Response to girls who get sad when your jokes are too mean

[thermodynamic]

How do you guys like to deal with a girl when you hurt her feelings when your jokes went too far?

 

[Murk]

Disregard unless genuine (rarely).

Again today my girlfriend was crying on the phone, she switches on the waterworks if we argue or she decides she wants to be offended or wants to switch blame on to me. I pretty much ignore it then said why are you crying in a stern voice, she soon stops the blubbering. Took a while to understand it but after a few relationships I started seeing patterns, or maybe I am choosing women that love to get offended and guilt trip me.

I actually take offence when people try to manipulate me. Crying used to work on me with a previous girlfriend, girl starts crying or being upset, I start pandering and back pedal my argument. Take notice of how quick her demeanour changes back to normal once you apologise or back down, real sadness/emotion can’t be flipped on and off like a switch unless they are a psychopath.

Nowadays, if you cry to me or seek sympathy as a from manipulation I shut down emotionally. You should start practicing it too because this won’t be the first time a women flips something on you by being sad/offended/upset.

Im not talking about genuine sadness for something you’ve done, just the usual you exposing them in some form so they try to wriggle out being cvnting manipulators. I sound so cynical.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Leave

Either she's manipulating you or she has a brittle spirit

 

[Billtx49]

How do you guys like to deal with a girl when you hurt her feelings when your jokes went too far?

If you start crossing the line between humor and hurtful then redefine your social etiquette …
Absolutely no need to hurt a woman with your words.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

If you start crossing the line between humor and hurtful then redefine your social etiquette …
Absolutely no need to hurt a woman with your words.

Depends on context. If they're about her, yes. Otherwise she can fvck off.

 

[logicallefty]

The only way I’ll throw a hurtful joke directly at a woman is if she is passive aggressive to me first. Even then I’ll give her one free pass. But after the second passive aggressive jab at me she gets a left punch right to the t\/\/at.

 

[Billtx49]

Yes, a hurtful joke is obviously a passive aggressive statement …
Before two people get involved in tossing this type of toxic communication at each other, it’s time for the gentleman to say goodbye …
He knows there’s many other women around the corner for him….

 

[logicallefty]

Yes, a hurtful joke is obviously a passive aggressive statement …
Before two people get involved in tossing this type of toxic communication at each other, it’s time for the gentleman to say goodbye …
He knows there’s many other women around the corner for him….

In a dating context I agree with you. If you can walk away then sometimes that’s the best option. But sometimes you can’t. Not easily. Here’s an example experience I had. Wife and I were in the grocery checkout line. I was busting my wife’s chops over something, joking around like we always do. I don’t even remember what the topic was but it was our usual funny back-and-forth. Cashier ringing up our groceries said to me “Wow you don’t treat her very well”. I said “Oh This ain’t serious we are just having some fun.” Wife said “ He treats me great we do this kind of stuff all the time.” . Cashier says to my wife “wow I think your man is no good for you. Im sorry but I sure wouldn’t put up with that from a man” . So I said “ok thanks for sharing and I think you are a real bit(h, Finish ringing up my stuff please”. The cashier said “I shouldn’t have said anything. “ But then starts trying to tell us about her ‘abusive ex’”. I said “I Don’t care what you have to say just shut the fvck up and finish ringing up our groceries so we can get out of here.” Cashier started crying and apologized. I don’t feel a bit guilty about how I treated her. She should Have minded her own business from the start, and kept her opinions to herself. especially when my wife said all was fine.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Learn where the limit is

 

[Billtx49]

In a dating context I agree with you. If you can walk away then sometimes that’s the best option. But sometimes you can’t. Not easily. Here’s an example experience I had. Wife and I were in the grocery checkout line. I was busting my wife’s chops over something, joking around like we always do. I don’t even remember what the topic was but it was our usual funny back-and-forth. Cashier ringing up our groceries said to me “Wow you don’t treat her very well”. I said “Oh This ain’t serious we are just having some fun.” Wife said “ He treats me great we do this kind of stuff all the time.” . Cashier says to my wife “wow I think your man is no good for you. Im sorry but I sure wouldn’t put up with that from a man” . So I said “ok thanks for sharing and I think you are a real bit(h, Finish ringing up my stuff please”. The cashier said “I shouldn’t have said anything. “ But then starts trying to tell us about her ‘abusive ex’”. I said “I Don’t care what you have to say just shut the fvck up and finish ringing up our groceries so we can get out of here.” Cashier started crying and apologized. I don’t feel a bit guilty about how I treated her. She should Have minded her own business from the start, and kept her opinions to herself. especially when my wife said all was fine.

I understand. You were joking around in public with wifey and encountered a b|tch that didn’t have enough sense to do her job and keep her mouth shut. She intruded into your personal married life communications.

I would have only informed the store management tho, your interaction with her escalated that unfortunate situation …

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

How do you guys like to deal with a girl when you hurt her feelings when your jokes went too far?

Leave, sounds like a social manipulator that will constantly cry and gas light you.

This is a “huge” red flag OP, not a cute characteristic. I’m assuming you aren’t being a total ass clown though.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Jokes that hurt your girl are put downs. Put downs lower interest level. Need to find better jokes…

 

[Knight of Roses]

Hurtful jokes lower interest level. A good “neg” is never hurtful, it’s suppose to be challenging and exciting, building up the chemistry. Hurting her feelings will do the opposite.
I would analyze what you said to her and make a mental note of it so you don’t make same mistake again.

 

[thermodynamic]

Hurtful jokes lower interest level. A good “neg” is never hurtful, it’s suppose to be challenging and exciting, building up the chemistry. Hurting her feelings will do the opposite.
I would analyze what you said to her and make a mental note of it so you don’t make same mistake again.

The "jokes" or negative comments were, calling them annoying, telling them to loose weight, criticism of their cooking, mention of other girls, and tricking them into thinking they owed me money then telling them it was a joke. The get in shape and construcvtive criticism of the cooking were done with good intentions, the other comments were intended as slightly mean jokes. It also seems when you just meet a girl she can handle much meaner jokes, but when she starts to catch feelings she cannot handle it anymore.

 

[Knight of Roses]

The "jokes" or negative comments were, calling them annoying, telling them to loose weight, criticism of their cooking, mention of other girls, and tricking them into thinking they owed me money then telling them it was a joke. The get in shape and construcvtive criticism of the cooking were done with good intentions, the other comments were intended as slightly mean jokes. It also seems when you just meet a girl she can handle much meaner jokes, but when she starts to catch feelings she cannot handle it anymore.

LOL. You made fun of a girls weight and you expect her to open her legs for you??

 

[IKO69]

I honestly can't really say i've ever had that problem. I would chalk it up to either going overboard (what you said was probably genuinely offensive) or we are talking about someone with low interest (no patience and any kind of playful digs will annoy her).

If the interest is there, you don't have this problem unless you say something really bad.

 

[thermodynamic]

Well I decided to play it super chill and not say anything offensive or ruffle her feathers ... she must have caught on to the fact I was not my usual self ... pretty soon she was being rude and I had this bad feeling..... I calmly told her I did not like her attitude in a firm way. She tried to argue, I left the room. When I came back , she was cool.

 

[Veréngárda]

Double down.

 

[thermodynamic]

To be honest it does not seem to matter so much. Sometimes it seems girls will find it embarrassing that I get to them with the jokes and they themselves will try to act like it did not get to them. They will also start to find someway to get back at me (as long as its in a playful matter its fine) It seems they will usually need a little time to feel better, so that when they need they're space.

 

[Veréngárda]

To be honest it does not seem to matter so much. Sometimes it seems girls will find it embarrassing that I get to them with the jokes and they themselves will try to act like it did not get to them. They will also start to find someway to get back at me (as long as its in a playful matter its fine) It seems they will usually need a little time to feel better, so that when they need they're space.

Clearly you've never debated a man who constantly spams the word "amusing" as if he's not breaking down on the inside.

But yes.. it's incredibly annoying. At that point it's really swing or don't.