right time to get married?

[2Rocky]

Since the core of most divorces is money, I'm going to say when both people have their financial $hit together. Regardless of age.

Assuming 4 year college graduate, with a job. Or Trade school grad established and fully vested in union or established in a trade.

I think both parties need to own a house or apartment (with the bank of course) Then one of them will be rented out for some passive income, saving to buy another rental property.

Once there are 2 rental properties providing income, then the wife can get pregnant and quit her job to raise kids. She then can deal with the rental property while the husband grows his career. The key here is the cashflow from the rental property becomes her "salary". Worst case scenario, In the case of a divorce, she takes the rentals and leaves his salary and retirement alone. (consult an attorney on pre and post nuptial agreements.)

I'd almost recommend a kid's "College fund" be used to make a down payment on a house of some sort, and take advantage of low student loan rates and generous payback options.

 

[RickTheToad]

Since the core of most divorces is money, I'm going to say when both people have their financial $hit together. Regardless of age.

Assuming 4 year college graduate, with a job. Or Trade school grad established and fully vested in union or established in a trade.

I think both parties need to own a house or apartment (with the bank of course) Then one of them will be rented out for some passive income, saving to buy another rental property.

Once there are 2 rental properties providing income, then the wife can get pregnant and quit her job to raise kids. She then can deal with the rental property while the husband grows his career. The key here is the cashflow from the rental property becomes her "salary". Worst case scenario, In the case of a divorce, she takes the rentals and leaves his salary and retirement alone. (consult an attorney on pre and post nuptial agreements.)

I'd almost recommend a kid's "College fund" be used to make a down payment on a house of some sort, and take advantage of low student loan rates and generous payback options.

Poor plan.

Chances a female not divorced, with no baby daddy and not from rich parents in her 20's or early/mid 30's will not probably own real estate in major metro areas.

Pre-nup 1st list all his/her assets. Agreement that all assets which are his stay his, and continue to stay his. His bank accounts are his, and her's are hers. You transfer the home into an LLC and the LLC "rents" the house to you and your wife. Thus, either can be evicted if sh!t hits the fan. It's best for any business or real assets are transferred to an irrevocable trust prior to marriage; thus a judge cannot award her your assets.

Non-negotiables in the pre-nup:
1) Each party is responsible for their own legal fees.
2) She will move out within 2 weeks notice of any separation or divorce filing. Husband will provide $2500.00 in relocation expenses for wife.
3) Private or personal accounts are separate and will not be distributed to other spouse in the advent of a divorce.
4) Commingled accounts are subject to equitable distribution
5) Waiver of any and all spousal support and maintenance

 

[Modern Man Advice]

When do you guys think is the right age to get married at? Im 25 and seriously getting tired of the games with all these women I started going out and partying since like 15 so I have had my share of fun. Im thinking of proposing this summer to my girlfriend "HB9" who I know will accept but somehow in the back of my mind Im thinking it might still be to soon. The other thing is she is 20 years old hot looking and very nice, I got to her before the world turned her into a common *****. Whats your opinion on marriage?

More than a matter of age is a matter of having your ducks in a row.

What do your finances look like?
Are you financially stable and almost free (debt, investments, etc)?
Are you aligned with your purpose?
Does what you do for a living entail your purpose?
Do you feel fulfilled in that regard?
Getting married often translated to a loss of some things like freedom to call your own shots, have you accomplished most of what you set ought to accomplish when single?
Are you happy internally? Meaning does happiness radiate from within or do you need external factors to feel "happiness"?
Do you love yourself first?

So many questions I can go on forever but the reality is that most men haven't even scratched the surface of their purpose or potential up until 35+. In my eyes, someone at your age (generally speaking*) is still a kid both in mindset and in life stability.

Marriage is not an equal opportunity between men and women. At least not in the eyes of the law. Understand that.

If you have assets, make sure to sign a prenup. If she doesn't like it, then what she probably doesn't like is the fact that she won't end up with your assets if things go south, not that you don't trust her. A prenub should not come from a sense of mistrust but rather a sense of self-respect for what you have worked for, for yourself as an individual, as a man.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Stuffnu]

More than a matter of age is a matter of having your ducks in a row.

What do your finances look like?
Are you financially stable and almost free (debt, investments, etc)?
Are you aligned with your purpose?
Does what you do for a living entail your purpose?
Do you feel fulfilled in that regard?
Getting married often translated to a loss of some things like freedom to call your own shots, have you accomplished most of what you set ought to accomplish when single?
Are you happy internally? Meaning does happiness radiate from within or do you need external factors to feel "happiness"?
Do you love yourself first?

So many questions I can go on forever but the reality is that most men haven't even scratched the surface of their purpose or potential up until 35+. In my eyes, someone at your age (generally speaking*) is still a kid both in mindset and in life stability.

Marriage is not an equal opportunity between men and women. At least not in the eyes of the law. Understand that.

If you have assets, make sure to sign a prenup. If she doesn't like it, then what she probably doesn't like is the fact that she won't end up with your assets if things go south, not that you don't trust her. A prenub should not come from a sense of mistrust but rather a sense of self-respect for what you have worked for, for yourself as an individual, as a man.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice

My answer was going to be somewhere between zero and none.
Any experience on Prenups? I’m sure it differs by regional laws but can it include accumualated assets during the marriage or only preexisting?
I guess this can open a can of worms over mistrust.

 

[RickTheToad]

My answer was going to be somewhere between zero and none.
Any experience on Prenups? I’m sure it differs by regional laws but can it include accumualated assets during the marriage or only preexisting?
I guess this can open a can of worms over mistrust.

Very simple. She says no, you say bye-bye. It's not up for negotiation. Plus, if she is to move into your place, she signs a cohabitation agreement. Again, she says no, you say bye-bye. See what I posted above. If you do not stand your ground now, what's going to stop her from rolling over on you if sh!t hits the fan. Also, the pre-nup should be recorded, notarized and be completed at least 6 months prior to the wedding. It would even be better to have this hammered out prior to checking on any places to have the event. Marriage is about financial security for the female, not "love".

 

[Stuffnu]

Very simple. She says no, you say bye-bye. It's not up for negotiation. Plus, if she is to move into your place, she signs a cohabitation agreement. Again, she says no, you say bye-bye. See what I posted above. If you do not stand your ground now, what's going to stop her from rolling over on you if sh!t hits the fan. Also, the pre-nup should be recorded, notarized and be completed at least 6 months prior to the wedding. It would even be better to have this hammered out prior to checking on any places to have the event. Marriage is about financial security for the female, not "love".

Somehow I overlooked your post and good points.
However you don’t need to sell me on it as I was more interested in the legality.
It seems nothing is Iron Clad, especially with the onslaught on men nowadays.
I’m actually in a relationship. I make 3x her salary and own my own home. Believe me I have no intention on changing that dynamic.

 

[Willie Naylor]

I’m actually in a relationship. I make 3x her salary and own my own home. Believe me I have no intention on changing that dynamic.

So, you make 30,000/year and she makes 10,000?

I'm just funnin with ya.

 

[Stuffnu]

So, you make 30,000/year and she makes 10,000?

I'm just funnin with ya.

Lol. Minimum wage doesn’t pay much you know.
All good my friend, if we cross paths, you can buy me a beer for that comment.

 

[RickTheToad]

Somehow I overlooked your post and good points.
However you don’t need to sell me on it as I was more interested in the legality.
It seems nothing is Iron Clad, especially with the onslaught on men nowadays.
I’m actually in a relationship. I make 3x her salary and own my own home. Believe me I have no intention on changing that dynamic.

If you own the house outright, then you can title it to a trust which would make it, usually, untouchable in case of divorce. You can still possibly transfer it to a trust while having a mortgage, but if you are paying the mortgage with your salary, then it could be considered a marital asset. You will also lose the personal tax deduction. People with assets usually transfer a bulk of their holdings to a trust, and then just derive a "salary" from the trust. Thus, the only thing that can be challenged is the income that you receive, not necessarily the income earned by the trust in general. Need to buy some rental properties and build a small little real estate empire and go from there. As always, I am just a toad, not a lawyer; so seek legal advice. You want to seek out an elder law attorney who specializes in trusts, wills and estates within your state.

 

[Epimanes]

If she consistently makes your d!ck hard and not your life.... your on the right track... if its the opposite... well... you know what to do

 

[The Duke]

Pointless to get married.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

honestly, the right age is never. Whats that little piece of paper gonna give you besides inviting the state into your marriage. I get it, but its a risky chance to take in todays world. 22 yrs of child support has taught me a bitter bitter lesson about the nature of women.

 

[RickTheToad]

I hear everyone here, but I just still feel like you lose part of your life. I may be wrong, but marriage just seems like a prison sentence with a stiff penalty even with a pre-nup (legal fees). I am still on the fence on doing it again. It was so horrible the 1st time around..

 

[rjc149]

Poor plan.

Chances a female not divorced, with no baby daddy and not from rich parents in her 20's or early/mid 30's will not probably own real estate in major metro areas.

Pre-nup 1st list all his/her assets. Agreement that all assets which are his stay his, and continue to stay his. His bank accounts are his, and her's are hers. You transfer the home into an LLC and the LLC "rents" the house to you and your wife. Thus, either can be evicted if sh!t hits the fan. It's best for any business or real assets are transferred to an irrevocable trust prior to marriage; thus a judge cannot award her your assets.

Non-negotiables in the pre-nup:
1) Each party is responsible for their own legal fees.
2) She will move out within 2 weeks notice of any separation or divorce filing. Husband will provide $2500.00 in relocation expenses for wife.
3) Private or personal accounts are separate and will not be distributed to other spouse in the advent of a divorce.
4) Commingled accounts are subject to equitable distribution
5) Waiver of any and all spousal support and maintenance

None of these will hold up in divorce court without the prenuptial contract being drawn up by separate legal counsel representing each partner, and even then, all of these except separate legal fees and equitable distribution of jointly-accrued assets would be tossed out in most divorce courts, especially if the marriage precluded or prevented a spouse from earning income.

Prenuptial negotiations corrode the marriage. If you cannot accept the financial risks of marriage, don’t get married.

 

[rjc149]

If she consistently makes your d!ck hard and not your life.... your on the right track... if its the opposite... well... you know what to do

Unfortunately, attractive women tend to do both.

 

[RickTheToad]

None of these will hold up in divorce court without the prenuptial contract being drawn up by separate legal counsel representing each partner, and even then, all of these except separate legal fees and equitable distribution of jointly-accrued assets would be tossed out in most divorce courts, especially if the marriage precluded or prevented a spouse from earning income.

Prenuptial negotiations corrode the marriage. If you cannot accept the financial risks of marriage, don’t get married.

Yes, each party needs separate counsel; I believe this is pretty obvious. Well, I did it 12 years ago in NYC, so you are completely wrong.

 

[rjc149]

Yes, each party needs separate counsel; I believe this is pretty obvious. Well, I did it 12 years ago in NYC, so you are completely wrong.

It’s not obvious, as one of the easiest ways to undermine a prenup is to have it drawn up by a single attorney which is often how it’s done.

I’m not going to surmise on your net worth, your income tax bracket, or whether your ex wife was also working and earning a comparable income during the marriage. I could be completely wrong — in your case. I know that I’m quite right in many circumstances. I’m not a divorce lawyer so I’m not going to get into the weeds on this with you. Prenups are often dismantled and do not guarantee protection of assets.

 

[RickTheToad]

It’s not obvious, as one of the easiest ways to undermine a prenup is to have it drawn up by a single attorney which is often how it’s done.

I’m not going to surmise on your net worth, your income tax bracket, or whether your ex wife was also working and earning a comparable income during the marriage. I could be completely wrong — in your case. I know that I’m quite right in many circumstances. I’m not a divorce lawyer so I’m not going to get into the weeds on this with you. Prenups are often dismantled and do not guarantee protection of assets.

No attorney in their right mind would give their client a pre-nup and not have the potential spouse have representation. It's common knowledge on that. Besides, the irrevocable trust is the fail safe that never fails; as long as it' also setup with a competent attorney, no fraudulent covalence and no commingling of funds.

Dude, respectfully, you are mistaken. These steps are tried and true and from my former attorney who is with one of the most prominent law firms in Manhattan. The only thing I didn't put in, against counsels advice, was that each party would be responsible for their own legal counsel fees. That' the only thing that hurt me in my annulment.

 

[rjc149]

No attorney in their right mind would give their client a pre-nup and not have the potential spouse have representation. It's common knowledge on that. Besides, the irrevocable trust is the fail safe that never fails; as long as it' also setup with a competent attorney, no fraudulent covalence and no commingling of funds.

Dude, respectfully, you are mistaken. These steps are tried and true and from my former attorney who is with one of the most prominent law firms in Manhattan. The only thing I didn't put in, against counsels advice, was that each party would be responsible for their own legal counsel fees. That' the only thing that hurt me in my annulment.

Okay, I will defer to your personal experience. I’ve heard and read differently but I’ve also never been divorced, or married, for that matter.

 

[RickTheToad]

Okay, I will defer to your personal experience. I’ve heard and read differently but I’ve also never been divorced, or married, for that matter.

This is why irrevocable trusts are so important as a failsafe for people (male or female). They are basically unbreakable after formed; especially in another state. Only a judge in that state can even review the probability in breaking that trust. Even then, with both spouses having to pay for their own legal fees, that can be expensive. Thus, it basically forces the spouse with the lessor income/assets to make a deal. It's not perfect, but in this day and age, we need to have a safety. A IRT, in NYC would cost around 5k to setup. Pre-nup maybe another 5k, and maybe 2.5k for a cohabitation agreement. Not cheap, but it's worth it's weight in platinum if turd hits the fan.

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Premarital Property in a Trust
Premarital property refers to assets owned by a spouse before the marriage. With some exceptions, premarital property is generally not subject to division in a divorce, even if it is placed in a trust, meaning a spouse would have no rights to it. To further protect premarital assets , the trust could be formed as a domestic asset protection trust (DAPT). The person creating the trust, known as the grantor, names himself as the beneficiary. However, a DAPT, which is irrevocable and protects the assets in it from creditors, is not valid in every state, so check your state laws.

Marital Property in a Trust
Marital property is property that was earned, obtained, or received during the marriage. Exceptions include gifts or personal injury settlements or awards. If marital property is placed in an irrevocable trust, that trust cannot be changed and the assets in it cannot be removed and divided in the divorce. The trust assets remain in the trust until after the death of the grantor, when they are distributed to the beneficiaries in accordance with the trust's terms. If marital assets are placed into a revocable trust—including a living trust, which is the common type of trust—then those assets can be removed and divided in the divorce.