KarmaSutra
Banned
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skip2mylou781 said:
You're a fvcking idiot.
S&m?
- Thread starter wayword
- Start date
You're a fvcking idiot.
Ya, I actually meant to retitle this ****, but couldn't change the title.Kourt said:
Anyways, I figured the hot wax idea is actually a bad one in real life, cuz that ish BURNS, lol!
Well, thanks for the tips guys, I'll read some of those 101's...
BTW, so about what diameter rope is best to use? And what are some good ties and knots?
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Rope is pretty advanced. Start with silk ties.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
violence isnt sexy to me.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Contrary to popular belief, **** isn't about violence.
You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
youknowtherest
Don Juan
- Joined
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**** is often referred to as "power sharing."
This is because in a healthy **** relationship, the submissive has as much power and control as the dominant.
Until you understand that last sentence, you have no business trying ****.
None.
This is because in a healthy **** relationship, the submissive has as much power and control as the dominant.
Until you understand that last sentence, you have no business trying ****.
None.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Bravo!youknowtherest said:
SELF-MASTERY
Banned
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explainyouknowtherest said:
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Isn't "submissive in control" a contradiction in terms?
It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
youknowtherest
Don Juan
- Joined
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You have to do your own homework. There is no driver to download, and no short answer. For a start, put the words "****" and "Power Sharing" into a search engine.
But that's only a start.
Read "S&M 101." It's about $30 and the best money you'll spend if you're serious about learning.
But that's only a start.
Read "S&M 101." It's about $30 and the best money you'll spend if you're serious about learning.
Bad_Lil'Pixie
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2005
- Messages
- 253
- Reaction score
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Imho
Ideally, when you enter into a relationship you have a 50/50 power exchange in mind. It seems perfect, in theory; unfortunately this equal split often ends up with constant bickering and jockeying for positions. If you go into a relationship with spoken aloud and a negotiated agreement, assigning powers that fit and meld to each others gifts and talents, much of the tension seems to vanish. For example, I do not want to unclog the toilet, kill bugs or clean up doggy mounds in the back yard. He doesn’t want to cook, clean house or iron his shirts.
In a power exchange, a couple enhances each others strengths and recognizes weaknesses. I am gifted at ironing shirts, but doggy poop makes me gag. See?? Where I am weak, he is strong, and where he is weak, I am strong. Other things play a par in this as well, life experiences, financial income, outside dedications and responsibilities and much more. All of it plays a part in choreographing the dance you and your lover will move too.
Now you have rolled your eyes and screeched that this is off topic, it isn’t, it is a lifestyle choice, it is the first steps in a **** relationship, the building of trust, establishing rules, communicating openly and rendering power and accepting responsibilities.
Think for a moment, can you fathom how much courage it takes to render some of your power to another??? Many people can not render trust to another, much less power or grant faith. It is only a very strong individual that can wholly give of themselves and their personal power. It takes a deep sense of self to uphold and cherish the power that someone has rendered to you, it is a fragile part of a persons being. As a man, you may think, only a woman could render personal power, but a man would never do that. Only the MOST confident and MOST courageous men ever could.
Sometimes I feel **** define the woman’s attraction to the “bad boy”. A “bad boy” in ‘one not to be controlled’, the flip side of that is “this guy is in control”. A woman with a submissive heart can easily be attracted to a man who is in control. That is my take on it.
Back on track, in the **** lifestyle, the foundation isn’t “kink acts”, rolling (role play), fetish pleasure and spanking, it is the necessity for clear, direct, honest communication with one's partner about one's expectations/desires/fantasies/limits and boundaries. Active men are often the Alpha, confident and self possessed type, active women are often the reserved, self-assured and sometimes aloof type. It is odd, but many times those active in the **** lifestyle are professionals, upper management, career oriented individuals. Backgrounds very, but seldom do you find a lot of baggage, abuse or violence in active kinks. The sexual freedoms and lack if inhibitions are only a small part of the **** lifestyle just like a mainstream relationship is not fully founded on intercourse.
Most medium and larger cities in the US have at least one **** group that holds regular gatherings at restaurants or larger community/conference centers. It is a time that “kinks” can breathe a little easier, share trails and successes with people of like interest. Being in a non-mainstream lifestyle isn’t something accepted in the general public. Women can speak of their new red leather flogger they found on sale equal to a mainstream woman speaking of shoes. A man can discuss the purchase of an iron St Andrews cross equal to a mainstreamer speaking of a new Saab. A woman can flaunt the collar her husband hand crafted equal to a mainstreamer flaunting her new 10 point diamond earrings. If you are seriously considering a deep exploration of the lifestyle this is the source to go to, the every day **** and Jane’s, who work, raise families, attend the PTA meetings and shop for grocery’s each week.
Some one suggested the book "SM 101" by Jay Wiseman, I’d like to add "Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns" by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon, these are some good basic resource if you are truly interested in exploring your inner self. First and foremost recognize your individuality, no person or source can set the rules or pace for you.
You all have great BS meters, should you meet someone claiming to be a Master Dom or a True Sub or who tells you there's one right way to do things, you will know, you will see right off that the needed respect to achieve either role is missing.
Online **** has about as much to do with real life **** as fashion models have to do with real women. There are too many people (male AND female) who are just playing around with kinky fantasies in **** chat rooms and toying with others. Beware of gaining too much of your knowledge from the internet.
I believe everyone has inner demons, so to say, only the valiant will harness them up to take them for a ride and only the most courageous will allow another to hold the reigns.
Of course, as always, written IMHO.
Ideally, when you enter into a relationship you have a 50/50 power exchange in mind. It seems perfect, in theory; unfortunately this equal split often ends up with constant bickering and jockeying for positions. If you go into a relationship with spoken aloud and a negotiated agreement, assigning powers that fit and meld to each others gifts and talents, much of the tension seems to vanish. For example, I do not want to unclog the toilet, kill bugs or clean up doggy mounds in the back yard. He doesn’t want to cook, clean house or iron his shirts.
In a power exchange, a couple enhances each others strengths and recognizes weaknesses. I am gifted at ironing shirts, but doggy poop makes me gag. See?? Where I am weak, he is strong, and where he is weak, I am strong. Other things play a par in this as well, life experiences, financial income, outside dedications and responsibilities and much more. All of it plays a part in choreographing the dance you and your lover will move too.
Now you have rolled your eyes and screeched that this is off topic, it isn’t, it is a lifestyle choice, it is the first steps in a **** relationship, the building of trust, establishing rules, communicating openly and rendering power and accepting responsibilities.
Think for a moment, can you fathom how much courage it takes to render some of your power to another??? Many people can not render trust to another, much less power or grant faith. It is only a very strong individual that can wholly give of themselves and their personal power. It takes a deep sense of self to uphold and cherish the power that someone has rendered to you, it is a fragile part of a persons being. As a man, you may think, only a woman could render personal power, but a man would never do that. Only the MOST confident and MOST courageous men ever could.
Sometimes I feel **** define the woman’s attraction to the “bad boy”. A “bad boy” in ‘one not to be controlled’, the flip side of that is “this guy is in control”. A woman with a submissive heart can easily be attracted to a man who is in control. That is my take on it.
Back on track, in the **** lifestyle, the foundation isn’t “kink acts”, rolling (role play), fetish pleasure and spanking, it is the necessity for clear, direct, honest communication with one's partner about one's expectations/desires/fantasies/limits and boundaries. Active men are often the Alpha, confident and self possessed type, active women are often the reserved, self-assured and sometimes aloof type. It is odd, but many times those active in the **** lifestyle are professionals, upper management, career oriented individuals. Backgrounds very, but seldom do you find a lot of baggage, abuse or violence in active kinks. The sexual freedoms and lack if inhibitions are only a small part of the **** lifestyle just like a mainstream relationship is not fully founded on intercourse.
Most medium and larger cities in the US have at least one **** group that holds regular gatherings at restaurants or larger community/conference centers. It is a time that “kinks” can breathe a little easier, share trails and successes with people of like interest. Being in a non-mainstream lifestyle isn’t something accepted in the general public. Women can speak of their new red leather flogger they found on sale equal to a mainstream woman speaking of shoes. A man can discuss the purchase of an iron St Andrews cross equal to a mainstreamer speaking of a new Saab. A woman can flaunt the collar her husband hand crafted equal to a mainstreamer flaunting her new 10 point diamond earrings. If you are seriously considering a deep exploration of the lifestyle this is the source to go to, the every day **** and Jane’s, who work, raise families, attend the PTA meetings and shop for grocery’s each week.
Some one suggested the book "SM 101" by Jay Wiseman, I’d like to add "Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns" by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon, these are some good basic resource if you are truly interested in exploring your inner self. First and foremost recognize your individuality, no person or source can set the rules or pace for you.
You all have great BS meters, should you meet someone claiming to be a Master Dom or a True Sub or who tells you there's one right way to do things, you will know, you will see right off that the needed respect to achieve either role is missing.
Online **** has about as much to do with real life **** as fashion models have to do with real women. There are too many people (male AND female) who are just playing around with kinky fantasies in **** chat rooms and toying with others. Beware of gaining too much of your knowledge from the internet.
I believe everyone has inner demons, so to say, only the valiant will harness them up to take them for a ride and only the most courageous will allow another to hold the reigns.
Of course, as always, written IMHO.
Boschy
Senior Don Juan
No, violence is not erotic.
A new slave, on all fours, totally nude, wearing a collar and leash, asking me why she's getting so wet just from polishing the chrome on my Barcelona chairs, is sexy as hell.
A new slave, on all fours, totally nude, wearing a collar and leash, asking me why she's getting so wet just from polishing the chrome on my Barcelona chairs, is sexy as hell.
sparky0000
Banned
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- Apr 27, 2006
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Hey, I thought this was a thread on Serbia & Montenegro. Quit using initials. The last thing I need is to read about dog collars and middle age women before I go to bed.