Respect or pvssy...

[Die Hard]

Just wondering what your thoughts are on this.

Girl is being hot&cold from the beginning. I cold approached her and talked to her for a while before, ended up exchanging numbers. Then the texting game followed: I pursue her, she withdraws... So I withdraw too and whatd'ya know? She pursues me... I recognized the pattern very quickly and decided to play it hard. When she started pursuing me, I kept withdrawing and rejecting her, not once but repeatedly. She tried to get us to meetup several times but I just didn't give in.

After two or three attempts of her, I made a counter offer to her last Sunday and she jumped on it, we agreed to meet up this Saturday. We had agreed about the place but not yet about the time. So I waited till yesterday to contact her. I simply opened her with "Hi there" on WhatsApp but she didn't reply, even though she was online and has been online lots of times since yesterday.

So she's intentionally ignoring me... I take this as disrespect and now I don't even want to meet up with her anymore. Here's the thing, though: Suppose she texts me tonight, directly asking me what time we're gonna meet tomorrow and just acting like my "Hi there" from yesterday and her ignoring it never took place?

I am sick and tired of this kind of behavior and like I said, I don't even want to meetup with stupid cvnts like these anymore. At the same time, this voice inside me tells me not to be so rigid. Girls play games all the time, shyt tests here and there, all that bullshyt. Just shrug it off, if she wants to meetup tomorrow and you can bang her brains out, then what the fvck do you care about her stupid games?

I take her ignoring me as disrespect but hey, do I really need her respect? I respect myself, don't I? I don't need her for that... So why should I even care? If I just disregard the fact that she ignored me and can pound her pvssy after all, shouldn't I just do it?

Yet I can't. I just feel disgust for her now and would rather make her drive up to my city and then tell her she came for nothing and should turn around, lol. The satisfaction of putting her in her place would probably mean more to me than actually fvcking her.

I keep running into these situations over the years and always question myself. Should I hold up my principles and not tolerate disrespectful behavior like this? Or should I learn not to make a big deal out of it, shrug my shoulders and just accept that this is the price I have to pay in order to fvck her?

What's your take on this, guys?

 

[The Duke]

There are a lot of girls out there that act like this. It used to bother the hell out of me too. I finally realized that girls like this require large amounts of constant "game" to keep their vag tingling. Keeping one interested is very tiresome and never worth the effort in the end. These types also tend to have cluster B personality disorders.

Eventually I stopped entertaining girls like this and quit fueling their emotional roller coaster they love to ride. Don't let these sluhts drag you down to their level. Bail out before they have a chance.

Women that can't act right don't deserve any attention.

I bet this girl is an HB8 or better and you don't have many other options right now?

 

[zekko]

I always have to have the respect. From reading this forum, that makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me though, lol. A lot of guys here seem to value the pvssy above all.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Die Hard,
However you look at it this is a lose,lose situation for you...leave her for some sucker down the line!

 

[Die Hard]

I fvcking knew it...

She texted me just now:

Heyyy
OK ok gh
OK I mean
I was super busy
How are you?

Haven't replied yet and won't reply anyway until she cuts the bull**** and starts about the specifics (what time) for our meetup tomorrow. Regardless, I'm hesitant whether I should blow it off or go through, if she still intends to come...

She will come over to my city, so it's not like I have anything to lose. I don't have to rearrange my day if she comes or whatever. So right now I'm inclined to give it a try if she wants to come... But I won't talk to her unless she gets down to business and asks what time to meet or something.

 

[apprenticedj]

You'd be best served to forget about her. Her behaviour demonstrates AW tendencies, not worth the time or effort IMO.

 

[Die Hard]

Beyond what I told you guys here, I've noticed other red flags and she's totally cluster B material.

So yeah, she's definitely not worth investing time and effort. But that doesn't necesarily mean I have to refuse to meet with her tomorrow. To put it in extremes: If I were to go to bed tonight and suddenly find her hidden under my blankets, should I not fvck her? Of course I should fvck her then, lol. What would I have to lose?

I'm willing to meet up with her, but only under the condition that I invest little to nothing and go in with no expectancies. It will be completely my way or the highway...if she displays unacceptable behavior, I walk. If she tries to grab the frame, I'll make clear that it's MINE. If she doesn't comply, I walk. If she tries to tease me with sex but then puts up LMR, I walk...

She gets a chance to please me and if I get annoyed by her, I just walk. In that case, I'm gonna go out clubbing with my pal later that day anyway.

But hey, she first has to make the meet happen before she gets the chance to please me. Coz right now, nothing's gonna happen. I won't reply to that last message of hers and I won't reply to anything that follows, unless it's her asking me to meet up with her tomorrow.



EDIT: I didn't see your post until after I posted this one, samspade. But yeah, basically you summed up my position towards the situation:

So if she wants to make it easy and make it up to you by showing you a good time, fine. Otherwise next.

 

[guru1000]

Always choose respect. Just be careful what you include in your "rule" of respect. Strong belief systems can make or break you.

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

So she's intentionally ignoring me... I take this as disrespect and now I don't even want to meet up with her anymore. Here's the thing, though: Suppose she texts me tonight, directly asking me what time we're gonna meet tomorrow and just acting like my "Hi there" from yesterday and her ignoring it never took place?

Tell her you made other plans because she didn't respond and therefore you assumed she wasn't interested. Then cut all contact and never speak, nor think of this chick again.

Case closed.

 

[Desdinova]

I really think it's interesting how most of the guys on this forum categorize women or demand respect before the first date, solely based on the frequency of her texts and responses.

Here's some things to think about...

1) You have no clue WTF is going on in her life because you don't know her.

2) She doesn't know you either. You could be a typical AFC or a rapist. She's going to be nervous about meeting up with you.

3) Some women are absolutely glued to their phone while others ignore it for hours at a time.

4) Women live in the moment of their emotions. If she's having a good time with friends, a text message from some guy she doesn't know isn't going to give her the emotional trigger to pull herself away from her friends to text you back. Once you become significant in her life, then she will respond more quickly.

The best thing you can do between the first meeting and the first date is keep the interactions fun, humorous, and playful. Women can warm up very quickly when most of your text messages are interesting.

Keeping all this stuff in mind will cut down on your flakes.

 

[Zunder]

I really think it's interesting how most of the guys on this forum categorize women or demand respect before the first date, solely based on the frequency of her texts and responses.

Here's some things to think about...

1) You have no clue WTF is going on in her life because you don't know her.

2) She doesn't know you either. You could be a typical AFC or a rapist. She's going to be nervous about meeting up with you.

3) Some women are absolutely glued to their phone while others ignore it for hours at a time.

4) Women live in the moment of their emotions. If she's having a good time with friends, a text message from some guy she doesn't know isn't going to give her the emotional trigger to pull herself away from her friends to text you back. Once you become significant in her life, then she will respond more quickly.

The best thing you can do between the first meeting and the first date is keep the interactions fun, humorous, and playful. Women can warm up very quickly when most of your text messages are interesting.

Keeping all this stuff in mind will cut down on your flakes.

Why should he give a flying fuk what is going on in her life? What you guys need to start remembering that it is YOUR LIFE, YOUR WAY or the HIGHWAY. Fuk this compromise shyt. She is either interested or she isn't, I don't care what else she has going on in her stupid little girl life if she is interested she'd make sure she gets in your good books and not be a flakey little AW. If she is the typical flakey chick with the attention span of a 5 year old that is glued to her phone, then all the more reason to avoid her like the fukn plague.

 

[zekko]

Girl is being hot&cold from the beginning. I cold approached her and talked to her for a while before, ended up exchanging numbers. Then the texting game followed: I pursue her, she withdraws... So I withdraw too and whatd'ya know? She pursues me... I recognized the pattern very quickly and decided to play it hard. When she started pursuing me, I kept withdrawing and rejecting her, not once but repeatedly. She tried to get us to meetup several times but I just didn't give in.

My problem with this is too much game playing from the get go. I don't like to bother with girls who don't show appropriate high interest. I know Die Hard is just looking to add a notch to his belt here, though, so he's just trying to reel her in. Personally, I doubt that I would bother, but it's all part of the game, I guess.

 

[Die Hard]

Clap clap! Tell it, Zunder!!

Zunder is right, Des. I understand where you're coming from, sometimes one can be anal about it and expect too much, responding to minor disrespect as if she just spat in our face. I know it's something you've been struggling with and so have I.
But what you said in your last post shows that you're leaning too much to the other side of the scale right now. That's what victims of BPD chicks do, they keep making excuses for her terrible behavior, trying to ascribe her unacceptable behavior to a reasonable cause, which makes her behavior acceptable to them and makes them put up with it...

As for my situation, this girl has basically been online on Whatsapp CONTINUOUSLY during the next 18 hours or so after I messaged her. This, combined with the fact that she's been displaying enough red flags and cluster B behavior, tells me exactly what she's doing.

I replied to her this afternoon, told her: I'm doing fine, how about you?

She replied: I'm doing fine too. Very busy day and very busy week!

LOL, I guess she's trying to anticipate me asking her if our meetup is still on for today, by saying she has a very busy day. She doesn't realize that I don't give a rat's azz about meeting up with her since she ignored me two days ago. Oh well, let her dream on about how she is "playing" me, I'm sure she thinks that I'm very disappointed and boosts her ego with that thought. I don't even feel the need to prove to her that that thought is far from the truth.

Actually, that's the big win for me here. In the past, I would get quite upset in situations like these and be frustrated like hell, lol. Actually, I felt a bit like that when she ignored me. But since I started this thread and gave it some more thought, I really couldn't care less and shrug my shoulders about it. Which is a big win to me. I'm fvcking confident lately and getting lots of ioi's from chicks wherever I go.

Off to party in the club tonight, gonna have me sum fun!!

 

[Die Hard]

You're right, Zekko. I knew she was trouble from the get go, from the moment I met her in real life.
To me, the great thing about it all is that I was/am able to pursue her without really becoming outcome dependent.
The old me should not have pursued her, coz he would've been setting himself up for trouble, seeing as she was displaying red flags from the beginning. He'd be disappointed if he failed to get her!
But now, I feel I got nothing to lose. If I get her, I'm happy about it... But if I don't get her, I shrug my shoulders about it... Major improvement for me, personally!

 

[Greasy Pig]

I agree about the need for some goddamn fvcking respect from these bishes. But I also think you're over-analysing a touch.
You know she's a fruit loop, you know she could do with a damn good spanking to wake up to herself and you know she's not a high priority for you.
I say play it cool because you are in a real position of strength. You can see the game unfolding before she even plays her hand.
Laugh it off, meet up, bang the shyt out of her and keep her at arm's length.
If she flakes again, she's gone. But if not, pound her into submission, pull her hair, call her a wh0re and add another notch to your belt.

The shyt these women pull is truly laughable. Don't let it affect you. You know the deal, so work it to your advantage, I say!

 

[Desdinova]

But what you said in your last post shows that you're leaning too much to the other side of the scale right now. That's what victims of BPD chicks do, they keep making excuses for her terrible behavior, trying to ascribe her unacceptable behavior to a reasonable cause, which makes her behavior acceptable to them and makes them put up with it...

The thing is, this stuff is extremely common when you meet a woman, and I honestly don't think putting high expectations on a woman in the beginning is a formula for dodging a bullet or gaining a quality woman. However, there is a certain point where you can expect respect from her, and that's usually after a few dates.

The only thing you can expect from a woman in the beginning is for her to follow where her emotions are going. If you're not able to reel her in emotionally in the beginning, her interest will fall by the wayside rather quickly because she has nothing else to go on. Women will not give you the time of day solely because you're a man, or because it's the right thing to do. They will give you the time of day if you're stimulating her emotions.

So many guys on here say things like "I have better things to do than put effort into stimulating a woman's emotions." Just remember, you're going to get out what you put into it. If you don't put effort into attracting the woman, you're going to get little to no effort on her part. She expects you to take the lead in the mating dance.

 

[G_Govan]

The thing is, this stuff is extremely common when you meet a woman, and I honestly don't think putting high expectations on a woman in the beginning is a formula for dodging a bullet or gaining a quality woman. However, there is a certain point where you can expect respect from her, and that's usually after a few dates.

The only thing you can expect from a woman in the beginning is for her to follow where her emotions are going. If you're not able to reel her in emotionally in the beginning, her interest will fall by the wayside rather quickly because she has nothing else to go on. Women will not give you the time of day solely because you're a man, or because it's the right thing to do. They will give you the time of day if you're stimulating her emotions.

So many guys on here say things like "I have better things to do than put effort into stimulating a woman's emotions." Just remember, you're going to get out what you put into it. If you don't put effort into attracting the woman, you're going to get little to no effort on her part. She expects you to take the lead in the mating dance.

I would say this has more to do with guys who "cold approach" women and/or try to hook women close to or above their SMV.

When you ask a woman out who gave no prior indication of interest, this is most likely what you'll experience.

When you work harder than she does you have to accept the fact that you aren't considered an equal, at the very least. Even if you believe you've won-her-over, you better be prepared to spend most of your time jumping through hoops to maintain the relationship. Sometimes that in itself isn't enough and if the balance is too off, it will fall apart anyway.

Respect is the first thing I'd look for, I won't ever compromise on that.