Reporting back from behind enemy lines...

[iqqi]

Not all girls want to be pressured into having sex. Believe it or not, some women require getting to know a man before spreading her legs, and if it is revealed within three dates that spreading the legs is more important than getting to know her, she might be hurt, but that is what she is trying to avoid in the first place.

OP, I get the feeling that you know this. And that you don't WANT to pressure her into sex. Like this forum is pressuring YOU to do. I think that is a sign of a true DJ, a man who wants the woman to WANT to have sex with him, and isn't so hung up on some timeframe that it happens.

In regards to your original question. I think you are doing great so far because with strong women it is important not to be percieved as a doormat, while being respectful to her boundaries. You are putting your foot down when she gets too controlling, and I'd advise you to "be like water" with her hesitancy for intimacy. With chicks like this, they will come on to you if you step back and let it flow. I say get to know her, turn up the charm, and don't mess up by acting clingy or needy. I've seen signs you got that down.

Keep it up.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Not all girls want to be pressured into having sex. Believe it or not, some women require getting to know a man before spreading her legs, and if it is revealed within three dates that spreading the legs is more important than getting to know her, she might be hurt, but that is what she is trying to avoid in the first place.

OP, I get the feeling that you know this. And that you don't WANT to pressure her into sex. Like this forum is pressuring YOU to do. I think that is a sign of a true DJ, a man who wants the woman to WANT to have sex with him, and isn't so hung up on some timeframe that it happens.

Oh shut up already. "A true DJ". Stop using that word like it's God's middle name. If a woman is horny she'll always want to have sex. If the situation is uncomfortable she would have flat out said no or showed resistance. Instead she had slight mercy on the guy saying his moves were "rigid".

well the exact quote was: called me out for having my "moves" be too rigid and not fluid enough.

Then he blames her for her not being easy to read?? If you're having a passionate kiss there's nothing to read. You shouldn't be concentrating on reading ANYTHING. Put whatever it is that you're reading down and ENJOY the kiss. DON'T LOOK OVER HER FACE AND STARE AT HER ZACK EFFRON POSTERS!! CLOSE YOUR EYES AND TAKE HER LIPS IN. She might have sensed that maybe you were nervous or was trying to rush the moment? If a girl thinks you're a good kisser she's not going to have any complaints. It definitely won't take her out of the mood either.

I'm also in the camp who agrees that she might have wanted to sleep with you that night she asked if you were staying over. Out of all the encounters I had with sleeping in the same bed with a girl, friend or not, I know for them it's GAME OVER. If a girl invites me to just COZY up with her, she might not have sex as her main agenda, but something is certainly there. There's no last minute resistance. She's a car in the morning just waiting to be warmed up.

I know this next line of advice comes from a one-cell critter, (I'm not so good at writing really profound advice)but if you f*ck her good enough to the point where she thinks about you and her doing it most of the day then you shouldn't have any problems with readjusting the frame.

If a girl doesn't want to screw then she won't. She only has herself to blame if she does. If she has sex with someone who she won't respect later because he "pushed" her into it then she a moron who's only good enough for that ONE screw.

You haven't done something THAT stupid, have you Iqqi?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

*edit*

 

[New2Town]

What if you were one of us, sitting in front of a monitor, giving advices to yourself through SoSuave? What would you tell yourself to do?

I have been doing what I have told myself to do; which is leading a busy life (which I do), spin other plates and not worry about her and not text back until she does, if then, I give it a while and then call her. After our last conversation together at her place, I have a better read on her, so I think I know how to proceed, but I still have never dealt with a woman like this.

well the exact quote was: called me out for having my "moves" be too rigid and not fluid enough.

Then he blames her for her not being easy to read?? If you're having a passionate kiss there's nothing to read. You shouldn't be concentrating on reading ANYTHING. Put whatever it is that you're reading down and ENJOY the kiss. DON'T LOOK OVER HER FACE AND STARE AT HER ZACK EFFRON POSTERS!! CLOSE YOUR EYES AND TAKE HER LIPS IN. She might have sensed that maybe you were nervous or was trying to rush the moment? If a girl thinks you're a good kisser she's not going to have any complaints. It definitely won't take her out of the mood either.

I'm also in the camp who agrees that she might have wanted to sleep with you that night she asked if you were staying over. Out of all the encounters I had with sleeping in the same bed with a girl, friend or not, I know for them it's GAME OVER. If a girl invites me to just COZY up with her, she might not have sex as her main agenda, but something is certainly there. There's no last minute resistance. She's a car in the morning just waiting to be warmed up.

I didn't say I don't get a read is WHILE kissing her. I can't get a read elsewhere.

While we kissed, of course I took her lips in, enjoyed the kiss and focused on what it happening. Her lack of Zack Effron posters may be a deal breaker, but during the kiss, I am completely focused on her.

I, in part, maybe was trying to rush the moment because this has never happened to me. I got up to the line of scrimmage and this girl Peyton Manning'd me from the beginning. I am trying to figure out the best defense to counter this offense and I hoping to get a "Pick Six."

It's only a matter of time before I get a complete read on her and take it to the house. She's only flinched once and that's when I called her out on her behavior.

Also, I could tell I wouldn't have ended up in her bed anyway. I hardly was able to advance sexual tension, or just enough to have her wanting one more kiss. After she asked me if I was staying or going, she sat on the couch and said these cushions pull out to make a nice bed. I said, "Are you serious." When he answered, I told her I was going to sleep in my bed at home, rather than sleep on her couch.

 

[In2theGame]

Why would you assume that you were staying on the couch? I would never assume such a thing. To me, that is an invitation to sleep with her. I would have accepted the invitation. Depending on how rigid she was, I might not have escalated to full blown sex but I would have used the opportunity to build more sexual rapport with her.

ps. don't believe I'm such a nice guy, I would try to escalate and bang her, although I might do it more subtely than normal given the situation which you've described.

pss If I was tried to put on the couch, I would have left and nexted her as its sign of a looney women who's off her rocker. This ain't 1950 anymore.

edit: other than the above, I think you handled the situation and recovered quite nicely. You seem to be on the right track and I think you got the right mentality to handle this women.

I Have to agree with MacAvoy on this one and he has the right idea. We all understand that you dont want to be the sucker laying on the couch but she was, in a wierd and twisted way, inviting you to stay and maybe build that sexual tension. For example, lets say she goes to bed, you lay in the couch,.. while shes laying down in the bed, more than likely she will keep thinking "Theres a cute guy laying in my couch" and then eventually come up with some lame excuse to come "talk" to you in the middle of the night because she "cant sleep" and you could then boomerrang her BS with some smooth Negs and “sweet” talk. In my honest opinion, if you played your hand right that night, you would of banged her. Not saying you suck or anything because we all miss our opening sometimes but I really do think you had the chance. However, if shes the type that thinks she can run things her way then you played it right also. If all came to worse and you didn’t feel comfy there in the middle of the night then you could of picked up your things and left without a word and then when she wakes up, your no where to be found. Your excuse would be, your back felt uncomfy laying on the couch and you left, plus you could of NEG’d in this situation also by saying “Next time I get to lay in the bed too, and you can either lay by me or on top of me, choice is yours” From what you described of this women, she seems like the “I get what I want type” I for one love to bang these types of women because it just makes u want to hit it HARD!!!! And F** that BS out of her lol. Which reminds me, a while back I banged a chick who thought she was a F**kin HB50 and had the most stuck up attitude on the face of the earth. I ended up hitting it and hitting it hard!! Pulled her hair and everythin, after that she was calling me all the time, asking “Hey, wanna hang out?” :Sigh: Women…………

 

[MacAvoy]

IntheGame,

You just reminded me of a story. There was this girl that I meant online, there was some flirting, we went out once to the bar, had a decent time but no real sexual chemistry. I didn't get the opportunity to kino, she controlled the environment.

She then invited me to a small NYE get together. Well I got there and turns out she was ill. She didn't end up drinking, I had a few but didn't get drunk to be polite. Well I obviously had to spend the night, she slept on the couch and made me a bed on the floor right beside the couch.

At one point, she was in the washroom getting sick. I felt sorry for her, so I put my arm on her from the floor to comfort her. She really enjoyed that, next thing you know I was holding her in my arms comforting her. Not long after that I made love to her.

We went out on I think one more date after that but she made it clear that, there wasn't really sexual chemistry there, that it was a one time thing. I was totally fine with that.

But my point is, she wasn't feeling me that night, or on any of the nights that we were together really. But the fact is we still got it on. I also wouldn't classify her as easy, trust me, I've had more than my fair share of easy chicks.

So never underestimate a women's desire to be held and share a passionate moment of sex. They enjoy it just as much as us, they crave it as well, they just aren't as easy or as open to give it up as we are. That doesn't mean that they don't want it.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Macky, I gotta agree with you. Sometimes this spontaneous moment of sexual desire will come out of nowhere with a girl.

I remember a couple of women that I was with throughout the night. One was a friend from work and another was a girl I met at a party a couple of times.

The party girl I drank with her and her friend the whole night. I thought something might have been there but I didn't know. I didn't bring anything up having to do with US. I was fine. Natural. I enjoyed her company. NOTHING WAS AWKWARD. We didn't flirt that much the whole night, but I still sensed something so I stuck around. No kino. No innuendos. Nothing. I walk her home and hug her goodbye and she mugs my face with her mouth. We end up having sex a few moments later.

The former co worker and I just had a nice late night dinner at Denny's. A bit of flirting, but mostly just talking about work and friends and whatnot. NO MENTION OF ME AND HER DOING ANYTHING. I walk her to her do and AGAIN a girl attacks me with her mouth. Out of nowhere. The next day we went out dancing and we had sex.

The point is if you make anything too obvious it puts the girl in an uneasy state. It kills the tension she may be having for you, even if you don't think it's there. I wouldn't have said anything about her being too hard to read. You should have acted like nothing was wrong and lead the direction of the date. That's confidence.

 

[New2Town]

Anyway, last night I was talking to one of my other plates when I heard a beeping from a text.

After I hung up the phone, I noticed it was from Ms. Strong Personality, asking if I was still up, at 2:35 a.m. Now, I can almost assure you it wasn't a booty call because there's no way in hell I would drive 35 minutes to see her when I have to work at 7 a.m.

I debated on texting back, thinking that it could be a sh!t test, but then I got a call from one of my friends. We spoke for a bit and he told me some tough news, so I signed onto a messenger to clear my head. No one was on, but she was, so I dropped her a quick IM, nothing really important, just saying I got her text and I'll talk to her later.

I signed off soon after and went to sleep. Part of me didn't want to respond to the text because it could be a sh!t test and I don't want her to think she has control to wake me up in the middle of the night.

My friend thought I was overreacting, but anyway. My plan is to get back to her today, if I have time, saying I saw she texted last night and wondering what was up. I am going to schedule a date for Wednesday night and we'll see what happens.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Alright, you PMed me for my take on this so lets get some basics down first.

First off, how old are you? Put an age on your profile or I'll be forced to put this thread into the Discussions forum and I'm sure no one participating up to this point wants that.

Now, down to business,..

How do you handle women with a strong personality?

From catching up with this thread I can tell you right now you're not dealing with a woman who's got a "strong personality". This is her 'tuff broad' act. It's almost a b!tch shield, but based on her security needs and an inability to find absolute certainty that anyone but herself could provide it. This is precisely why she's OVERTLY determined to establish frame. Remember, women's native language is to be subtle and COVERT - they only resort to being blunt and OVERT when this fails them. When the importance of the message they're trying to communicate supersedes a woman's default, covert communication form, rest assured, she wants there to be no mistake in your understanding it. In this case she is screaming "I'm never going to feel secure in an LTR unless I'm the primary!!!"

I recently began dating this 25-year-old chick I met off Match.com and from the beginning I could tell it was going to be a tough shell to crack. She wouldn't give out her number since she said there are far too many psychos who do online dating, so I played into that by saying I have always wanted to be abducted and taped to a bed.

Strike One. Online dating is a Buffer. So is your constant reliance on IM's, emails, and phone calls. There is NO substitute for direct, face-to-face, interpersonal communication. That's not to say it's not convenient or you have to be some ludite in the age of technology, but it is to say that the way you've been using it is contributing to your condition. In this instance it works both ways - you're both Buffering against rejection and she sees it as a convenience in her vetting process of finding a guy willing to enable her insecurity. If she were so concerned with online dating psychos why participate at all? Because even that is easier for her than direct communication.

I went in for the kiss, obviously, got something, but she was like "YOU DON'T KNOW ME." Which I have to agree, I didn't really know her yet.

Strike Two. This was the first example of her need to control and your first example of acquiescing to it in doubting your confidence and resolve.

We went outside to talk for a bit and then it came out. She said she's scared away tons of guys because of her strong personality and eventually called me out for having my "moves" be too rigid and not fluid enough.

Translation: "I haven't generally been able to get any guys to play to my insecurities and give me the frame from the outset. You might do if you play to my frame and in the manner that would make me most comfortable"

She said that is a folly of hers, but continues to tell me about her past.

And what past might that be? As far as I can tell you haven't elaborated on this yet in this thread. I'd be willing to venture a guess that she's been abused, raped, Daddy bailed on her,..etc.

Turns out she wants a relationship, or PDA for that matter to be 70/30. 70 percent her/30 percent him.

Strike Three. Overtly declaring a need for frame control and in a specified quantity. You'd do better looking for a "quality" girl in a mental hospice at this stage.

Near the end of the night, after she brushed her teeth and stuff, she said are you staying her or going home. I told her, "If I am staying on this couch, I have my own bed waiting for me, so I would leave if that's the case." She wavered for a bit saying I was playing mind games, but then I flat out told her that I was driving home and everything.

WFT? How the ƒuck are you at a point where she's brushing her teeth and doing all this preparation for bed stuff(and I mean sleeping)?!! This is high school sh!t, not what an adult does. I've been married for 12 years and I've seen my wife brush her teeth thousands of times. Never in my single or married life has this been a precursor for sex. You say this confused you, but you're already past the attraction stage at this point and moved into comfortable rapport. You never should've been in this situation; she should be brushing her teeth and putting on her jammies AFTER you've towled off from ƒucking her for the past 2 hours. That's what's confusing you.

On the drive home, I really began to think that this chick has taken hold of the frame in this relationship and I am trying to pull it back.

From the outset you've been negotiating her desire and seeing very little in the way of any real reciprocation intimacy. She's already comfortable with you and is hoping you'll relent so she can ration out any intimacy she's comfortable giving YOU - not other guys she may meet, you in particular. You'll do, but only if you play up to her. How many more red flags do you need? The house is on fire brother, time to get out. You need to generate real options and stop it with this single, solitary woman.

Honestly, where do you realistically see this going? LTR? Are you now getting why the other guys she told you about bailed on her? Even idealistically, what's the best outcome you could expect from this woman? Do you think the sex she finally, begrudgingly, puts out will have been worth the months of litigation and qualifying negotiation you'll have to do? Are you so sex deprived and optionless that this would make it worth it?

NEXT.

 

[New2Town]

I am 24, Rollo. Don't worry.

 

[sodbuster]

Woman code on the net. Few extra pounds[for a water buffalo],about average[for a water buffalo],independant or strong willed[I'm a ***** you'll have to fight every day of your life,but I warned you, so it's your fault] or my favorite-successful real estate investor[I hope you have money to bail my ass out of this mess]

 

[jdjd]

hi everyone, new to the board here...

VU, or if anyone else can answer this question...

It has been my experience that MOST women that I have encountered who "played" hard to get, ULTIMATELY turned out to instead be-----HARD TO "WANT".

anyone care to explain HARD TO WANT? for me?

sorry im new and just started to read this thread

pretty interesting stuff here

 

[New2Town]

Just to update the situation...

I went out with Ms. Strong Personality last Thursday. We went to the pool to hang out and play basketball, then to dinner and a movie.

Part of me really didn't care what happened with this date because I am slowly becoming fed up with her lack of affection. Relationships, if you want to call it that, are built off physical, emotional and sexual chemistry.

During dinner, she showed a bunch of affection, simply because I had a lot of social proof in the bar we went to. I had several people come up to me and start talking and she rested her hand on my leg and really moved closer.

After dinner, we went to the outlets to shop a bit, actually to Victoria's Secret. She picked through underwear and such and asked if it bothered me or made me uncomfortable. I told her "No, and it was actually pretty fun," and even I picked out a pair for her.

We went back to my apartment and chilled out the couch, watching TV before the movie. I tried to make a move, but she withheld from it. I still kissed, but it felt awkward. She even said something about it.

When we were walking to the movie, she draped her arms around me and then we kissed. She said "See, that felt natural." I told her, "Yeah, it's pretty easy when you show some affection." She playfully hit me and continued draping over me.

The movie was good and we went back to my place. I tried to come up with an excuse to prolong the evening, but she had work early and we split.

I haven't contacted her since a few days ago, when I asked what she was doing a few days ago. I am going to try to set up a date for tomorrow night and just not care what happens.

It seems whenever I make an effort, it's "awkward" or whatever. We'll see how it plays out. If I don't get any more than a kiss this date, I am going to add another plate to my list and move her to the back.

 

[In2theGame]

Just to update the situation...

I went out with Ms. Strong Personality last Thursday. We went to the pool to hang out and play basketball, then to dinner and a movie.

Part of me really didn't care what happened with this date because I am slowly becoming fed up with her lack of affection. Relationships, if you want to call it that, are built off physical, emotional and sexual chemistry.

During dinner, she showed a bunch of affection, simply because I had a lot of social proof in the bar we went to. I had several people come up to me and start talking and she rested her hand on my leg and really moved closer.

After dinner, we went to the outlets to shop a bit, actually to Victoria's Secret. She picked through underwear and such and asked if it bothered me or made me uncomfortable. I told her "No, and it was actually pretty fun," and even I picked out a pair for her.

We went back to my apartment and chilled out the couch, watching TV before the movie. I tried to make a move, but she withheld from it. I still kissed, but it felt awkward. She even said something about it.

When we were walking to the movie, she draped her arms around me and then we kissed. She said "See, that felt natural." I told her, "Yeah, it's pretty easy when you show some affection." She playfully hit me and continued draping over me.

The movie was good and we went back to my place. I tried to come up with an excuse to prolong the evening, but she had work early and we split.

I haven't contacted her since a few days ago, when I asked what she was doing a few days ago. I am going to try to set up a date for tomorrow night and just not care what happens.

It seems whenever I make an effort, it's "awkward" or whatever. We'll see how it plays out. If I don't get any more than a kiss this date, I am going to add another plate to my list and move her to the back.

Not bad, Not bad but i see whats going on here. She wants to do things on her terms and the way she wants. The part about her saying "it felt natural" was a WIDE!! opening for you to hit her with a left, right and knockout Meaning you could have played it several ways in your favor.

Her: See that felt Natural
You: playfully smack her ass and say "That felt Natural too" and laugh.

or

Her:See that felt Natural
You: You know what else feels Natural? ::Grab Her by her waist like a true Man ::: and make out with her again while slowly putting ur hands on her ass.

or

Her: See that feels Natural
You: Nah, that was Ok. Let me show you what Natural is. with a smerk.

Man, The way your describing this girl is that shes a c0ck tease, but is looking to get gamed hard. I actually think this girl might be awesome in bed from the way yours decribing her. She's waiting for you to game her real good and then bang her pvzzy into OBLIVION!. Dude dont be the guy shes talking to,, be THE! Man shes talking to and hopefully F'ing too. COme on your almost home. and when you get there, hit it hard, hit it good and hit long. think of all the little stupid head games she's been doing and pull her hair and show her not to F around with you. You do that and you wil be begging her to leave you alone lol. Be the Alpha Male.

 

[New2Town]

In2TheGame,

I completely agree with what you said. At the end of the date, before we split our own ways, we hugged a few times. I reached down and grabbed her a$$ during a hug. She said "Do you think you're cool enough to grab my a$$?" I said right back to her, "Yup, and if I'm not, I can sure play it off well." She gave me a sly smile and pushed me off, playfully hitting me.

I've been gaming her so far, naturally as well as stuff I have been finding in the field. Seems like I am breaking her outer shell, but otherwise, what seems to work well is when I am not doing anything and just there. Like I said, the next date, I am going to do nothing but relax and let it happen.

Believe me. When it happens, I will go relentlessly on it.

 

[In2theGame]

In2TheGame,

I completely agree with what you said. At the end of the date, before we split our own ways, we hugged a few times. I reached down and grabbed her a$$ during a hug. She said "Do you think you're cool enough to grab my a$$?" I said right back to her, "Yup, and if I'm not, I can sure play it off well." She gave me a sly smile and pushed me off, playfully hitting me.

I've been gaming her so far, naturally as well as stuff I have been finding in the field. Seems like I am breaking her outer shell, but otherwise, what seems to work well is when I am not doing anything and just there. Like I said, the next date, I am going to do nothing but relax and let it happen.

Believe me. When it happens, I will go relentlessly on it.

Oh Boy you had another wide opening New2Town lol an even bigger one than you think. You grabbed her ass and she says "Do you think you're cool enough to grab my a$$?" That would have been the sexual buildup if you turned the right cards.

Her: Do you think you're cool enough to grab my a$$?
You: :::Lean in towards her lips, look her in the eyes::: just shut up already with a smile and kiss her again grabbing her ass once more.

im 10000% sure! she would of liked that becuase your taking playful control of the situation by telling her to shut up and your gazing in her eyes as if to say, im gonna F! you.

You can flip it around on her when the time comes to F her. She she grabs your c0ck, say "you think your cool enough to grab my c0ck?" with a smile. lol Damn man this girl sounds like a good F around. Come on New2Town, im pullin for you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous, chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to ƒuck you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck you like a porn star and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife/GF comes home early from work - women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck. The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first or "just isn't comfortable with you yet" is the same girl who ƒucked the "totally hot guy" in the foam cannon party in Cancun with her girlfriends on spring break half an hour after meeting him.

If a girl is that into you she'll ƒuck regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sexual, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh. You cannot negotiate genuine desire.


If you've been waiting around this long without a any real reciprocation of intimacy on her part you need to evaluate your own priorities. Everything you've described so far is emblematic of a Sniper Mentality. You're waiting around for that one perfect shot, trying to qualify yourself as boyfriend material, but there really is no real attraction on her part. Her behaviors tell you everything you need to know. You're a surrogate boyfriend now - all the benefits and emotional comfort of a good listening, stable BF with no expectation of any real intimacy on her part. All she needs now (assuming she hasn't already got it) is a Bad Boy to bang her like a $2 hooker so she can complain about him to you for a couple of hours before she goes back for more.

Either way you're valueless to her. Your attentions, your sympathies, are too easily gotten. NEXT.

 

[New2Town]

I don't think I made it clear enough through my posts with this chick. Let me break it down...

I am not looking for a relationship with this woman. I have been steadily dating one woman since December and spinning other plates during that time. My success rate with Match.com, for lays, is 6 out of 8.

From the beginning, I just wanted to get with this chick and turn her into a fvck buddy. I feel no emotional attachment to this chick now, but it's just a feeling of I have to conquer this one.

I have tried to close from Day 1, as you have read earlier in this thread. I am definitely not looking for a relationship with this woman, rather, I just want to pound the personality out of her.

I texted her today, since she was at work, seeing what she was doing tomorrow. When she said she had other plans with a friend, but would get back to me, since her plans usually fall through, I didn't text back. I didn't feel a need.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

In my brief experience with online stuff, most of these girls are looking for long term relationships rather than casual sex. They buy into the advertising about finding their "soulmate" and all that crap. Some guys probably join for that reason too, but others are just there to expand their dating horizons to include more women.

How old is this girl's profile? You can just assume she's already gone out with other men on the site and had sex with them, only to end up with nothing else to show for it. She is making you wait for intimacy as a defense mechanism to try and weed out the guys that just want to bang her from the guys who are into her for more than that. The problem here is that women underestimate some men's patience and ability to wait. I don't think this will be very effective in keeping her from getting hurt, but it will reduce the number of men she has sex with overall, so she'll feel less like a slut.

Summary: If you think it's worth waiting for, you'll lay this girl eventually, soon even.

 

[jdjd]

In my brief experience with online stuff, most of these girls are looking for long term relationships rather than casual sex. They buy into the advertising about finding their "soulmate" and all that crap. Some guys probably join for that reason too, but others are just there to expand their dating horizons to include more women.

How old is this girl's profile? You can just assume she's already gone out with other men on the site and had sex with them, only to end up with nothing else to show for it. She is making you wait for intimacy as a defense mechanism to try and weed out the guys that just want to bang her from the guys who are into her for more than that. The problem here is that women underestimate some men's patience and ability to wait. I don't think this will be very effective in keeping her from getting hurt, but it will reduce the number of men she has sex with overall, so she'll feel less like a slut.

Summary: If you think it's worth waiting for, you'll lay this girl eventually, soon even.

i like your summary! well said!