ruined my freakin night dealing with this chick

[backbreaker]

If you are not familiar with my situtation with this particular girl, read this:


http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=49295


anyway, I am actually sleep at around 8pm because I had a long week at work, and I get a call from a friend, who asks me if I wanted to go bowling with my best friends. I say why not, so I throw on some clothes and meet them at the bowling alley. I meet a couple of woman, won 1 of 3 games (which is around normal, we usually split the games three ways we are all pretty good), then we shot pool and I won the best of 5 series, so I am feeling pretty good. We decided to go and grab a bite to eat before we call it a night and go our seperate ways.

While I am in the car, I get the "genious" idea to call this chick, just to say hi, because I haven't spoken with her in a couple of days, almost a week. AT times it seems like we are playing cat and mouse to see who will break down and call who, but I really wasn't in the mood for games, I hadn't spoken to her in a while and I wanted to make sure she was okay and just to say hi.

When I call she is just walking in the house and says she will call me back.

I get to denny's and she calls me. I ask her what she has been doing lately. The first thing she blurts out is that she just got back from a date with her BF. I tell her I didn't want to know that and frankly I really don't care what you do with him, you could have just said I went out with some friends and left it at that.

Then she asks what I am doing tomorrow, I say I have a couple of things I plan to do, because I don't want to sound uninteresting. She tells me about an Arena football game that is going on and says " you should come". I say okay I will pick you up at around 7ish. She says, "NO, you know who I am going with". I was pretty pertured, because you don't invite someone somewhere, and then say "no, you can go, just not with me". I really wanted to tell her off, but I am better than that, and I kept my composure.

She then asked me was I just coming from bowling. I said yes, and she said "oh, me and my BF was going to go." I really, really wanted to tell her off but I just bit my tounge and said "I'm glad you didn't". I then told her she has an open inventation to come with me, and she then give ms this "I know, but I still don't feel comfortable going out without my BF". This is the same girl who a week ago told me, and is still considering, moving to NY for the summer beacuase she wants to get away from him.

I think this was the last straw, becasue I just started to see though and was getting sick and tired of her BS. I tolld her "You are freaking pathietic, what kind of 'relationship' do you have if you can't see a 'friend' to go bowling for crying out loud. I said a couple of other things, but you get the point.

Then, my food finally came, but I did have some stuff I wanted to tell her becausue I was reved up by now, and she says "well I have to go to sleep". I said "no you don't, if you don't want to. You are a grown woman, if you want to talk to me you will wait 15 mins so i can finish my food. You aren't going to hurt my feelings if you don't want to talk to me, but don't sugarcoat it like you don't have a freaking choice"

She then trys to throw every excuse in the book at me. I told her to just stop and listen to herself, she sounds pitiful and I didn't know who she thought she was fooling.

She said "my mom is strict, and I sleep with her at night (which she does)". I told her I know, but you don' thave to go to sleep now. I said wait for 15 mintues and I will call you back. I know you can occupy yourself for 15 mintues. Then she says " well my phone will ring and she will get mad."

I started laughing and said she was reaching for straws now, and that ovbiously you don't want to talk to me know, so I will call you back in 15 mintues, and if you don't pick up the phone I will assume that you don't want to talk to me.

Her: Brandon, that's not true, I do want to talk to you but

me: look babe, I am going to say it one more time, I am going to eat, and frankly this isn't up for discussion. I wil call you back in 15 mintues, and if you don't pick up the phone, I will assume that you don't want to talk to me.

Her: But

Me: Hung up the phone, shaking my head.

Now I was peeved because of this chick.

To prove my point, she called me back around 12 mintues later saying " are you busy". I said "yes, I am still eating".

Her: Well I just wanted to tell you that I am going to sleep becauwse I have to get up early

Me: okay babe

Her: what did you want to talk to me about?

Me: It's going to take longer than 5 mintues so I will catch up with you later.

Her: okay bye


The thing is, she has been getting under my skin all week long.

First, she calls me I think tuesday in the morning, knowing I am at work, and tells me that she got her first real job. She is a natural in front of the camera and she majors in TV and Radio and she got a job doing the weather for all of the local radio stations in the morning, in spanish and english. I was actually proud of her, I really was, so on my way home from work, while at kroger, I pick up a congradulations card and write a personal note in it, saying basically I was proud of her. I know it got there thursday. She hasn't called to say thanks or anything. When I asked her did she what I sent her, she said she didn't and asked what it was. I still don't believe that she didn't see it, but it wasn't the card that peeved me, it was the fact that I took the time to say congrats and she doesn't have the decency to call and say thanks.

Also, that same day she called, I actually planned to get off work at a decent hour, around 5. I told her I was going to barnes and noble, which I was, and because she had to study for an exam, she should come up there as well. She say that sounded great and she would call me around 5 to make sure I am there. She never called. I wasn't mad becasue I went out of my way to go, because I was going anyway, that is just plain freaking rude to be invited somewhere and not call to at least cancel. It was so inconsiderate I seriousliy thought something might be wrong with her, which is party why I called in the first place. Now I see she is just flaky.

Thinking about it, the only times I talk to her or see her on a semi-consistant basis is when her and her BF are going at it. When we first started talking again, her and her BF pretty much broke up and that same weekend she pretty much spent the night at my house. 2 weeks later she and him got into, actually about me, and she wanted to see me and we talked for a second. The only times she calls is when she is having drama.

When her and her BF are going at it, she tells me how she knows she is in a bad realtionship and all, but when things are not as bad she tells me "I can't do anything without my BF" and I can't even get her to pick up the phone to say hi. I don't mind, I really don't mind if you have plans with her BF and you have to cancel your plans with me, but at least have the freaking decnecy to call and say so.

The more I sat down and thought about it, the more pissed I got. As much as I care about her, and I really do care about her, she or any other woman is not worth this much trouble. I am a pretty good looking guy. I make alot of money, drive a nice car, I am very smart, etc. I have too much to offer to people to sit around for this drama queen who just calls and takes my kindness for granted.

So the next time we talk, unless she gives me a BJ to change my mind, I am going to next her and tell her to give me a call when she grows up.

 

[Tails]

she is an idiot. stop talking to her. SHE PLAYIN' GAMES WIT YOU YO! fuken dumb b|tch.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Tails
she is an idiot. stop talking to her. SHE PLAYIN' GAMES WIT YOU YO! fuken dumb b|tch.

well, I wouldn't take it so far as to call her a dumb *****, but I get your point and it for the most part is well taken.

I was worreid about would I be coming off as a jerk, but honesty I don't give a damn what she thinks any longer.

 

[Tails]

there you go, that's the spirit! who cares what she thinks. honestly man, she is wasting your time, just move on. she doesn't deserve your time. just another childish game of a girl.

 

[Tails]

wake up bro. when she has problems with her boyfriend, she comes to get attention from you. she uses you to feel better. treating you like one of her girlfriends. i say: fuk that!

 

[backbreaker]

That's the thing, I know she has SOME interest in me, otherwise I would have left a long time ago. Honestly, although I really would like to date her, I could even live with the fact that she had a B F and be friends with her if she acted better about it, even though that's not what I want.

However you are right. The first time she contacted me in 2 years was because her and her BF got into it, actually about me again, and she contacted me. She keeps saying that she doesn't want her relationshiop with him to be the reason we talk but ovbiously it is. She knew I would listen and took full advantage of me.

She really doesn't deserve my time or thoughts. I have too much to offer to just be someone's emotional tampon

 

[backbreaker]

also, I am able to say alot of the things I say (I left out the best part) becausea of my demenor. I don't yell, ever. Even when I am breaking her balls i am pretty easy going about it.

 

[Tails]

good man! don't dare let girls take advantage of you. she's just using you. and it's cool to be calm about those things. you don't need to yell. you can do things and still be cool

 

[backbreaker]

help!!

okay, I woke up this morning, a little later than normal, and started jogging. The second I get in the house, my cell phone rings. It's this girl again.

I pick up the phone, mainly because I was so suprised she called that I didn't have time to think about NOT picking up the phone.

So we talk for a second and then she asks me

"what did you want to talk to me about last night"

I said, basically I don't like the way this is playing out. I can't be you friend, or be there for you only when you and your BF are having problems. If that is what you want, or if that is what you expect from me, we can do each other a favor and stop talking now.

Then she goes into this whole deal, and I can tell when she gets fustrated because the tone of her voice.

I told her I didn't appricate the fact that I gave her an inventation to meet me somewhere, and I wasn't mad because you didn't come, I was mad because you didn't call to let me know you weren't coming. What if I saw an old friend that I wanted to see, I couldn't go anywhere because I was waiting on you to come..

I told her that how could she consider me a friend, but yet she has to sneak around her BF to talk to me.

Then, something came up and she had to leave, thank god because I might have said something I would have regreted like... I like you and want to be with you or... I guess everything is okay when it's not.

Anyway, I don't know if it's the drama, but I can't her to call me unless either I am mad at her, or if she is in it with her BF.

I even told her that ,and she said i was right, that she does talk to me more when her BF and her are at it, because she always thinks "this is it, I need to move on". I said that's not good enough., You have to be there more than when it's timely for you.

also she used to tell me that she has been getting in contact with all of her old friends recently, when she finally admitted it was just really me and a woman friend who she got into it over an ex bf with.


Correct me if I am wrong (pretty please correct me if I am wrong) but I think she does like me, I think this explains why I have hell trying to get her do things with me, and I think it's the reason why she won't tell her BF about me, because she feels like she is doing something wrong (and he does to). However, she is trying to get away with using me as an emotional tampon, and that's unaccecptable.

All I really want to know is what is going on. My finger is still on the next button, and even if I didn't I really have to start dating again, because she has too many issues to bear with at once.


anyway, any advice would be greatly appricated, I just had to get that off my chest before i accidently let if off my chest to HER

 

[jakethasnake]

Why don't you keep gaming the other women in your life, backbreaker? Or do you keep hanging off her because she is the best 'option' out of the whole bullpen (in terms of looks, esp.... after all that is what guys go for)? If that isn't the case, I don't know what is keeping you from just dropping her. Personally, just the fact that she is talking with you so intimately is a big turn off. Sounds like a ho-bag just waiting to go off, like a pipe-bomb.


I say drop this girl.

 

[white_hype]

re read your post and kick yourself in the nuts, you deserve it

 

[Tails]

ahh, my friend. into a big triangle here. yes, i think she does like you. but i also think that she's confused. she likes you yet she's afraid to start hanging out with you. she doesn't know what to do about her boyfriend. she probably wants to leave him and go to you. here's what i say:

if she calls you again, tell her to stop bothering you. tell her to call you when she's single or isn't having problems with her BF. you don't want to listen to her problems anymore and you don't want to communicate with her. tell her you don't want your time wasted. tell her she needs to sort her sh|t out. tell her, you like her, you enjoy talking to her, but you will not be one of her girlfriends who listens to BF problems. but when she has sorted her sh|t out, she can call you.

(personally, i think this silly game is going on too long and you need to let her know you're not down for this sh|it no more, it's over) do NOT get involved until she has left the guy. but honestly? i would leave her alone right now. tell her to stop calling you. delete her damn number, whatever. getting involved with girls already taken causes alot of sh|t. especially if the BF knows you're the reason she dumped his ass. he be pissed yo!
and i can tell you right now, that damn b|tch ain't worth it!

that is all. you have to explain to her what you want man. she is fuking with your head, because she is confused and at the same time, she is confusing you. get it sorted out bro!

good luck.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
Why don't you keep gaming the other women in your life, backbreaker? Or do you keep hanging off her because she is the best 'option' out of the whole bullpen (in terms of looks, esp.... after all that is what guys go for)? If that isn't the case, I don't know what is keeping you from just dropping her. Personally, just the fact that she is talking with you so intimately is a big turn off. Sounds like a ho-bag just waiting to go off, like a pipe-bomb.


I say drop this girl.

I see what you are saying and I ask myself this question every damn day.

There are 2 reasons. First, had a major crush on this girl since Junior high, and even more so when I found out she was actually a cool person.

secondly, we just click. It's that simple. She isn't the best looking girl I know, she isn't the smartest, she isn't the best communictor, but she is the best blend probably of all of the girls I know, and I feel happy when we are around each other.

With that said, everyone has their limits and I can only go so far.

 

[squirrels]

Stop. Just....stop.

She doesn't like you that way, she's with a man she DOES like that way, even if he does make her life a living hell, she's not going to "give you a BJ" next time you see her, and you're ruining your life trying to make it otherwise. The longer you keep hounding her, the more you're going to make yourself look like a little b!tch.

Get another girl. Maybe she'll get into you once she sees how much other women fawn over you. But maybe by then you'll be too into the other girl to care.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Tails
ahh, my friend. into a big triangle here. yes, i think she does like you. but i also think that she's confused. she likes you yet she's afraid to start hanging out with you. she doesn't know what to do about her boyfriend. she probably wants to leave him and go to you. here's what i say:

if she calls you again, tell her to stop bothering you. tell her to call you when she's single or isn't having problems with her BF. you don't want to listen to her problems anymore and you don't want to communicate with her. tell her you don't want your time wasted. tell her she needs to sort her sh|t out. tell her, you like her, you enjoy talking to her, but you will not be one of her girlfriends who listens to BF problems. but when she has sorted her sh|t out, she can call you.

(personally, i think this silly game is going on too long and you need to let her know you're not down for this sh|it no more, it's over) do NOT get involved until she has left the guy. but honestly? i would leave her alone right now. tell her to stop calling you. delete her damn number, whatever. getting involved with girls already taken causes alot of sh|t. especially if the BF knows you're the reason she dumped his ass. he be pissed yo!
and i can tell you right now, that damn b|tch ain't worth it!

that is all. you have to explain to her what you want man. she is fuking with your head, because she is confused and at the same time, she is confusing you. get it sorted out bro!

good luck.

damn talis, you are my new best friend. That's exactly what i needed.

Actually she just called back, but she has the cheapest cell phone on earth and it went out.

She was telling me that she wrote her BF an email saying that she contacted me, but ever since he thinks that she is cheating on him with me.

I would be lying if I said I didn't find it interesting, but just that. Interesting, I can' t have this much drama in my life.


Damn, she just called again, but to tell me that she has to go (why the hell even bother).

BTW, part of us not seeing each other is also because we are just DAMN busy. 2 years ago, before I started my company, I built websites and ran marketing campaigns out of my apartment. I always worked early so that I would be done by 2:30 and I would pick her up from school every day (has to be the most AFC thing you could do) and we got to see each other then. Now, It's not uncommon for me to leave work at 2:30 in the MORNING and she is in school and she now does the weather for the local radio stations and babysits.

BTW, her boyfriend is Schizophrenic, and she blames everything that he does wrong on his "new condition". Whatever the case, she keeps calling me and it's like she is trying to convenice me that it is normal to do what she is trying to do.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by squirrels
Stop. Just....stop.

She doesn't like you that way, she's with a man she DOES like that way, even if he does make her life a living hell, she's not going to "give you a BJ" next time you see her, and you're ruining your life trying to make it otherwise. The longer you keep hounding her, the more you're going to make yourself look like a little b!tch.

Get another girl. Maybe she'll get into you once she sees how much other women fawn over you. But maybe by then you'll be too into the other girl to care.

squirrls did you even read the damn post? I hound her? I have called her 1 time in 1 month. She calls ME. She has called me 8 times today alone.

I don't have her, how can I get another girl If i am not dating her. I have other friends yes, she is a friend, but I just so happen to care about her.

How am i looking like a little ***** if i am nexting her, which is what i am in the process of doing, or at least seriously concenplating.

 

[backbreaker]

talis, i am not nieve to think that she want to leave him and " go to me". if she wanted that, she would have done so already, plain and simple.

However, I think you have the best viewpoint out of everyone else here.

All I am saying is that regardless of what she wants, or what she is trying to accomplish, I am saying that enough is enough.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Yo dude, don't put up with this crap, wtf are you talking to her about.. she keeps mentioning BF BF BF in your face like a badge. Do this dude: erase contact info from everything..email/ims/cell/address book whatever JUST MAKE HER DO ALL THE TALKING and only respond when she contacts you.. but make it short. Hit bars/strip clubs/friends, You will feel much better after that.

 

[backbreaker]

dj_dork, thanks for the advice, but i have said already that I DON'T call her. I have called her a total of 1 time in the last month, which was last night.

For the most part when we do talk, which is around 2 times a week, it is usually less than 10 mintues.

anyway, i fyou haven't noticed, I really and not searching for advice, although it is aprpicated, I am just ranting so that I don't tell her something that I might later regret. I know what I have to do. I can't keep letting her call me whenever she pleases, only to not give contact with me for weeks on end because her BF doesn't like the fact that me and her are friends.


I would have told her by now, but I really wanted to do in person, but it doesn't look possible because of our schedules, so the next time she calls, which will be today make no mistake,
i will just tell her that I like her, I like being around her, and Iknow she likes me, but I can't deal with all of this drama from someone I am not even talking to, let alone dating, and that I do want to still talk/see her again, but not until she gets her situtation "under control"

 

[WaterTiger]

Wait...her boyfriend has a diagnosed mental condition? And that doesn't chill you to the bone?

She needs to make up her mind to stay and help him maintain his stability or drop him completely. Going back and forth between the two of you is only going to aggravate you and make him jealous. Jealous people with mental conditions do "crazy" things...like try to kill the guy they precive is stealing their girlfriend.

Listen to me on this one! I have experience with people with 'personality disorders". They have their own wierd idea of what is reasonable. This has nothing to do with what the rest of us sane people understand as "normal". This boyfriend can become dangerous with NO WARNING.

My personal oppinion is to dump this girl. Do not accept her calls, block her e-mails and if you see her in public, refuse to speak to her & walk away. This is WAY too much drama for dating purposes! This chick is an immature drama queen. She's playing with fire and will be badly burned. Make sure you're out of the blast range.