Result! Glad I listened to you guys.

[bugsquish]

As many of you were aware, I have been getting my knickers in a twist over whether to call Claire back after our good albiet strange weekend.

Full story
The "should I call her" thread

Late last night I got a reply to my text from her:

"Hiya! Dont know if you''ll get this message or not. Had a really good weknd too! Soz about the emo thing. Tried phoning u but your phone was off. Speak l8r! XcX"

This is all good! Means I have the power back right? I'm so glad I listened to you guys and didn't call her. The fact that she texted back at nearly midnight must mean she was sitting thinking about me, and probably wondering why I didn't call. Aww poor thing

 

[echo1212]

One question---was your phone really off? From reading your other posts sounds like she has other things going on in her dating life..issues...whatever, but something is. To me this girl sounds really flaky and her IL in you is average i would say. Your best bet is to quit calling her every day or texting her. Let her call you more than vice versa-about a 3 to 1 ratio. You need her to think that she doesnt have you dangling by a string for her IL to increase, otherwise youll get some quick sex out of this but she'll dump you soon. Discuss.

 

[bugsquish]

Yea, my phone was off. I have called her only 3 times and texted twice in the last 3 weeks. Her IL has to be high to come back to mine for sex twice in the same night, right? And she did seem very happy to refer to me as her "boyfriend".

But yea, you're right about the issues. The main one is that her IL is definetely higher for her ex and that's the problem I'm gonna have to deal with now. She's also quite good at keeping the power in discussions where I am not really trained in this art yet.

echo1212: You need her to think that she doesnt have you dangling by a string for her IL to increase, otherwise youll get some quick sex out of this but she'll dump you soon.
This is exactly what I'm worrying about. Not sure how to go about getting that call ratio up. But how's this for a trick? My HB ex is coming to stay over on my couch, in my room, for a few days. Claire already knows that me and Emma (the ex) hung out before she came onto the scene so she can't expect me to suddenly stop. It's purely platonic but lets see what Claire thinks of that. Bwahaha

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by echo1212
One question---was your phone really off? From reading your other posts sounds like she has other things going on in her dating life..issues...whatever, but something is. To me this girl sounds really flaky and her IL in you is average i would say. Your best bet is to quit calling her every day or texting her. Let her call you more than vice versa-about a 3 to 1 ratio. You need her to think that she doesnt have you dangling by a string for her IL to increase, otherwise youll get some quick sex out of this but she'll dump you soon. Discuss.

Good catch Echo, I completely agree...

 

[echo1212]

Honestly, if you WANT a relationship out of this, you need to NOT play any games with her. Make her realize that they are beneath you, not worth your time for someone as wordly and mature as you (not saying you are or arent, but you need to express that confidence ) And you need to quit spending so much time and effort on this one girl. I know it can be addiciting to do so, we've all been there, but believe me when i say the best thing to do is to go on with your normal life and have fun, and let things fall where they may without getting to emotionally involved in this UNTIL it becomes more serious. Right now your just setting yourself up for a fall, at the expense of everything else going on in your life. Relax, have fun, enjoy!

 

[bugsquish]

Okay, I don't want to come across as playing games. I wouldn't mind a relationship, but I want to bring it back onto my terms. On Saturday I basically handed all the power over to her, and let her know she had me. Fell for her tests.

So based on the way the weekend went, she probably expected me to call on Sunday. Instead I texted quite late saying I'd call through the week. Still, she would've been expecting me to call yesterday. Now I was going to call yesterday but on the advice of the DJs here I didn't. From her decision to reply to my text late last night she must have been thinking she has put me off with her little games (hence the apology) since I hadn't called her yet.

Doesn't look like I'm playing games just not dangling on a thread like you said. And Emma would be coming to stay regardless of whether I was seeing Claire or not.

The main thing for me is, although I'd like this to work out, I have no chance of developing one-itis for this girl. I have other options. I'm keeping her - emotionally - at an arms length. I'm not gonna get hurt. Just practise I guess Unless it works then wahey a bonus