Since my divorce close to a year ago I have began building up some guide lines to filter out the women I date, but more so this is for LTR women. My list perhaps excludes most women, but I really don't give a d@mn, this is my life and if a woman doesn't have a similar outlook on life, then I will be just happy without them living a life that makes me happy. Believe it or not, once women know you don't give a damn and will drop them like a bad habit, they actually agree to the list.
1.) She must be financially responsible. I am not going to be superman and swoop down and save you if you are always, and I repeat, always, getting in debt, losing your job, etc.. I am not getting caught up in that mess. Every once and a while bad things happen to good people, and that's understandable. But most of the time financial disasters are caused because people just don't know how to manage money and never will.
2.) They must know that I will never, ever, sign a contract stating that they can take half my assets any time they please. This contract, of course, is called marriage.
3.) We will never share a bank account. What I make is mine and what you make is yours. She can spend her money on what ever she wants, and me mine. If we are together long enough, which is 2 years minimum, to eventually move in together, everything is split equally right down the middle, and if she starts showing signs of missing bill payments she is out. This being said, I would never get a place that I couldn't pay for by myself in case I had to kick her out, because if she crashes and burns financially, I'm not going down with her.
4.) She understands that I am not having kids, nor will ever consider doing so ever again. That being said, I love mine and will do anything for them, but I have already been down that road and my ex has them because the family court system in America is just awesome. I'm now basically an empty nester and am enjoying my free time with all kinds of hobbies.
5.) As soon as any guilt trips, nagging, etc... start to show up in the relationship and continue because that is her way of handling issues instead of bringing up the issue in a mature way, she is out the door, I will definitely not tolerate this for long.
6.) She must exercise and eat healthy, just as I do. I am busting my arse at the gym 5 days a week and eating as healthy as possible so that I can enjoy life to it's fullest for as long as I can, and have been doing so since I was a teenager, so she better be on the same page. I want to be able to climb mountains when I am 70, not confined to a couch because of an immeasurable amount of diseases that could be prevented if people would just stay healthy. This way we both are on the same page.
7.) If you have kids, I understand. I like kids and will not rule a women out just because she has kids. But..... she knows full well that I will not bear any financial responsibility for the children, I will not be the children's day care, I will not change any diaper or wake up with their children in the middle of the night to take care of them. I will not be the children's new father, more like an uncle. I will tolerate the kids, play with them, go on vacations with them, etc.. just as she should with my kids when I have them and I don't expect her to do anything special for my kids, just get along with them as I do with hers. However if her kids start showing consistent disrespect and it's not nipped in the bud by the mother, then good bye to all of them.
Well, that's it off the top of my head, I know I have more, but can't think of them. And yes, I have said all of these things to my current girlfriend, and she knows damn well I will leave. She is only a compliment to my life, and as soon as she is not it's not worth my time. Everything I have learned from this life is that you can only be responsible for yourself, it sounds selfish, but it is the truth. People can keep on with the hopeless romantic fairy tale relationship b.s., but this is real life, and the only certainty is that only you can set yourself up for a comfortable future. My list is realistic, and both parties can escape whenever for what ever reason at any time. Marriage does not stop parties from leaving each other, however it does carry the extreme financial risk of one of them losing half of their assets for no good reason.
Feel free to add any suggestions that you have when it comes to women and long term relationships.
1.) She must be financially responsible. I am not going to be superman and swoop down and save you if you are always, and I repeat, always, getting in debt, losing your job, etc.. I am not getting caught up in that mess. Every once and a while bad things happen to good people, and that's understandable. But most of the time financial disasters are caused because people just don't know how to manage money and never will.
2.) They must know that I will never, ever, sign a contract stating that they can take half my assets any time they please. This contract, of course, is called marriage.
3.) We will never share a bank account. What I make is mine and what you make is yours. She can spend her money on what ever she wants, and me mine. If we are together long enough, which is 2 years minimum, to eventually move in together, everything is split equally right down the middle, and if she starts showing signs of missing bill payments she is out. This being said, I would never get a place that I couldn't pay for by myself in case I had to kick her out, because if she crashes and burns financially, I'm not going down with her.
4.) She understands that I am not having kids, nor will ever consider doing so ever again. That being said, I love mine and will do anything for them, but I have already been down that road and my ex has them because the family court system in America is just awesome. I'm now basically an empty nester and am enjoying my free time with all kinds of hobbies.
5.) As soon as any guilt trips, nagging, etc... start to show up in the relationship and continue because that is her way of handling issues instead of bringing up the issue in a mature way, she is out the door, I will definitely not tolerate this for long.
6.) She must exercise and eat healthy, just as I do. I am busting my arse at the gym 5 days a week and eating as healthy as possible so that I can enjoy life to it's fullest for as long as I can, and have been doing so since I was a teenager, so she better be on the same page. I want to be able to climb mountains when I am 70, not confined to a couch because of an immeasurable amount of diseases that could be prevented if people would just stay healthy. This way we both are on the same page.
7.) If you have kids, I understand. I like kids and will not rule a women out just because she has kids. But..... she knows full well that I will not bear any financial responsibility for the children, I will not be the children's day care, I will not change any diaper or wake up with their children in the middle of the night to take care of them. I will not be the children's new father, more like an uncle. I will tolerate the kids, play with them, go on vacations with them, etc.. just as she should with my kids when I have them and I don't expect her to do anything special for my kids, just get along with them as I do with hers. However if her kids start showing consistent disrespect and it's not nipped in the bud by the mother, then good bye to all of them.
Well, that's it off the top of my head, I know I have more, but can't think of them. And yes, I have said all of these things to my current girlfriend, and she knows damn well I will leave. She is only a compliment to my life, and as soon as she is not it's not worth my time. Everything I have learned from this life is that you can only be responsible for yourself, it sounds selfish, but it is the truth. People can keep on with the hopeless romantic fairy tale relationship b.s., but this is real life, and the only certainty is that only you can set yourself up for a comfortable future. My list is realistic, and both parties can escape whenever for what ever reason at any time. Marriage does not stop parties from leaving each other, however it does carry the extreme financial risk of one of them losing half of their assets for no good reason.
Feel free to add any suggestions that you have when it comes to women and long term relationships.
