I cannot find that good topic that was recently posted about this, so I would appreciate it if someone posted it here if they know what I am talking about. I know a lot of men are interested in LTRS than they will admit it, so everyone can benefit lol. The difference between me now and before my previous relationship is that I do not have the same scarcity mindset. Before, I was constantly paranoid that she was just going to play me/pull women logic, so I would still lightly spin plates which led to me cheating multiple times. This time, if things go south then I am not worried about being single for a few months to catch up and breathe. Hopefully, this will help, but this forum could use more helpful LTR posts. Not all of us are trying to spin plates 247 lol.
Jake - I have both spun plates and have had been a number of LTRs and I also lean LTR. Here is what I have found is important:
1. Never pedestalize your woman. May seem strange since you are exclusive, but if her sh1t stinks you need to first recognize it and second call her out on it and set her right. Don't fall into the trap of thinking because you are together that you always need to "get along" or "work on things" if she is clearly in the wrong and being ridiculous.
2. Continue to always lead at least 90-95% of the time. It becomes very easy the longer you are with a woman to simply say "so what do you want to do tonight", "where should we go for dinner," "do you mind if I go out with my buddies tonight?" Continue to lead and make the decisions. Don't put it on her. Not only do women hate having to make decisions, they especially hate indecisiveness out of their man. I was very guilty of this in past LTRs.
3. Understand that your sex-life is going to drop off the longer you are with her -- but at the same time -- when you do have sex you have to rock her world. Dead bedrooms mean your LTR is doomed and will also soon be dead. But don't think it means that your LTR is over if you go from sex 7 times a week down to 3-4. If you go from every day to 0 to 1 time per week though, you have problems.
4. I do not advocate cheating, but she must understand that you are ALWAYS desireable to other women no matter how long you have been with her. Seeing your secretary flirt with you or women at the bar being extra friendly may initially make her angry at you, but it is actually a GOOD thing for you long term and you should foster this. And it goes without saying that to do this to always continue to dress well and stay in shape. Don't become a couch potato who wears jeggings when you go out just because you have been with the same woman.
There are other things - but I think I hit the big ones.
