ROck solid confidence

[judoguy]

How do you guys build up long lasting confidence? I mean there will be a few nights in a row where I have girls texting me nonstop and everything is great getting hook ups at the bar whatever.... then all of a sudden a few days will pass I will have no day2's... get a rejection and get really depressed

How do you guys keep up the "state" so to speak or keep that confidence good mood elevated?

** Please do not say things like, "get a hobby, girls shouldnt control your confidence" ... I already have hobbies, they shouldnt but they do**

 

[Scars]

How do you guys build up long lasting confidence? I mean there will be a few nights in a row where I have girls texting me nonstop and everything is great getting hook ups at the bar whatever.... then all of a sudden a few days will pass I will have no day2's... get a rejection and get really depressed

How do you guys keep up the "state" so to speak or keep that confidence good mood elevated?

** Please do not say things like, "get a hobby, girls shouldnt control your confidence" ... I already have hobbies, they shouldnt but they do**

It's exactly what you DON'T want to hear, but here it is.

You need to stop putting your happiness in your success with woman. Girls are the ones that get validation and satisfaction from attention. You are a MAN. You need to shed these girly-boy AFC qualities.

You know what you need to take pride in? Your success. REAL success. Take pride in your job/career. Don't have one? Start working at it. You can pride yourself everyday knowing you are getting closer to your goals. Take pride in your hobbies, or put more time into them. You are obviously not spending enough time on them because you are spending your free time complaining about woman. Use your hobbies to build your confidence and distract your thoughts from not having any woman. We all go through dry periods sometimes. It's no big deal. During the down time start working on yourself. Set goals for yourself and work on them. Go to the gym, save up for something you've always wanted. Go take a road trip. Go do something. If you want confidence then start working on your happiness. Confidence is being able to walk through life unaffected by all the negative energy that tries to put you down. If you are happy, you feel on top of the world. Nothing can put you down.

There is no satisfaction in success with woman, and if there is, then it's only temporary. Work on yourself and your LIFE, that is FOREVER.

-Scars

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

It's easy to be confident when the world is beating a path to your door.

But when the herd moves on, is when you learn about yourself and whether your sh!t is real or not.

I have advanced tremendously since making the conscious decision to go after what I want from life with little attention for social matters and screwing women. I'm not a hermit; I interact with people at work everyday, I go see old friends from time to time, I'm active in the Shrine, etc., but as a rule I need nor expect no validation from others. I don't need it, and in yet another great irony of life, I have grown socially since deciding to abstain from rampant socialization.

 

[Galactus]

Scars and Julius both make a lot of sense.

I think a lot of guys focus too much on just getting laid, and not on developing an actual life, on becoming a complete man. Even if you can manage to summon a little confidence, you can't maintain it for long if you don't have other areas of your life together.

You hear "get a hobby" a lot, because people are trying to say that you can't spend every waking minute obsessing about broads. Other things a man needs to take care of include paying bills, doing his job well, socializing, cleaning his home, getting exercise, getting enough sleep, reading, and on and on.

If your life is deficient in the important areas, it's like having a car that starts with no problem, but it has no gas, no wheels, and no seats. You're kind of screwed, but hey it starts right up. But so what?

When everything is in great working order, it all runs like a well-oiled machine. So if you want to have confidence, work on getting it all together.

Only you know what you ultimately want in life. Once you have that figured out, make that your central focus, while maintaining the other important stuff. Do what you want. As long as no one's getting hurt, then don't even think about giving a sh1t what anyone else says.

If you truly don't care about other's negative feedback, and you don't need their approval, you'll see your success with women improve.

 

[PapiChulo]

Advice from a modern guy:

stop caring about women
take advantage of women as much as possible
do yourself
don't subscribe to any feminist crap
dont give a **** about others

that's some downright low stuff I included there

 

[DanelMadr]

How do you guys build up long lasting confidence? I mean there will be a few nights in a row where I have girls texting me nonstop and everything is great getting hook ups at the bar whatever.... then all of a sudden a few days will pass I will have no day2's... get a rejection and get really depressed

How do you guys keep up the "state" so to speak or keep that confidence good mood elevated?

** Please do not say things like, "get a hobby, girls shouldnt control your confidence" ... I already have hobbies, they shouldnt but they do**

Basically you have to be proud of yourself. Not taking yourself too seriously ofcourse and not giving a shyt what stupid people think (it is interesting that good/strong people will seldom try to critisize you).

You achieve that by accomplishing things you are afraid of. Even trying can get your confidence up. You always fvck up...everytime there is something you could do better, just don't take it too hard on yourself....laufg at it and try again.

Men need to kill a bear. University diplomas, bed notches from HB10s and money won't do it.
You have to kill a bear.
You have to conquer the fear of death. Nothing less, I'm afraid.
The coolest/strongest people I know had some serious near death experiences. Maybe you know someone yourself, then you can agree.

 

[Galactus]

Not taking yourself too seriously ofcourse and not giving a shyt what stupid people think (it is interesting that good/strong people will seldom try to critisize you).

That's a really good point. They don't criticize because they got it together and don't feel the need to control others, trying to make them what they think someone else should be.

I never killed a bear, but what puts me back on firm ground is remembering what I've been through in life. That's a whole other thing, but let's just say I've been through some hell in my life, the kind of things that would have caused a weaker man to kill himself.

Whenever I feel immobilized by fear or worry, and I hesitate to do something minor like approach a woman because she could reject me, I remind myself that if I could go through the sh1t I went through and come out with my sanity intact, then there's nothing in daily life that should faze me in the least.

Think of all the horrible sh1t that has happened to people throughout history. Imagine the worst hell that could be inflicted on a person. Do you think that anybody who lived through something like that would worry about the kinds of things we discuss on this forum?

Develop that kind of an attitude. This is nothing. They're just women, for fvck's sake. Talk to them. If they don't like you, you'll live. Try going through some real horrifying misery and see if after that, you're frightened of a pair of t1ts.

 

[todays_news]

Please do not say things like, "get a hobby, girls shouldnt control your confidence" ... I already have hobbies, they shouldnt but they do**

In relation to that....

There are always going to be times when things are dull and depressing, but everybody gets them. Even the happiest people or those most succesful with women etc. Theres no remedy for it. Just wait it out and the good times will roll -eventually.

In terms of dry spells, I'm having one now and it feels like I dont even want any women around me as they seem to piss me off just having conversations. Like if I'm out, I just wanna chill with friends, I just find them uninteresting at the moment. But nevertheless I know its just a phase.