Reply for "Will you buy me a drink?"

[beforeimgone]

If you're at a bar and a girl asks you this, what is a good reply?

"Sure, What are you getting me? I like vodka"

 

[RichardTheFrog]

"Yea. If you f uck me."

 

[190cmofcancer]

id smash chick face if she told me to buy her a drink

 

[Wrenched]

I always like using the "I didn't hear you approach with a touch of sarcasm"

Id say "You'd like to buy me a drink? Sure!"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you're at a bar and a girl asks you this, what is a good reply?

Well...maybe. Why don't you go pick us out a nice quiet table in the corner and I'll get us some drinks.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Look her up and down and say "I don't think so".

This is how to handle that test. As I always say, never try to "pass" tests. Handle them.

 

[redskinsfan92]

"Will you suck my c***?"

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

The classic response is "Are you hotter than your friends?"

Immediately begin creating separation between her and her group, nevermind the drink.

 

[SW15]

I turned 21 in 2004 and went to bars plenty of times over the years until COVID hit in March 2020. Randomly, at a bar, I recall very few instances of this happening over the years. If it happened, it happened no more than 2 times. The number of drinks that I have purchased for women that I randomly met while at bars over the years is nearly 0.

I sense that buying drinks for women at bars is the kind of thing that was more common from the 1980s-early 2000s. I think it was dying out by 2004 when I started. I could be wrong though. Maybe I didn't go to the right kinds of bars. I went to some fashionable bars within 2 metros in the Top 15 in population in the United States.

The unfortunate part is that drink buying didn't cease. Due to the fact that I used dating apps and dating websites pre-2012, I ended up purchasing a lot of drinks for women on dates that came about from websites or apps. Most of the time, that was a complete waste.

marmel75's "No but you can buy me one if you'd like" is the ideal standard response.

There are a few funny and attitude filled responses here that could be useful, but the line above should be used if you can't recall one of those lines.

 

[Blacksheep]

"First make me ***, then I make you drunk."

 

[2Rocky]

Honest...Never had a girl ask me to buy her a drink....I've had women buy me a drink before. I've paid the tab when we have had drinks together. Don't worry...I can afford it.

Basically from an etiquette perspective, its purpose is to is to get the receiver's' exclusive attention for the duration of the drink. If you are not going to give the person your attention you should refuse the drink. Just like a sales rep taking you to lunch. You gotta listen to the sales pitch.

 

[Mike32ct]

I turned 21 in 2004 and went to bars plenty of times over the years until COVID hit in March 2020. Randomly, at a bar, I recall very few instances of this happening over the years. If it happened, it happened no more than 2 times. The number of drinks that I have purchased for women that I randomly met while at bars over the years is nearly 0.

I sense that buying drinks for women at bars is the kind of thing that was more common from the 1980s-early 2000s. I think it was dying out by 2004 when I started. I could be wrong though. Maybe I didn't go to the right kinds of bars. I went to some fashionable bars within 2 metros in the Top 15 in population in the United States.

Agree completely. I don't think random women asking guys to buy them drinks at bars/clubs is still a thing in 2020.

Even in early 2000s, I don't think I was ever approached and asked to buy her a drink. If you started talking to a chick, it was understood that YOU might offer to buy her one while you are getting another for yourself. But that was later in the conversation, not initially.

A random guy cold approaching with, "Hi can I buy you a drink?" (in 2020) would seem really outdated and scream "old guy." My buddy did this in 2019, and I cringed (enough) for all three of us lol.

 

[SW15]

Agree completely. I don't think random women asking guys to buy them drinks at bars/clubs is still a thing in 2020.

Since COVID has really devastated bar pickup in 2020, I suggest throwing events in 2020 out of the equation. In 2010-2019, this wasn't happening too much.

Even in early 2000s, I don't think I was ever approached and asked to buy her a drink. If you started talking to a chick, it was understood that YOU might offer to buy her one while you are getting another for yourself. But that was later in the conversation, not initially.

After a few minutes of conversation in a bar, a woman might hint to some degree that she expects a man to buy a drink. It is also possible that a man after a few minutes of conversation might buy a woman a drink to keep the conversation going. From 2010 onwards, I don't think men were doing this much. Men over 30 might do it a little bit more. In 2010 and later, women got more of their free drinks at bars from dates sourced by swipe apps (starting in like 2012-13) or dating websites (the very early 2010s).

In the 1990s, an unattached woman age 21-34 going out to a bar could reasonably expect to be approached and receive numerous offers for free drinks. In the 2010s, the same 21-34 year old woman would get approached. It would be the case that the approaches were less frequent because her attention was in her smartphone more. She might even be right swiping while at the bar. Even in the approaches 2010s woman gets, she would likely get offered free drinks less.

A random guy cold approaching with, "Hi can I buy you a drink?" (in 2020) would seem really outdated and scream "old guy." My buddy did this in 2019, and I cringed (enough) for all three of us lol.

I can't imagine this happening in 2019.

Even older people (50+ in the last 5 years) are not doing as much in-person pickup. In the second half of the 2010s, younger people moved a lot of interactions to swipe apps. The 50+ singles set was doing a lot of interacting on websites like Match and OurTime.

Even in the heyday of bars being the hub of social activity for singles trying to meet new people outside their social circle (1970s-1990s), the whole bar scene thing was considered a royal pain. Dating websites were invented in the 1990s (Match.com launched in 1995) to serve as an alternative to the odiousness of the bars. However, websites and later apps became an even more difficult means of meeting and forming new relationships than the bar scene.

Bars evolved after the early to mid-2000s due to the rise of websites and apps. Lots of people starting doing early stage dates on weeknights at bars with websites and apps. In one's 20s, doing a first date on a Fri/Sat night is often considered a sign a weakness and a lack of a busy schedule. After age 30, a lot of singles are willing to do these app sourced first dates at bars on prime nights because their social circles are mostly coupled off people who are unavailable on prime nights.

Times change and ways of approaching change. Some underlying principles remain constant.

 

[Xanderson]

Tap water for everyone !

 

[7onriverI f]

If a girl asks me to buy her a drink I will buy her one. And then just walk off on her and go dance by myself. If she's just after a drink I'm fine with that. If she wants more she will come find me. She won't be any better off trying this stuff on I will be. She might think I'm a sucker for doing so but I just get richer and she becomes poorer for doing it. Had a guy try this on with me the other night giving to him and a tranny. he said he would buy me a drink, didn't go through with his word asked if I would buy him and his tranny friend a drink I did. they then wanted to get rid of me it seems and i think the guy felt a bit bad about the whole ordeal but the tranny didn't give a ****. so i left. Later he comes and talks to me again asking what i do for living. and i found out his tranny friend bounced on him. She or he or whatever you wanna call it will always have financial troubles treating people like that and will wonder why they don't get much. The guy might as well. I then had people come up to me and say as a opener hey let me buy you a drink. that's how things work giving and receiving. saying thankyou is also something you should say when receiving anything. those two who were looking for free drinks didn't even say thankyou and i also had another girl the other night who didn't say it either who asked me to buy her a drink. However some homeless people at least say thank-you when you give to them. Just that act from them puts them in a upward spiral. Gratitude is huge.

 

[RickTheToad]

What's worked for me in the past was the follow. Bar keep, I'll buy her, (ask what she wants), and she'll buy me a (whatever you like). There for, you're equal. If she walks away, then you're out nothing. If she says, then she's not wasting your time.

 

[SW15]

Great post. Really lays out how the dating market and landscape has changed over the decades.

What are your thoughts on the dating market post-Covid? Swipe apps still king?

Thanks for recognizing a great post.

I'm still formulating how I see the market post-COVID. The following is my best guess

For ~7 months, there has been a constipation of the mating marketplace. With massive restrictions such as closures/lockdowns, masks in common indoor spaces for approaching (making approaching more difficult), no mass gatherings, no bars, and physical distancing even outdoors, there has not been a healthy environment in place for developing new relationships.

Since the constipated market needs a laxative, the laxative will come in the form of reduced masking, reduced social distancing, and mass gatherings of some kind. The bars need to open. People need to feel comfortable even within less than 6 feet apart outside.

I do not expect the laxative to arrive for nearly a year. When it is said and done, men will have experienced 12-18 months of a prison lite experience. Women will have experienced this to a lesser degree as well, but the impact on men will have been far worse.

When the laxative comes, there will be a brief moment of massive pent up sexual energy from both sexes being expressed. Both sexes who have been single during the pandemic will be glad to be out of jail for the first time in a long while. I only expect this brief moment to last 2-3 months. Women might even be a little better behaved than they were in the 2nd half of the 2010s during this time.

Swipe apps are king by default and I don't see that changing post-pandemic. Most men don't have the guts to cold approach. Most men have weak social circles for a variety of reasons, some of which are not their fault in many circumstances. Most men, due to these factors and in conjunction with the trend of lower testosterone levels, will continue to swipe away even though it is not in their best interests to swipe away. Swipe apps are designed for the top 10% of men to get more sex and not commit. Why would a guy in the top 10% ever commit if he's getting good sexual quantity flow? There isn't much of a reason to do it. While some guys outside the Top 10% are dropping out of the swipe app game, too few are doing so, and a lot of guys are on swipe apps, either not getting dates or getting too many first dates not resulting in either sex or a second date/extended relationship. I don't expect any of this to change in the medium term (2022-2027).

The men who will be best served post COVID are the men who stay in good shape during the pandemic and do not develop additional lifestyle related unhealthy habits. They eat clean, they don't use porn, they don't mbate, and they find their dates through ONLY whatever in-person means are available. These men will have the best testosterone levels and will have raging bull energy.

As a personal anecdote, I've gotten more aggressive on my approaching since ditching porn, masturbation, and eating clean. I put those items into practice a few years ago. It is ideal to avoid processed foods and any foods with any soy derivative ingredients in them. When you do these things, it completely changes your outlook on life.

 

[SW15]

I have always been able to find a steady flow of poon from swipe apps, so online has always worked well for me. Unfortunate side effect is it makes me lazy to do cold approach.

I have had mostly bad experiences on swipe apps. I have no major issues getting dates on swipe apps. However, I have had issues getting something meaningful out of swipe apps. My experience on swipe apps has been too many dates where there was no sex, no future in-person interactions, and a disappearance of money from my wallet in the form of buying drinks. I'm not cool with that. I'm not on apps due to that.

Both men and women can source more dates on swipe apps than they can in real life. For women, knowing how massive their swipe queues are, they are extremely fussy. Their standards are absurdly high.

I'm more focused on obtaining high quality dates from meeting people in real life that have a lower failure rate. I'd rather go on fewer dates. I went to an outdoor fitness class tonight and approached.

Men today are getting hosed buying drinks on these swipe app dates, more so than guys in bars in 1993 looking to meet women.

Post-Covid, and particularly in the past few months, I have seen a massive reduction of available and interested females on online swipe apps. The females that I do connect with are almost all aloof and non-committal/indifferent to meet ups. They mostly appear to want to collect online orbiters. I can still get meet-ups and bangs semi-regularly, but the difference in effort I have to exert now as opposed to 7 months ago is truly shocking. I have also had to drop my standards and bang women that I usually wouldn't look twice at.

Some might be fearing getting COVID. If they are fearing getting COVID, they should retreat into their prison lite experience and not waste time. However, there is a high probability that they are into getting the validation.

Getting bangs in this environment is an accomplishment. How are you getting the bang now, with the mass fear of COVID? There is a lot of fear out there about getting COVID. Sex might be an easier way to get COVID.

My only theory is that supply and demand has become grossly imbalanced online recently. A large number of women appear to have exited the dating market, while simultaneously a huge number of men have entered the dating market and it has apparently pushed thirst levels through the roof.

I can buy the idea that it is getting worse. Thirst levels were pretty bad prior to COVID. The real pandemic is not some respiratory virus originating in China. The real pandemic is male thirst.

 

[SW15]

If you don't mind me saying, I feel that you approach Swipe Apps with the wrong mindset. I don't date women on swipe apps (that's girlfriend privilege in my books, and my time is too precious). It's either straight to my place for a drink, or meet at cafe or bar near my place for 1 drink and back to my place. I always attempt to bang on the first date. Once you achieve the bang then the ball is largely in your court. Depending on how I feel post-bang, I will either gradually ghost her, or plate her for a few more rounds. I don't usually retain plates because I'm fairly black and white. If I like a girl enough to want to regularly bang her, then a relationship will usually develop.

COVID can provide a convenient excuse for first date meeting at my place. I will say something along the lines of "I don't want to risk getting Covid in a cafe or bar, let's meet at my place for drinks on my balcony."

I absolutely refuse to spend money on women unless we are already banging. She's lucky to get a single c0cktail or a cup of coffee, and when I do that I feel like I have already over-invested and she is getting something for free. I am fully aware that the modern woman is a time parasite and will take your energy/cash without rewarding you with sex. I rebel against this.

It is entirely possible that my mindset has not been correct in dealing with swipe apps and that might have contributed to some of my issues with them. Even ignoring that, it's not an ideal venue for a lot of men, and my own personal attitudes/desires and other factors might contribute to why it hasn't been best for me. Over the course of my life, I've never been tremendously excited about shorter term sexual arrangements. I have preferred longer term things (6 months - 2 years). With that said though, my lifetime notch count is higher than 90 something percent of men. Most men have sex with less than ~7 women lifetime.

I've been taking some time to try to figure out what's next for me. I have a blank slate right now. It's a privilege to get to be 37 and be child free. I have no responsibilities in life and I really like that.

I don't want to be buying drinks for women in bars when they open up again post COVID or on swipe app dates. I've moved most of my in-person gaming to day game, and that occurred many years before COVID hit.

 

[daproest1]

I was, and sometimes still am, a bartender... Never buy a woman who’s not yours, a drink. Ever. Just don’t. Get her to buy u one. Or find a bozo who’s looking at her all googly eyed, point at him, and say “no, but I bet his dumb a55 would” and smirk. She’ll either laugh and stay put, Cuz U peaked her curiosity, or she’ll take u up on it, Go flirt a drink out of the bozo, and still find her way back to you. Win/win. If she does the second things, she’s low quality.