Rock Bottom--advice via Interceptor

[reset]

This is a post from my man Interceptor, directed to a guy who didn't feel much hope. The thread has been deleted, for reasons which don't need to be elaborated on.

Fortunately I copied and saved this post before the thread was deleted.

If it's really BAD for you right now--- like REALLY BAD and you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel--- if your thoughts are getting the best of you--- if you feel like you're going through one of those "turning point" moments but don't know exactly what to make of it, if you feel everyone in your life has let you down and the human race is something you can't handle, this slightly edited post is for you.




...You are killing your psyche.

You are choosing to regress and wallow in Self Pity.

...I am going to tell you something that will stand out in your mind for the rest of your Life.

This MUST be the BASIS for your Perspective on LIFE, until Consciousness in the Earth is RAISED.

You CANNOT EXPECT things from people.
Even your parents.
Get used to the idea that we all grw up thinking that the love and attention we got from our parents is how the World WORKS. That EVERYONE we Love WILL in fact , give back this LOVE in the SAME Manner. UNCONDITIONALLY and ENDLESS.
This is not happening for the time being. The sooner you realize that, the better off you will be.



You cannot EXPECT Help and Support and Loyalty and Reciprocation from People.

You must learn to understand that what People GIVE you is BY THEIR Choice, NOT YOURS.

Anything you want from people, and are tyring to "GET" will only SLIP AWAY FASTER.

Whe you try to USE People to FILL UP A VOID in your SELF.......... You are two steps behind and falling further behind.

You cannot EXPECT People to Fill YOU Up.

That can ONLY COME FROM INSIDE you.
You and ONLY YOU can TRULY "LOVE" YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.
And yes, YOU have the POWER to do that. Loving youself is a choice.
You are clearly not making that choice.
this is the cold hard bitter truth.......
.........the more you try to GET and TAKE from people, and the MORE you 'expect' from PEOPLE, the LESS they WILL GIVE to YOU.

You MUST be SELF Sufficient.
You must be SELF RELIANT.
You must be SELF ASSURED.
You must HAVE SELF ESTEEM!
You must RECOGNIZE your SELF WORTH! Even in the face of bullsh*t "EViDENCE"!!!
WHy?
Because that "EVIDENCE" means you are LOOKING to the OUTSIDE to VALIDATE you! You are seeking APPROVAL of YOUSELF!

From who?

From everyone EXCEPT the MOST IMPORTANT Person....YOU.

The more you are NEEDY, the LESS people will give.
The more you NEED support, the less they will support you.
THE MORE you try TO TAKE...the LESS YOU WILL GET!

THE ONLY HELP THAT YOU WILL GET..IS ONLY ONLY ONLY ONLY WHEN YOU HELP YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!!!!!!

ONLY ONLY ONLY.
YOU MUST HELP YOURSELF FIRST!

IF not, no one will step up and do what you can do.

THERE IS NO BETTER HELP THAN SELF HELP.

OTHERWISE, you will NOT build SElf Esteem from your own self help!
You will learn to be NEEDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

You must recognize that whatever Love and Affection you get is a GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is one of the MOST IMPORTANT Premises and Perspectives YOU MUST have as a Mature Masculine Realized Man.
You cannot go out looking for reciprocity and expecting Behavior from people. No no no.
The only reason you feel that this is wrong, and you feel the world has wronged you ,and that you are OWED something by people is because you have NOT YET RECOGNIZED your SELF WORTH!!!!!!!!!!!
AND CANNOT at this TIME LOVE YOURSELF .

You LACK Self LOVE.
So in order to FILL THAT VOID.......YOU ARE EXPECTING OTHERS TO FILL IT FOR YOU!

THIS IS WRONG

WRONG

WRONG

WRONG

Your GOAL in Life is to be Independent.


And find Happiness the WAY YOU want it.
The most important recognition comes from yourself.
The most important beliefs and opinions are your own.
The most valuable Validation comes from yourself.
You probably will not agree to a lot of this.
Why?
Because of your current Point of View.
What is that POV?
That you EXPECT people to be good to you, because you are good to them.

This is wrong.. my friend.
You place too much importance and meaning on outside sources and people. This is wrong.
And here's something you have to consider..
your Beliefs are responsible for what you FEEL RIGHT NOW.

Its true.
The reason you feel this way is BECAUSE OF the MATRIX/Belief SYSTEM YOU HAVE Subscribed to.
Im going to let you read this and let it sink in.
You are not to reply until you have read this thoroughly and have come up with concret questions.

Do not wallow in Self Pity.
Do not glamorize or canonize yourself for suffering.


Ok, Take some time right now.
Take a deep breath and get yourself together.

We will help you through this.
But I warn you, if you don't own up to your mistakes,dont take responsibility,
live in denial and rationalizing, and continue the "Woe is Me." attitude, you will be losing one of the greatest opportunities you can even imagine.

There are guys who came back from Iraq right now whom have no arms or legs, and are badly scarred.
Many of them are actually Happy and resolvent and un shakeable.
They've seen buddies blown up, body parts everywhere. They've lost good friends, and have horrible memories, and severe severe trauma and physical ailments.
Many of them want to stay active and keep helping others in any way they can.

Stand back, gain proper perspective, use Observing Ego.
Realize that this moment RIGHT NOW is one of the GREATEST moments of your Life.
It is one of the crowning points of achievement in your life.

I am not lying to you.
What you are about to do, and the journey you are about to embark on will change your life and the lives of people around you forever.

The self esteem you will build STARTING NOW will remain untouched forever and no one can ever EVER take it away from you.The accomplishments you will begin to do will be outside of your imagination......

It all starts now.


Begin.

 

[SinJester]

Everyone should, nay needs, to read this. I am not at that low point you speak of, but I recognise its importance. It helps re-affirm the most important point of the DJ.

You CANNOT EXPECT things from people.

Realize this and it is much harder to fall into depression.

 

[iqqi]

Good job Reset, I wish I would have copied the whole damned thread, there was SO much gold in that. Does anyone have what Victory Unlimited posted?

 

[Z Man]

I am self-sufficient, realize I am not perfect, strongly independent, and enjoy being alone sometimes...

But it is still easy to fall and get upset when you lead, organize, and make plans with other people( for your own purposes ) and it all falls apart!

I know, I know, I put too much importance on it.

Hard to change when I have been raised to believe that I won't "go to heaven" without a wife.

I don't need others to find salvation and appreciate life, and yet I do. There is the rub.

Good post nonetheless.

 

[Evolution]

If only I learned this a few years ago. It would have me a lot back then.

If you internalize this stuff and take it to heart. Your well on your way to becoming a more mature person.

 

[ExcelNPrevail]

Great advice. From what I've noticed in my life it is very true ...astonishingly true.

:rockon: This should be stickied immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rockon:

 

[Interceptor]

Hey Thanks, Reset.

I hope it helps someone out there.


Thanks for your support, Reset, Iqqi , and everyone.

 

[KontrollerX]

That may be the best post Interceptor has ever made up to this point and with being such a great poster as he is thats saying a hell of a lot.

Anyway I don't know if Iqqi was referring to the original thread Gerard posted that got deleted or the second thread that was posted by her about the first post being deleted but anyway I saved the entire second thread to get Interceptor's post incase no one else saved it and as a result of that I have Victory Unlimited's post in the second thread so I'll post it below.

Oh and what should be noted about VU's post is that Christopher Reeves got that winning mindset despite his paralysis thanks to the help of Anthony Robbins which is another one of the great things that man has done to make him one of my personal heroes in life but without further ado the VU post from that thread lol...

Yo Gerard,






For me, the ROCK that keeps me standing during the darkest of times is my Spiritual beliefs. But unlike many, my spiritual beliefs are not the product of childhood training, traditional church indoctrination, OR “societal pressures”.

My spiritual beliefs come as much from meditations on mine and OTHERS’ real life experiences, as they do from what many would call sacred scriptures. Mine is not a faith that born from naivety, or a need to deny reality, BUT from a recognition of certain truths that resonate within me. Truths that I have found have proven to be MORE than safe to build each level of my life upon.

I would suggest to you, that in addition to the uplifting, and positive advice you’ve already received from the good men and women here, that you may give some thought to the possibility of exploring your spirituality------in whatever way that seems “right” to you.

But to each his own----and much RESPECT to any and all who see things differently.

Now having said ALL that, my brother, I would also ask you to consider changing your focus. There is no lasting value in engaging in excess-navel picking. And there is also no lasting value in crying out for help either-----IF you are determined to refuse ALL of it. For that would only make you an Attention Whhore, wouldn’t it? But judging from the depth, and insights that your past posts seem to indicate--------YOU are far from that.

You are just marching through a deep level of darkness at this moment. And from the sound of it, it seems as if that it’s a FAMILIAR darkness. But this CAN BE your chance to change your life forever for the better. How?

By changing your perspective. By CHOOSING to look at your life through a more positive, more self-benefiting lens. My friend, there are men fighting wars across this globe who have more pressing concerns right now than not being able to find the right chick YET, not being able to make many friends YET, or feeling so bored with the sameness of life that they have the “luxury” of devaluing it by seriously considering suicide.

No, their biggest concern right now is probably just trying to stay alive, trying to save their OTHER leg from being blown off, and trying to get back home where they CAN have the luxury of leading a “boring and seemingly unfruitful” life AGAIN.

Your PAST does not have to equal your FUTURE.

Count your blessings my man. Take some time to list AND APPRECIATE all the things that you usually take for granted------things that if you didn’t have them, your life would definitely be even more negatively impacted.

I have found that an attitude of GRATITUDE is a powerful weapon in overcoming a spirit of DEPRESSION.

Field Report:

One Christmas, years ago, after the death of my Grandmother (who raised me, who I took care of for many years due to her prolonged battle with illness), I was thinking in a similar fashion as you----NOT suicide, but definitely ambivalence over living or dying. At the time, my life was filled with the mundane. No women worth anything in my life, dealing with chronic health issues, working the most mundane of jobs, etc. You get the picture…Anyway, while I was deep into “hour three” of my self-pity party, I was distracted by the sound of laughter. Somebody on CNN was laughing like hell, almost hysterically so.

I turned the sound up-----it was CHRISTOPHER REEVE. Here he was, a quadriplegic, strapped to a machine, with a tube connected to his throat-----talking and chuckling about how much he was enjoying his day.

What the FUKK????

And here I was, with problems, and dealing with adversities that were nowhere NEAR as challenging as his must have been, YET, I was the one wallowing in my own self-magnified grief like a BIIITCH. Needless to say, it didn’t take me long after seeing that to snap the fukk out of it and get over my mutherfukkin’ self.

That’s the day I started purposely reminding myself to always try to have an attitude of gratitude. Sure, there are still dark times. I’m fighting my way through a NEW barrage of them as I’m writing this right now, but still----I MARCH ON.

Why?

Because my mindset now is that every day ABOVE ground is a “good” day-----if for no other reason, than just because another day alive is another day to GET IT RIGHT.

So don’t be in too big a hurry to end your own life, because there are many factors AND FOLKS out here just waiting in line to end it for you. So why the fukk would you want to add YOURSELF to their number????

YOUR mission is to fight on---to live life to the fullest-----to make an impact----so that by the time you EVENTUALLY pass away….you will have left a mark in the lives of others---AND ON THIS WORLD, so indelible that it can’t be ERASED.

 

[iqqi]

Wow, that is so cool that you did that! Pat on the back.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Good post Spirtual/Tactical Officer INTERCEPTOR.:rockon:

And thanks to ALL you troops for thinking enough, caring enough, and being quick enough to SAVE it.

Falling into DEPRESSION is like falling down a flight of stairs into a pit...and I KNOW that there is indeed VALUE in those of us who care----taking the time and effort to try to prevent "the weary" from hitting ROCK BOTTOM.

 

[BuckeyeBrigadier]

It's interesting really. I've read a **** load of material from this site and I have to say that all of it is fantastic. Many disregard it as manipulative BS designed to take advantage of women. At first I had a view similar to this but soon I really started to read the material and it clicked with me. Much of this stuff sparked somewhat of an epiphany in my mind and laid out in simple terms the dynamics of attraction.

Even with that epiphany however, I'm still one of those 20+ year-old virgins who have never had anything resembling a relationship with a girl, never been out on a date, kissed one girl, and have barely anything resembling a social life. These are of the causes of my unhappiness and my low self-esteem. Ever since I've been born, I've never had much of a social life but it never really bothered me until the first year of college flew by and I hadn't made any friends. Guess the college hype got to me.

The real cause of my self-esteem problems though stem from the fact that, despite what I want to believe, I don't truly like myself. I can look in the mirror, smile, and say "You are the man! You are a god!" but deep down I know that's a lie. I want to get to a point where I won't even have to tell myself those things because I already know that I'm awesome. I want to be able to think about friends and girls as mere accessories to my life. Sure they're awesome, like that PS3 or that sweet HDTV, but you're just as good with them as you are without them. That's my goal when I visit this site. To truly become a man that respects himself and loves himself, haters be damned.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Talk about being proud!

I'm proud of all of the posters in this thread. Especially those ranking officers who had the mental fortitude to save these posts in order to help a soldier in the future.

There is true comraderie within the Brotherhood of SoSuave and it makes me smile.

 

[Interceptor]

I'm proud of all of the posters in this thread. Especially those ranking officers who had the mental fortitude to save these posts in order to help a soldier in the future.

There is true comraderie within the Brotherhood of SoSuave and it makes me smile.

I second that.
I wasn't expecting Reset and Kontroller to do that. That shows the kind of character and decisiveness that is exemplary.

Thanks , guys.

 

[sandman6991]

Very nice!!!

 

[Royal Ace]

best thread i've read in weeks, and it came right on time. god damn!

right on

 

[JohnnyIrish]

Well said!

 

[RAFCToMackStatus]

I actually needed to hear somethin like this man.

 

[redspicyflag]

bumpity

 

[Desert Fox]

I needed this...like right now. Thank you guys so much...if there was a Nobel Prize for being awesome you'd win every year.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

It´s about time we create his Ebook!!

"Your mission, your life!"

I think that in terms of self awareness, Inteceptor is unshakable. We had better create some sort of Inteceptor Bible before he disappears like Pook did. I think that Interceptor is one of the greatest posters here ever.

I always used the quote "Know thyself", and what interceptor says easily matches that. Besides this, I posted this small manual on how to understand ourselves.

Understanding ourselves probably aids self-acceptance, self-control, and good relationships. But selfunderstanding only comes from interacting with others; we know ourselves in comparison to others. So, the two--self-awareness and insight into relationships--develop together. Indeed, we have a relationship with ourselves as well as with others. Jo Courdet in Advice From A Failure observes: "Of all the people you will know in a life time, you are the only one you will never lose." This relationship with the "me" inside is crucial; the better we know ourselves, the better we know others, since our perception of our own selfprovides us with our primary means of understanding all other humans.

Why are so many relationships unhappy?

There are many reasons. Sydney Jourard and Ted Landsman (1980) say a healthy relationship has (1) open, honest communication, (2) reasonable expectations or demands of each other, (3) concern about the other's well being and (4) freedom for both to be themselves. That sounds pretty easy but is it? What interferes with healthy relationships? Hamachek (1982) says (1) we underestimate the changes we need to make but push too hard for other people to change, (2) not liking ourselves is usually associated with not liking other people, (3) shyness inhibits closeness and intimacy with others and (4) playing deceptive, selfserving "games" will drive others away. Brown (1995) describes the decline of true intimacy in our culture and tries to explain why Americans are becoming more and more unable to sustain meaningful relationships.

"The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is the knowledge of our own ignorance."