I was active in my local **** scene a few years ago. Dropped out due to a lack of young females in the scene but still come out of the shadows to catch up with friends and pull the leather pant on (a good quality pair of leather pants are perfect for peacocking).
I've actually been thinking of writing posts in the tips forums about how to do basic bondage, spanking, and role plays. **** is a huge topic but some useful tips may spice things up for everyone here. Save you from trawling through a lot of drawn out and technical info online.
Just briefly, the various roles are:
- Male always dominant, female always submissive.
- Male always submissve, female always dominant.
- Male and female switch roles depending on moods and desires, or other factors such as flipping a coin.
Activities:
- Erotic spanking, with or without corporal punishment role playing, using hands or other suitable implements.
- Bondage with ropes, belts, stockings (not recommended, the knots are tough to undo), scarves, metal or leather cuffs.
- Blindfolds, gags, and light pain play with dripping candle wax, pinching nipples, whipping/flogging, clamps etc.
- Heavy pain play and 'edge play' involving canes, cutting, needles, branding, heavy whipping, extreme bondage, breath control.
- Dominant/submissive role play where the submissive partner obeys instructions and performs duties that are either sexual or non-sexual, and the period of time can last minutes or be 24/7 (my preference). Also: pony girls, puppy girls, forced feminisation (for men), etc. Asking for permission to orgasm and masturbate is a common and fun rule to impose.
wayword said:
How much of it is really mental vs physical "abuse?" And where do you draw the line between real and play? Like, would it be ok to hit someone hard enough to actually leave a black-eye?
You must have trust both ways. If in doubt, don't do anything. However, if you pick up a chick and she's keen to try kinky things, she'll probably dive in quickly because these fantasies tend to lay dormant for years and she'll be dying to give it a try. **** is always consensual. Again, if in doubt, ask, communicate. A formal negotiation talk before the play session (i.e. during a coffee date) is standard practice for experienced kinksters.
In heavy S&M play you can use safe words to signal "that hurts a lot but don't stop" or "that's too much, slow down a bit" or "stop immediately I can't go further". A safe word can be something like "banana" or "yellow/red". Words the submissive wouldn't use when she/he is begging for mercy, moaning and screaming.
As for genuine abuse, I have met people abused within the **** scene, and have read several cases of abuse. However, all forms of abuse also happens in the vanilla (straight) arena at large. I suppose the risk of abuse occurring when doing **** happens between inexperienced people. E.g. a new submissive who doesn't realise that s/he can
always say no, or a new dominant who has poor knowledge of things like blood circulation and anatomy. Bruised kidneys from a bad flogging is a common injury. Even with experienced players, you always look at the safety angle because 100 things can go wrong easily. It's a like planning a robbery, actually!
Feel free to ask questions. Admins....this thread might belong in the Tips forum.
For the record, I'm always dominant in **** relationships. Last subby was for three months last year. She was a slave, my favourite flavour of subby
