relationship going sour

[thepapalinsignia]

hello ive been this board,but passwords and email addys have changed,so heres a new account anyways.....


right now my girlfriend and i are going through a huge crisis.we have been together for a year and 2 months.in the begining we totally followed our hearts.i went out with her for month and it became long distance relationship for about 4 months till i moved to be with her.we have been through alot of hard times,but now is the hardest.

we currently live together.but we do not see eachother as often as we would like .the big problem is her major is very demanding.and she works.so i get little time with her,and she gets a very limited social life. this has caused alot of friction.in the last few weeks we have had bad arguments.this girl is the warmest sweetest girl who would do anything for anyone.and its hard to argue with her because she cant take confrontation. not at all.im not even a yeller,i just need to explain my opinions. after the last few fights ,the **** has hit the fan....i guess ill make a rundown list.......

shes cold and moody.

dwells on past arguments.

told me that she doesnt think she can create memories we used to have because things are different,shes extremely busy and when we first met we had all the time in the world and shes not a kid anymore and everything is harder now that shes growing up.

says shes still in love with me,but has cut off sex,yet sill needs to sleep in bed with me every night,yet ignores me when i try to be warm with her and affectionate

has lost 10 lbs

slept through a midterm(she rarely sleeps a full night,usually she is working on projects till day break) her sleeping habits are usually what get me pissed off.

she says she needs space.i understand to a certain extent but its so gray to me.to me its black and white and ive admitted that ive treated her wrong and i know how to make things work yet shes still cold.

im going nuts.im leaving tomorrow and taking a week to go home. i still ove this girl,she is the sweetest thing ever up until this crazy work schedule.im at my wits end.she says she loves me but....shes not doing a good job of showing.she admits that its unfair that she cant give me the time i need ,but now im aware that if i lover her i can accept it.we all have rough patches and its important i feel to stand by the ones you love.


so now what the hell do i do? i hope she gets her space now that im not in her face.i think this can be a positive thing ,but i hate the fact that we are parting mad.of course we are gonna have a better time(at leat i know ill be having fun,where as she will still be stressing on school) she has seen a doctor this week and has finally asked her parents for financial help,which i think will help things out when i get back....


how limited should i keep my phone contact with her while im gone and how should i handle this huge mess?


i plan on living it up with friends and family and seeing a doctor.im afraid she wont find time to make the changes she needs during this space.......... tough times...

 

[Wiesman44]

It troubles me that she has lost 10 lbs. Is this due to lack of eating or stress / anxiety related ?

I've had a girlfriend like this in the past. My ex used to be belimic (sp ?) before we were going out, and she was ALWAYS busy with work. We ended up breaking up b/c she wasn't ready to keep up the relationship to something more serious b/c there was too much going on in her life. She was all screwed up in the head b/c of this and past bf's anyway.

All in all, from this experience, I'd reccomend talking to her about where she wants the relationship going. I'm assuming you're out of college working while she's still in college ? She might be having second thoughts about your relationship. This cold shoulder treatment does reflect a lowered interest level.

Fortunately, I think (and hope) that this is not the case. This busy sh*t is probably getting to her. I'd strongly reccommend giving her a week or two to sort things out in her head, and then talk about where the relationship is going. Just my 2 cents, and good luck

 

[thepapalinsignia]

its stress related.totally

 

[Cremasta]

I'll make this one simple for you...

She's under stress and cannot handle it.

You need to ask yourself if you have the time, energy or inclination to help her with what she needs.

Do not take a break, it doesn't work. You need to talk and you need to both unwind.

You've only been together just over a year and you are already going through 'rough patches', very bad sign...

 

[NewMan]

I will guarantee this is how she will be in the future.

She obviously cannot handle the stress - and look what happens - your the one who ends up getting fvcked (or not in your case )


Now this is where you've got to grab your balls.

The best thing to do is to move the fvck on. Do you want to get married, have kids with a woman like this? because life is not easy - and the true test of oneself is through the stressfull, difficult times.

She's showing her true character.

My advice - take the break. Don't call her. when you come back - you lay it to her. What you want and expect out of her - and what is not acceptable to you.

Cutting you off is not acceptable.

 

[giartodil]

Hay man I am praying for that situation