Responses to the "Call me to confirm"

Armand

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What would be a smoothe way to respond to the old, "Sure i'd like to go, but could you call me that day a few hours before to confirm?" and the variances to that?

I know you have to retain the control here by not agreeing to that, but what would be the best ways of saying no?

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Armand

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Nevermind, i think i've got it now.
 

maranathaman

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Originally posted by Armand:
What would be a smoothe way to respond to the old, "Sure i'd like to go, but could you call me that day a few hours before to confirm?" and the variances to that?

I know you have to retain the control here by not agreeing to that, but what would be the best ways of saying no?

I'd say, "Maybe we should get together some other time instead when you're able to be more sure of your schedule." Cause if you let her do that, She's playin ya, taken you for granted, and looking for a way to blow-you off at the last minute...AND THAT SUX! Been there, done that.
~Andy
 

Armand

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Originally posted by maranathaman:
Originally posted by Armand:
What would be a smoothe way to respond to the old, "Sure i'd like to go, but could you call me that day a few hours before to confirm?" and the variances to that?

I know you have to retain the control here by not agreeing to that, but what would be the best ways of saying no?

I'd say, "Maybe we should get together some other time instead when you're able to be more sure of your schedule." Cause if you let her do that, She's playin ya, taken you for granted, and looking for a way to blow-you off at the last minute...AND THAT SUX! Been there, done that.
~Andy

Oh I definitely know not to accept those terms, she wouldn't respect that.

I think if she pulls this little manuever, she's either keeping you as a backup, in case her other date plans don't work out, or either she's testing to see how easily you give in to her demands - one of the nice guy tests.
 

Peak

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Say "sure", then don't call and stand her up.

Wait for her call a few days later. If she doesn't call then forget her.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BigBadJon

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One of my female "friends" did this to me last week. "Friend" meaning I was initially attracted to her, but after spending time with her I decided I didn't want to go there.

I called her up asking if she wanted to play pool. She said yes, but for me to call her when she got home. "Why?" I asked. She replies, "well, cause I haven't been home all day and I need to see what's going on first". She lives alone, what could be going on?

So I say, "Well I really need to know now. I need 100% or 0 %. None of this 50% stuff. You know, I can always find someone to go."

She has the impression that I am a player, so this seemed to put her in her place.

Only thing is, after my stellar oscar worthy performance, I still gave in!!! What a fool I was! I felt like the biggest loser when I got off the phone.

Anyways, she did call me later that night and we did get together so I didn't feel so bad after that.

I think that this time got rid of my take crap from women personality for good. At least I realized what was happening while it was happening and made a feeble effort to counter. It won't happen again, I can assure you.

[This message has been edited by BigBadJon (edited 11-02-2000).]
 

Peak

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It's great to see that everyone is starting to make progress on this forum. I haven't read any whingeing posts for ages.

Well done on realising WTF was going on while it was happening BBJ. Next time I know you will be in control.


Cheers.

[This message has been edited by Peak (edited 11-02-2000).]
 

Anti-Dump

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Originally posted by Armand:

but what would be the best ways of saying no?

It doesn't matter WHAT you say. You will never speak to her again.

Okay, I say "Sorry, I'm not interested. Take care." Then I hang up.

Anytime a women wants to change your initial approach, just counter with "I'm not interested" then counter-offer.

You: Let's do dinner Saturday.

Her: I feel like bowling.

You: I'm not interested in bowling. Let's do pool.

Remember this is ONLY for the first and second date. And it's a test of interest to see if she follows your lead the SECOND time.

If she doesn't follow with the second request, say "Listen.Let's do this another time. Take care."
Then don't call back. She is too INFLEXABLE to date.

AD
 

Armand

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Originally posted by BigBadJon:
One of my female "friends" did this to me last week. "Friend" meaning I was initially attracted to her, but after spending time with her I decided I didn't want to go there.

I called her up asking if she wanted to play pool. She said yes, but for me to call her when she got home. "Why?" I asked. She replies, "well, cause I haven't been home all day and I need to see what's going on first". She lives alone, what could be going on?
Good point! Hmmm..Her goldfish?
hehe barf


So I say, "Well I really need to know now. I need 100% or 0 %. None of this 50% stuff. You know, I can always find someone to go."

She has the impression that I am a player, so this seemed to put her in her place.

Only thing is, after my stellar oscar worthy performance, I still gave in!!! What a fool I was! I felt like the biggest loser when I got off the phone.

Anyways, she did call me later that night and we did get together so I didn't feel so bad after that.

I think that this time got rid of my take crap from women personality for good. At least I realized what was happening while it was happening and made a feeble effort to counter. It won't happen again, I can assure you.

[This message has been edited by BigBadJon (edited 11-02-2000).]
Yeah.. I have those weak moments too when it's happening. But at least, like you, i'm catching everything that's happening now and not repeating them anymore.

[This message has been edited by Armand (edited 11-03-2000).]
 

Armand

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Originally posted by Anti-Dump:
It doesn't matter WHAT you say. You will never speak to her again.

Okay, I say "Sorry, I'm not interested. Take care." Then I hang up.

Anytime a women wants to change your initial approach, just counter with "I'm not interested" then counter-offer.

You: Let's do dinner Saturday.

Her: I feel like bowling.

You: I'm not interested in bowling. Let's do pool.

Remember this is ONLY for the first and second date. And it's a test of interest to see if she follows your lead the SECOND time.

If she doesn't follow with the second request, say "Listen.Let's do this another time. Take care."
Then don't call back. She is too INFLEXABLE to date.

AD
Thanks AD, that's what I was looking for - the verbage (as well as that extra, about the "not interested - counteroffer"). I know to say no, just didn't know the most effective way of putting it, if you will. I like to come off smoothe, and not tactless like, "No thanks, bye.," but more like everyone's suggestions here.
 

BigBadJon

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Originally posted by Armand:
Thanks AD, that's what I was looking for - the verbage (as well as that extra, about the "not interested - counteroffer"). I know to say no, just didn't know the most effective way of putting it, if you will. I like to come off smoothe, and not tactless like, "No thanks, bye.," but more like everyone's suggestions here.
Yea, it's all about saving face and not letting it seem as if any of this stuff gets to you. I guess the first step is to realize things while they are happening, the second step is to learn to be able to exit gracefully.
 

Armand

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Originally posted by BigBadJon:
Yea, it's all about saving face and not letting it seem as if any of this stuff gets to you. I guess the first step is to realize things while they are happening, the second step is to learn to be able to exit gracefully.

That's it, that is the first step. I noticed things beginning to change - once I began to be aware of things as they happened. Now, i'm just trying to perfect my grace at responding and improving to the situations.

Still have mishaps here and there, but growing pains are alowed for a while I suppose.
 

rdonsteele

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"Sure i'd like to go, but could you call me that day a few hours before to confirm?" and the variances to that?

GREAT ANSWER: I'd say, "Maybe we should get together some other time instead when you're able to be more sure of your schedule." Cause if you let her do that, She's playin ya, taken you for granted, and looking for a way to blow-you off at the last minute...AND THAT SUX! Been there, done that.
~Andy

This is a great reply!

However, I see what she did as a TEST of the Steel Content of your balls. Women have to find out if you are a Boy or a Man capable of protecting and providing. If you are a Boy, she is immediately NOT INTERESTED in sending her DNA into the future with you!

I teach and preach that Men have to accept that female will test them. Don't assume she's a game player or taking you for granted. Assume that SHE IS INTERESTED and therefore SHE IS TESTING to see if you are WORTHY. Boys ain't. Men might be. There will be more tests and after that still more tests.

Aloha, R. Don Steele




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Surfboard

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Hey R. Don Steele

I love your books. I especially like the "Date Young Women" book. Alot of insight to what I call "chick logic."
You guys on this forum should invest some money into a couple of his books.
 

terminator911

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Great responses!

When a girl says something like that it usually means that if nothing else comes up then she would go out with you. So you are her last priority on her list.

F*ck that, you ask a question and should get a yes or no answer, a maybe is just UNACCEPTABLE! Only losers take maybe for an answer.

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Pimpologist

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What would be a smoothe way to respond to the old, "Sure i'd like to go, but could you call me that day a few hours before to confirm?" and the variances to that?

Here’s a gem:

You: “I have a better idea, I’ll be there at <time> unless one of us calls to cancel…ok”

Her: (accepts defeat) “Ok”


Key Points:
  • This prevents you from having to give her an unnecessary call before the date
  • It forces her to call you if she wants to cancel.
  • You make yourself more of a challenge by having hinted at canceling the date yourself.


“It’s your game, stay on top of it”
-Masta Pimp


[This message has been edited by Pimpologist (edited 09-04-2001).]
 

BigBill

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Thanks for the info guys.

I learn new stuff all the time. to see a good example of how things can quickly turn to sh** when you agree to 'call to confirm' look at my 'catholic girl' post. Its kind of funny but I'd rather have had things go smoother from the get go.

From now on I'm going to tell a girl 'Call to confirm? What am I a dentist or something? when I say I'll be somewhere I'll be there. I'll call if I CAN'T make it.
 

bondjamesbond

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Speaking for myself, I never had a problem with confirmation calls.....I use to do it all the time. But it was always me who said that I would call about a day or so ahead of time to make certain things were still on. It was my own little test. If they acted even the least bit half-hearted or wanted to back out then I dropped them like a bad habit and never gave them a second thought again. Only once did I excuse a chick for not being able to show......She had to go to the hospital because of an attack of appendicitis. So things do happen.

I can't tell you the number of times some broads would call me again and again trying to set something back up after I felt they burned me. But they all got the same response-----CLICK------

I think a confirmation call can be reasonable within limits that you, yourself , set.

But don't ever break rule #1.......
Never, never, NEVER, kiss a woman's @ss!

Best Wishes>>>BJB
 

Interested2

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Originally posted by bondjamesbond:


But don't ever break rule #1.......
Never, never, NEVER, kiss a woman's @ss!

Best Wishes>>>BJB
This is a good rule.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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