Resisting contacting

[djthiago1]

I'm not talking about NC, me and my girlfriend are completelly fine in our relationship, the problem is that i like her a lot, and it's VERY HARD not being clingy, when we're not together i try a lot to not text her all the time, tips or advices anyone? :cheer:

 

[TheCWord]

I think you have to force yourself to think logically (it's what separates us from women) and then your emotions will balance out.

So, logically: think about how great your relationship is with your girlfriend and how much you love her. You want that to last, right? Well, you also know that if you do come off too clingy, if you're not letting her put in at least 51% of the effort, that the relationship will eventually end. You don't have to understand why or how, but you know from reading this site and perhaps your own life experience that this will happen.

Every time you resist contacting her, you are at the very least maintaining her attraction level if not increasing it.

Plus, it's going to enhance the time you do spend together. You'll have more to talk about. So the next time you have the urge to send her a text message about absolutely nothing or to call just to say hi, remember that by giving your relationship room to breathe you are doing it because you like her so much.

 

[Yewki]

It doesn't matter if she finds out you're an AFC clinger... take her out of the picture. The problem is, you're an AFC clinger. Your life outside of the relationship must not be good... because if this girl comes first you're not taking it very seriously. This should disturb you. Does it?

 

[El Payaso]

Be busy. If you're busy, you won't get the urge to contact her all the time. Work, school, hobbies, exercise etc

 

[djthiago1]

It doesn't matter if she finds out you're an AFC clinger... take her out of the picture. The problem is, you're an AFC clinger. Your life outside of the relationship must not be good... because if this girl comes first you're not taking it very seriously. This should disturb you. Does it?

Doesn't matter what i am, what matters is what i show and what she thinks i am. I could be the biggest AFC ever inside and it won't matter if i contain it.

 

[djthiago1]

Be busy. If you're busy, you won't get the urge to contact her all the time. Work, school, hobbies, exercise etc

That's what i do, but no one is 100% always busy, that free time thooo :crazy:

 

[GotED?]

It is the INSECURITY and NEED FOR AFFECTION and ATTENTION that drives you to such state of neediness.

I used to be the same way - only way to get over it is to THOROUGHLY examine your psyche and where that came from in childhood.

Unfortunately, most of this is derived from how we were treated by our mothers, and then later in life by other girls/women subsequently blowing away our self-esteem during our 20's..

Until you can see yourself as THE PRIZE, you will suffer inconsequently for feeling you are not good enough (this clinginess for attention, affection, and can't stand being by yourself)

Be well.

Exodus

 

[djthiago1]

It is the INSECURITY and NEED FOR AFFECTION and ATTENTION that drives you to such state of neediness.

I used to be the same way - only way to get over it is to THOROUGHLY examine your psyche and where that came from in childhood.

Unfortunately, most of this is derived from how we were treated by our mothers, and then later in life by other girls/women subsequently blowing away our self-esteem during our 20's..

Until you can see yourself as THE PRIZE, you will suffer inconsequently for feeling you are not good enough (this clinginess for attention, affection, and can't stand being by yourself)

Be well.

Exodus

You might have over analyzed me, i think it's just the way i am, even though i'm always dying to talk to her and get all mushy, i NEVER do it.
She always (9 out 10) starts conversations (texts) and i always end them first.
I never get mushy, share my feelings, cry for affection and attention when get urges to do it.
When she ignores me i die inside, but i never give in.

I've been preparing myself for the next relationship long before i got into the one i'm in, been lurking in this forum for ages, read coutless articles, read Doc Love's The System many times, so i'm fairly sure that i know how to behave myself, all i'm saying is that it's hard!

 

[TheCWord]

When she ignores me i die inside

....Mayyyyybe work on this part.

 

[djthiago1]

....Mayyyyybe work on this part.

When i say ignore, i mean like, if i send a text and she takes 20 minutes to anwer back, that's enough for me to freak out a little :rock:

I know that's pretty stupid and that i shouldn't be, but whatever, i just hold it in. :box:

 

[Yewki]

Doesn't matter what i am, what matters is what i show and what she thinks i am. I could be the biggest AFC ever inside and it won't matter if i contain it.

This is probably one of the most pitiful responses I've read on this forum... if you're not in fact trolling, you have a tough road ahead of you.

 

[djthiago1]

This is probably one of the most pitiful responses I've read on this forum... if you're not in fact trolling, you have a tough road ahead of you.

Obviously never heard of "Fake it till you make it".
No person is born a king.

 

[Yewki]

The problem is it's clear you don't care you're a peasant so long as she thinks you're a king. You're not actually trying to become a king, but instead just trick her. At the end of the day... you're still a clingy peasant. And when she finds out and dumps you, you'll be a depressed, lonely peasant.

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

Man you are in way too deep.. When she ignores you, you die? ....
From what you are saying, she is in total control of you.
There is more to life then just talking to this girl, occupy your time better.

 

[El Payaso]

That's what i do, but no one is 100% always busy, that free time thooo :crazy:

Then don't have free time. Always stay busy. Unless you want your neediness to drive you over the edge.