renewing an old attraction for this coming semester

[ufotofu9]

Hello, I would really appreciate your feedback on this situation. First, some background.
I am going to be a senior in college come this fall. Last fall I met this girl, I'll call her
Karen, through a friend. We met when she came to a party at my apartment. We learned we were in a
class together, and I thought that she was a prospect, but my friend asked her out first. So when I saw
her for the next few weeks in class, it seemed like we were only friends. It didn't work out
between her and my friend, so I thought after some time I would go for her. But there were two problems:
1)I hadn't looked at this website and hadn't the slightest clue how to woo her over, and 2) I had
built her up so much in my mind that when I talked to her, it came out nervous andawkward. So we hung
out a few times, but it was clear that there was nothing between us. I probably Imed her too much, and called her, just wanting to talk. (dork)
In the spring I met another girl, and we went out all through the semester, so I saw very
little of Karen. Towards the the end of the relationship with my ex-girlfriend, I talked to Karen some
through IM and phone, and even asked her to lunch, but she just kept blowing me off.
So this summer I stayed at school while Karen was home. I thought about her a lot (infatuated
is more like it) until I read the post on this site that said thinking about her is counterproductive
because it will make you nervous and you'll come off akward to her. It's been tough, and I actually
slipped up and e-mailed her earlier this summer saying that I'd 'love to see her sometime.'(what a
dork)
My real question is, what can I do when school starts in the fall to win her over--if not for a
relationship than at least for a hook-up. In other words, what should be my Plan of Action? Thank
you very much.

 

[Survivor]

Congratulations on discovering this site, ufotofu9.

I graduated a few years ago so I understand what you are experiencing. You've pretty much created in your mind a fantasy of a "dream girl" and projected that fantasy onto Karen's body. You are cognizant and aware of this, but unsure of how to deal with your emotions.

Depending on the circumstances, its pretty much garaunteed to you will see Karen again, so I'd advise not to make any unnecessary effort to woo her. She already knows you are interested in her. The ball is in her court now so the best thing for you to do is leave well enough alone. When you do see her, follow very basic principles that this site has established for dealing with attractive women, but I'll let you do your own homework to find out how.

Right now, your focus should be on curing yourself of this infactuation, and nothing else.

Hey there's a kid here named Jwhite17. He's doing something that I think you should start doing too.

Check it out.

 

[ufotofu9]

Well, waiting for her move may be counterproductive. You see, we go to a rather large school, so bumping in to each other isn't always likely. Also, I want to be a bit more proactive about this. I was considering this:
A little bit after school starts, give her a call to hang out at my place. (play darts, watch a movie, smoke pot, etc.) Once she's there, I can sort of restart what we had before, only be a little more cool about it (allow her to a talk more than I do, be playful and funny, but not give too much away, like that scene with Tom cruise and Penelope Cruz in 'Vanilla Sky.') In an awkward silence or whatever I go for the kiss. Does that sound like a good plan? Thanks

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by ufotofu9
Well, waiting for her move may be counterproductive.

I didn't advise you to wait on her. You've already done enough of that. Did you even check out the link I provided?

You see, we go to a rather large school, so bumping in to each other isn't always likely.

Which is more reason not to place so much energy on one girl... which is what you're doing right now, whether you admit it or not.

Also, I want to be a bit more proactive about this.

If you wanted to be proactive about something, you'd do what jwhite17 is doing.

I was considering this:
A little bit after school starts, give her a call to hang out at my place. (play darts, watch a movie, smoke pot, etc.) Once she's there, I can sort of restart what we had before, only be a little more cool about it (allow her to a talk more than I do, be playful and funny, but not give too much away, like that scene with Tom cruise and Penelope Cruz in 'Vanilla Sky.') In an awkward silence or whatever I go for the kiss. Does that sound like a good plan? Thanks

Sounds like a great plan...that is, for a girl that has already proven herself interested. But from what it sounds like, she hasn't done that. She's already blown you off once. Nor has she made any effort to contact you.

Maybe she's interested, so ahead with your plan. But remember that this isn't "Vanilla Sky", kid. Its real life. You're not Tom Cruise and she sure as hell isn't Penelope Cruz. Go ahead with your plan if you wish, but don't lie to yourself when it becomes totally obvious that Karen was never interested in you.

 

[ufotofu9]

Your certainly right about me spending too much energy on one girl. Thanks for the second post.