Buddha_Mind
Master Don Juan
Well gentlemen, I am at a current place in life in need of general refreshment and revamping. I've made a great deal of self-improvement in the last several years in many facets of my life. I still am not where I need to be with women. And although I've gained 25lbs of muscle and changed my body a great deal, I see this being another aspect where less mediocrity and more of "taking life by the balls" could be useful.
I have been the last year taking a great number of suggestions from this site. I've had moments of frustration. Some mentalities on this site I take with a grain of salt. But generally the bible has some great material, and being able to bounce ideas off of all of you is useful too to help me see sometimes areas I cannot through my own emotional attachment.
I am starting a new routine in my life, although I already exercise 3-5x a week, I am going to take on the practice of yoga and increase my strength gains. There was a time in my life in high school where I was a very big man, lost all of the weight, have rebuilt muscle, transformed a variety of self-aspects, but feel another breath coming on. I've got work to do to gain another 10-15lbs of muscle, and to get a bit more action in my life.
One thing I will be working on in addition to regularly integrating what I've learned on this website is (1) avoiding cynicism or self pity, and (2) trying the 3-a-day Method.
By this I mean making it a point, every day, to talk to at least 3 women I find attractive. To do nothing more than offer light flirtation, kino if appropriate, and to make them smile and laugh. More or less, I feel by putting myself out there, with little real expectation rather than social progress or increased levels of comfort, this will be a good remedy at keeping me optimistic and setting short-term goals.
My goal is to create more decisiveness in my actions towards women, more clarity in my understandings, and to become a man who chooses his women, as opposed to seeking their choosing (which is a frame I've been all too caught up in for too long).
Sometimes this website can be frustrating as there is an attitude of superficiality that can spoil some potentially rewarding relationships. But I also believe this is unique to posters, is something seen on forums everywhere irregardless of subject matter.
My benchmark of success will not be strictly getting laid. But more so how in control of a situation I can become, how aware I can become, and how I can guide things for the proper outcome.
Anyways, I am proud to say that this website has helped me reach some improvements with my life for sure. I've gotten to a point where at least at my old workplace, I can safely say at least 3-4 women there were attracted to me, from things such as playing footsy underneath the table to being able to have sex with one of them (whom I did turn down simply because she was not the most mentally stable, although attractive, and I was apprehensive). But I've also learned too in this short period how f*cked some women can be (some of these girls for sure had boyfriends) and how truly a man has to be decisive for himself about who he chooses to lay and to not tolerate any of their bullsh!t which they gladly enjoy playing even if subconsciously.
One thing I struggle with the most currently is attachment. I can lay a chick but it is easy for me to become attached or develop "one-itis" for a female I'm interested in. Almost always this destroys things. But I am perplexed as it seems any healthy relationship would involve some idea of "one-itis", even if not experienced as negatively as it can for the average AFC. IE -- you want to be "into" your long-term-gf don't you? Humans naturally produce "bonding" chemicals that bring us closer to each other. How do you differentiate between these "lovey gushy" feelings and prevent from revealing them and coming off like a total chump? How do you give her enough of this "care" in a moderated way, that she knows she is important to you, but not enough to be like a little Wussy-Man full of I Love You's and Hugs and Hearts?
Balance is what I need. I start with the 3-a-day, little expectations, simply pick up my abilities to converse and have a diverse variety of women in my daily experience.
Have any of you been down this same path? How do you avoid AFC relapse or cynicism when you fail? Have some of you seen major improvements in your life or ability to get the relationships you want with women? Or does this forum serve more or less as a "venting" ground where we are all just moaning about our failures yet not seeing progress?
Thoughts are welcome, criticisms, anything. Looking for additional insight on proper perspective and proper motivation.
I have been the last year taking a great number of suggestions from this site. I've had moments of frustration. Some mentalities on this site I take with a grain of salt. But generally the bible has some great material, and being able to bounce ideas off of all of you is useful too to help me see sometimes areas I cannot through my own emotional attachment.
I am starting a new routine in my life, although I already exercise 3-5x a week, I am going to take on the practice of yoga and increase my strength gains. There was a time in my life in high school where I was a very big man, lost all of the weight, have rebuilt muscle, transformed a variety of self-aspects, but feel another breath coming on. I've got work to do to gain another 10-15lbs of muscle, and to get a bit more action in my life.
One thing I will be working on in addition to regularly integrating what I've learned on this website is (1) avoiding cynicism or self pity, and (2) trying the 3-a-day Method.
By this I mean making it a point, every day, to talk to at least 3 women I find attractive. To do nothing more than offer light flirtation, kino if appropriate, and to make them smile and laugh. More or less, I feel by putting myself out there, with little real expectation rather than social progress or increased levels of comfort, this will be a good remedy at keeping me optimistic and setting short-term goals.
My goal is to create more decisiveness in my actions towards women, more clarity in my understandings, and to become a man who chooses his women, as opposed to seeking their choosing (which is a frame I've been all too caught up in for too long).
Sometimes this website can be frustrating as there is an attitude of superficiality that can spoil some potentially rewarding relationships. But I also believe this is unique to posters, is something seen on forums everywhere irregardless of subject matter.
My benchmark of success will not be strictly getting laid. But more so how in control of a situation I can become, how aware I can become, and how I can guide things for the proper outcome.
Anyways, I am proud to say that this website has helped me reach some improvements with my life for sure. I've gotten to a point where at least at my old workplace, I can safely say at least 3-4 women there were attracted to me, from things such as playing footsy underneath the table to being able to have sex with one of them (whom I did turn down simply because she was not the most mentally stable, although attractive, and I was apprehensive). But I've also learned too in this short period how f*cked some women can be (some of these girls for sure had boyfriends) and how truly a man has to be decisive for himself about who he chooses to lay and to not tolerate any of their bullsh!t which they gladly enjoy playing even if subconsciously.
One thing I struggle with the most currently is attachment. I can lay a chick but it is easy for me to become attached or develop "one-itis" for a female I'm interested in. Almost always this destroys things. But I am perplexed as it seems any healthy relationship would involve some idea of "one-itis", even if not experienced as negatively as it can for the average AFC. IE -- you want to be "into" your long-term-gf don't you? Humans naturally produce "bonding" chemicals that bring us closer to each other. How do you differentiate between these "lovey gushy" feelings and prevent from revealing them and coming off like a total chump? How do you give her enough of this "care" in a moderated way, that she knows she is important to you, but not enough to be like a little Wussy-Man full of I Love You's and Hugs and Hearts?
Balance is what I need. I start with the 3-a-day, little expectations, simply pick up my abilities to converse and have a diverse variety of women in my daily experience.
Have any of you been down this same path? How do you avoid AFC relapse or cynicism when you fail? Have some of you seen major improvements in your life or ability to get the relationships you want with women? Or does this forum serve more or less as a "venting" ground where we are all just moaning about our failures yet not seeing progress?
Thoughts are welcome, criticisms, anything. Looking for additional insight on proper perspective and proper motivation.
