zekko
Master Don Juan
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I found the link to this article in the comments section of the George Clooney link that Warrior 74 posted over in the Clooney thread. I didn't want to hijack that thread so here it is. Anyone who is considering getting married should read it:
http://www.counter-currents.com/2011/06/rotating-polyandry-and-its-enforcers-part-1/
A few things that caught my interest:
The author talks about how "after four years of happy marriage and shortly after her 27th birthday, she began to feel bored and unhappy for no apparent reason". Her study showed that this is part of a normal cycle for women.
Most people know that couples go through a "honeymoon phase", so this was her leaving that phase.
I have always maintained that pairs bond for at least long enough to ensure the survival of the child, so this doesn't surprise me. But I am surprised this phase isn't a little longer. A four year old child is still going to need a lot of parental support to survive.
When studying this phenomenon, the author found that some women
“claimed that when their husbands touched them, they felt violated; they said their bodies would freeze up and they would feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach.”
Ouch.
She also notes:
"One thing that usually does change after the wedding is the woman’s willingness to overlook her man’s faults. Many men will tell you: “when my wife and I were dating, I could do no wrong; now that we are married, I can do no right.” "
I experienced some of this in my own marriage. She starts out treating you like you're perfect, never criticizing you, supporting you in everything. Then, once the honeymoon phase wears off, the complaints start to come about all your faults, real or imagined.
Here's a great point she makes:
"women want to get married, not to be married. They often love not so much their husbands as their bridal-fantasy in which the man serves as a necessary prop."
I think there's a lot of truth in that. There's an old saying that the marriage is for the man, and the wedding is for the woman.
This results in:
"Females want to wear the dress and have the wedding. Many women have looked forward to that day their whole lives, which ultimately sets them up for a huge crash"
And eventually the woman goes on to seek other lovers.
When you read this and see the process pointed out so exactly, it makes you wonder how it is that some relationships actually last longer than the four years, or the honeymoon stage, or whatever. I suppose the key is that both people have to genuinely like each other.
Oh, there's a second part also, about how the divorce courts screw guys over. You can read that if you like. I'm not going to comment on it, since that topic's been covered pretty well here over the years.
http://www.counter-currents.com/2011/06/rotating-polyandry-and-its-enforcers-part-2/
http://www.counter-currents.com/2011/06/rotating-polyandry-and-its-enforcers-part-1/
A few things that caught my interest:
The author talks about how "after four years of happy marriage and shortly after her 27th birthday, she began to feel bored and unhappy for no apparent reason". Her study showed that this is part of a normal cycle for women.
Most people know that couples go through a "honeymoon phase", so this was her leaving that phase.
I have always maintained that pairs bond for at least long enough to ensure the survival of the child, so this doesn't surprise me. But I am surprised this phase isn't a little longer. A four year old child is still going to need a lot of parental support to survive.
When studying this phenomenon, the author found that some women
“claimed that when their husbands touched them, they felt violated; they said their bodies would freeze up and they would feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach.”
Ouch.
She also notes:
"One thing that usually does change after the wedding is the woman’s willingness to overlook her man’s faults. Many men will tell you: “when my wife and I were dating, I could do no wrong; now that we are married, I can do no right.” "
I experienced some of this in my own marriage. She starts out treating you like you're perfect, never criticizing you, supporting you in everything. Then, once the honeymoon phase wears off, the complaints start to come about all your faults, real or imagined.
Here's a great point she makes:
"women want to get married, not to be married. They often love not so much their husbands as their bridal-fantasy in which the man serves as a necessary prop."
I think there's a lot of truth in that. There's an old saying that the marriage is for the man, and the wedding is for the woman.
This results in:
"Females want to wear the dress and have the wedding. Many women have looked forward to that day their whole lives, which ultimately sets them up for a huge crash"
And eventually the woman goes on to seek other lovers.
When you read this and see the process pointed out so exactly, it makes you wonder how it is that some relationships actually last longer than the four years, or the honeymoon stage, or whatever. I suppose the key is that both people have to genuinely like each other.
Oh, there's a second part also, about how the divorce courts screw guys over. You can read that if you like. I'm not going to comment on it, since that topic's been covered pretty well here over the years.
http://www.counter-currents.com/2011/06/rotating-polyandry-and-its-enforcers-part-2/
