Remaining ambiguous, aloof, elusive: killing dates?

[Tariqa]

If a girl asks me personal questions like "what do I do for a living" I never answer directly. I don't believe a women should be grilling a man to see if he meets her standards and a man should offer the information he chooses to offer without a women pressing information out of him.

But this has worked against me in millions of ways. My dates could be going smooth, but the minute they realize I won't answer a question directly or with detail, most will make an issue about it immediately and the date goes south from there ..

Some women will continue to date me, but make complaints about me being evasive or ambiguous every time we meet.

I think I'm killing dates but I thought the idea was to remain a mystery? It's not like I'm doing this for fun though, I genuinely dont feel comfortable telling strangers where I'm from and what I do and information that I can be judged by

I rather be asked how I think, what I think about, what I believe. Those are questions I have no problem answering.


What do you guys think? Evasive = sexy or creepy?

 

[pyros]

There are numerous concepts of Game that either do not really work or they dont work cause guys take them to an extreme.

For example, "you have to be a mystery" doesnt mean you dont tell her anything about you and you keep everything hidden from her. That's just nonsense. What that "rule" actually means is that you should not tell her EVERYTHING about you too fast. Just that.
If she asks you what do you do for a living, you can answer her. What's the problem? dont you wanna know what's her job? same thing.
You dont, however, tell her on date one that you are an engineer, that you love your sister, that you collect stamps, that you fell in love with your high school girlfriend, and that you fart too often. Too much info too quickly ---> bad.

If you don't share information about you she will definetely think that you're hidding something negative, so yes, doing this can be counter-productive so stop this nonsense.

Also, I've been experiencing lately that if you act too aloof...like some "rules" say, they lose interest in you just because they are expecting you to show interest in them. You dont have to turn totally beta buying her stuff in every date, or calling her evey damn day, but if you do too little --> bad.
This rule only works if she is SUPER INTO YOU, and that doesn't happen with girls you just met. Maybe with your ex, or fwb but not with new girls.

 

[Tariqa]

There are numerous concepts of Game that either do not really work or they dont work cause guys take them to an extreme.

For example, "you have to be a mystery" doesnt mean you dont tell her anything about you and you keep everything hidden from her. That's just nonsense. What that "rule" actually means is that you should not tell her EVERYTHING about you too fast. Just that.
If she asks you what do you do for a living, you can answer her. What's the problem? dont you wanna know what's her job? same thing.
You dont, however, tell her on date one that you are an engineer, that you love your sister, that you collect stamps, that you fell in love with your high school girlfriend, and that you fart too often. Too much info too quickly ---> bad.

If you don't share information about you she will definetely think that you're hidding something negative, so yes, doing this can be counter-productive so stop this nonsense.

Also, I've been experiencing lately that if you act too aloof...like some "rules" say, they lose interest in you just because they are expecting you to show interest in them. You dont have to turn totally beta buying her stuff in every date, or calling her evey damn day, but if you do too little --> bad.
This rule only works if she is SUPER INTO YOU, and that doesn't happen with girls you just met. Maybe with your ex, or fwb but not with new girls.

Sucks to have to learn that the hard way but I have had tons more success before I learned the game and now I'm realizing I think I learnt all wrong

 

[Afrei]

Everything is a balance you can't go to one extreme or the other, beside in order to have some kind of connection there needs to be a common base of trust within each other, if you evade questions that are meant for her to have a sense of who you are,then it may raise red flag on her. remember when you guys meet at first you are a total etranger to her, you could be anyone and the news are alway fills with people getting murder, rape or violent assaulted
......for example I won't tell Her that I work for such and such company with a big salary but I'll tell her I'm an engineer...I wouldn't tell her that I'm an part of a dance academy but I'll tell her I love dancing ect....and if we have something in common that we both like of course I'll share things with her about that topic ...at the end it's important that she feel that it safe for her to go home with you

 

[Sprayarc]

You can be personable and aloof/ evasive at the same time.

 

[JohnChops]

pyros hit it.

too aloof, too "mysterious" only kills attraction it does not build it. Every tool works but if you use a screw driver like a hammer it will not work optimally. Take the tools you learn here, try them out, what works keep what doesnt discard.

I also find that being too mysterious about those questions kills attraction. I had a girl where I pretty much told her nothing and she was quite attracted to me at first, very interested, always asking me questions and wanting to hangout. When I just killed the conversation or never answered she stopped and became distant.

 

[Skyline]

When a girl asks question(s) about you then that alone is a sign of interest.

It wouldn't make sense to avoid increasing her interest but it also doesn't make sense to give her your life story on a simple :"what do you do for a living?"

 

[HoneyHitter]

Tariqa, I wonder if you even know how to lead an interested girl where you want her to go. Reading her body language and getting her to crave your every touch.

I rarely get this interview question thrown at me before the lay because I'm constantly pushing the interaction forward. By making sure I keep leading the conversation.
Most of the conversation is just a way to get closer to eachother physically. To the point where she's constantly touching you while you're petting her.

I don't have a super exciting job so I mostly talk about hobbies, things I enjoy and the girl. And somehow the girl just ends up filling out the blanks with these generous assumptions based on how good I make her feel.

 

[Trump]

If a girl asks me personal questions like "what do I do for a living" I never answer directly. I don't believe a women should be grilling a man to see if he meets her standards and a man should offer the information he chooses to offer without a women pressing information out of him.

But this has worked against me in millions of ways. My dates could be going smooth, but the minute they realize I won't answer a question directly or with detail, most will make an issue about it immediately and the date goes south from there ..

Some women will continue to date me, but make complaints about me being evasive or ambiguous every time we meet.

I think I'm killing dates but I thought the idea was to remain a mystery? It's not like I'm doing this for fun though, I genuinely dont feel comfortable telling strangers where I'm from and what I do and information that I can be judged by

Let me guess bro, you are not a Doctor or Lawyer or Famous Director with millions, otherwise you wouldn't be so evasive when a good looking girl asks you what do you do.

What else is a girl supposed to judge you by? That you are "nice" and "decent" person? Come on bro, this is REAL life. She only cares what you can do for her and will relate to you if you have something in common with her, something she can show off. By you being evasive means you are either ashamed of what you do or doing something criminal.

 

[hanni]

What you do for a living is NOT all you are, guys. Aint you got anything else going on? Lord Bryon, many another artist, or small rock band's lead singer, etc, get plenty of women, and were/are very much lacking in money.