presented in this book, I must first warn you about two things. The first is that the program of recovery presented in No More Mr. Nice Guy! is not just a few good ideas to try on for size. It represents a challenge to everything Nice Guys believe about what they must do to be loved, get their needs met, and keep their world calm.
Breaking free from the Nice Guy Syndrome involves a radical change in perspective and behavior. Trying to do it halfway will only result in needless suffering.
Second, breaking free from the Nice Guy syndrome will significantly effect your personal relationships. If you are currently in a relationship, I encourage you to ask your partner to read this book along with you. The program of recovery presented in No More Mr. Nice Guy! will significantly affect not only you, but also those closest to you. Though your partner may be supportive of you making positive changes, they may also initially frighten him or her. Reading this book together can help facilitate this transition."


I think it depends on how far your relationship has decayed. if it's not bad yet, then ok. Usually, it's bad before we search and find this book. For the bad relationship situation, keeping the info to self is better. If she is already being bitchy, this will give her more things to hit you about and also try to sabotage you. If she is still really on your side then it would be ok, but you probably would not yet have had the motivation to find this.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Why are you letting a female be mean to you? Drop her azz. Women value certain man and if they value him they are treating him good.

 

[bat soup]

So basically dating a women. She lives a few hours drive from me. We see each other on the regular (about once a week).

It's developing pretty fast. Both fallen in love , plans to move in together e.t.c.

The thing is she gets really bad on pms. Pushes me away, being mean, e.t.c.

I always get butthurt and get needy. This time around I got needy told her "I loved her" and she responded with "I can't tell you that , because I don't think I do". Might have nuked the relationship, but **** it.

So I'm very sad, and search the internet.

I have a major validation issues. The same "I love you" thing happened in my last long relationship. It was kinda a theme, that relationship went on for 8 years.

On my search I found a book "no more Mr nice guy".

So I buy it. I'm reading it and it suggests, I tell my girl that I'm reading it and she might see some changes. **** it.

So I do knowing full well she's going to blow her top, considering she's a pms monster right now that hates my guts.

Pretends to be supportive for a bit. Then gives me some crap that I over look into things. I'm sure she's going to ***** at me some more for wanting to improve myself.

Anyways....

The book suggested talking about the book, yourself, amoungs 3 trusted sources.

Mines going to be two make friends and I'm looking for a forum.

So I think I'm going to do it here. It will be my journal.

Coming out with "I love you" too soon is a major red flag. It's also a very bad idea to say that to a woman before she says it to you, because it lowers your value to her and makes you look desperate. But you've done it now and there's no way back from that, so just avoid doing it in the future.

If this woman is a pain in the ass during PMS, why not just avoid her that week. Tell her you're busy etc and just avoid seeing her when she's on the rag.

I know the book you're talking about it and it's got a bit of a cult following. You're probably better off not telling women about it. Keep it to yourself and if you have to discuss it do that with friends, not with women.

 

[Stoic]

The woman tells you first that she loves you not the other way.

You need to punish her by silence and distance when she is on her period.

 

[ZTIME]

So basically dating a women. She lives a few hours drive from me. We see each other on the regular (about once a week).

It's developing pretty fast. Both fallen in love , plans to move in together e.t.c.

The thing is she gets really bad on pms. Pushes me away, being mean, e.t.c.

I always get butthurt and get needy. This time around I got needy told her "I loved her" and she responded with "I can't tell you that , because I don't think I do". Might have nuked the relationship, but **** it.

So I'm very sad, and search the internet.

I have a major validation issues. The same "I love you" thing happened in my last long relationship. It was kinda a theme, that relationship went on for 8 years.

On my search I found a book "no more Mr nice guy".

So I buy it. I'm reading it and it suggests, I tell my girl that I'm reading it and she might see some changes. **** it.

So I do knowing full well she's going to blow her top, considering she's a pms monster right now that hates my guts.

Pretends to be supportive for a bit. Then gives me some crap that I over look into things. I'm sure she's going to ***** at me some more for wanting to improve myself.

Anyways....

The book suggested talking about the book, yourself, amoungs 3 trusted sources.

Mines going to be two make friends and I'm looking for a forum.

So I think I'm going to do it here. It will be my journal.

1. Did the book tell you to tell her at the worst time possible? Probably not.

2. Is there a reason you want to move someone in to your home with these issues who openly admits she doesn’t love you?

3.Throw away any book that would tell you that part of helping yourself is giving the source of your misery the opportunity to put you down by saying you’re failing.

 

[2Rocky]

1) Don't reward bad behavior.
2) remove any and all attention. Maybe even go away. AKA soft next
3) don't entertain or rationalize bad behavior. Women are certainly entitled to their feelings but they have to express them in a constructive manner. If you beat her every month because it was "that time of the month" that would not be ok. Same goes with her treating you like crap.

Yes Women get more emotional the week before their periods. You should by now have figured out when that is and what her triggers are. At some point you gotta ask yourself "Do I want to spend 18% of my time with this woman walking on eggshells?"

 

[2Rocky]

Yes Women get more emotional the week before their periods. You should by now have figured out when that is and what her triggers are. At some point you gotta ask yourself "Do I want to spend 18% of my time with this woman walking on eggshells?"

and this is when it is really nice to have other "playmates" . Doesn't have to be women. Leave for a long weekend for a trip with the boys. Schedule work travel for the "third week of every month" or "when the Moon is in the first Quarter" whatever the frequency is...

If she is not Lovey Dovey when you return after being gone a week, she is eliminated from LTR track.