Richard Cooper - The Unplugged Alpha (2021) Book Review

[Gamisch]

Great point of view to share.

I would rather take my chances with a childless woman in her 30s/40s than one with kids in that age range. I don't want to be Beta Male Bob who plays daddy, pays a single mom's bills, and placates her needs.

I'm in my early 40s now and I can still easily date 30 somethings. A lot of 30 somethings now have kids. There's a lot of media hype about childless Millennials. Most of the 1980s born Millennials I know have kids. I think it is getting more difficult to find a 1984-1989 born Millennial woman now without kids (that's a 35-40 year old as of this writing) despite all the hype around childless Millennials.

You might have to change this vision sooner or later( rather sooner). You can no longer discredit a woman in your age bracket due to having kids.

Realistically speaking that time is gone now. You had between 15 to let's say 35 , that's 20 full years to play the field and demand for a childless woman. Now you gotta adjust your strategy.

Not to sound mean or harsh, I like you and you know that. And maybe me being a father myself also gives me a different perspective. But I know that most women will plan around their kids as in they'll have a time slot for you, for them , for friends,family ect. And yes, EVENTUALLY you'll have to accept her kids as a part of her. Facts.

But not too many ( normal everyday John Doe ) men in their forties gonna be able to demand what you stated. If you just wanna have sex her kids won't be a problem. If you want a ltr it's never gonna be a puppy love 20y.o like ltr anymore ( or I should say, don't count on it anymore).

This is where urgency or lack thereof comes to the surface, right? I'd getting a childless woman IS or WAS urgent ,you would put anything on it to secure that woman.

Again , you indeed can still pull a 28 y.o or a early 30 bird. But it will come with complications as that age bracket is the worst to deal with.

 

[zekko]

He admitted that videos focusing on the negative aspects of women collect the most views/likes, so he goes where the money flows.

That makes sense, and is good for him, but I'm not sure it does the viewer any good.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The redpill is crumbling. Everything that needed to be said is out there by now

None of it was remotely original to begin with https://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000555.html Note the date this was written. Life was much simpler and saner, when we weren't emulating The Woke Left, by eschewing Plain Language and in favor of communicating exclusively in jargon

 

[SW15]

You can no longer discredit a woman in your age bracket due to having kids.

I'm fortunate to not be regularly interacting with single moms near my own age. I tend to spend time in parts of my city with mainly unmarried childless women.

If I were swiping on an app in my city near my own age, I'd probably see more single moms than I encounter when doing real life approaches in the field.

Realistically speaking that time is gone now. You had between 15 to let's say 35 , that's 20 full years to play the field and demand for a childless woman. Now you gotta adjust your strategy.

I think what you're saying is realistic for men in general. I have been fortunate that I've mainly avoided single moms but perhaps I'm living on borrowed time with that strategy.

Not to sound mean or harsh, I like you and you know that. And maybe me being a father myself also gives me a different perspective. But I know that most women will plan around their kids as in they'll have a time slot for you, for them , for friends,family ect. And yes, EVENTUALLY you'll have to accept her kids as a part of her. Facts.

But not too many ( normal everyday John Doe ) men in their forties gonna be able to demand what you stated. If you just wanna have sex her kids won't be a problem. If you want a ltr it's never gonna be a puppy love 20y.o like ltr anymore ( or I should say, don't count on it anymore).

Single moms are ok for casual sex. Some guys can tolerate a single mom as a plate spinning alongside other plates.

I think a childless man and a single mom are a poor fit for a longer term committed relationship. I don't have much of a desire to spend any time around a single mom's children. I have designed a childless life as a childless male.

you indeed can still pull a 28 y.o or a early 30 bird. But it will come with complications as that age bracket is the worst to deal with.

I have had some interactions with this age bracket. Agree that there are typically complications.

 

[Gamisch]

None of it was remotely original to begin with https://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000555.html Note the date this was written. Life was much simpler and saner, when we weren't emulating The Woke Left, by eschewing Plain Language and in favor of communicating exclusively in jargon

Yeah , the really interesting thing is to investigate how modern technology can change the dating landscape significantly.

If you look at something like fashion for example, we see that every 10 year there's a dramatic change in style. Compare the 70,s with the 80,s and 90,s ect. Bet there are still men who say" just gotta dance that boogie when you see a woman ".

Today's dating landscape cannot be compared to ten years ago. Even if ten years feels like yesterday.

 

[SW15]

Today's dating landscape cannot be compared to ten years ago. Even if ten years feels like yesterday.

It's an interesting thought experiment to try to figure out how a person would react if entering the dating market in 2024 after a 10 year relationship.

Someone who was in a steady relationship from 2014-2024 likely got married at some point during that time and is possible re-entering the market with a child/children.

Smartphones and text messages had been well established by 2014.

Tinder launched in 2012 and had made its presence felt by 2014. Ghosting and flaking were big by 2014.

I don't think 10 years ago is that much of a change though a man would likely feel rusty if not having had to seduce new people since then.

 

[Solomon]

My hot take:

I've dated a lot after 40 and found that 90% of the women have kids. Of course this means limited availability (if the kids are still at home), date cancellations due to kid stuff, and often the ex is still in the picture. Plus, if she's hot, she's also playing the field as much - if not more - than a younger single woman as she's taking advantage of new found freedom if recently divorced. So, I never take these types seriously. Maybe she’s something to do on the side until Beta Male Bob comes along and plays daddy for her kids, pays her bills, and placates to all her needs. Women will generally gravitate towards stability and a "provider" type when they get older.

The remaining 10% that don't have kids after 40 are really f*cked up, in my experience. They have huge personality issues, can be really irresponsible, and/or have so much masculine energy (even if they’re petite and hot) that it turns guys off.

So that's my experience dating after 40 and beyond. Kind of a waste of time. So now, I only date hot women that live very close to me and then it's super casual. Otherwise, I'd rather hang and hike with my Doberman quite honestly as the whole "dating thing" is a HUGE time suck with very few positive results.

Unpopular take but women over 40 are mostly bitter, jaded, vapid, insufferable, masculine or delusional who don't have any kids. Obviosuly this isn't true for all of them but this applies for 80% IME.

Unpopular take but if you're a man over 45 and you wanna date younger smoke shows, I see nothing wrong with leveraging your status and success to do so. This will go over peoples heads because they think I'm talking about tricking when I'm not. If you have access then there is nothing wrong with levarging it as long you don't play yourself as a sucker

 

[Solomon]

The redpill is crumbling. Everything that needed to be said is out there by now.

Many men paid hefty amounts of money to join bootcamps , calls , exclusive Patreon memberships ect but nothing really changed for them.

As mentioned before: dude is a goofball, and his only option will be to play the status card. Looking like him and having money will only make the problem grow bigger: his only option are gold diggers.

Dude is a grifter. The most desperate person is a man who is in the middle of a failed relationship/marriage and who tries to keep it together . This man will LITERALLY trade in all of his money to get back the love he once knew. It's a devilish practice.

I am not impressed

The RP has been infiltrated by "Goobers" who were never "him" to begin with most of these guys you can tell were and still are dorks.
Imgaine watching a redpill show on female nature but they don't have any sauce and they speaking at the women but not giving you the viewers any of the IZM and lace you with proper game to go out there and win.

I realized people weren't smart when young men took Andrew Tate's trolling as actually legit advice and then he rolled with it and became a D-List celebrity, a lot of modern men ain't build with this, it is what it is

 

[SW15]

The redpill is crumbling. Everything that needed to be said is out there by now.

In the last few years, the growth in the black pill ideology has exceeded the growth in the red pill ideology.

Younger Millennials and Gen Z seem to be more attracted to the black pill than the red pill.

 

[Solomon]

In the last few years, the growth in the black pill ideology has exceeded the growth in the red pill ideology.

Younger Millennials and Gen Z seem to be more attracted to the black pill than the red pill.

The black pill has turned into nothing but coping and pseudo-homosexuality in regards to obsession with looks maxxing. With the rise of transexuals, it would not shock me if within a decade blackpill ideology embraces "Post-op" trans as they will justify that they are no longer men but women.

 

[GoodMan32]

Great point of view to share.

I would rather take my chances with a childless woman in her 30s/40s than one with kids in that age range. I don't want to be Beta Male Bob who plays daddy, pays a single mom's bills, and placates her needs.

I'm in my early 40s now and I can still easily date 30 somethings. A lot of 30 somethings now have kids. There's a lot of media hype about childless Millennials. Most of the 1980s born Millennials I know have kids. I think it is getting more difficult to find a 1984-1989 born Millennial woman now without kids (that's a 35-40 year old as of this writing) despite all the hype around childless Millennials.

Even though Millennials have a reputation of being childless, it's more a matter of Millennials having children later than previous generations.

7 years ago (when today's 35-40 year olds were 28-33), many didn't have kids yet, whereas Boomers and Gen Xers (the older half of Gen X at least) typically had kids by then. That's where the childless Millennial stereotype came from.

 

[GoodMan32]

You might have to change this vision sooner or later( rather sooner). You can no longer discredit a woman in your age bracket due to having kids.

Realistically speaking that time is gone now. You had between 15 to let's say 35 , that's 20 full years to play the field and demand for a childless woman. Now you gotta adjust your strategy.

Not to sound mean or harsh, I like you and you know that. And maybe me being a father myself also gives me a different perspective. But I know that most women will plan around their kids as in they'll have a time slot for you, for them , for friends,family ect. And yes, EVENTUALLY you'll have to accept her kids as a part of her. Facts.

But not too many ( normal everyday John Doe ) men in their forties gonna be able to demand what you stated. If you just wanna have sex her kids won't be a problem. If you want a ltr it's never gonna be a puppy love 20y.o like ltr anymore ( or I should say, don't count on it anymore).

This is where urgency or lack thereof comes to the surface, right? I'd getting a childless woman IS or WAS urgent ,you would put anything on it to secure that woman.

Again , you indeed can still pull a 28 y.o or a early 30 bird. But it will come with complications as that age bracket is the worst to deal with.

When a married 45 year old had an affair with me, she'd sometimes come bang me when her kids were at school. She'd also sometimes get with me on a weekend or an evening (when the husband was at home with the kids, ages 6 and 8)

In other words, even if a woman has kids, she'll find a way to work around the kids if she really wants to bang you.

 

[GoodMan32]

I'm fortunate to not be regularly interacting with single moms near my own age. I tend to spend time in parts of my city with mainly unmarried childless women.

If I were swiping on an app in my city near my own age, I'd probably see more single moms than I encounter when doing real life approaches in the field.



I think what you're saying is realistic for men in general. I have been fortunate that I've mainly avoided single moms but perhaps I'm living on borrowed time with that strategy.



Single moms are ok for casual sex. Some guys can tolerate a single mom as a plate spinning alongside other plates.

I think a childless man and a single mom are a poor fit for a longer term committed relationship. I don't have much of a desire to spend any time around a single mom's children. I have designed a childless life as a childless male.



I have had some interactions with this age bracket. Agree that there are typically complications.

One plus of being into older broads in my preferred age range (45-60s) is there's a high chance that even if they have kids, their kids are already grown.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's an interesting thought experiment to try to figure out how a person would react if entering the dating market in 2024 after a 10 year relationship.

Someone who was in a steady relationship from 2014-2024 likely got married at some point during that time and is possible re-entering the market with a child/children.

Smartphones and text messages had been well established by 2014.

Tinder launched in 2012 and had made its presence felt by 2014. Ghosting and flaking were big by 2014.

I don't think 10 years ago is that much of a change though a man would likely feel rusty if not having had to seduce new people since then.

I got some dates from POF and OkCupid in the 2012-13 range.

Was it tough? Yeah.

But I found myself to be in a much tougher position when I downloaded some apps (at the urging of my therapist) in summer 2024.

 

[GoodMan32]

I don't know. I actively started to play the field again back in 2016. I hadn't been 'dating' since 1999. Before 1999 I dated multiple lovers at the same time, like I'm doing now. I explored the possibilities of dating apps back in 2019 (mostly looking for rope models) but what I encountered wasn't that appealing.

I date mostly the same way as I didn't before 1999: I interact with women, there's mutual attraction, we have a non-exclusive, non-monogamous relationship. I don't feel I'm missing out not using dating apps, since my divorce I'm never without at least one lover, and most of my relationships last between 6-24 months, although some lovers last a lot longer than that.
On top of that I have some sex through kink lovers I'm not in a relationship with and the occasional 'fling' with a tango partner. All in all, I feel like my dating life has improved over the years.

What a shame I wasn't able to get sex when I used the kinkster site known as FetLife this past summer.

 

[SW15]

I got some dates from POF and OkCupid in the 2012-13 range.

Was it tough? Yeah.

But I found myself to be in a much tougher position when I downloaded some apps (at the urging of my therapist) in summer 2024.

Using POF and OkCupid in the 2010-2013 time frame was Game on harder mode.

However, most men who did enough volume on POF and OkCupid could get dates. If a man sent 100 messages to women over a weekend on those sites, he'd probably get some responses and some first dates out of it. POF and OkCupid were different because women had to at least see your messages. In the swipe app era, they can swipe left and ignore the man. The man can't even try to make something happen in the inbox in the app era because he can't get there with the left swipe.

There were men who would send copy & paste messages to a lot of women on POF and OkCupid in those days, which was somewhat efficient. Some men would customize some of their messages.

Most men have been in a tougher position on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble than POF/OkCupid.

In 2010-2013, in-person approaching was still a better option than POF/OkCupid.

Even though Millennials have a reputation of being childless, it's more a matter of Millennials having children later than previous generations.

7 years ago (when today's 35-40 year olds were 28-33), many didn't have kids yet, whereas Boomers and Gen Xers (the older half of Gen X at least) typically had kids by then. That's where the childless Millennial stereotype came from.

This description is close to what I'm seeing with the elder Millennials near my own age.

 

[GoodMan32]

Using POF and OkCupid in the 2010-2013 time frame was Game on harder mode.

However, most men who did enough volume on POF and OkCupid could get dates. If a man sent 100 messages to women over a weekend on those sites, he'd probably get some responses and some first dates out of it. POF and OkCupid were different because women had to at least see your messages. In the swipe app era, they can swipe left and ignore the man. The man can't even try to make something happen in the inbox in the app era because he can't get there with the left swipe.

There were men who would send copy & paste messages to a lot of women on POF and OkCupid in those days, which was somewhat efficient. Some men would customize some of their messages.

Most men have been in a tougher position on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble than POF/OkCupid.

In 2010-2013, in-person approaching was still a better option than POF/OkCupid.



This description is close to what I'm seeing with the elder Millennials near my own age.

Bumble's format (where the woman has to make the first move) has its pluses. One downside, however, is (as you pointed out) men aren't able to spam broads on Bumble.

In retrospect, my dates from POF and OkCupid were nothing special.

I got 2 dates from an 18 year old on OkCupid when I was 20. She was a nerdy 18 year old with an alternative (bordering on goth) style. In other words, not the type of girl who would be in high demand (that's probably the only reason I was able to get her)

Then when I was 21, I got one date from OkCupid with an obese girl at my college (even though we went to the same college, we didn't know each other until we met on OkCupid). The broad ended up disliking me after the 1st date for reasons totally unknown to me.

Next, after I graduated college, I got an 8 month relationship with a strange fattie from POF who couldn't even fully speak English.

In conclusion, I had to engage in dumpster diving to even get the minimal amount of success I had on OkCupid and POF.

In person approaches got me rejected 100% of the time in college, with the exception of one girl from one of my classes who turned out to be so strange (even by my standards) I had to dump her after a week.

 

[SW15]

In retrospect, my dates from POF and OkCupid were nothing special.

That's common. With both dating websites and dating apps over time, a lot of first dates happen that were a waste and probably shouldn't have happened. I think men have had a scarcity mentality over time (going back to the 2000s) on these platforms and scheduled many ill advised dates. That's part of why the "1-2 dates, no sex, no extended relationship" is a common outcome.

In conclusion, I had to engage in dumpster diving to even get the minimal amount of success I had on OkCupid and POF.

That was a common outcome for men in the early 2010s on those platforms.

The same thing has happened on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge for men.

Online dating websites and later swipe apps have both had the problem of a surplus of men. They are sausage fests. A few years ago, it was mentioned that Tinder's active user base was 76% male and Bumble and Hinge were both 65% male. Women have power with those ratios.
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Bumble's format (where the woman has to make the first move) has its pluses. One downside, however, is (as you pointed out) men aren't able to spam broads on Bumble.

I have read that Bumble has abandoned their women makes the first move format recently.

The swiping model was invented in the early 2010s to reduce women getting crap in their inboxes.

On the Tinder/Bumble/Hinge inboxes now, the in-app inboxes are only guys who passed with a right swipe. It reduces their message volume. Even with reduced message volume, the in-app inboxes are still full.

It's now the swipe queue where women have volume as compared to inboxes in the old POF, Match, and Okcupid days.

The best solution has always been to do some sort of real life approaching and/or build a social circle.

 

[GoodMan32]

That's common. With both dating websites and dating apps over time, a lot of first dates happen that were a waste and probably shouldn't have happened. I think men have had a scarcity mentality over time (going back to the 2000s) on these platforms and scheduled many ill advised dates. That's part of why the "1-2 dates, no sex, no extended relationship" is a common outcome.



That was a common outcome for men in the early 2010s on those platforms.

The same thing has happened on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge for men.

Online dating websites and later swipe apps have both had the problem of a surplus of men. They are sausage fests. A few years ago, it was mentioned that Tinder's active user base was 76% male and Bumble and Hinge were both 65% male. Women have power with those ratios.
u


I have read that Bumble has abandoned their women makes the first move format recently.

The swiping model was invented in the early 2010s to reduce women getting crap in their inboxes.

On the Tinder/Bumble/Hinge inboxes now, the in-app inboxes are only guys who passed with a right swipe. It reduces their message volume. Even with reduced message volume, the in-app inboxes are still full.

It's now the swipe queue where women have volume as compared to inboxes in the old POF, Match, and Okcupid days.

The best solution has always been to do some sort of real life approaching and/or build a social circle.

On 2nd thought, I suppose one benefit of the swipe format (from a man's perspective) is that we don't waste our time messaging a woman we have zero chance with anyway. At least if we're a swipe-match, we have an above zero chance with her (even if still low)

On the topic of scarcity/abundance, in addition to the fact a woman has a hard time comprehending the scarcity we face, gay guys can also have a hard time comprehending the scarcity straight men face.

Some gay guy whose looks are nothing special (he's fat and in his 50s) told me he's surprised at my lack of success with the ladies. He said if he were straight, he could go out, approach a woman, and get same day sex (despite his lackluster looks)

He's wrong. He's operating under the idea that getting into a woman's pants is as easy as getting into a man's pants.

 

[SW15]

On 2nd thought, I suppose one benefit of the swipe format (from a man's perspective) is that we don't waste our time messaging a woman we have zero chance with anyway. At least if we're a swipe-match, we have an above zero chance with her (even if still low)

Sending messages behind an electronic screen to a woman you've never met in person before is a low return on effort activity. That was true in the dating website era and has been true in the swipe app era.

The better play is meeting women in real life.

Arranging first dates in real life leads to a better chance of positive outcomes (shorter term sex or longer term relationships with sex being common desired outcomes).

Some guys can also get same night sex from a bar approach. Same day sex off of an approach in a non-bar venue is super rare and barely worth mentioning. Approaches in non-bar venues usually require a bar date/activity date to get to sex.