RETHINK: Buying women drinks

[ManOMan]

My friend is a natural DJ, he gets pvssy galore, no questions asked

whenever we go out, as soon as he meets girls , right away he asks "You guys want a shot??" and he winds up buying rounds of shots for eveeryone

I noticed his little pattern and tried to give him a DJ speech about the AFCness of buying girls drinks

he just said "HEY!!! IT WORKS!!! AND A FEW DOLLARS SPENT ON DRINKS IS No SWEAT OFF mY BALLS" (he makes good money)

and while he is good looking, the girls he buys shots for stick around, and they eventualy hook up (sure he has had a few girls who did the shots and just left, but overall, he's had more success with it than failures)

I on the otherhand, dont have the luxury of buying every HB I see a drink.

but for you fellas out there who are average looking and have $$$, you might want to rethink this zero tolerance rule on buying girls drinks.

 

[Trapspringer]

Well at least he can avoid the legal consequences of just taking the money and buying a hooker.

I have a similar friend who does the same with generally good success but boy is he disappointed when he doesn't get any action in the end. I can't imagine what this may cost him annually.

I just refuse to do it. I never have unless they were my date, friend or GFs. I feel thatf if can't spark interest with conversation and attitude, then the chic isn't worth having.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

No I will never rethink this, why would I want, need, have a reason for buying a girl some drink except if she was a friend? This has never fvcked it up for me and never will.

 

[NatureGuy]

If you have the money, and you don't
expect anything in return, why not?
It works for alot of people as Man
points out. Just another way of "breaking
the ice" or creating goodwill .

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by ManOMan
(he makes good money)

that's all it is

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Your friend doesn't have confidence in his own game so he relies on his money and external forces to work in his favor - he could have picked up these hors without spending money, if his game was tight. So, do these girls feel obligated to sleep with him because he spent $3 dollars, NO! If they do then they are $3 prostitutes!! Huh?? They screw him because they are hors and they want to feel it. That's it!!! The 'drink' is a non- issue, it is a cheap and cowardly introductory tool. It is not mandatory nor is it necessary to get a hor!!!

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by NatureGuy
If you have the money, and you don't
expect anything in return, why not?
It works for alot of people as Man
points out. Just another way of "breaking
the ice" or creating goodwill .

Because with the drink nomather what your intentions are there are subconcious ties for the girl.

 

[NatureGuy]

I'd have to say I disagree with that manic
answer from PRL . In business, all talk and no substance goes nowhere just
as it does in relationships. Buying a drink
without expecting a reward is attempting
to create goodwill, just as when the
better companies give you something to
introduce themselves or a book/lecture
promoter creates a free Don Juan website

 

[Big Pappy]

Gentlemen,

As someone older, though not necessarily wiser, let me provide for you the benefit of some of my experiences, particularly those of working in a pub.

Some girls would rather you not buy them a drink at all, and may even consider it an insult that you think you can win your way in her panties with a couple of drinks.

Some girls simply have become accustomed to getting their drinks paid for because they're just cute/pretty. Some of these have maybe twenty bucks on them(or nothing!) and won't buy a single drink waiting for a guy to buy it for them. I know one chick who will sit and laugh and have a great time - even put her hand on the guy's thigh, as long as he keeps the drinks coming. After an hour, (she's buzzing by then) her phone will ring and she'll excuse herself. Then she'll come back inside and start talking to her girlfriends.

Some girls will buy you a drink and then wait for you to buy them one.

Depending on your location, a couple of drinks can be as cheap as 3 bucks or as much as 16 dollars! Every now and then, I'll buy a drink for a girl, but only after I've told her no the first time she asked and talked with her for a good while and have earned her respect. Why buy one? Because I can. Also, the drunker she gets, the easier it is to get past the ASD and into a state of arousal. It's all about the timing, my level of horniness, what other girls are in the pub, etc.
I am not above buying a 5.5 a drink after shooting down an 8.5 or higher just because the 8.5+ thought the world owed her one.

I would suggest that your buddy is using the shots to show that he is there to party first, womanize second. He's not trying to learn their name, he's just trying to make friends. The introductions will follow eventually, if he's any fun at all.

For most, however, you can still set yoruself apart from the pack by suggesting the bartender get the lady a glass for the beer she just paid for. Then tip him for it.
Also, non-smokers, you might want to carry a lighter with you in case you're picking up on a smoker.

A bottle of Aspirin and/or Excedrin might also be handy. There's nothing quite like being prepared. It's a useful tool to get them to change their environment and come out to your car.

 

[PUA_GUY]

Originally posted by ManOMan
My friend is a natural DJ, he gets pvssy galore, no questions asked

whenever we go out, as soon as he meets girls , right away he asks "You guys want a shot??" and he winds up buying rounds of shots for eveeryone

I noticed his little pattern and tried to give him a DJ speech about the AFCness of buying girls drinks

he just said "HEY!!! IT WORKS!!! AND A FEW DOLLARS SPENT ON DRINKS IS No SWEAT OFF mY BALLS" (he makes good money)

and while he is good looking, the girls he buys shots for stick around, and they eventualy hook up (sure he has had a few girls who did the shots and just left, but overall, he's had more success with it than failures)

I on the otherhand, dont have the luxury of buying every HB I see a drink.

but for you fellas out there who are average looking and have $$$, you might want to rethink this zero tolerance rule on buying girls drinks.

Wow your friend is a supplicator. Whats next? To get laid does he buy them a golden necklace too?

You need to rethink about whether your an AFC or a WBAFC for posting such a dumb ass topic.

 

[jakethasnake]

I believe that genuine and heartfelt human interaction absolutely requires some kind of payoff - everything from things concrete like money or material goods to friendship to sex to a smile, even. NOTHING is for free in this exsistence - if you want something, you 'pay' for it thru money, a gift, or even a gesture.


Like nature guy said, this is how it works in business, in relationships, in politics.


You are guys go way overboard by calling ANY tradeoff an act of prostitution - that's just the way it works. The ONLY time a man get get ass without making even the smallest of trade-offs is when he is in an absolute position of power - for example if he is extremely handsome or power/famous/rich.


By some of your definitions, George W. Bush is a 'DJ' politician - one who expects the whole world for virtually nothing. He is obstinate, sometimes even unreasonable. It's no wonder he is intensely disliked by many - the only reason he has his allies is because they know that with his military he can blow them right out of the water. If not for that, the U.S. would have few allies right now. So in that sense, a hard-core "DJ" is showing a weakness by being INFLEXIBLE. That is a big no-no, as Bruce Lee once said.

 

[Fantasy]

A friendship should never have to cost money. Money was created to purchase a service or materials and not to purchase intangible values such as friendship or love. Like the saying goes, "the best things in life are free." If you desire these intangible values, it should only be paid through reciprocity. A great friend for a great friend. A great lover for a great lover. Support for support. This is why marriage is a partnership rather than a service.The word "free" does not always mean avoding monetary lost.

A lot of time pay means "pay" through reciprocity but this is not a true payment. It is only doing your part. We can argue semantics until we blue in the face but all we have to do is go back to the the basic idea of bartering and the creation of money.

Just a few hundred years ago, men would have just given the woman the whole bottle of liquor, a chicken, cow, or something of that nature but it is extremely inconvenient to carry chickens or bottles of liquor in our pockets. Now men just buy the drinks in the bar with the expectation of eventually receiving sex.

If you feel that you have to pay for someone's attention, you are purchasing a service and not a true friend. It may not be exactly prostitution but this only escapes this definition through a technicality just as call-girls frequently escape prosecution through the technicality of just saying "the guy was paying for my company" even though both she and the customer had an understanding of what was to be expected from the exchange of the money while the sex was supposedly something that "just happened."

No, buying a woman in the bar a few drinks to hold her attention in hopes of getting her in the sack is not exactly prostitution but is no more than a couple of steps behind. On the other hand, if you are able to build a friendly rapport with her and interest that leads to you buying her drinks, it is simply a friendly gesture.

This whole thing can be very philosphical because you must dig deep to find out what is the person who buys the drinks intentions. If he is only offering a friendly gesture without hopes of gaining favors, then he is not a John but if he is trying to win her favor through monetary means, he is simply a John.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: RETHINK: Buying women drinks

Originally posted by Mercenary
that's all it is

Exactly. He might as well pay their rent while he's at it. Women usually gravitate towards men with means. But if that's the bait that he chooses to use, more power to him.

I'll stick to giving them a genuine compliment, it costs less and it usually gives a better payback.

 

[ManOMan]

this was merely an observation, all too many time, guys think if they buy a girl a drink, they are handing their testicles over on a plate.

Im just saying my friend makes good $$, he buys women drinks, and it works for him to breaking the ice, the point is, him spending $100 a night buying random girls drinks is like loaning your friend $1

I was skeptical at his approach and even gave him a lecture, he didnt care, but was still reeling in women like mad

 

[squirrels]

There's no X-factor here. Buying a girl a drink won't instantly kill your chances...if you're in already because she's totally into you, she's not going to think, "Hey he's buying me a drink, maybe he's not as totally man as I thought he was."

This refers to more of the "I just met you, but I don't know what to say and I'm afraid you won't like me, so let me get you a drink to compensate you for your time."

THAT's the attitude you want to avoid. But in this case, I can guarantee you that buying/not buying drinks is an extraneous factor. It's NOT what is getting your friend IN with these women.

 

[Jon E]

It doesnt matter if you buy girls drinks or not, its the motivation behind your actions!

If you're buying the drinks as a bribe for their attention youre coming across as needy and making a mistake. But if your just doing it because you're a fun guy, dont care and just want to have a good time then the purchase is totally immaterial, it doesnt have any meaning.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don't buy girls you don't know a drink, they are just using your money and you are the chump obeying her commands. Tell her, "We'll go for drinks on our first date, what is your phone number?".

Do you really think a woman went home with this guy because he brought her a drink? She was going home with him regardless - the drink had absolutely nothing to do with it. Women like to use men thar are gullible and/or generous with thei money!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ManOMan
this was merely an observation, all too many time, guys think if they buy a girl a drink, they are handing their testicles over on a plate.

Im just saying my friend makes good $$, he buys women drinks, and it works for him to breaking the ice, the point is, him spending $100 a night buying random girls drinks is like loaning your friend $1

I was skeptical at his approach and even gave him a lecture, he didnt care, but was still reeling in women like mad

I can believe that he is reeling them in, but how many of those that he reels in end up in something substantial? Also, consider that deep down, you see that there is something peculiar about it.

If he's doing it to break the ice, why wouldn't doing something like walking up to a woman and asking her name break the ice? Why wouldn't giving her a genuine complement with or without a neg hit break the ice?

Walking up to a woman and asking to buy her a drink is easy to do and takes no imagination, plus like you said, he has money to throw away. Here's a question, is he a good conversationalist with women? If he's really that good, why rely on buying drinks?

Just something to consider.

 

[PUA_GUY]

Originally posted by ManOMan
this was merely an observation, all too many time, guys think if they buy a girl a drink, they are handing their testicles over on a plate.

No this is what you imply: "I dont know how to approach women and not sure what exactly to say but this drink might do all the talking for me, I hope you can relate to me buying you this drink like 100s of other guys in this club.


Im just saying my friend makes good $$, he buys women drinks, and it works for him to breaking the ice, the point is, him spending $100 a night buying random girls drinks is like loaning your friend $1
That fact is that the women WHO he buys drinks to obviously dont make as much money as he does and it IS a biggie to them money wise. Do you think its a big deal for Bill Gates to buy a girl at a bar a brand new BMW? No way its like a dollar to him! But is this supplication? Shhhiiit yeah! Like we said your mates a supplicator!


I was skeptical at his approach and even gave him a lecture, he didnt care, but was still reeling in women like mad
How about you become a "PUA" like him, get a better job so now you can put aside 100+ bucks every week so you can approach more women with a drink!

You see in this life that no matter how great your final product is but if you make it out of **** or base it on **** then all its gonna be IS ****!

 

[NZ guy212]

Hey don't not having the cash to buy many drinks. Probaly most of us guy don't have that much to spend at the bar. Hell, I don't even anough for myself sometimes. Having said that though I do not buy a girl a drink (if I do at all) when I first meet her untill after I have chatted for a while. Normally I wouldn't anyway unless I am keen for one myself. Like the other guys say there are lot of girls out there who just will use for a free drink. So if you really feel you have to, don't do it untill you feel have it in the bag, don't even hint at buying her a drink untill you think you will be seeing her again.