Rollo Tomassi Meets the Infamous AW

[STR8UP]

Last week Rollo invited the Orlando area DJ group to a product launch party (I guess that's what it was) at an upscale bar I go to from time to time.

I would have stopped by to say hi anyway, but it just so happened that I was already going to be meeting my friend the AW there for happy hour with some of her friends.

I rolled in and called Rollo. Hung out with him and his coworkers for awhile and had a couple of drinks (good vodka, BTW...I appreciate it).

Soon after I got there I started gettign texts from the AW and eventually she came and found me. Gave her a quick hug and she was off to meet up with the rest of her friends. She wasn't there long so i didn't introduce her to anyone, but when she walked away I told Rollo that this was the AW.

It was funny, cause being the student of human nature that he is, I knew he wouldn't be able to resist the opportunity to meet her, and sure enough, as soon as he heard this he got this look in his eye like "this is gonna be fun!"

I went and joined up with the AW and her friends, and eventually Rollo made his rounds and found us on the patio.

We had a brief but interesting conversation. I can't recall exactly what we talked about (thanks to the turbo charged martinis!) but Rollo was digging in trying to feel out what the AW was all about.

Maybe Rollo could help me out here, as I am curious to hear his thoughts.

I wrote her off as not being relationship potential soon after meeting her, but since we reconnected a few years ago and have spent more time together she has become a little "experiment" for me to see the inner workings of an AW.

Rollo, what did you think?

 

[jafyk]

Well, Rollo we are waiting, lol. Dude you met and hung out with Rollo that's cool. Wish I had been on this forum when I went to Florida earlier this year. I'd have looked him up too.

 

[STR8UP]

Well, Rollo we are waiting, lol. Dude you met and hung out with Rollo that's cool. Wish I had been on this forum when I went to Florida earlier this year. I'd have looked him up too.

I have the privilege of living near a few of the great SS DJ's. Deep Dish and Karma were also invited last weekend but were unable to attend.

Fortunately, it looks like Deep Dish will be able to attend Martinifest with me this Friday (thanks to the generosity of Mr. Tomassi). Rollo is working but hopefully he will be able to at least say hello. The AW will also be there, so I'm looking forward to another fun filled evening

Orlando DJ's rock :rockon:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I guess I should preface this with what was going on this night. As some of you know I'm the art director for an international brand of vodka. This night we were at an upscale martini club in the metro Orlando area here in Florida for new product launch that I was instrumental in creating. The brand has been tearing it up sales-wise (in a down-market no less) even before the official launch last Friday so we had some reason to celebrate and as I occasionally do, I invited STR8, Deep Dish and KarmaSutra out for drinks on me.

STR8 tells me the AW was in tow with his friends this night too, so I made a point to meet her as I was making rounds with our people and distributors. He initially introduced me at the back bar area and she seemed cordial enough, but honestly STR8, she's 39 right? She's not nearly attractive enough to have the attitude she does. My immediate assessment was that she might be an HB5 with a self-value around 8. In other words she'd like people to think she's more than she is, and/or she used to be attractive and is compensating for a loss in that attention.

Later on I went hunting for STR8 when I got a free moment. I found him, her and another friend at one of the patio tables and met her formally. Her first priority was to steer the conversation to be about herself, but this was my environment and my element. I was surrounded by my brand and bottles of vodka were being poured that I'd done 4 years ago not to mention the newest launch so I'm naturally getting questions left & right about it. Again she tries to derail this and work herself into the discourse. I can tell she's unused to having attention pulled from her, so rather than fight her directly, I put it in her lap by asking her comparative questions. What does she do for a living? She arranges funeral plots in some way. Heh,..ok,..I pick up on her accent, I know it's slavic of some kind because I've worked with Czech brands before, but I neg and ask her if she's Polish? She mocks offense to this (predictably) and then I say with a raised eyebrow "Russian?" She starts to get bent and tells me she's Czech ("one of the 'good guys'"). This goes on a bit, and she tries to get the attention off me, but I reel it back until I politely, but promptly excuse myself from the table. I'd had a table of 3 women begging for my attention for the better part of the night since I'd gotten there and as they were on the patio too, I moved on to them before leaving.

In all, I'd agree, she's a definite AW, but as she's 39 I can see she's struggling for relevancy. The trouble with women like this is that, just like most AFCs, she clings to adolescent social skills. She knows what's worked for her in the past and really has had no reason to change her approach, and thus no occasion to learn how to interact in any other way than to insist on being the focus of attention. This may have worked when she was hot 25 y.o. PoA, but at 39, the party's long since over.

I'll try to give you another perspective after Martinifest STR8, provided I have a chance to. I get pulled around quite a bit at this event, but I'll be sure to meet up with you and Deep.

 

[STR8UP]

Sounds like a pretty accurate assessment.

I don't do well around this type of high energy "MeMeMe" types some of the time, but a few of them I click with (male and female). With her I get along probably in large part because whatever she throws at me I throw right back at her.

I know she "uses" me for validation, true to her AW personality, but to be honest I have a good time hanging out with her, and we interact in a way that gives tons of social proof (despite the fact that she is not as hot as she was in her 20's).

She tries to keep the spotlight on herself, but this is one of the women who I established that she has no "claim" over me. In other words, she knows that I won't hesitate to hook up with one of her friends should one strike my fancy. I've done it twice before and I'm in the process of doing it again.

I wish you could have gotten to see her in a higher energy environment to see how I interact with her, cause I would imagine that you would find it pretty amusing. Maybe on Friday....we shall see. I think she's planning on sampling PLENTY of vodka that night. Should be fun.

 

[wjh]

To each his own STR8, but "experimenting" with a girl who desperately wants to be the center of attention doesn't exactly sound like my idea of a good time.

 

[Mr. Me]

Yeah, I don't get it... what's with the fascination with drawing attention to an attention wh@re? Seems kinds high schoolish to me.

 

[BeyondCharm]

Yeah, I don't get it... what's with the fascination with drawing attention to an attention wh@re? Seems kinds high schoolish to me.

Well it sounds like Str8up enjoys this womans company and in and of itself there is nothing wrong with that. Some people "get off" on the interchange of banter and thats what this sounds like to me. To each his own, just remember, to thine ownself be true.

 

[wjh]

To each his own, just remember, to thine ownself be true.

Wow, two cliches in one sentence, impressive.

 

[STR8UP]

Yeah, I don't get it... what's with the fascination with drawing attention to an attention wh@re? Seems kinds high schoolish to me.

Huh?

I hang out with her and we have a good time.

The amateur sociologist in me observes her behavior. Hell, I do that to everyone, but this one is even more fascinating because it's a peek inside the way all women are (albeit to a lesser degree).

If I had feelings for her she would be trouble.

 

[wjh]

it's a peek inside the way all women are (albeit to a lesser degree).

Maybe all desperate women, certainly not the ones with no daddy issues and a healthy sense of self-esteem.

 

[STR8UP]

Maybe all desperate women, certainly not the ones with no daddy issues and a healthy sense of self-esteem.

The is a lot of difference of opinion on this board, but I am willing to bet that most guys would agree that women are for the most part all attention seekers. Attention Wh0res are nothing more than extreme examples.

 

[TheHumanist]

^^^It is a human need to have a feeling of some importance, some place in the world. Should a women or just anybody instead just want to hide herself away? The fact it is an extreme is the vice, not the desire or the act.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Should a women or just anybody instead just want to hide herself away?

Attention is the coin of the realm in Girl World. While it's true that most human beings are attention seeking to some degree, it is uniquely the female gender that uses attention as a form of personal currency for affirmation. Have a read of Your Attention Please and you'll see what's meant by this.

The is a lot of difference of opinion on this board, but I am willing to bet that most guys would agree that women are for the most part all attention seekers. Attention Wh0res are nothing more than extreme examples.

Not extreme examples, just OVERT examples.

 

[STR8UP]

Not extreme examples, just OVERT examples.

Interesting point.

I suppose you are correct to a point, but there are some women who become absolutely DEFLATED when the spotlight is taken off of them. Others handle it fairly well.

But I think you would agree with me when I say that it's fascinating to be able to watch an AW because it gives you lots of great insight into the way women maneuver themselves to ensure a constant stream of validation. When you are not the "victim" of one of these women, but rather a casual observer, you can see clearly a lot of things that most guys miss.

Like for example....the other guy you met the other night? I can see that he doesn't have much more invested in her than I do. I think he even has a quasi g/f. The guy is a dentist so I doubt he has much of a problem getting women.

Anyway, neither one of us really wants anything from the AW from what I can tell, so there is no investment. However, I can still see that she "tones it down" with me when there is another guy present. Like she thinks that if she flirts with him she will "lose" me, or vice versa. It's funny to watch when you are conscious of what is really going on. You might see a little more of what she is like around me on Friday when there aren't other "sources of validation" around.

 

[wjh]

Attention wh0res are just desperate male-attention seekers. Desperate is the key word. Desperate for various reasons, whether daddy didn't give her enough attention growing up and she's overcompensating or she's desperately trying to fulfill her marriage/beta-provider agenda. Regardless, all they seem to do is highlight, with ridiculous behavior, all of the negative manifestations of a girl you'd never want to be in any serious relationship with. How you could enjoy watching (or associating with) this socially awkward behavior, well, I have no idea.

 

[Mr. Me]

Huh?...

The amateur sociologist in me observes her behavior. Hell, I do that to everyone, but this one is even more fascinating because

I guess that's what I'm picking up on: that you have this strong fascination with her, writing often about her and authoring this thread about your desire to have Rollo to meet her, and not only meet her, but to invite him to comment further about her here, rather then being someone who's somewhat scientifically just "observing her behavior", that's all. That's okay, I don't really care, you do what you want of course, but it appears overboard on your part to me, that's simply my take, no offense being meant. You don't think you're a bit obsessive about her?

 

[TheHumanist]

Attention is the coin of the realm in Girl World. While it's true that most human beings are attention seeking to some degree, it is uniquely the female gender that uses attention as a form of personal currency for affirmation. Have a read of Your Attention Please and you'll see what's meant by this.



Not extreme examples, just OVERT examples.

I had read your other article before, if I'm not mistaken, your thesis is a women needs attention for the sense of validity. Stemming for that, it is the reason why while men tend to fight more physically, while women fight mentally and socially ("I'm going to punch you vs I'm won't talk to you anymore). Also that leads that even today society that try to bring more emphasis on career success and so on, attention as a currency will not go away. Thus using attention is an effective tool as punishment and reward. Including the release of hormones that influences our thought and opinions. Perhaps even the hormones are one of the very element of our mind. Basically unlike a man, a woman sees attention a much higher value and need.

The point of that article does bring up a problem that a person should look to an internal source for validation instead of an external source. However, this is for another discussion.

If I'm missing something, perhaps you can pm me or post here what am I misunderstanding. For your response to my question doesn't answer nor negate my question from what I can make of it.

It is not like attention itself is bad. It is the action taken to get it. Though an attention wh0re is an extreme word with its very negative connotation of a very selfish and self-centered women who cause disruption and trouble around her for the sake of attention. Basically a drama queen. (I did noticed that you rectify that in the later posts, but it is still something to point that as many will still read the primary post).

So, if a person is putting so much importance to bring attention to oneself that leads to no interests in anyone else and actions disturbing or hurting others to get it, it is still an extreme. Therefore attention wh0re is an extreme. A person wanting too little attention is risking depriving a natural drive while want too much is disruptive and dangerous to those around her (or him). I don't see your point that it is currency in a woman's world answer my question how a women should be nor negate my statement it is a natural desire (which isn't it part of your point too?) but going to an extreme is the the problem.

 

[STR8UP]

Regardless, all they seem to do is highlight, with ridiculous behavior, all of the negative manifestations of a girl you'd never want to be in any serious relationship with. How you could enjoy watching (or associating with) this socially awkward behavior, well, I have no idea.

Which is exactly why i have no desire to be in a relationship with her.

Why then, would I want to even associate with her?

Well, her attention seeking behavior doesn't negatively effect me any more than if another friend of mine were to cheat on his wife.

I can point out "flaws" in everyone I know, but that doesn't mean i can't have a positive interaction with them.

We don't really "choose" who we become friends with. It's more of an automated process where two people get along and spend time together without consciously thinking about it. So if i spend time with an AW, as long as I am not a "victim" of her personality, why would I care?

I guess that's what I'm picking up on: that you have this strong fascination with her, writing often about her and authoring this thread about your desire to have Rollo to meet her,

Strong fascination? I think this is a case of how once again, this can be taken completely out of context due to the fact that I am posting about this on a message board that has to do with MALE/FEMALE INTERACTIONS.

If you were my good friend and all I did all day long was talk about this one chick, yea, you would be doing me a favor by calling me out on my behavior. but the fact of the matter is, that is what this message board is for!

I hardly ever mention her to my "real life" friends. I bring her up on here often because it is relevant to what we discuss.

You don't think you're a bit obsessive about her?

No.

I had read your other article before, if I'm not mistaken, your thesis is a women needs attention for the sense of validity.

Women derive their sense of "self" from the people they associate with and the reflection they see of themselves in the mirror of society. They rely of feedback from others to feel as if they have a place in society.