Rogue goes rogue

[Rogue]

A few short weeks ago I bought a very cool gothic tshirt (from a tuxedo shop of all places; I was there for a tuxedo shirt and noticed the "extreme couture"  shirt on the wall.) I bought the shirt because it's very cool and wanted to try peacocking for a DJ gig; I find it's rapidly escalating into a full-blown social experiment. I wore the shirt with a blazer and walked around the mall, on my lunch break, and for the few minutes I walked around I sensed I was causing a little commotion everywhere I went. It was capped off by watching the eyes of a HB nearly pop out of her sockets. When I got back to work, some women were up in my business about how I was incredibly stylish.

Seeing how something new was happening, and how I've been meaning to give my preppy wardrobe a gothic overhaul, I bought a Wiccan t-shirt with a prominently sized pentagram and I seem to draw even more curiosity from the ladies. One female friend cougar kept checking it out while I was talking to her; one woman asked from across a street "How's that shirt working for you?"; one stripper was disappointed I'm not wiccan because "we'd have a lot in common." These are all your ordinary mainstream appearing women and there definitely is a gender dynamic involved because only women show curiosity (which is absolutely fine by me!

The question is why?

I'm obviously standing out from the crowd but I don't find that a complete satisfactory explanation because nothing special ever happens when I wear a good suit. I'm an eccentric guy and although it's nice to finally have congruence between my fashion and quirky personality, why is the brazen deviance necessary? Obviously, too, it's not just the clothing which is at work. I have been on a hot streak for several months already.

I have several theories:

- I'm tapping into the alpha male dynamic.
- They figure I must be a freak in bed.
- Women have a dark sense of spirituality.

Discuss.    

 

[Captain Harlock]

do you have pics of the shirts?

 

[horaholic]

Its a mental thing. Wearing something different is giving you some kind of confidence booster. Women dont find those kind of shirts attractive. In fact, most guys that wear shirts like that come off as pretty gay. I've never been a goth, but I have owned some goth shirts, but mostly I've always rocked, offensive, metal, satanic, punk rock, shirts etc. The kind my principal in high school would make me turn inside out. most of the positive attention you get from that is when people with similar interests spot you. For example, If Im ever anywhere where there is no people like me, and I run into one, we have a brotherhood. Some thing for girls. We instantly have something in common. Or thats the way it used to be, before it got all trendy, anyway. Now its pretty commonplace, and when two punks meet each other, they both wonder if the other one is a poser, and are suspicious.Same thing with goth, or metal , or whatever.

I used to get attention, when I was full on punk rock. Big blue mohawks will make heads turn, and there were always girls that would approach me. Unfortunately, I didnt have any game back then to capitalize on it very much. I will say this though, its the ATTITUDE that is attractive, not the clothes or the hair. You have to be congruent with it. If you are gonna look punk rock, you better act like it.

It also depends on where you go. If you are in a preppy place, looking like a scumbag, you will get attention. The places I hang out at, always have a mixture of punks, goths, emos, bikers, tatood scumbags, skinheads, and outlaw cowboys. You really cant stand out by clothes alone.

Oh yeah, and we can spot imposters a mile away too. If a preppy guy comes in our hangouts wearing something like that, he might get fvcked with.

 

[Rogue]

do you have pics of the shirts?

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d81/deepcory/Photo25.jpg

 

[Captain Harlock]

pretty cool shirt. Don't know what's so 'gothic' about it though. I was having something completely different in mind.

 

[user43770]

Graphic tees are the current fad; chicks dig 'em.

 

[DJDamage]

One word: Transmutation.

Since the shirt you picked is pretty trendy/standard now a days, I am willing to bet that these chicks have seen similar shirts worn by guys they have been with or want to be with and thus they transfered their attraction to you.

Or you could just really look good in these shirts.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I wear satanic death metal shirts, but I wear them for the opposite reason you're implying. When people see the blasphemous images on my shirt I want them to hate and fear me.

 

[Luthor Rex]

- Women have a dark sense of spirituality.

Could you explain what you mean by this?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

OK, I'll take a stab at this; it's a combination of things really. First, there's a definite element of peacocking in that you're mixing two disparate styles - work friendly sports coat over goth/punk/tap-out style shirt. The clash of styles makes for a conversation piece.

Secondly, there's a novelty to it for the people who are already familiar with you. Human beings crave a predictable regularity, when you change that up even slightly people have to react in order to reset that predictability for themselves. It would work the same if you were a full blown punker who spontaneously started wearing preppy clothes or Armani suits. Even a new hair style is going to raise eyebrows and make others wonder what's going on with so and so. People like simplicity in being able to assess a person and move on, it's when they can't easily do that that you present a challenge to them.

Last, I think there's also an element of "chick crack" to it. Funny you should mention the Wiccan stripper; of all the strippers I've 'dated' every one subscribed to some form of non-mainstream spiritualism. This girl Angie I used to bang kept Tarot cards in her pink lady's Bible, another professed to be a psychic, etc. These types look for that connection in a guy. For instance I bought a silver yin-yang ring that I've worn for almost 18 years now when I was in community college. I don't really have any eastern mystic beliefs, I just bought it from a street vendor when I felt I needed a reminder to keep balance in my life. But damned if I haven't had more women point it out and ask me about it, and have it be some karmic conversation starter since I got it. The thing is tiny, but that's what they gravitate to.

 

[STR8UP]

I always thought you could pull off an edgier look....

Never underestimate the power of a little peacocking. Mystery wasn't stupid when he made it part of PU culture.

I was actually at BM awhile back with a chick who was wearing a fur type boa. She went to the ladies room and put it on me before she left. Not two minutes later another chick approached me with a comment about it.

Adding a little flair to your wardrobe not only makes you stand out a little, but it also shows a little personality that chicks can relate to. Not to mention it gives them a reason to approach YOU, or even just "check you out" without social repercussions.

A good example of how it gives chicks something to relate to- I was out with one a few weeks ago. She's a freaky/artsy type chick who makes handmade jewelry and sells it as a hobby.

When I was in London recently I had picked up a couple of chains with the little "man charms" on them (I know, that sounded gay). Anyway, the one I was wearing on the "date" has an abstract cross, a key, and the face of a lock with a keyhole.

She latched onto it and tried to place a meaning with it. It was BS....I just bought it because I though it looked cool, but I went along with it and it provided a good baseline for getting her imagination working.

 

[OTB]

I've never been a goth, but I have owned some goth shirts, but mostly I've always rocked, offensive, metal, satanic, punk rock, shirts etc. The kind my principal in high school would make me turn inside out. most of the positive attention you get from that is when people with similar interests spot you.

That's sounds pretty interesting dude, What band's t-shirts did you use to wear back when you were my age? (I am personally quite into the Power, Symphonic, Neoclassical, Folk and Viking subgeneres of metal... but I haven't had the fortune of acquiring clothing from any of these styles of music)

You must have worn some pretty fvckin out-there sh1t back in the day if your High School principal had to personally stop you in the hallways and order you to turn your shirts inside out... Must've been some kind of artwork along the lines of Cannibal Corpse... :crackup:

For example, If Im ever anywhere where there is no people like me, and I run into one, we have a brotherhood. Some thing for girls. We instantly have something in common.

So you're saying that you've successfully met girls in this way?
Solely through a common fashion sense signifying a sense of belonging to a common particular subculture?
Interesting...

I used to get attention, when I was full on punk rock. Big blue mohawks will make heads turn, and there were always girls that would approach me. Unfortunately, I didnt have any game back then to capitalize on it very much. I will say this though, its the ATTITUDE that is attractive, not the clothes or the hair. You have to be congruent with it. If you are gonna look punk rock, you better act like it.

It also depends on where you go. If you are in a preppy place, looking like a scumbag, you will get attention. The places I hang out at, always have a mixture of punks, goths, emos, bikers, tatood scumbags, skinheads, and outlaw cowboys. You really cant stand out by clothes alone.

What kinds of girls would approach you?

Were they only the punk/metal girls that were already into that type of look or were they girls from all across the board including the preppy ones too?

How many times would these hotties approach you per day on average?

About how long would these conversations last until they realized that you had absolutely no confidence or inner game?

What would they approach you with?
"Nice hair... Oh My God, I reaaaally LOVE your style"
^^^^^^^^ Sh1t like that?

Oh yeah, and we can spot imposters a mile away too. If a preppy guy comes in our hangouts wearing something like that, he might get fvcked with.

So how exactly do you scenesters pick up on the odd man out? Is it something akin to a common sense of community that can't be explained by only understood by others within your own group? Something similar to a sixth sense based on some brand of emotional intelligence?

What are the worst things that have happened to the poor individual that was deemed as a "poser" by the majority of the group?

 

[OTB]

I've never been a goth, but I have owned some goth shirts, but mostly I've always rocked, offensive, metal, satanic, punk rock, shirts etc. The kind my principal in high school would make me turn inside out. most of the positive attention you get from that is when people with similar interests spot you.

That's sounds pretty interesting dude, What band's t-shirts did you use to wear back when you were my age? (I am personally quite into the Power, Symphonic, Neoclassical, Folk and Viking subgeneres of metal... but I haven't had the fortune of acquiring clothing from any of these styles of music)

You must have worn some pretty fvckin out-there sh1t back in the day if your High School principal had to personally stop you in the hallways and order you to turn your shirts inside out... Must've been some kind of artwork along the lines of Cannibal Corpse... :crackup:

For example, If Im ever anywhere where there is no people like me, and I run into one, we have a brotherhood. Some thing for girls. We instantly have something in common.

So you're saying that you've successfully met girls in this way?
Solely through a common fashion sense signifying a sense of belonging to a common particular subculture?
Interesting...

I used to get attention, when I was full on punk rock. Big blue mohawks will make heads turn, and there were always girls that would approach me. Unfortunately, I didnt have any game back then to capitalize on it very much. I will say this though, its the ATTITUDE that is attractive, not the clothes or the hair. You have to be congruent with it. If you are gonna look punk rock, you better act like it.

It also depends on where you go. If you are in a preppy place, looking like a scumbag, you will get attention. The places I hang out at, always have a mixture of punks, goths, emos, bikers, tatood scumbags, skinheads, and outlaw cowboys. You really cant stand out by clothes alone.

What kinds of girls would approach you?

Were they only the punk/metal girls that were already into that type of look or were they girls from all across the board including the preppy ones too?

How many times would these hotties approach you per day on average?

About how long would these conversations last until they realized that you had absolutely no confidence or inner game?

What would they approach you with?
"Nice hair... Oh My God, I reaaaally LOVE your style"
^^^^^^^^ Sh1t like that?

Oh yeah, and we can spot imposters a mile away too. If a preppy guy comes in our hangouts wearing something like that, he might get fvcked with.

So how exactly do you scenesters pick up on the odd man out? Is it something akin to a common sense of community that can't be explained by only understood by others within your own group? Something similar to a sixth sense based on some brand of emotional intelligence?

What are the worst things that have happened to the poor individual that was deemed as a "poser" by the majority of the group?

 

[Captain Harlock]

About how long would these conversations last until they realized that you had absolutely no confidence or inner game?

That doesn't matter when you've already gotten their interest, at least not to me. Back when I had zero confidence at all (never approached a girl and that was when I was on a holiday in a popular vacation town in Spain where girls made up 80% of all the people in the club) I still knew how to be smooth when I was approached (which quite honestly shocked me as I'd never thought I'd be approached).

 

[Rogue]

Come to think of it, do you guys ever recall seeing some guy who blends gothic with business attire? I have a good buddy who's gothic and is a dead ringer for Bono; he dresses very stylistically but other than him and maybe one other friend I can't recall ever observing someone blend the styles - not to say they're not out there. I'm never a trend setter and not much of a trend follower but being seen as the trend setter would help explain things.  What girl wouldn't want to fvck the hot guy on the cutting edge (in their eyes)?

As for dark spirituality, I'm not sure what I meant. It's as if women look for guys whose masculine structure will keep from their own self-destructiveness; men are the pillar to a woman's liquidity of emotional volatility; and the fashion, along with my body language, hint at that structure. You dig?

At any rate, I will go over to a gothic store and pick up one or two thumb rings, which should almost complete the new look. I went out to a nightclub this past weekend and I can attest that couplings of hot bisexual girls find me very noticeable. ;-)