Right Move?

Stugots26

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Long story short:

I'm 34, she's 23, tall, blonde, stacked, gorgeous.

First time I met her was March 2013 when she was thinking about coming to the graduate school I just graduated from. I approached, she was with a plus one, but I didn't know the dynamic. Gave some solid advice, gave her my business card, made a killer impression, said "See ya in August," and I walked off. She started texting 3 days later. The dude turned out to be the guy she's been on and off again with for years, and a total schlub man-child.

She invites me out for drinks after a couple of weeks of flirting. Has too good of a time, then she tells me she has to pull back bc of this guy.

I let it go, but she texts within 6 days. We flirt for a few weeks, I'm away for the summer. I get blown off, and again I'm like "See ya!" She texts three weeks later, resumes contact. When I get back in August 2013, we go out, end up making out like no one's business after a long night of fun. Then school starts (my last year, her first), and the ex is still hovering.

I go away for a few months, then wish her a happy birthday in February. Since then we've been talking pretty steadily. I invited her out Sunday night of Memorial Day weekend. We drink for hours, close down the bar, then she suggests continuing back at my place. Head back, open some wine, then next thing I know she pulls me into the bedroom. We go at it for over an hour, then fall asleep naked in each others arms. We get up, she takes me out to breakfast, then walks around the city with me for a couple hours.

The ex-dude, who she's apparently staying with (she claims on his couch - I really have no idea if that's true) has been hammering the last nails in his coffin (cheating repeatedly, now he got fired). She's looking to move out as soon as she gets enough money together (just started a new job).

So we were back in limited contact, and last week I basically tell her to just contact me when she's single, unattached, and available, and if I'm still single, we'll see what could happen between us.

Based on her pattern of getting in touch when I disappear, can I expect to hear from this one again?
 

Kailex

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You need to stop taking this one so seriously.

#1: She's under 25 and already has a history of drama with you.

#2: You should be gaming other girls that are your primary plates.

#3: Who cares if she does or doesn't?

I'm worried that you are looking at her like an LTR prospect. Just have fun with her whenever she does contact you but keep your emotional distance. The fact that this is back and forth for over a year, though, and that this is the type of woman who "allegedly" would stay on an ex's couch... is very worrying. She's a bullseye for drama.
 

j.619

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Kailex said:
You need to stop taking this one so seriously.

#1: She's under 25 and already has a history of drama with you.

#2: You should be gaming other girls that are your primary plates.

#3: Who cares if she does or doesn't?

I'm worried that you are looking at her like an LTR prospect. Just have fun with her whenever she does contact you but keep your emotional distance. The fact that this is back and forth for over a year, though, and that this is the type of woman who "allegedly" would stay on an ex's couch... is very worrying. She's a bullseye for drama.
Nailed it brotha. Listen to this man, Stugots.
 

Stugots26

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Will do.

LTR prospect? I really have no idea. She's never been completely single around me. That's a question for another day and time.

I appreciate the advice and perspective. Maybe I am taking it too seriously. She does have the brains and the beauty and the youth I'm looking for.

Hell, all I can do is put the ball in her court and draw my line in the sand.

Trust me, I'm spinning plenty of plates. But I'm also not one to judge on the past if she got her act together, got free and clear of her situation, and pursued me.

She is 23 now, but she's not "under 25" as you put it for very long. In fact, I think the history we have only works in my favor.
 

Stugots26

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I guess this is more a general strategy question: when you've made this kind of impression over a year and a half, is the "get in touch when you're ready" an effective strategy, generally speaking?
 

j.619

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Stugots26 said:
Will do.

LTR prospect? I really have no idea. She's never been completely single around me. That's a question for another day and time.
This question was already answered for you. NOT LTR material. If she sleeps with you while seeing her current partner, she'll do it to you. Honestly, just enjoy her while she's in the here and now. Leave doors open for something later, if you choose. Just don't invest at this time. This is a penny stock sure to make you lose your shirt. Wait for the right time to buy.

...to answer your question, due to her habits of contacting you, it's safe to say she'll be in touch with you sooner than later. Good luck OP.

EDIT (for strategy question): "Get in touch when you're ready" is the ONLY way to approach situations with women. If you're not ready, don't pursue. Pretty simple concept. Makes you seem available, which kills credibility.
 

Stugots26

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I am not investing at this time. Under no circumstances. I drew my line in the sand, told her that the ball is in her court, and gave her my conditions:
"Get in touch when you are single."
 
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