RLE: Never Become Complacent

[goldengoose]

A very misleading thread. The Exception again talks about his girlfriend hanging out with orbiters 1 on 1.

What are you going to do when an orbiter makes a move on her? Are you going to be OK with that? She brings orbiters to your place alone when you're not home. He will make a move on her inside your place. She is being disrespectful to you. Not only that, but she is putting herself in a situations where things will happen. She is not being responsible and putting herself in awkward situations that will have to defend herself if she wants to. Those are red flags you need to look out for.

Are you hanging out with chicks alone 1 on 1?

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There is a HUGE difference between a woman hanging out with chump beta orbiters and a woman hanging out with an ex love interest........members on sosuave may not see the difference and demand she never hang out with ANY other males.....but that is foolish advice and fear misplaced. THESE....are the type of situations to avoid and to see how you girlfriend/plate/wife handles them......is almost a "male sh1t test". You should be judging and if she handles it wrong.....you confront. This would be an appropriate time for a "thunderbolt".

Confronting does no good when you already allowed her to hang out with other men before. Looks like you are OK with her hanging out with men who you feel are lower in value. What are you going to do when she wants to hang out with a guy you don't want her to?

 

[TheException]

Are you saying that a woman can lose attraction at any time regardless of hoe alpha you are?1

No.

I am saying if men become complacent in relationships.....they can slowly erode into betadom. They bend over backward for their girlfriend more often, they make more concessions, etc etc. This results in the girlfriend losing attraction and ultimately ends up with her looking for a new guy(branch swinging) or her finding herself being turned on by other men.

These men never see it coming......never think that a woman would stick with you "no matter what" or "until death do us part" if you begin to act like a chump.

Of course boundaries are necessary, when you agreed to be monogamous with your gf, you both placed a boundary on each other that you wouldn't fvck anyone else.

I have boundaries as should every guy. They are firmly in place. We were talking about the specific boundary of "banning her from having any sort of interaction with men". No male friends, no guys from class, no childhood friends, nothing. There is a sect of CWAFs who find that disrespectful because it "leads to a possibility of cheating"......I do not.

This "monopolizing male attention" thing that you keep talking about sounds like a bullsh!t excuse to me. It's in our nature as men to want to fvck other women even when we're in a relationship. We put that desire aside however out of respect for the relationship. If a woman can't put away this supposed desire to hang out with other men while she's in a relationship then she's simply not relationship worthy.

Here

Its well written and I share the same viewpoint. You can think its "bullsh1t" all you want, but your views should be based upon something tangible. Remember.....male and female needs are different. You cant compare men and women like you did above...thats apples and oranges.

 

[JoeMarron]

I have boundaries as should every guy. They are firmly in place. We were talking about the specific boundary of "banning her from having any sort of interaction with men". No male friends, no guys from class, no childhood friends, nothing. There is a sect of CWAFs who find that disrespectful because it "leads to a possibility of cheating"......I do not.

Here

Its well written and I share the same viewpoint. You can think its "bullsh1t" all you want, but your views should be based upon something tangible. Remember.....male and female needs are different. You cant compare men and women like you did above...thats apples and oranges.

We were not talking about banning her from interacting with men. I and I'm assuming Danger and others who disagree with you are talking about hanging out with other men one on one. Flirting with a man and going over to a male friend's house to hang out are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Just like we don't need to fvck other women while in a relationship, females don't need to hang out with other men while in a relationship. Naturally a woman is going to have some social contact with other men but there's absolutely no reason why a woman in a relationship needs to be going on movie dates with other men or hanging out at another man's house.

 

[TheException]

We were not talking about banning her from interacting with men. I and I'm assuming Danger and others who disagree with you are talking about hanging out with other men one on one.

Your point is now clarified and I would agree more than disagree with it.....its pretty obvious. But Danger is not saying that......he has said multiple times that he avoids women who have "male friends". He does not tolerate women hanging out with any other men but himself because it "creates an environment for cheating" to occur. Its a very paranoid and fearful mindset. Even though its a personal "boundary" its based upon fear under the guise of "disrespect".

Women really dont have any business hanging out 1 on 1 with other men and as ive said one million times.....a girl with high interest will naturally avoid these situations. The boundary is unnecessary in this instance because if she wants to hang out with a guy.....she will shove your boundary up your a$$ and hang out with him. One of the biggest theories of "game" is that you cannot force women to do things or change just for you......they are as they are.

Just like we don't need to fvck other women while in a relationship, females don't need to hang out with other men while in a relationship.

Are you comparing fvcking a girl and a woman hanging out with a man as equal offenses?

 

[goldengoose]

Women really dont have any business hanging out 1 on 1 with other men and as ive said one million times.....a girl with high interest will naturally avoid these situations.

I have boundaries as should every guy. They are firmly in place. We were talking about the specific boundary of "banning her from having any sort of interaction with men". No male friends, no guys from class

The boundary is unnecessary in this instance because if she wants to hang out with a guy she will shove your boundary up your a$$ and hang out with him

You make no sense with what you are saying. It's a total contradiction.

Women really dont have any business hanging out 1 on 1 with other men and as ive said one million times.....a girl with high interest will naturally avoid these situations.

How come your girlfriend was hanging out with another dude at your place when you weren't home? You allowed her to do that.

I have boundaries as should every guy. They are firmly in place.

What boundaries do you have firmly in place when you allow her to talk and hang out alone with other men?

We were talking about the specific boundary of "banning her from having any sort of interaction with men". No male friends, no guys from class

A guy from class who she is attracted to isn't capable of banging her?

The boundary is unnecessary in this instance because if she wants to hang out with a guy she will shove your boundary up your a$$ and hang out with him

Then basically you have no boundaries with your girlfriend, because you feel it's unnecessary to have one when she shoves it up your ass for a guy she wants to hang out with. That's beta thinking all the way Exception.

What boundaries do you have firmly in place with your girlfriend when she is talking and hanging out with other men?

What are you going to do when an orbiter makes a move on her? Are you going to be OK with that? She is putting herself in a position that can harm your relationship. Is that what high quality women do?

 

[JoeMarron]

Are you comparing fvcking a girl and a woman hanging out with a man as equal offenses?

No but women can control urges just like men can. Whatever need women have to monopolize male attention can be controlled if they choose to do so.

I don't see placing boundaries as a preventative measure. It's simply a method of screening. If a girl doesn't like it then she's not relationship material. If she gives you drama about it later then she's not relationship material. If she violates it then she's not relationship material.

It's not even about high interest. A girl can have high interest and still break a boundary out of ignorance. Let's say I really hated girls wearing skirts, if I don't tell her my boundary then she won't know not to do it. If she knows my boundary and breaks it anyways then she's blatantly disrespecting me and I know to get rid of her. We're men, we're giving up our urge to fvck a variety of women for exclusivity with one. It's our right to set up any boundaries we please, no matter how ridiculous they may seem to others. If a chick doesn't like it oh well, on to the next one. Women sure as hell dont have a problem with making a list of demands for their ideal mate.

 

[asa_don]

Um lets think about this for a second. If its some guys in high school that just graduated from college why in the heck he still got her number . i mean most girls high school i bang, play dated or whatever wouldn't know i exist and i wouldn't know how to contacted them. Also why would a guy that hasn't seen girl in a while feel comfortable to actually ask her out. . two any woman with a brain in her head is going play the honest girlfriend and front of her man jeez get a grip dude. Im not hating but if she was truly loyal she would show you the text of dude and down play him instead engaging conversation with him. another thing that creeping on my common sense radar if the dude was truly random and she had no clue of who it was why the hell would she even respond if you got text from unsaved number in your phone would you respond. but hey your girl awesome for being honest in front of you

yeah man, i said something isn't right about this myself. why would some guy she dated for only 2 weeks over 4 years ago still have her number? she made a big deal out of some random guy who shouldn't even be important to her. its like she wanted him to know this guy was texting her and she made a scene to see his reaction. the dude banged her during those 2 weeks, i'm sure of that because of her reaction. she even said she dated him.

CWAFs believe "hanging out with other men" = cheating. I dont necessarily believe thats the case all the time. Like I said....women are free to have guy friends because I view them as no threat. Im just secure in myself. If it bothers you....go ahead and set that as a "boundary".

what's a cwaf?

do you believe that's the case some of the time? you would need a boundary for those times, right? what about the guy friend you see as threat that she starts hanging out with? what do you do then with no boundaries?

 

[TheException]

No but women can control urges just like men can. Whatever need women have to monopolize male attention can be controlled if they choose to do so.

Well then dont use the two in a comparison.

Monopolizing male attention is NOT an urge. Its biological. Its a process. Its more complicated than just telling woman "to control it". Its like emotions and women......do you just tell her to "control her emotions" to? I believe you mentioned you are in a LTR.....so you have experienced times where your girlfriend gets all worked up. They DO control certain things like how much of a s1ut they are....but they do not control emotions or their need to monopolize attention.

I don't see placing boundaries as a preventative measure. It's simply a method of screening. If a girl doesn't like it then she's not relationship material. If she gives you drama about it later then she's not relationship material. If she violates it then she's not relationship material.

I understand this point and I think we agree upon boundaries being used as a screening process......but my point was digging deeper here. I do believe every man can have their own boundaries, but what makes a man develop his boundaries? Its a very complicated question and probably cannot be fully answered in a paragraph or two but the point I was trying to make is that EVEN THOUGH you are screening for a woman who respects your boundary of "not having any other males in their lives besides yourself".......the boundary itself is based upon fear. You fear she will put herself in situations where cheating CAN occur. You fear she will cheat. You say to yourself "why would I even give her the opportunity to cheat?".......its a fear based reaction with no evidence whatsoever to support it.

Fear is one he11 of an emotion and it has turned the entire sex of men into sniveling chumps.

It's not even about high interest. A girl can have high interest and still break a boundary out of ignorance.

Women dont cheat out of "ignorance". Period.

Girls dont just slip, trip, and fall on some other guys d1ck. When women cheat.....its often well crafted and planned out. I believe that article I linked talked about this very thing. ITS ALWAYS ABOUT HIGH INTEREST. Thats the number one thing guys need to focus on in relationships with women.

It's our right to set up any boundaries we please, no matter how ridiculous they may seem to others. If a chick doesn't like it oh well, on to the next one. Women sure as hell dont have a problem with making a list of demands for their ideal mate.

A fair point.....and one I agree with. You can make whatever "boundaries" you want.....but that doesnt mean they are "good boundaries". If someone wants to make boundaries based in fear and honestly believe that is what is best for them.....then they can do that all day with every girl. But guess what.....relationships are give and take. "Bad boundaries" are just as bad as "no boundaries". For instance....the guys on here that use the boundary of "no more than 5 sexual partners".......a completely ridiculous boundary. They are free to have it, but they will be disappointed over and over in life and this boundary will hinder their growth. Instead....they should get over this insecurity and learn to enjoy women for who they are....not what their "number is".

But I cannot force anyone to do anything....

what's a cwaf?

do you believe that's the case some of the time? you would need a boundary for those times, right? what about the guy friend you see as threat that she starts hanging out with? what do you do then with no boundaries?

CWAF = A guy that Constantly Worries About Fidelity - Its a term used to describe guys who either think women cheat excessively, cheat anytime they are with another man, or still have yet to conquer jealousy and insecurity in regards to other men.

1. Yes I do believe some of the time that is the case.

2. No. I do not believe you need boundaries for those times. Trying to prevent women from cheating is a futile effort.

3. "Guy friends" are no threat.

4. I never said I dont have boundaries.....I just dont have ones based on a fear of women cheating.