Resentful a$$holes

[Jokerlsk]

Today was definitely a plus. I attempted to start to get to know one of the girls I labeled "*****y." We'll just call her mary. I don't know if you've read one of my earlier post, but this is the girl that writes "I love Jokerlsk" on my stuff sometimes....... Anyways, she sits in front of me, and didn't look too well today, so I said, "Hey, Mary, are you feeling alright?" and this other girl, who has the same name, said, "Me?" and I said, "Of course not you, you're a ghost, so it shouldn't matter how you feel." (BTW, everyone gives that girl a hard time because she's pale and we call her casper.) So Casper starts *****ing me out, and my friend tells her to stop being a *****. At that point mary said, "Who's a *****?" and I said, "You are of course." And she went on to ask if I really thought she was a *****, and I said, "Sometimes." Keep in mind I was smiling and having a good time. Then she asked if i was being serious, and I told her I was because in 8th grade she *****ed me out in front of the teacher and got me sent out of the room, and she started laughing. Anyways, she goes on to tell me that she tried talking to me last sumester, but I always came off as "Cold."
So, from that, I concluded that I need to work on my body language. My dad is a really intimidating guy, and always has closed body language, and I guess observing him over the years has caused me to gain that trait as well. Great day though

 

[intrextrovert]

I know where you're coming from man, I really do. I am 16 as well and you describe me like a year or two ago. I'm a lot better now i think, so don't lose hope

I'm also a pretty smart guy, and get good grades with ease. I used to be known as one of the smart guys too (as in negative crowd smart guys). I always found it easy to chill with the cool guys but mix in (popular) girls and i felt alone in a crowd. The only big dif I see from what you wrote is you're asian or hispanic, i'm sorry i don't remember and do not want to look back, while i'm a naturally tan white boy.

Anyway to helping you. First things, I don't think you know what you're portraying as well as you think you do. Your social skills need some flexing with girls.

If i say something you don't do, ignore it for the most part, but keep it in mind. I only know an impression of you so I will try to cover a wide thing, and some traits you may not do.

Though I know you don't mean it, you DO come off as seeing yourself as above. Try to act more modest, not in the ***** way but in the yeah im good w/e it doesn't matter/don't worry about it way. I don't know if you've seen the light about it yet, but down to it book smarts really don't matter. There's no need to brag about them or look down on people who don't get good ones. Emotional and social intelligence, and street smarts are much more important imo. I get good grades too, so don't play this off as some jealousy thing.

If you do think you're above anyone, realize you're not. You can lead them or **** with them or w/e, but you're not above anyone. Don't judge unless you get to know them well. Even those "bad" kids are usually good people (unless they're the punk overagressive type, in which case **** them). Drop smarts when you think about people or talk to them.

You do sound a little cold from what I hear of that convo. It sounds something straight out of my past; but the truth is even with a smile and what sounds to you like a good tone, some things just don't work. Like calling a girl a ***** and just leaving that in the open. It's cold and a bit awkward. Until your social skills are up try not to do "negs" like that, they're usually bad. As far as i'm concerned, I do not call a girl names or anything like that unless i know her pretty well, for girls I don't i'll only bust on their behavior or something. I really am not comfortable actually making anyone feel bad though, and believe me it is EASY to make girls feel bad if you try risky humor.

Do work on your body language and tone, as i will assume it is not up to par. But this will come with experience too and as you are mor relaxed and confident.

Most of all you need to hang around girls and talk to them more, experience is the greatest teacher. The major tip is try to be friendly always, limit the witty sarcasm unless you're with a girl that gets it totally (rare, be sure about it) and as long as you are open to them and don't insult them girls should like you. Esp. as things go along.

 

[Jokerlsk]

I'm half chinese lol. I don't understand why I should act modest. Why put yourself down? If someone gives me a compliment i'm going to say thank you, instead of "Oh, i'm not that good." Giving off that insecure crap. If book smarts don't matter then why do we have public schools? Why is every american given the opportunity to become an educated person?

 

[search1ng]

Like how do they resent you?



You know stuff. You don't sound smart to me. Knowledge != smart. You have knowledge.

There are many types of smart:
1. Physical. Like an athlete. Not a jock, an acrobat or a martial artist.
2. Verbal smarts. Someone witty that can twist words and meanings and can argue you into the ground.
3. Creative smarts. Someone who can take a bunch of junk and put it together into whatever you need.

Stuff like that.

You have knowledge, and discipline in order to gain such knowledge. But as far as smarts go, you don't have it yet judging by your response to the redneck.



No, they can't stand you because "you think you're smart and you act like you need to show it and show them they're not". What's the difference between you and the jock who thinks he's better than everyone because he plays football? Not much, you just have worse social skills with women.



Now you're getting on my nerves. I get it. YOU THINK YOU'RE SMART.



You are out of place because you choose to be. You really think they're lower than you. Some are, most are not. Just because someone does not know pi to 8 digits does not make them stupid. There's different types of knowledge too and you need to accept that and accept those people. They're just like you to an extent, just in a different way.

Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It's pretty dead on. It will help you understand some things you're doing wrong and hopefully you will then choose to fix the problems.

Good luck buddy and don't give up.

what this guy said x2.

Oh yeah, and of the responses I've read it feels like you give off a holier then thou attitude. It's not such a bad thing, you'll probably get into a nice degree, get a well paying job, settle with some homely lass, have a few kids and die.

But hey, you don't want to 'change either,' cause you're so dead-set on believing everything you do, feel and convey is right. I mean, how could you ever be possibly wrong?!

Personally i just think you need to experience more. You're so confined in your thoughts and actions it's a little suffocating. There really is no wrong or right way to go about this, you also need to realize life isn't a race and grades will not take you everywhere.

 

[The_411]

Jokerisk,

When you have to tell someone you are something you're posturing. Nobody likes a know it all and no one wants to hear it.

Do you think Clint Eastwood runs around telling people he's the coolest dude on the planet or do you think Richard Branson runs around telling people he's a great businessman ....


Do not confuse humilty with not having confidence, it's good you have a lot of confidence in yourself, but there's a line where ****sure turns into obnoxious and not attractive.

 

[sodbuster]

At the ripe old age of 49, it sounds like you like being smart. Thats OK,but don't try to use it to make yourself feel superior and don't lead off the conversation with it. I tell my sons they will be dealing with people who aren't as smart as they are for life, so they need to learn how to deal with it. First, don't skip steps in talking to others, they may not make the same jumps in logic you do. Second, have patience in dealing with them.

Now I used my age and experience in dealing with you. How would I have come off if I started out with "I'm a DENTIST with an IQ of OVER 140" ? Facts are facts,but you can seem like an azz if you lead like that.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I'm half chinese lol. I don't understand why I should act modest. Why put yourself down? If someone gives me a compliment i'm going to say thank you, instead of "Oh, i'm not that good." Giving off that insecure crap. If book smarts don't matter then why do we have public schools? Why is every american given the opportunity to become an educated person?

For a smart person, you're pretty clueless about it. Nobody cares how smart you are.

I'm not saying put yourself down, I'm saying don't prop yourself up.

 

[DJDamage]

Anyways, she sits in front of me, and didn't look too well today, so I said, "Hey, Mary, are you feeling alright?" and this other girl, who has the same name, said, "Me?" and I said, "Of course not you, you're a ghost, so it shouldn't matter how you feel." (BTW, everyone gives that girl a hard time because she's pale and we call her casper.) So Casper starts *****ing me out, and my friend tells her to stop being a *****. At that point mary said, "Who's a *****?" and I said, "You are of course." And she went on to ask if I really thought she was a *****, and I said, "Sometimes." Keep in mind I was smiling and having a good time.

So you are resentful of a$$holes who you claim are jealous of you being smart and being racists, yet you are resorting to making fun of a girl who happens to be pale white and calling her casper?!

That doesn't sound too smart to me.

I could see why people are hating on you, you can dish out insults but can't take them back. Your only crutch is being the "smart guy" and that's why they are picking on you. I know plenty of guys who were not only smart, but are great athletes and also easy to get along with. You on the other hand look for excuses as to why people hate you instead of rising above it.

Your problem is that you are pointing a finger at your ethnic background or your "supposed" intelligence as the problem of why people are a$$hole's towards you. You are no different then others kids some bully's pick on due to their overall weak characters that they know they can exploit. Highschool can be a tough place for people who don't have their sh1t together but you got to make the best out of a situation by being the "best that you can be".

 

[intrextrovert]

I'm half chinese lol. I don't understand why I should act modest. Why put yourself down? If someone gives me a compliment i'm going to say thank you, instead of "Oh, i'm not that good." Giving off that insecure crap. If book smarts don't matter then why do we have public schools? Why is every american given the opportunity to become an educated person?

Acting modest and having humility is NOT putting yourself down. First off, thank you IS the correct response to a sincere compliment. However there are different ways of doing it. Believe me, I never say "oh i'm not good" or deny a compliment; I hate it when people do that a lot, they are just being annoying/fishing for compliments (SO MUCH HATE GOD DAMN).

But consider this: someone compliments a guy's car, the complimenter doesn't have as nice of a car

A:

Person1 Hey that's an awesome ride you got
P2: Yeah it's this sweet new model X, costs a ton of money, handles amazing, 2 million horsepower, race car engine all this top of the line stuff, really just outpaces most cars I see. It's a shame you can't get a car like this one. Oh well, yours still gets you from place to place right?

B:

Person1 Hey that's an awesome ride you got
P2: Haha thanks, it's pretty good yeah. You can give it a spin later if you want to. Want to go hit up the restaurant/club (or whatever)? You got those nice connections there...

Whish sounds like a good way to accept praise?

Now I do exaggerate the differences, and no one is going to say the last line of A, but subtle things like body language and tone say what people don't outright. Accepting praise you want to be truthful and accept it, don't lessen yourself or the person giving it, but don't raise yourself up past it like person A did and make someone feel subconcious or bad. Be like yeah I guess I am/just yeah, and boost the persons spirits right back.

basic: be humble and modest, this does not mean dismissing compliments or praise. Try to be on the same level as people, even if that means saying something to lower your illusionary apartness, or raising the person youre talking to up to what you think "your level" is.

 

[intrextrovert]

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