Reprecussions of Forcing Exclusitivity

[jdb]

My fvckup:
1) Asked for for a commitment, even though she told me she wasn't ready
2) Overtly told her that I will be seeing other women
3) Being openly expressive of my feelings via talk and text

Next steps:
1) Become emotionally indifferent toward her
2) Only reply, no outreach on my end
3) Not see her privately, even if she insists, until I have emotionally detached from her

Her:
1) She stayed in a 2 year relationship in the past, even though she checked out 2 month into it. 7 years single and I am her second sex partner.
2) We volunteer for the same organization
3) From her LTR, she developed the mentality that she will never do anything she feels 'forced into doing'
4) 'Lost of trust' in me
5) Canceled dinner 4 hours of accepting and weekend trip we planned "I'm not ready to do stuff with you again at this time. Sorry."
6) Emotional detachment from her the past week, after very high interest

I'm 60% certain she is not manipulating me. Let's say she comes around after I have emotionally detached, from your experience - Is it worth it to continue to progress with her or just be friends?

I had a 2nd date that I canceled on because I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. As you can tell, I'm feeling emotional right now and think she is worth it. Oneitis svcks man, I could really use the support.

 

[cola]

**** her. Women who dig you don't send mix signals. You should go no contact for your own dignity after your colossal miscues. Even if just to punish yourself for acting like the woman in this situationship.

 

[Tictac]

My fvckup:
1) Asked for for a commitment, even though she told me she wasn't ready
2) Overtly told her that I will be seeing other women
3) Being openly expressive of my feelings via talk and text

Next steps:
1) Become emotionally indifferent toward her
2) Only reply, no outreach on my end
3) Not see her privately, even if she insists, until I have emotionally detached from her

Her:
1) She stayed in a 2 year relationship in the past, even though she checked out 2 month into it. 7 years single and I am her second sex partner.
2) We volunteer for the same organization
3) From her LTR, she developed the mentality that she will never do anything she feels 'forced into doing'
4) 'Lost of trust' in me
5) Canceled dinner 4 hours of accepting and weekend trip we planned "I'm not ready to do stuff with you again at this time. Sorry."
6) Emotional detachment from her the past week, after very high interest

I'm 60% certain she is not manipulating me. Let's say she comes around after I have emotionally detached, from your experience - Is it worth it to continue to progress with her or just be friends?

I had a 2nd date that I canceled on because I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. As you can tell, I'm feeling emotional right now and think she is worth it. Oneitis svcks man, I could really use the support.

Stop chasing her! Let her come to you.

 

[jdb]

God I'm going to stuff a Maxi pad up my ass for this shame. Rip me to shreds guys

 

[Tictac]

God I'm going to stuff a Maxi pad up my ass for this shame. Rip me to shreds guys

No hair shirt. If you learned the lesson, it may have been expensive. Just never do it again. There is no reason to ever ask a woman about 'a relationship' or exclusivity.

 

[Lozboss]

The key to getting a woman to pursue you and be the one to initiate exclusivity is:

Competition anxiety.

Don't overtly tell her you're seeing other women. Just dodge any questions she poses about them. The fact you're being evasive will do enough.

Another one is to not 'hide you phone' - if she sees other girls whatsapp/Tinder messages on your lock screen while you're in the bathroom then this is another form of covert.

A great man (Pook) once said: "Women would rather share a high value man than be straddled by a faithful loser"

 

[Vivacity]

My fvckup:
1) Asked for for a commitment, even though she told me she wasn't ready
2) Overtly told her that I will be seeing other women
3) Being openly expressive of my feelings via talk and text

Next steps:
1) Become emotionally indifferent toward her
2) Only reply, no outreach on my end
3) Not see her privately, even if she insists, until I have emotionally detached from her

Her:
1) She stayed in a 2 year relationship in the past, even though she checked out 2 month into it. 7 years single and I am her second sex partner.
2) We volunteer for the same organization
3) From her LTR, she developed the mentality that she will never do anything she feels 'forced into doing'
4) 'Lost of trust' in me
5) Canceled dinner 4 hours of accepting and weekend trip we planned "I'm not ready to do stuff with you again at this time. Sorry."
6) Emotional detachment from her the past week, after very high interest

I'm 60% certain she is not manipulating me. Let's say she comes around after I have emotionally detached, from your experience - Is it worth it to continue to progress with her or just be friends?

I had a 2nd date that I canceled on because I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. As you can tell, I'm feeling emotional right now and think she is worth it. Oneitis svcks man, I could really use the support.

When a man says something, then he goes through with it. If a man does not have the strength to go through with what he says, then he not say it at all.

See other women. That's what you said to her.

 

[jdb]

I then told her I won't be if she felt hurt by it lol

It's hilarious I put myself in this very stupid situation. We'll see how this plays out.

 

[dude99]

Easy way to solve this. Next her. If she checked out of a 2 year relationship after 2 months but still hung in there for another 22 months for no reason???? And still won't comit aftet being single for 7 years and pulls the victim card on you? Dude sounds like a cluster b. If she comes around do not reply.

 

[bigneil]

Ideally, we're supposed to try to hide the other women and she can find out about them by prying.

Occasionally you can tell them about another woman, but this is only if you haven't slept with the first one yet, and you are playing the "since you're such a good friend, I would like your advice about this other girl" card. But you don't take their advice. It's really just an excuse to tell her a story about how other women threw themselves at you. It should be one that makes her wet (hopefully with photos to prove it - photos of the other woman that is).

They have to try to get a commitment from you. They should give you the "I want something more" speech, and cry and blow up your phone if you don't agree. When they do ask for a commitment, remember: their offer is only good for a limited time. Sort of how if you were to ask a girl out, and she said "let me think about it and see if Bradley wants to take me first" you would say no way.

 

[jdb]

No reason to next.

She could have invested in me emotionally too far, too fast and now feels like she should protect herself. She's probably evaluating me if I am the same person she met. We will still be seeing each other at volunteering events, as long as I don't be a little b!tch boy like I was last week and remain congruent to the image she had, I should be able to pull this one off.

 

[Skyline]

Single and only has had two sex partners in 7 years.

I remember a saying that if you were to ask a group of people their sex partner count, women's will always be lower than men's.

At least spin plates... I went through similar head aches in the passed, and all have failed, but at least keep your options open. Putting this girl on the back burner is really the only way you can keep your head straight.

 

[jdb]

I've been debating seeing another chick. I've been so indifferent with my emotions the past few years that I lost compassion for others. That's something I want to change, I told her I wasn't going to see anyone - I'm not breaking that even though it would help tremendously with the headache. Regardless of the outcome, I'm prepared to move forward from there.

I have very few close friends I did share this with, I hate to bother them anymore. Thank you guys for listening and the support

 

[jdb]

Refusing exclusivity, but being upset that I might see other women is her way of saying that she can eat her cake, but have it too. It doesn't work that way. Sure I may have fvcked up on the delivery, but the reasoning remains the same.

She plans to hang out with her girlfriend tomorrow. I'm sure I will be the topic of interest. There ight be a 'power play' after.

 

[wifehunter]

this is a good reminder...

Always say less than necessary.

 

[Trump]

I'm 60% certain she is not manipulating me. Let's say she comes around after I have emotionally detached, from your experience - Is it worth it to continue to progress with her or just be friends?

I had a 2nd date that I canceled on because I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. As you can tell, I'm feeling emotional right now and think she is worth it. Oneitis svcks man, I could really use the support.

Oh bro you way too emotional over this girl. By the time you have "emotionally detached" and want to progress with her, she has already slept with 2 other guys and is pregnant by a 3rd.

When guys say they will act when:

1) they have figured their feelings out
2) they know where they stand with her
3) they can get over their emotions

the girl has already MOVED ON. Your feelings and her decision to move on with her life have nothing to do with each other.

I often think if the people who gave us food to eat, clean water to drink, homes to live in, cars to drive, and planes to ride got emotional and upset over a girl and couldn't focus on their creations, where would we be?

 

[jdb]

Yeah it's done, her text:
"I would like to pick up my jacket at 10am, and also return your stuff. Thanks."

Definitely liberating to say the least.

"I'm out of town, can I just mail it? I don't need my stuff, you can throw it away"

"I would like to pick it up tonight"

"I'll leave it on my front door"

 

[wifehunter]

she has already slept with 2 other guys and is pregnant by a 3rd.

Only if she's a slut, right?

It great how some people can know a person without really knowing them. /verbal irony

 

[jdb]

She picked it up. Case closed, she had substantial evidence that my character was not the same that she was attracted to initially.

Sentence:
Know that you lost a good one ; for life
(FAR WORSE) - 30 Days in the SoSuave Pen for violation of BASIC human conduct

Probation Considerations:
- Never ever do that retarted sh!t again
- One-itus is a disease
- Do stop believing

No lie, I had a date before this to help. I denied it. I fee

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Not to point out that you technically had miscues...

...But where in your character did you let her down? I might need to Reread your OP.

In my honest opinion...beta "mistakes" are kinda equivalent to women Sh!t test. Sometimes I actually believe throwing out a soft beta move to see a reaction is very very smart.

I know this board is all about profound fantasy rules, but we have to also understand that we can't have rules at our convience. Take for example...to me asking for exclusivity is not a sure fire OMG death note for her to just fall all the way back (if y'all have dated a while, had good sex, etc). Asking for exclusivity + other AFC things + secretly low interest ....is. If you and her were on a high AND THIS CHICK WAS REALLY INTO YOU - that's not a "I want my things" offense. And it's also not poor character. That's a hold it par let me put back on my tight skirt as I might need a ladies night to access the damages and scout the draft offense.

That goes for texting her your feelings and especially telling her you're seeing other women if you are not committed. Doing these things in a weak position is the miscue...but there is something to be said about the Halo Effect you receive when a broad is really into.

To me...where you REALLY messed up is your actions after the fact of asking for exclusivity and or telling her your feelings. I really didn't dive too far into the post, but after she denied you did you say something in the context of "Okay then fine...I'm gonna date other women!" ?If so, that's your real blunder.

If that's the case...you were attempting to raise emotions in her (which is good), but it came from a weak ass spot and not an emotion of her being mad you would see other women. That's the ultimate AFC move if there is one...might as well have cried..Id ask for my stuff back too!

Something just tells me tho that chick was checking out before any of this. Another guy, wack sex, realized u were faking the funk ...before any of this. Just thoughts so I ain't tryna kick you while you are down, just giving the honest opinion.