Relationship issues --> need help from fellow DJs

[somnolence]

Dear colleagues,

I've been reading the bible and articles on sosuave.com for years, hell.. I even summerized them

I'm good looking (really) and my DJ skills are great (great records on that
Since about 10 months now I've been seeing a great girl (I already knew her for years), and we are both very in love. Now I realize that keeping a girl is really a challenge for a DJ.
Why? Well.. We got some issues, and I would like to know your opions/suggestions on them..

Issue nr. 1
We do not really go out that much, it's more the "sit on the couch and wath TV" kind of activity. I try to take her to places, but she rather stays on the couch. Why the f*ck is that?!
I try to take her outside, to a movie, to town, swimming etc. And sometimes we do these things but we almost always sit on the couch (I hate to wath TV).
Lately we r getting into fights more and more and I always try to talk it out, not to show my emotions too much, and always say what I feel and think. We are quarreling too much, when I talk about it and tell her the relationship is not going too well, she cries and agrees. I know she loves me, but why all these quarrels then?!

Issue nr. 2
We almost never have sex! I read the average is about 122 times a year(!). Well.. I do not want to have that average, but wel.. Eh, last time we ****ed was more than 2 months ago.
Believe me.. I take much attention to foreplay and I am good at it (I'm also good at ****ing, she agrees ) It's just that she does not want to, even when we are all alone she still does not want to. Hell.. We don't even kiss that intensively anymore, we just watch TV
I don't have a clue why she does not want sex. Sometimes she wants it, but that's just when she has drunk (and Ive been doing foreplay for a minimum of 30mins).. Maybe it's a FSD (Female Sexuality Disorder)?

Issue nr. 3
In about 1,5 month she is going abroard for about a year. I know that email is anti-challenge and stuff.. Im planning on writing letters and calling from time 2 time. What do you guys suggest is the best way to keep al long distance alive?!
Looking at issue 1 and 2 I would say it's hardly the effort keeping her. But.. I REALLY like her and she likes me.. Isn't this all you need for a relationship (yeah also the trust thing etc) in order for it to work?


I tried to keep this post as short as possible, thanks for the reading!!

Somnolence,

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Have you ever thought that she might be seeing someone else on the side?

That might explain why she doesn't want to go out of the house with you because she might be afraid of him seeing you two together. If it's a small town even.

That would also explain why she isn't giving up the ***** because she could be getting it from somewhere else.

But thats not the only reason. My girlfriend and I just broke up and I think the man reason she lost interest in me was me being a virgin at the time, I really sucked at sex. I wasn't used to condoms and they made my sex drive drop. Sometimes we ****ed I didn't even ***. There was only one night I'm particularly proud of. Her not being a virgin and me lying to her that I wasn't a virgin probably made her seek **** elsewhere. I'm not justifying it but I'm trying to understand it.

 

[Kidquick]

Honestly, things are not looking very good here - the no sex thing is a tell-tale sign that something is definitely wrong, and my first instinct would be to ruuuuuun! Either sit her down for a serious talk about your future together or let her go - relationships shouldn't be a source of undue stress - in fact, exactly the opposite.

 

[NewMan]

Some advice from experience....

I don't buy the seeing someone else story that some people have written - I'm not saying that's not possible, but it's really irrelevant.


It matters not why you are having these issues - but these issues are pretty serious.


- If your not getting laid - that a serious problem. No matter if it's her - or whether she's upset with the relationship - your sufferring. It will only make you resent her in the long run - and this is not going to change. There is nothing you can do to make her want sex. I'm going to believe you when you tell me that you are good at it. But I can say with 100% accuracy - that this will be an ongoing issue for you in the relationship.

- her going away for a yr. again is a show stopper. Don't need to tell you the reasons - you already know.

- If she wants to sit on the couch all night long - let her do that. There's no reason you need to as well. Go out with friends. Go do what YOU want to do. She'd either a part of it or not.



To sum up - you need to end this. It's hard - but she's not going to make you happy - and your not going to change her. Do it now - because otherwise she will end up leaving you. Guys have a tendancy to stay in a relationship way to long. You know you need to end it - it matters not how cool she is or hot she is. This is not going to work.

 

[somnolence]

Believe me.. She´s isn´t cheating..

And.. We have had many talks, so that isn´t the problem either.
She just does not want sex that much . And she´s often too tired to have any. Maybe I should run considering she´s going away for about a year...

 

[NewMan]

that would be wise young Jedi....

 

[Knicknack]

get out of this thing as fast as you can. stick a fork in her, she's done with your relationship.

 

[electron]

dude not wanting sex for 2+ months is BAD there is something wrong there.....I mean I couldn't and wouldn't last that long either should you....find another chick

 

[CLOONEY]

The not having sex part is not a HUGE problem for u personally, u can just have a wank. Lets face it, anyone except a nymphomaniac can easily go 2 months without sex. U have done it before and surely can do it again.

It is definately a problem however in terms of interest. If she wants to lie around all the time, maybe she has an iron deficiency? Maybe she has something physically wrong with her for not wanting to be active or have sex.

The quaralling, yep, that is just a problem with your two personalities. It will probably never stop.

Girls man, u cant live with em, u cant live without em. Sorry I cant give u much advice, but this is just a personality thing. And I dont feel there is too much u can do, except sit her down, tell her what your problems are with the relationship in a very clear easy to understand way. It is then upto her to listen and try to make it work, even if that means she has to put out when she doesnt want to. Relationships are all about compramise, u might also have to just accept some of the things she does, and not fight over them. U two have to grow together, or this is just gonna tear you apart.

Oh and the year away thing, I think that pretty much is gonna fukc your relationship. Although there is always hope.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Your woman is bored! You've become complacent...

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Question #1: Why stress over a girl who's leaving to go abroad real soon? I really doubt you'll want to keep the relationship going when she's away. If you do, make for damn sure that you go meet more girls so you CAN get sex.

Don't give up the control of the relationship!! Remember a MAN does what a MAN wants to do, when and where. If your bored sitting on the couch watching TV with her (I would be too) then go out. Trust me bro, if this girl likes you as much as you think, she'll do things to show you she cares. Seems like the only thing she's doing is raising your interest level by trying to de-attach herself from you before you leaves to go abroad.


I know its hard to just drop it, but I'd start looking at other options and keep her on the side.



PIMP