Relationships do not reslove the emptiness that lurks within you

[deltabeta]

Since early teenage years, I have had this emptiness that was born inside me as an aftermath of realizing that there's no infinite consciousness ruling the humankind, or simply put, God. This emptiness is what Sartre talks about in regards to the word "Forlorn" in "Humanism of Existentialism" (although what he specifically means is the loss of moral compass guiding our actions, since there is no God to say what's wrong or right).

Growing up, due to parenting, disney, and school, I unknowingly put girls on a pedestal. This pedestalization was overcome 3 years ago (I'm 21 right now) but the emptiness was still inside me. It never left me. I always thought a relationship with a beautiful girl would solve everything. I genuinely believed that love was the answer to everything. But then reality set in: most of the beautiful girls are so entitled, bitchy, and dull that I couldn't bear talking to them and "falling in love" before the woman you're wooing does, is a major mistake. So how to overcome this existential tension within you? This emptiness that says, "all you do is for nothing and you'll be forgotten and erased forever".

What worked for me was that once I was exposed to the redpill, I started working on myself. I started reading, studying hard because I loved it, lifting, and caring less and less for validation from women. I started to become internally stronger, or you can say I built my frame. But then again from time to time, when I was alone, this emptiness came back. Now I did not care. I did not care whether I was significant or insignificant because I enjoying the journey.

Now when I see a beautiful woman, I become happy and sad. Happy because she is beautiful and sad because she is useless to me. Do I want to sleep with her? Yes but even if she rejects me, it won't matter because I have an internally strong frame. I have peace inside me and I have almost taken control of that emptiness that from time to time makes men lonely and vulnerable. Its a delusion that women can solve any of your problems. Work hard, nobody cares.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Since early teenage years, I have had this emptiness that was born inside me as an aftermath of realizing that there's no infinite consciousness ruling the humankind, or simply put, God. This emptiness is what Sartre talks about in regards to the word "Forlorn" in "Humanism of Existentialism" (although what he specifically means is the loss of moral compass guiding our actions, since there is no God to say what's wrong or right).

Growing up, due to parenting, disney, and school, I unknowingly put girls on a pedestal. This pedestalization was overcome 3 years ago (I'm 21 right now) but the emptiness was still inside me. It never left me. I always thought a relationship with a beautiful girl would solve everything. I genuinely believed that love was the answer to everything. But then reality set in: most of the beautiful girls are so entitled, *****y, and dull that I couldn't bear talking to them and "falling in love" before the woman you're wooing does, is a major mistake. So how to overcome this existential tension within you? This emptiness that says, "all you do is for nothing and you'll be forgotten and erased forever".

What worked for me was that once I was exposed to the redpill, I started working on myself. I started reading, studying hard because I loved it, lifting, and caring less and less for validation from women. I started to become internally stronger, or you can say I built my frame. But then again from time to time, when I was alone, this emptiness came back. Now I did not care. I did not care whether I was significant or insignificant because I enjoying the journey.

Now when I see a beautiful woman, I become happy and sad. Happy because she is beautiful and sad because she is useless to me. Do I want to sleep with her? Yes but even if she rejects me, it won't matter because I have an internally strong frame. I have peace inside me and I have almost taken control of that emptiness that from time to time makes men lonely and vulnerable. Its a delusion that women can solve any of your problems. Work hard, nobody cares.

Nice to hear another atheist talking about this. The loss of my father and letting go of all the fantasies and myths of religions which were created solely out of a fear of dying, was not an easy thing. Every living thing in the universe dies and that's depressing as hell.

I am 27 and going through similar things. I am alone about 60% of my waking life, but am proud to say I do not have any serious addictions. The darkness creeps it, but I don't run from it. I face it.

I do wish I got more girls. My cynicism has made me very introverted and I don't approach nearly as much as other guys on here.

 

[searching solace]

I do wish I got more girls. My cynicism has made me very introverted and I don't approach nearly as much as other guys on here.

I can relate to this. I'm 26 and after a couple of very bad relationships, with the last one making me question everything about myself and 'love', I have become more and more cynical and I don't think I even see the world as a good place anymore. I have always been more introverted but I fear my last relationship/break-up and resulting depression will make me even more so.

I have very little desire or motivation to pursue women and this alone is worrying. I don't want to be this jaded cynic that I seem to be becoming.

 

[dustmuffin]

I can relate to this. I'm 26 and after a couple of very bad relationships, with the last one making me question everything about myself and 'love', I have become more and more cynical and I don't think I even see the world as a good place anymore. I have always been more introverted but I fear my last relationship/break-up and resulting depression will make me even more so.

I have very little desire or motivation to pursue women and this alone is worrying. I don't want to be this jaded cynic that I seem to be becoming.

Not an issue. You don't need a woman. Improve yourself and when you feel like it pursue women. What is most important is to pull yourself out of your depression and make your life better for you.

 

[Julian]

notice u began feeling this way when you abandoned God? What made u come to your atheistic viewpoint? doesnt mean you are correct. maybe turn back to God while still improving yourself and you will find some happiness..

 

[deltabeta]

I do wish I got more girls. My cynicism has made me very introverted and I don't approach nearly as much as other guys on here.

I work in a call center for fundraising and you won't believe how rude people can be when they can get away with it. Cynicism has been deep-rooted inside my due to my experience with people. Like yourself, I am not approaching a lot of women since I am more concentrating on my life goals. I will get back to the dating scene once I have increased my SMV and have my life together.

 

[deltabeta]

notice u began feeling this way when you abandoned God? What made u come to your atheistic viewpoint? doesnt mean you are correct. maybe turn back to God while still improving yourself and you will find some happiness..

Not to turn this into a theistic-atheistic debate but usually the way things work in the scientific world is that something does not exist if you cannot prove its existence, not the other way round. And as of now, science is the best tool we have got to figure out things.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

notice u began feeling this way when you abandoned God? What made u come to your atheistic viewpoint? doesnt mean you are correct. maybe turn back to God while still improving yourself and you will find some happiness..

Because there is no evidence to believe in consciousness independent of the brain and an invisible sky friend just so I can feel good about living forever.

 

[Julian]

@deltabeta @BlueAlpha1

believe what you guys want but there is a reason all top government officials and business CEO's are into the occult. look into the history of the washington monument, the number 13, our funding fathers, masonic sh1t...only requirement to be a freemason is the believe in a higher being/God. Most presidents/world rulers are freemasons.


you see the problem with this godless generation is you been tricked to believe that science is the end all be all...who created science? why is nature perfect? you cant say this is all coincidence because you cant prove the miraculous nature of it all. look us as humans. are we not a miracle? science was created. just like the world was created the universe blabalbla. the rabbit hole goes very deep fellas. its sad theres an entire generation who's belief in a God has been suspended...the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesnt exist...and if he convinces people God doesnt exist..even better (for him).

This is coming from a staunch atheist born in the 80's kid. Do some research and expand your minds. Its easy to chalk it up and mock it all to "oh ain invisible sky spaghetti monster blablabla" and have a cynical point of view. but ask any scientist out there...they know damn well our existance cant be explained by science alone and every top scientist an scholar will agree that point.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

@deltabeta @BlueAlpha1

believe what you guys want but there is a reason all top government officials and business CEO's are into the occult. look into the history of the washington monument, the number 13, our funding fathers, masonic sh1t...only requirement to be a freemason is the believe in a higher being/God. Most presidents/world rulers are freemasons.


you see the problem with this godless generation is you been tricked to believe that science is the end all be all...who created science? why is nature perfect? you cant say this is all coincidence because you cant prove the miraculous nature of it all. look us as humans. are we not a miracle? science was created. just like the world was created the universe blabalbla. the rabbit hole goes very deep fellas. its sad theres an entire generation who's belief in a God has been suspended...the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesnt exist...and if he convinces people God doesnt exist..even better (for him).

This is coming from a staunch atheist born in the 80's kid. Do some research and expand your minds. Its easy to chalk it up and mock it all to "oh ain invisible sky spaghetti monster blablabla" and have a cynical point of view. but ask any scientist out there...they know damn well our existance cant be explained by science alone and every top scientist an scholar will agree that point.

This is woo woo. A few Biblical themes about some "devil" sprinkled in with some spiritual new-age miracle babble doesn't mean anything.There is zero evidence for a creator, consciousness independent of the brain, a "universal spirit", a third eye. It's all incoherent doggerel.

Atheists don't claim to know anything. You are the one making the claim thus the onus is on you to explain why you believe something to be true. Our minds look for patterns and what you believe to be evidence is anecdotal and that's being kind. Absence of knowledge, if we don't know something, is not evidence of god. It's evidence we need to do better science.

Now tell me about the 9 million children that die under aged 5 every year and how this is all "part of the plan". Just like I'm sure that promotion at work you got is god's plan too. You sir are the apex of narcissism to believe the creator of the universe cares more about you than that 4 year girl that gets beheaded by ISIS. Shameless.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Have you ever experienced love in a relationship? Chasing beautiful females will not get you this and leave you more empty.

 

[Julian]

This is woo woo. A few Biblical themes about some "devil" sprinkled in with some spiritual new-age miracle babble doesn't mean anything.There is zero evidence for a creator, consciousness independent of the brain, a "universal spirit", a third eye. It's all incoherent doggerel.

Atheists don't claim to know anything. You are the one making the claim thus the onus is on you to explain why you believe something to be true. Our minds look for patterns and what you believe to be evidence is anecdotal and that's being kind. Absence of knowledge, if we don't know something, is not evidence of god. It's evidence we need to do better science.

Now tell me about the 9 million children that die under aged 5 every year and how this is all "part of the plan". Just like I'm sure that promotion at work you got is god's plan too. You sir are the apex of narcissism to believe the creator of the universe cares more about you than that 4 year girl that gets beheaded by ISIS. Shameless.

getting a little heated are we? look bro im not trying to change anyones mind here. you remind me of some left wing liberal fascist bernie type supporter who wont allow others to have their own thoughts and opinions.

What it comes down to is faith brother. What you need to understand is that God created humans to have FREE WILL. That is what allows you to believe what you believe and talk about it. It is what allows the innocent to die and evil to occur. You see, humans are born inherently evil. Thats why there are so many laws rules morals ethic regulations etc. We are not ingrained with whats good typically. It is taught, and sometimes beat into us lol.

Our physical world is ruled by evil, the lucifer/satan if you will. Humans that do evil things like cutting off a kids head will end up in an eternal hell, thats my personal belief. Can I prove that? of course not. but that doesnt mean its not true. the absence of evidence does not prove falseness.

also, all that doggerel is only incoherant to you because you obviously have a very bullheaded approach and dont appear to like the idea of differeint thoughts and viewpoints. so if anything you are the one suffering from narcissistic tendencies buddy.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

getting a little heated are we? look bro im not trying to change anyones mind here. you remind me of some left wing liberal fascist bernie type supporter who wont allow others to have their own thoughts and opinions.

I'm voting for Donald Trump and consider myself right-wing 35 yard line.

What it comes down to is faith brother. What you need to understand is that God created humans to have FREE WILL. That is what allows you to believe what you believe and talk about it. It is what allows the innocent to die and evil to occur. You see, humans are born inherently evil. Thats why there are so many laws rules morals ethic regulations etc. We are not ingrained with whats good typically. It is taught, and sometimes beat into us lol.

What you need to understand is that this is a pie in the sky theory that has no basis in the real world. Faith means believing in something on insufficient evidence. I can have faith I am going to be the world's first trillionaire - it doesn't make it so.

We do not allow people to get away with this in any other area of discourse, be it politics, relationships, employment, etc. We are never implored to respect other people's beliefs in these areas if they are not based in reality or facts. When someone insists that Hitler was a great person, that person immediately loses credibility in the political arena. But when someone claims unbaptized babies go to "hell" I'm supposed to "respect their belief" because religious beliefs are taboo to criticize? That isn't going to fly.

All atheists ever do is take it one step further and insist on that same standard of credibility in religion also.

Our physical world is ruled by evil, the lucifer/satan if you will. Humans that do evil things like cutting off a kids head will end up in an eternal hell, thats my personal belief. Can I prove that? of course not. but that doesnt mean its not true. the absence of evidence does not prove falseness.

This is why it's impossible to debate a religious person and why the "spahgetti monster" analogy exists. When you can make things up (Satan/hell) and continuously move the goal posts any time you lose on a point, by just adding more layers to these myths, there is no conversation to be had.

Inability to prove something is enough to consider it untrue because you can't prove a negative. You can't disprove Elvis wasn't taken up in a spaceship and is currently living on Saturn.

also, all that doggerel is only incoherant to you because you obviously have a very bullheaded approach and dont appear to like the idea of differeint thoughts and viewpoints. so if anything you are the one suffering from narcissistic tendencies buddy.

Other viewpoints are fine if they can be substantiated. Yours cannot.

Narcissism is not saying "I don't know." Narcissism is believing the creator of the universe created this vast cosmos in order to have a relationship with one species of primate, and cares about your well being. With zero evidence for any of it.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You don't need religion to feel complete, or whole. All you need is a group of like minded people that share the same goals, fears, and instincts, and the feeling of having each other's back when the chips are down. Bonus points is one of them is a hot girl that thinks you're a hot guy and you both enjoy banging each other silly every couple of days.

You may even argue, from a purely psychological point of view, that is why religious people have a feeling of "wholeness." It's not the belief in God that creates it, it's the feeling of community that is a natural byproduct from coming together on a regular basis for worship.

If you DON'T have a group like that, you should make it a point to build one.

And there's no shame in joining a church just to "belong" so long as you see the "God story" as a metaphor for something humans can never possibly understand. (more bonus points if there's plenty of horny religious girlies)

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I'm atheist, I don't believe in the biblical 'GOD" but I am open minded enough where if there is enough evidence.As an atheist I have experienced ESP, and other strange phenomena throughout my life that has made me question life, materlistic science and the way science is compartmentalized.

Majority of people understanding is that if one is an atheist, they can't or should not believe in ESP, Afterlife reincarnation ETC. Do I know if there is an afterlife? No I don't I'm 50/50 on the evidence I have seen, there is loads of it. Sam parnia has some good studies on it. ESP? yes! Why? Cause I have experienced it a few times throughout my life. General consensus is it doesn't exist or not enough evidence, even though there are tons of studies you can find in google.

My moral compass is in tack, I know what is "right" or "wrong" for me. I don't need a bible or books to tell me that.

My point is you can be atheist and be opened minded and not fall in to the life is meaningless paradigm of 90 percent of atheist. Its much more fluid and gray then that and more atheist are becoming like that.

Religion does not have the copyright for the "supernatural" (Hate that word because everything just is)

 

[Julian]

I'm voting for Donald Trump and consider myself right-wing 35 yard line.



What you need to understand is that this is a pie in the sky theory that has no basis in the real world. Faith means believing in something on insufficient evidence. I can have faith I am going to be the world's first trillionaire - it doesn't make it so.

We do not allow people to get away with this in any other area of discourse, be it politics, relationships, employment, etc. We are never implored to respect other people's beliefs in these areas if they are not based in reality or facts. When someone insists that Hitler was a great person, that person immediately loses credibility in the political arena. But when someone claims unbaptized babies go to "hell" I'm supposed to "respect their belief" because religious beliefs are taboo to criticize? That isn't going to fly.

All atheists ever do is take it one step further and insist on that same standard of credibility in religion also.



This is why it's impossible to debate a religious person and why the "spahgetti monster" analogy exists. When you can make things up (Satan/hell) and continuously move the goal posts any time you lose on a point, by just adding more layers to these myths, there is no conversation to be had.

Inability to prove something is enough to consider it untrue because you can't prove a negative. You can't disprove Elvis wasn't taken up in a spaceship and is currently living on Saturn.



Other viewpoints are fine if they can be substantiated. Yours cannot.

Narcissism is not saying "I don't know." Narcissism is believing the creator of the universe created this vast cosmos in order to have a relationship with one species of primate, and cares about your well being. With zero evidence for any of it.

Maybe you should believe you will be the worlds first trillionaire...maybe then you will achieve greatness with your life instead of just thinking small and being stuck into one point of view.

The difference between you and I is that with you there is a certain VENOM in your words. I can sense the seething underlying anger in your post. For whatever reason, the talks of God and religion truly strike a chord within you. Examine this and perhaps find a reason why??


There is no debate here because I am not arguing any points with you. Im simply stating my personal truths wether you agree or not, the fuks i give are nonexistent.

 

[amazingswayze]

There's plenty of people who accept this truth and still live a fulfilling life. You're just being too extreme.

You can still fall in love, although it won't last forever.

Enjoy the ride.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Maybe you should believe you will be the worlds first trillionaire...maybe then you will achieve greatness with your life instead of just thinking small and being stuck into one point of view.

The difference between you and I is that with you there is a certain VENOM in your words. I can sense the seething underlying anger in your post. For whatever reason, the talks of God and religion truly strike a chord within you. Examine this and perhaps find a reason why??

I don't have to believe in myths that have been debunked to think big in this life. What does you believing the world is 6,000 years old have to do with success in this life? And the evidence strongly suggests that when you consider the market cap of the USD, that it would be almost mathematically impossible for one person to acquire a trillion dollars to himself. So it makes no sense to believe it, much like it makes no sense to believe Christianity is true.

There is no venom, but I am holding your feet to the fire and you're not used to that because religion is always given a free pass. That's how we can have an absurd and meaningless word like "Islamophobia", as though the doctrines of Islam are not perfectly rational to fear. The teachings of the Abrahamic faiths are literally insane, and I am quite reasonable in not respecting them.

There are over 4,000 religions in the world and they are mutually incompatible. By your logic, at best 3,999 of them would be wrong. Atheists just take that one religion further.

Religions exist solely because of the fear of death, and you would be in a mental asylum if you didn't have strength in numbers and there weren't a billion other people going along with the same freak show.

There is no debate here because I am not arguing any points with you. Im simply stating my personal truths wether you agree or not, the fuks i give are nonexistent.

There is no such thing as a "personal truth". Something is either true or not.

And you quite obviously care. We've been debating this for half a day now. I'll never understand why people say "I could care less" when they've responded every single time.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I'm atheist, I don't believe in the biblical 'GOD" but I am open minded enough where if there is enough evidence.As an atheist I have experienced ESP, and other strange phenomena throughout my life that has made me question life, materlistic science and the way science is compartmentalized.

Majority of people understanding is that if one is an atheist, they can't or should not believe in ESP, Afterlife reincarnation ETC. Do I know if there is an afterlife? No I don't I'm 50/50 on the evidence I have seen, there is loads of it. Sam parnia has some good studies on it. ESP? yes! Why? Cause I have experienced it a few times throughout my life. General consensus is it doesn't exist or not enough evidence, even though there are tons of studies you can find in google.

My moral compass is in tack, I know what is "right" or "wrong" for me. I don't need a bible or books to tell me that.

My point is you can be atheist and be opened minded and not fall in to the life is meaningless paradigm of 90 percent of atheist. Its much more fluid and gray then that and more atheist are becoming like that.

Religion does not have the copyright for the "supernatural" (Hate that word because everything just is)

Most atheists are open minded to new evidence. We would all be religious if there was good reason to be so. But we are getting a little impatient with fellow humans (nothing more than an advanced species of primate) telling us how to live our lives because they have the creator of the universe on their side. Julian believes in the Christian hell with Satan and all his minions and likely believes I'm going there. You bet his argument is going to be eviscerated with reckless abandon.

And please explain what evidence exists for an afterlife?

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Most atheists are open minded to new evidence. We would all be religious if there was good reason to be so. But we are getting a little impatient with fellow humans (nothing more than an advanced species of primate) telling us how to live our lives because they have the creator of the universe on their side. Julian believes in the Christian hell with Satan and all his minions and likely believes I'm going there. You bet his argument is going to be eviscerated with reckless abandon.

And please explain what evidence exists for an afterlife?

For afterlife or transition evidence looked up Sam Parnia. I'm still not 100 percent completely sold on that yet.
Aware study. Watch out as there is a lot of spin from both camps and what the study means
ESP there is a bunch, I had my own experiences so I know it exists. Its anecdotal, but that's fine by me.