Relationship sex poll

[Captain]

Buy some nice oils and give her a massage tonight. Whohooo!

(And I have to agree with slickaz)

She doesn't deserve a massage. That would just be validating her bad behaviour.

Sex is needed.

 

[Guoy Darko]

She doesn't deserve a massage. That would just be validating her bad behaviour.

Sex is needed.

Yes, but massages (can) lead to sex. Massages are foreplay for foreplay. They are good before sleeping (say that) but if you do it right it will make her horny. I don't know a single woman who doesn't like to be massaged.

 

[Guoy Darko]

And why doesn't she deserve a massage? Is she a bad dog? Maybe something's bothering her. I don't know her reasons.

 

[Captain]

And why doesn't she deserve a massage? Is she a bad dog? Maybe something's bothering her. I don't know her reasons.

You should read the OP's other thread. It's been going on for 8 months now.

A nice massage would just validate her behaviour. He's been supplicating and tolerating her actions all this time, he needs to make a hard change (by having sex with her or leaving her.)

 

[DJinTraining06]

Yes, but massages (can) lead to sex. Massages are foreplay for foreplay. They are good before sleeping (say that) but if you do it right it will make her horny. I don't know a single woman who doesn't like to be massaged.

She gets angry when I wake her up. She gets up at 6:30-6:45 am for work. I don't know any other adults who get 8 1/2 to 9 1/2 hrs sleep religiously. Hey god bless her that's healthy i suppose but if u convince ur boyfriend to move in with u and then ur never up and u never sleep with him that's annoying i wish i had known she was a grandma. Even on weekends she goes to bed really early and she doesnt work weekends. We go out all the time its not like im a lazy cheapo guy or anything.
I take her to dinner, movies, comedy clubs, out with her firends, out with my friends, drinks, watever stuff most couples do. I spend plenty of time with her family too so i think im a pretty decent guy as far as my time and money are concerned. But the times when its bad weather or we just mutually decide to stay in, she leaves me awake by myself at 10:30-11 sometimes, its riduculous. I end up bored and angry and wish i had gone out with my friends, which i should have. Unfortunately alot of my friends are married or live with their girls too so its hard to just go out with the guys on the spur of the moment like that without them bringing their girls so it usually has to be planned earlier in the day opr somethin. She claims she has epstein barr which makes her sleepy all the time, yet if she goes out to a bar with a friend she's out till way 2-3 am soemtimes without a problem so wheres the epstein barr then? Meanwhile there was a couple times recently where i went out with her to her friends which live kinda far, we went out had dinner and a few drinks after and we left early around 11 and got home at 11:35. You would think its a sat night maybe shed stay up a lil watch tv, maybe have sex (especially since i have an irregular work schedule and im not always home during the week till late)But nope she went straight to bed. It makes me wonder what the advantage is of moving in with a girl. Well if the girls like this apparently there is no advantage.

 

[mothballs]

Why's it always the guy's fault lol. I've tried acting like before we moved in together and it has no effect. Im startin to think she really thinks once a week tops is alot of sex. It's weird.

Did you actually try, or did you just do it for a week or two? A regiment of compliments, flowers and romantic stuff like that is usually necessary to keep things going along in an LTR... if you start doing this for like a month or two and still nothing... then you've got a real problem. If you don't want to go to the effort, then an LTR is not in your bag unless you like to not get laid.

And Captain... that's a load of crap, women are not as simplistic as pets... it's not a validation, massages are encouragement to progress to more intimate physical activities. Women need to feel that they are appreciated and loved to feel up for sex on a regular basis, that's just how a woman's sex drive works...

 

[DJinTraining06]

Did you actually try, or did you just do it for a week or two? A regiment of compliments, flowers and romantic stuff like that is usually necessary to keep things going along in an LTR... if you start doing this for like a month or two and still nothing... then you've got a real problem. If you don't want to go to the effort, then an LTR is not in your bag unless you like to not get laid.

And Captain... that's a load of crap, women are not as simplistic as pets... it's not a validation, massages are encouragement to progress to more intimate physical activities. Women need to feel that they are appreciated and loved to feel up for sex on a regular basis, that's just how a woman's sex drive works...

Geez u make me wanna agree with Captain. I am so good to this girl. I pcik her up from the train which is like 8 blocks away whenever i can, she could easily walk and should for exercise. I cook her dinner often and dont leave her pots and pan and dishes to wash, i do it myself. i do much more of the cleanign than she does, i take her out all the time and even go take walks with her, i go with her to see her family, I tell her she looks nice quite often, hell i dont know what else im supposed to do. I don't have a ton of money so i cant afford ot buy her presents all the time.
She makes 0 effort with me. She wont even stay awake for me once ina while. She doesnt blow me even tho i go down on her. She doesnt put out at all and its almost like i am forcing her when we do. She doesnt care wat i have to say about work or anything bout my day, yet i ask her and listen to her endless boring work stories. If im less romantic and sweet as i used to be, its only cuz she lowered her effort first, and quite a bit.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Once again, from the top,...

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4

NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren't married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

You are utterly powerless in this situation.

I should also emphasize the point that when you commit to cohabiting with a GF you will notice a marked decrease in her sexual availability and desire, trust me on this. All of that competitive anxiety and it's resulting sexual tension that made your single sex life so great is removed from her shoulders and she can comfortably relax in the knowledge that she is your ONLY source of sexual intimacy. Putting your name on that lease with her (even if it's just your name) is akin to signing an insurance policy for her - "I the undersigned herby promise not to ƒuck any woman but this girl for a one year term." She thinks, "if he wasn't serious about me, he wouldn't have signed the lease." Now all of that impetus and energy that made having marathon sex with you an outright necessity is relaxed. She controls the frame and she's got it in writing that it is for at least a year.

The brutally honest truth is she has no DESIRE to ƒuck you now. She's comfortable, she's relaxed, there is no competition anxiety, so she can set the frame of the relationship as best suits her security needs comfortable in knowing that she is your only source of sexuality, and she'll ration it out as the mood suits her.

What you've done by confronting her about it is attempt to negotiate her desire. Print this in big red letters and tape it to your refrigerator:

GENUINE DESIRE CANNOT BE NEGOTIATED

It's either there or it isn't. Her motivation to have sex with you before you started living together was a means to an end - her security and provisioning. Now that this end has been met there's no impetus to ƒuck you any more than would be necessary to keep you emotionally attached and/or hopeful that she'll eventually "come around".

By negotiating for her desire you've now made sex an obligation for her, not a spontaneous, lust-fueled chemical reaction. It's now a chore, like folding laundry. Every time you have sex now it will be associated with that obligation. So even if she complied with your terms of negotiation, and started ƒucking you 4-5 times a week, her sincerity and her genuine desire to do so will always be suspect now. Is she ƒucking you because she wants to, or because she feels she has to?

This is why you should start making plans to exit this LTR and your living arrangement. You could attempt to be aloof, but in negotiating you've just tipped your hand, and any lame attempt at "aloofness" will only be interpreted as you sulking for sex, which is only more repulsive to her at this point.

 

[DonJuan11]

She gets angry when I wake her up. She gets up at 6:30-6:45 am for work. I don't know any other adults who get 8 1/2 to 9 1/2 hrs sleep religiously. Hey god bless her that's healthy i suppose but if u convince ur boyfriend to move in with u and then ur never up and u never sleep with him that's annoying i wish i had known she was a grandma. Even on weekends she goes to bed really early and she doesnt work weekends. We go out all the time its not like im a lazy cheapo guy or anything.
I take her to dinner, movies, comedy clubs, out with her firends, out with my friends, drinks, watever stuff most couples do. I spend plenty of time with her family too so i think im a pretty decent guy as far as my time and money are concerned. But the times when its bad weather or we just mutually decide to stay in, she leaves me awake by myself at 10:30-11 sometimes, its riduculous. I end up bored and angry and wish i had gone out with my friends, which i should have. Unfortunately alot of my friends are married or live with their girls too so its hard to just go out with the guys on the spur of the moment like that without them bringing their girls so it usually has to be planned earlier in the day opr somethin. She claims she has epstein barr which makes her sleepy all the time, yet if she goes out to a bar with a friend she's out till way 2-3 am soemtimes without a problem so wheres the epstein barr then? Meanwhile there was a couple times recently where i went out with her to her friends which live kinda far, we went out had dinner and a few drinks after and we left early around 11 and got home at 11:35. You would think its a sat night maybe shed stay up a lil watch tv, maybe have sex (especially since i have an irregular work schedule and im not always home during the week till late)But nope she went straight to bed. It makes me wonder what the advantage is of moving in with a girl. Well if the girls like this apparently there is no advantage.

Man do you give alot alot of details about everything. Why are you worrying so much about her? Worry about yourself. It's been said a billion times before by Kontroller, Igetit, and the other masters, you take away attention from her if she's not giving you attention and sex. If you reward her, take her out to dinner, movies, friends, clubs, lounges, parties, when she gives you no sex, what incentive is there for her to give up the goods at anytime?

Her: "Sorry, I don't want to have sex tonight"
DJinTraining: "Damn, it seems like you never want sex anymore and I'm getting angry, I do all this work and never get any reward, is something wrong?"

Her: "Sorry, I don't want to have sex tonight"
DjinTraining: "I'm actually going for a run and then there's this documentary on t.v. I'd like to watch. I'll try not to wake you when I come in, have some sweet dreams."

It all depends how smart you are in changing to the subject and making it unimportant to you. It all depends how smart you are in changing the subject and putting it back on her. You have to be quick and smart in your responses to her.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Man do you give alot alot of details about everything. Why are you worrying so much about her? Worry about yourself. It's been said a billion times before by Kontroller, Igetit, and the other masters, you take away attention from her if she's not giving you attention and sex. If you reward her, take her out to dinner, movies, friends, clubs, lounges, parties, when she gives you no sex, what incentive is there for her to give up the goods at anytime?

Her: "Sorry, I don't want to have sex tonight"
DJinTraining: "Damn, it seems like you never want sex anymore and I'm getting angry, I do all this work and never get any reward, is something wrong?"

Her: "Sorry, I don't want to have sex tonight"
DjinTraining: "I'm actually going for a run and then there's this documentary on t.v. I'd like to watch. I'll try not to wake you when I come in, have some sweet dreams."

It all depends how smart you are in changing to the subject and making it unimportant to you. It all depends how smart you are in changing the subject and putting it back on her. You have to be quick and smart in your responses to her.

Hey i'll try that maybe ur right. I guess i did go a lil heavy on the details lol. There actually is one important detail i left out tho. She gave me HPV. She told me her dr said she had it about 9 months into our relationship. I noticed i caught it about 2 months later. So thats another reason im ticked off. She gives me this std, and i now im not even getting any. If we do eventually break up i gotta tell any girl i sleep with i have it now right? Or else im a really bad person. I go to a dr for it but they always come back so even if i do wat it takes to get rid of them, theres always that chance a girl will see I have it.

 

[mothballs]

Geez u make me wanna agree with Captain. I am so good to this girl. I pcik her up from the train which is like 8 blocks away whenever i can, she could easily walk and should for exercise. I cook her dinner often and dont leave her pots and pan and dishes to wash, i do it myself. i do much more of the cleanign than she does, i take her out all the time and even go take walks with her, i go with her to see her family, I tell her she looks nice quite often, hell i dont know what else im supposed to do. I don't have a ton of money so i cant afford ot buy her presents all the time.
She makes 0 effort with me. She wont even stay awake for me once ina while. She doesnt blow me even tho i go down on her. She doesnt put out at all and its almost like i am forcing her when we do. She doesnt care wat i have to say about work or anything bout my day, yet i ask her and listen to her endless boring work stories. If im less romantic and sweet as i used to be, its only cuz she lowered her effort first, and quite a bit.

Just one question: How often do you buy her flowers?

 

[DJinTraining06]

Just one question: How often do you buy her flowers?

only bday and vday